Hey everyone, this was one of my favorite posts. The numbers were better than usual and people were really positive. It  a good surprise. I don’t know why the poems and jokes are not popular in USA and don’t get these same numbers but I am still happy about this. I think I didn’t answer well for one person and should have said something more reassuring but I couldn’t tell if she was trolling me. I think she wasn’t. I think she really felt like God didn’t love her. So I might need to revisit that. Sorry about that. 

Anyway I did not take that iron pill but am going to. There is some thing else I forgot too and it is weird because I always think I won’t forget and then I do forget. Ok I remember. It has to do with maybe mailing books soon. I am going to see if that person named Misha wants some books. Maybe I will do another mailout soon. Like ten people or so. 

Well, that is all. Have a good day everyone.

 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 4:39. I had such a good time at my toastmasters meeting today. I hope I can give a speech someday. 

After that I ate a frozen meal that I like, which is the lean cuisine enchilada.  I added sour cream.  It was great.  Then I took a walk to dunkin donuts and ate a kiddie scoop ice cream cone. It was so yummy. It was a flavor that I have never had before. It was a type of birthday cake ice cream that had actual cake in it. I do not know how they kept the texture like that.

Now for an update on the hacking: I think my account got duplicated in some way, and they are collecting passwords that I would use in the future.  But I think that Facebook is going to fix it successfully.

I am able to run ads and have two new ads going currently.  This is the end of my budget for the recent extra help.  I got a lot out of it.  

Doing two factor authentication on several accounts got on my nerves, and I questioned it.  But in the end, I think it did work and allow me to get the people out of the account.  I think they got into the account because I used their link and was on my phone. So once I used my own link, I could see they were logged on and I kicked them out.  But they already hooked something up to the account, but it can be taken out by facebook.  Also, my meta verified subscription makes me eligible for extra customer service.  And actually, when I have needed it, they did help. So that is interesting.

I can't believe anyone would read this blog.  I have an interesting post every now and then, but usually it is just me yapping about what I do, which is normal survival and less and less, I don't know, high up in terms of being notable.  Like it is literally like, wow, I need to get rid of the bugs in my apartment.

So anyway, the other thing to say is that my poems and jokes get low numbers in USA and my ai art is not like that. So maybe I will share poems on that poem blog and post the link with more ai art.  Because for some reason, that poetry career just isn't endorsed by facebook except to India.  Unless there is a hidden audience.  The reason I think there could be is because I got spiritual asthma from posting that cashier ice cream post. And that was what happened with that Lamb of God post when it reached 2 million people. So why would I get that from posting the ice cream post to 6000 people?

Is it because an agent is considering me and this is it? Hmm, I do not know.  

I think I might see if Marla wants the box of books that got sent back. Mara Taviano.  She has some other friends in Columbia she could share with if she wants to.

Who else. Some hospital people. I think Dr. Banana and Halverson did not get any books, joke book or library book.  Both of those books are good and are meant as a good present.

Pals, the parties in my mind are really fun and kind of like regular socializing with actually some disability. Some memory and attention issues, and whatever the latuda does that makes me not feel feelings correctly.  But you know what, it is possible that the autoimmune condition is also behind it.  I think I might call it that instead of Lupus. I think that is harder to deny.

Well, that is all. I need to take an iron pill. I think I will take one right now.

Have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, I just remembered that toastmasters is today. It is at 1 pm. I can do it, it will be fine.

I don't think I will make more canva memes unless I just feel like logging on.

I think my memes have been cool. It is weird that it caught on and reached people when my poems and books didn't but my poems still could reach people in India.

I mean maybe it will be a hobby too in USA but just at a smaller level.

Like okay. 10k views, 3k likes. That is great.  I still got faked out in 2012 but on a normal scale, that is a great appreciation for poetry.  

I just feel like it impacts heaven too for my work to either reach people or not reach people. 

But we need to believe that anything can be made okay and resurrected.

So anyway this Toastmasters stuff is a challenge but I like it and will be hopefully sticking with it.  Hmm tomorrow am I going to Bruce's comedy show? I think I will.

Gice could you believe I got three steaks from that diner? 

Pals. There is something happy with comedy which is that I am usually just happy to be a real comedian and don't have to be the best. I am not as competitively ambitious in ways that don't matter. Like it is about the laughs.  That is interesting, isn't it. I think my striving in other subjects still is part of who I am and influences the kind of jokes I make.  But I am happy to be free in a certain way, to not be like hoping for awards or something. To instead be trying to laugh and make other people have the same laugh.

That is happy. As for the depression, a lot of us are like that. I might make a quote about how it could be from mourning about growing up. Like a lot of comedians have depression. Is it mourning from having to grow up.  But you don't just say stuff like that because of how some people don't have that luxury.

Anyway that is sad but a lot of people are suffering.  Sometimes I can really see it.  Certain loneliness or sickness, poverty and lack of opportunity, rejection and stuff like that.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am making some coffee. It is 11 am. I am going to text Haley and tell her I walked about 15 miles this week. Ok I texted her. Now the coffee is done. I went and got the coffee and just drank some. It is really good even though the thing happens where the grounds get clogged and the coffee is too light. I mean I am not sure what the problem is.

But the coffee is good.  There are too many bugs in my room and I need to get some of those roach motels.  This coffee is really good. I am thankful.

Will I walk somewhere today, maybe.

My facebook account is still working so far but I might have to start a new one. I mean maybe on a different email address or something.

But so far I will keep this one.

Maybe I will make an RB Tostada account with a different address but I am not sure they let us use your phone twice. Do you see what I mean.  

Pals, my new post is doing okay but not as crazy as that duck post. I mean that duck post really got people. And that fish post a few weeks ago. That is really cool to me. I was not planning to post the frog post so soon.  The other weird thing is that it got 912 "other clicks." Well that is very rare for me. I don't usually do as well on clicks. But I guess they went to my profile to see what was going on. 

Pals I felt an upset stress last night but I am okay today. I think I still do have some anxiety.  So possibly I will take an atarax if I need to but it did mess with a coughing feeling last time so I do not know but it also did work.

Well anyway I signed up for the Mensa speech and then they suggested getting three dollars of insurance for it which is ridiculous and then the link doesn't work, so they are like told you so. I mean how ridiculous.  And it is just a speech like any other zoom meeting.  I mean come on, people.

So anyway. I think I need to socialize today some. A few phone calls, a walk, etc. I was going to sit on that bench last night for a while but it was called into question by other people's health.

Gice, the elevator thing.  Total bullcrap. but good conversation with my friend Carmen.

Well ups and downs, live and learn.

Have a good day, everyone.

Hello everyone. This is Refried. I am really tired. I think I will try to take an iron pill soon.  Being tired is from the rough time today after I got hacked. It really shook me up and it lasted for hours and still isn't totally over. But I think it is okay. I think the accounts are secure. I think the two factor thing helped and when I logged them out they could not get back in.

My phone feels half hacked anyway. I mean honestly some of the regular technology seems rigged now.

But anyway, my numbers were lower for that groundhog meme.  I thought it was so funny but maybe it wasn't but to me it was.  However maybe there was a loss culturally. The other two jokes did well.

And the art memes are doing well in USA.  So that is good.

I am okay with all my posts.

I hope the hacking thing is over. My account seems the same with the same access to everything.

I did not phone two friends.  I think I am too tired again to talk to Erline. I mean I could call her right now. Maybe I will send a text but I am too tired really. I am breathing okay. I got anxious but it is mostly normal.Well have a good day everyone.

 

Hello everyone, I am making some new memes on Canva.  Maybe I will do some videos.  Usually I do come up with something usable. I think these are good but I actually wonder if a blank computer is better for that first one, and then only do that one. But I think it should say something and the original plan was "God loves you," but it didn't show up right on that computer.

So I edited it and it is mostly good but I am not sure it has the magical component in the right way. I mean I should use it for something.  But should I use the original with no words. Well I do not know.

 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. 

My blog views are lower for a few days but it is okay.

I enjoyed having all those views for a while.

Today I went to my psychiatrist appointment and it was great. I saw a bunch of pals from PHP and had a good time.  I decided to stay on the medicine I am on. I feel okay on it.  Dr. Talreja said that the latuda is not causing the anemia. He seemed certain and that convinces me.  I told him my most obvious recent lupus symptom and I think that the medical people will be on the lookout for it.

Dr. Talreja said to increase the iron pills to every day but take the Senna.  So I will do that. It is okay. I can do it. It will be okay. But I have to take that medicine. I mean I do not know if Senna is enough for that but it will probably be okay.

After my appointment, I got my rent check and medicine and then went to the diner for steak and eggs.  They gave me a huge long thin steak and it was the equivalent of three steaks.  I do not know why. I feel that it was in appreciation of me as a customer but to me they are the ones to be appreciated.

But it was a yummy meal and I had a good time.

Later I had a spell where I worried that I was going to be marked down for personality disorders but I think I am safe from that and should just be thankful for how things have gone. I have a lot of friends, I got through the worst social anxiety time, and the personality stuff has explanations.  There are actually four categories of issues, but the other conditions are so major that really it doesn't have to be a main thing. I think also it is a background threat if I don't take my medicine.

It was so fun to see the pals today. I figured out that me, Dr. Fatima, and Dilarom are Dave, Fred, and Roger.  Usually I am not included in the three guinea pig pattern so that is cool and funny.

There have been a lot of entertaining things in the conspiracy and I am sorry to have complained.  But at the same time, some stuff has really hurt me sometimes.

I figured out today that in heaven I can have reunions with everyone I have ever known and it will be fun party conferences, possibly in hotels that travel through space or something like that. I mean maybe ocean travel. That could be cool like underwater tours.

Anyway the other thing today was the rollover of my business credit card to a new company. It went well and I was not rejected as a customer.  However there is an issue with them providing cards for my employees and that status has changed since three years ago.

So I mean I do not know what to think but it will be okay.

There is something else: the facebook shares. It is going fine. I can't see the likes and comments easily enough on some posts, but it is okay.  And I am excited to see how some of my ai art is popular in USA. I mean not like millions popular, but popular in that it gets a favorable acceptance.  So that will be a new hobby soon.  Almost the same as India, but with maybe a certain comical style that I will try to repeat.

The other thing is that finally I got the Trileptal prescription. I do not really know what all these doctors are up to. Possibly it has to do with throwing off the legal sharks.  I mean it is kind of funny to think of the law people tracking the medicine for twenty years and having to collect proof from all the different doctors, etc. to prove whatever they will try to prove.  And then there is no case. I mean is that the idea, I do not know.  

Pals. I think writers digest might have followed up after that contest that I entered and did not win.  I mean maybe that is it or maybe it is another literary outreach from my queries.  Whatever it was, it made me laugh so much, and I had a great time. Thanks, pals.  I think I will be okay to not be bitter in a bad way and resentful with no respect for people. I think I did well keeping that to myself, and maybe I will resume being a book person like normal.

Well, that is all for today except that I might eat some ice cream soon.  That was such a weird spell this evening when I misread the notes and had some paranoia.  But I am okay. I do not know why that happened but the support group helped and I did the best I could.

I hope BB did not have to throw away all those books. I think they are safe enough. I mean ups and downs live and learn.  I think we are peacefully not competitors because of the political differences.

Anyway, have a great day, everyone.

 Hey everyone, I forgot tonight is laundry night. I took a shower though, so that is a mostly good and productive day, but unfortunately without exercise.  But I did get good stuff done.  A few memes, a therapy session, some cleaning, pest control, a shower, a community group, and tolerating a trigger stressor. I mean that was a rough trick but I am okay and was immediately thankful for the India people.

So that is okay but in a way it tests my memory too.  To see that a breakthrough like that did already happen and on more than one page.

Does anyone have any thoughts and comments?

I mean should I plow on through to do laundry without resting? I need to take medicine soon so maybe do the laundry sooner like at 11. Then medicine at 1. That is kind of late but it is okay.

I do not know if I did that good at autism tonight.  But it was pretty fun and a lot of people were stimming and I think it is cool that they believe me about my autism. They see it. They know it is true.

I mean that is cool because sometimes people don't believe you about stuff.

 Pals. My numbers are not corrected, they just spent the whole days budget in one hour. That is kind of mean but it was still fun for a while. I hope they do the whole three days and then stop. Is it because I paused the other ads?

I mean I don’t know. Are they reflecting disorganization like Montifiore does? I mean I almost called people and told them the good news.

So that is really mean and weird but at least I see how it feels for people who have good numbers in USA.

Because I don’t but I like sharing in India and that is happy too.

But the likes aren’t showing on the page either. I mean is it like disrespect or something? I don’t get it.

Is it meant to make me want to spend more?

I can only spend so much.

I mean that is weird but I have to say that this was a good experience.

 Pals, I think suddenly my numbers are corrected for America. Is it really because I said that about the evangelicals? Well it is what I meant, but I absolutely still disagree with the persecution.  And am I going to accept the outcome from having it corrected. Well probably so, because I do not want to waste the work.  And maybe the evangelicals are getting numbers somewhere.  But I have a feeling there are others like me who are like gee why is it everyone but me.

I mean I don't understand. I do think it is persecution. 

However it might have to do with writing time or something. I mean I do not know.

But the real kicker will be book sales.

I think I am going to have to go back to this page where it tallies. Because it is hitting 400 and 500 like when I do the India posts.

And yet those riskier jokes did not reach people and I couldn't even see the likes.

So what does it all mean.

I do not know.

But the fish post was cute and hopefully those people will get something someday.

Gosh.  I mean do I do a book sale ad soon? I think I will just be happy with this for now.

I just do not understand. 

 Pals. I had trouble deciding which post to boost. I ended up choosing the less legible one because the water on the paper owl image looks cheesy to me.  But I think I might have been wrong. I think that post was more obviously readable.  But maybe it doesn't matter.

I felt like also the other one had an ad for books on amazon.  And the other one didn't.  But the other one kind of complimented myself without being an ad.  So I don't know.  I want to post the images on here but the computer is set to block them and I don't know how to fix it.

I think it is okay. I think the first one might be more comical. So I will be okay with it. I think this is a good trend for these memes to be good or USA. It has to be certain ones, though, that are obviously ai and kind of funny in a certain way.

 Pals, this is Refried. I think I am not going on a walk to Dunkin Donuts. But I did take an iron pill.  Possibly that tongue problem last Sunday was because of being out in the sun. Like it might be more about the actual lupus than just the low iron. But I don't know. But I took an iron pill and I am staying out of the heat. But it is only 86. That is really okay for a walk but I just think I will make some more canva videos and art. Like some more cross pictures and maybe start a bible verse series for one of the art pages. I just think that the people like clicking like on that and it is a good opportunity.  So I will try to do some more art like that.

Pals I am really happy with the meme about prayer as shopping for miracles. Is the design just right, I am not sure. Like possibly it should be all photo with text over the photo. But I do not know. I mean maybe this basic solid color style is signature now.

I need to check the payment page and make sure I don't over charge on the capital one card.

Tomorrow hopefully my new credit card will roll over properly.  

They gave me too many notices to take it back now.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Pals, good news, I had a good therapy sessions, the tasers that the housing staff has are actually bug zappers, and I am probably going to be back on normal meds soon.

So that is really good. I had a fun therapy session and showed Drena some new memes and she did not discontinue me because of that questionable meme. But I feel certain it was the right thing to do.

Anyway I think I should walk to McDonald’s soon. But I might eat a microwave Salisbury steak.

At this conference last year I crossed the line with Christian books of a certain nature but I felt that people would really like them and I think they probably did but I forgot to say hello to a key person. But I can’t help it.

It is right on the edge of my functioning abilities.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, I had more interesting dreams, which is good because it means I slept. I have gotten plenty of sleep for a long time now.  I am thankful for that. My mental health could be a lot worse.

I guess I will wait and take the medicine for today after my therapy session at 12 o'clock. I think that is okay. Today I will also take an iron pill.

I just got some stuff done in the apartment.  I consolidated some stuff from bags and put the bags away, I filled a cart with clothes for laundry, and I put some water in the other cart and took the water out of the other cart and put up the cokes and groceries.  So now that counter area is clear in front of it so I can sort through that stuff and put more away and clean the counter.  I think cleaning the counter is the first step and then washing out the sink.  It is only one or two dishes plus the sink.  I can do that. And then mop the floor and I think after that I am mostly reset. But I have kept up with trash pretty well. 

The milk I got from Walgreens went bad and leaked onto the base of the bed because I forgot I had gotten it. But I have half and half and the spill is dry now but that is too bad. I could have eaten more cereal.

However I did finish those cocoa Krispies and you can get a reward in heaven for that.

So anyway I also made coffee.

So let's count the actions today: check facebook, put up groceries, put away bags, take water and cokes out of cart, put other water in cart, put clothes in cart, make coffee, add more trash to bag, take out trash.  

That is about ten things.  So that is good.  So floor and counter and that will be good for today. And maybe take a walk in the evening before autism group.

Ok there was something else interesting that happened. I think I will just keep it to myself. It was a good thing that makes me feel protected in a more thorough way than any attack would be.  So maybe there is an interesting movie that God is working on.  I mean that makes me want to kind of be at my best all the time but I don't think that is healthy to always be performing for the judgement day cameras.  Like if you are at home cooking then it shouldn't have to be a cooking show per se.

I mean to be on camera all the time without knowing who from what time period is going to have opinions about it.  But that is why the bible said to do things for the eyes of God.  It was trying to help people have a good book and video from their life in the library of guardian angels. 

Well, that is all everyone. That was kind of weird how I posted to the wrong blog before.

I wish people would have read my worldly monk blog more when I posted that post.  But it was not enough.  Only 70 views. That is not enough. 500 views for the posts, 70 views for the blog.  That is not enough.  People are just making people on both sides of whatever, to hate me.  

So anyway, have a good day everyone. Do you guys like my new jokes. Maybe I will think of a lot of jokes. That would be cool but I don't know if I will but what if I sit down and try to write thirty like a long time ago. I mean maybe.  Well, have a good day.

  Pals. I think I need to send an email to princetonpalities.

I had a dream where a lot of snakes were in it and we had to pick up the snakes to move them as we crossed some kind of river or something but we were at a location and it was a lot of people and some of it was friends from high school and Meg calnon helped me with a snake that was up my sleeve in a black and white Nike jacket.

Before that in the dream I was at a location where I lived and had two small bags packed and was on a busy Mexican street or somewhere else and did some wheeling and dealing in a store for supplies of some kind and then there was some other thing with a few other people where I had the right stuff but we had to do something and that preceeded the snake section of the dream and went well and was positive.

I also before that was like hmm I think I will take that class on the book of John.

So is this about the memes, the evangelical baptism post, or the blog, or the memes I just sent to India. I do not know. I feel that I did the right thing and how sweet that they like that cross picture.

Do I need to do another meme page of Bible verses and images like that. Maybe.

Ok. The snakes. I feel like that was the motherload. I just don’t appreciate people being like told you so etc like if I squawked anti trump stuff at the wrong time that would have solved everything.

anyway what is it. Which meme if any. Was it a spiritual block for me personally. Is it the immigration hold up. I do not know. Also is it defeated or just exposed as a problem which everyone has already been sqwawking about anyway. I mean what if some protestors are real and some are fake. hmm and church people. I just think mostly you can feel when people are doing right and are innocent.

But anyway yesterday I felt God’s presence in a certain location as if in space and it was like I knew him in middle school and it was more accurate than some other times and I felt good prayer opportunities but said I wanted instead to daydream and it made me feel better and he was okay with that and now I feel like he wanted to get a good view of me before the snake incident like maybe that was a good event. Because he did like me from that space perspective and I could feel how he liked other people too and I thought it was sweet. but anyway I mean that is cute it is like me with the imaginary mice.

However I don’t think these memes feel that special except that baptism meme was what people were waiting for from me. Well here is where I curse people out and say I did what I was supposed to. I went to the church that was available to me and it was all good. The churches mostly did pretty good. 

Also interestingly this pile of snakes I don’t think is from my mom but there could be some decoy scenarios because that conversation at Dunkin’ Donuts was like old times kind of before some of the serious problems and I think it was like a trio of things: the mental illness, the medicine, the mom controlling me. Those three things perpetually for all of adulthood. So that is weird but it was a good terms thing on our last conversation but some of that peace is from the hope that something will happen with the books soon. It is not okay for that work to be wasted. People say I need to confess that it is okay. It is not okay. The work should not be wasted. Can the work be wasted. I guess so and all will pass away. Is that what you people were waiting for. I mean you will get another curse out for that. Do you think it is okay for those buildings in Ukraine to be destroyed. No it is not. And it is not okay for my books to be wasted. People say yes it is, it is nothing. And I said no it is not okay and never was.

But anyway I just feel this argument against me like I am so stupid and should have been a better Christian instead of whatever I did do and you are wrong. And how many times do I have to say it.

And now you guys are like oh I am bullying one person well no I am not. This is from a lot of people who think there was no loss and there is something else missing that was supposed to be from me. I mean the absurdity of that. To have a hundred ignored books with a good mood and few mistakes in all of them and people say that a whole life of righteousness is missing from me. Like a house and people who don’t even exist and a career that no one let me have after five schoolings.

Anyway I am going to tell Dallas TS to send people to India. Really all the brands should do it. They have enough people who have God’s favorable gaze that it would be a happy national harvest for anyone would would like to go to a country with fewer trolls and less of the nasty politics. Though they do have their stuff too with that but it doesn’t matter as much as other stuff happening. 

Anyway this 3M attack on my life: the mental illness, medicine, mom. This is where I wonder if Stn is allowed to just choose an attack after knowing a lot about me. And why? Does it have to do with that time I asked God to remind me of stuff and said it was like he was a post it note. And then the post it notes at bn. And 9-11. People say this is where you are a kook. Well I am not sure that is true. because there is another 3M attack- the mom medicine molestation from the Dr brown incident.

So do you Gice think that caused a mild dissociation disorder which is what I questioned at the mall that time like why am I like a child! Because I thought it was the autism. But was it there in middle school? I was mostly just funny before. But I really liked all the toys and candy from grocery stores during high school. I don’t think that was a disorder. I think that was really me.

Anyway I can also pray for the people I chose not to pray for yesterday. I mean you can always pray but it was kind of like a sale that you don’t want to miss but that reminds me of another meme I need to do.

Like to say prayer is like shopping for miracles. I don’t know if that is really good or not and what would the image be well I don’t know. But it is like a giveaway or sweepstakes but I guess people need pray for more serious things than a game show really conveys.

 Wow I had such a great time at hope lab tonight. It was great. It was a treat for people who are sensitive but you can't assume they don't have mental illness but I think that people without mental health diagnosis also need reflection for their psychological states.

So that is interesting. I wrote two blurbs and shared them and it was fun, thanks MC. 

I will post the blurbs on my poems page.

Ravneet is so proud of me.

I had a good day. I mostly slept.  This morning my mood was not great but I am okay. I had to take a latuda so I would not get in trouble. I mean I kind of think I should stay on the Latuda but I wonder if it causes the low iron.  Does anyone have any opinions?

I ate some chocolate earlier and it was nice. And I had some pieces of frozen pizza that I cooked in the oven.  It was also yummy. And some coke. I think I have now had two coffees.

I should have tried to make friends with that hospital guy at Dunkin Donuts. But I guess maybe he is just a nice person in my community. 

So okay Jacobi is saying I am part of their community. What does this mean, I do not know.

I truly just do not know.  I think it has to do with rejecting the evangelical church. Like my acceptance at NYU was based on not being an evangelical but I insisted on being a rep from evangelical. I mean you guys are the ones with the problem on that.

Anyway I am feeling the spiritual feeling that happens when I share jokes in India.  So which ones will it be.  I want to share the idolatry meme because it is so cute and funny but I am not sure the audience will get the references. I mean maybe some people. I just don't know. But it is the funniest in a certain way. I don't plan to boost any posts immediately. I mean can I even afford it. I do not know.

The number of thru plays for that church poem video was 40 thousand. I mean that is great.  I am thankful and I feel that is a good outlet for those poems.

Well, I had a good night. Thanks also to Tami for the fun Complex minds meeting.  There were a lot of sad topics today but we got through it. It was a good mood.  So that is cool. Many hands make light work in terms of getting through problems. I think some of it is too much bad news on our feeds.  And other than that, it is mostly a load that a lot of people are bearing okay.

 Pals I removed that post because of the low numbers.  Facebook doesn't even show me the likes sometimes anymore.  So that is all for me on that one. I mean I put myself out there. And it was kind of an ugly meme. 

I just had some weird dreams but I am glad I slept.  Then I took my medicine. I did not skip Latuda even though I am going to ask Dr. Talreja if we should switch to Risperdal.  Because I am wondering if the anemia is from latuda. I mean personally I think it could be.

But probably it is from lupus. It is kind of weird to say that word. I might be okay with waiting on the diagnosis but maybe not because it is taking a toll on other health aspects and I get the blame.

Anyway yesterday was a weird day. It did not help to miss the Nami meeting.

Also I think the jalapeño poppers were what sat out recently and were old and that is not good for my IBS. But I am okay. I mean that meme wasn't a big deal.

Let's think, how much did I sleep.  Maybe a few hours. And I will sleep some now probably because of the medicine. But I might not take a walk like yesterday. But who knows, maybe I will.

There is not really anything planned for today. I am glad to have a free day.

I am not happy that I just took Latuda but I could really get abused if I skip it. So I will wait and ask Dr. Talreja about the medicine. 

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I think my post is fine. I mean maybe no one wants to read the blog. Possibly I should have put it on this blog but I felt that it was a worldly monk post.

Today I have an online group and then maybe creative writing but maybe not. I defriended the bad person from that group and may never go back. I mean close range overt bullying in a group of five people. Wow, I feel bad for you. 

Anyway, some of this mob stuff about the autistic professor seems to be going in a direction of targeting free speech.  But I might be wrong.  They might just be using their free speech against people who bullied someone. 

I think there could be an issue where assembly loses its power.  Like the protesting gets overdone. But I could be wrong. I mean maybe something is usually better than nothing.

I am a little bit worried about being tased to death, or at all.  I think that the staff here at housing already has tasers sitting on their desks. It looks like a yellow and black tennis racket. Gloves, to me, are on another level.  And I have some sympathy for people like EMS workers if they are told to start using that.  Not everyone will feel strong enough to leave over it or lose their job, etc.

That is just me. I am also heartbroken and horrified for the immigrants.  But it is weird that I could also be tased as early as tomorrow.  Which reminds me that I need to check and see when my psychiatrist appointment is.

As for my other post, I mean the way the church just kept teaching that bullcrap with a third of their congregants going through mental health stuff. And thinking people were too stupid to see through it.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I paused my post.  Facebook did not give me good enough numbers.  Only 80 people per dollar.  That is not enough. It has to be a hundred or I do not boost the post. It is not fair. It is their same censorship that they have done to me for ten years.  I am thankful for my audience in India and I will focus on that.

It is fine with me if this post only goes to my facebook friends.  I mean in a way it means facebook has now taken two salaries from me.  My American audience and the payment for my Indian audience.  That is two different careers. Well I am happy that my work did reach some people and was not totally wasted. And I did see that they list me as a beneficiary for the ads.  Conspicuously not the people who get free jokes.  That does not change the truth that they get my content and my money.  A reverse salary.

I mean at this point I may have a strong legal case against them. However I am still just waiting to see what happens. Like is there some channel that someone else has that will end up being how my books sell.

I do not know.  The number 80 is interesting too, because it is almost enough to boost anyway.

But I will not be kicking myself.  All I know is I did everything I could for myself and others.  And it was blocked. And the people who thought they were different and special are just like everyone else.  No one is that great.  We all deserved a normal, fair voice on social media.  

I mean you could look at it as a trial run for doing some of this leveraging in real life.  And it was a tragic failure and disgraceful injustice.  So now we know.  I mean wow, people lost me, and this is how.

I am not sure about this new thing where facebook doesn't show me my likes.  But it shows other people and they can tag my page without me knowing it.  How absurdly persecutory.  But at least they did let me run that other ad, but possibly because they think people can use it against me.

Ok everyone, I posted a post.  It is good, but I know some people are like "too late," or "it's about time." But really I was twenty years ahead of any of y'all so I don't need your bullcrap either.  It is both churches. It is also the liberals. There is racism there, too.  The self righteous milking of your own appopriation that just happened to be more successful. Sorry but I do not buy into that either.

You will also get your blog posts so don't get too proud. It is not me against the world. You want to say I am saying I am the only person who did right. But I am not.  And a lot of the people were in churches, and went wherever they could.  They went to work.  They did what they were supposed to, only to be called racist bigots, and if you persecute us then you will be found out as persecutors.  And you say now I am doing it, but I am not.

And don't get me started on the Mexicans, either.  Because there was disrespect there, and all three parties procrastinated. And what am I doing, telling the truth as my years dwindle with no salary for five careers. People arranged for me to do it all anyway, but just not get paid.  What a good deal. For who?  Where is the cash? It is not just cash. It is other stuff of value. Follow the money, follow the life.  

Now what. I have a meeting at 1 pm.  The speech I want to make at Toastmasters might be about how in middle school I sat on the couch with the catalog, things you never knew existed but can't possibly live without.  And there were a lot of things I wanted but I could only get the 6 things for 99 cents each deal.  But I also wanted the tiniest bible in the world trinket but could not afford it.  So I got the disappearing ink and handbuzzer and snake in a can trick. Man it was all so funny.  And that is is how it worked out in life, too.  So that will be my speech. Now you are all included in Toastmasters.

 Hello everyone. I think the iron pill immediately helped my tongue. I still feel muscle pains in my leg sometimes. I think I am ok with that. I don’t have bad fatigue and my tongue is okay. I think I have lost some weight since reducing the latuda. But it could be because my scale is off balance but I think it is an improvement.

So anyway I am microwaving some coffee.

I think I will clean a little today. I just took out the trash. I mean actually my apartment is not that bad. I think maybe I should clear the sink and counter. I only have one more main dish left plus clean the sink.

How did I do at the conference. I think I did well. I don’t know how my queries will go. Also the questionable meme. But I think some people want it to be the end of my career when it isn’t and shouldn’t be.

Anyway I am sad about ICE having electric shock gloves. I fear that also as a mental patient. It is not humane.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I tried to go to a picnic today and I could not find it. I also went to the wrong place first so I had to get a cab and try again.  So it ended up being a costly trip but I got through it.  I ended up going to one of my favorite diners but the steak and eggs was not great. It was okay but not like last time.  I did not order a coffee.  I just got one here at home. 

My tongue got burnt yesterday on pizza but I think it is also messed up from low iron.  But my fatigue is not that bad. I need a haircut and I think I was kind of baggy today and need to shape up a little.

I feel tired from feeling some grief about my humor writing career and what might have been etc. The humor writing event kind of reminded me of that but I am okay. I had a great time. I thought of something really funny as soon as it started.

I feel like we need to consider that the Latuda might be causing the low iron.  Because did it happen before? No. and it is very serious. I also think scheduling the next appointment for 6 months away kind of makes it seem like it is okay when it is not.

Anyway there have been some weird trolls lately.  I feel bad for them and I think they have a delusional hope that there will be some kind of public shaming of me some day.  

I had a religious vision yesterday of Jesus looking like Moses on the ark. As in Noah's ark. Isn't that weird? I am not sure what it means. I had some interpretations but I was kind of out of it and tired.

Anyway I need to call my mom this week and see how she is feeing about her next hip surgery. I can't believe she has to do it again. I hope it goes well.

That is all for now. Does anyone have any opinions?

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am getting my refrigerator under control.  The freezer is clear now and I will work on the fridge. It is not that crazy but I accidentally left the door ajar for a while.

So anyway, about this death of the autistic professor.  They say it is not suspicious but the timing is suspicious.  So to me now their investigation is suspicious.

Now, does it have to do with me personally. I do not really think so.

Was I supposed to submit a query for the writers conference. Also I did not participate in the chat for the chat page but I did participate in the sessions.

I had a good time and people were really funny. I mean I would have liked to be friends with all those people. 

Maybe it is not too late.

Do I need to make coffee soon? 

Has my asthma been an issue or anxiety lately? Should I take an atarax? Maybe.

Is Drena mad at me? Probably not.  

Pals, it throws me off to lose the zable budget but I will whittle it down and start over.

 Pals, this is Refried. I just went to an excellent conference. It was on humor writing. It really made me laugh. I had a great time. I met cool people. I forgot to get one person's email address.

I wrote a few jokes that I think were successful. Most of all I learned that I really need to be doing stand up every week. I need to be churning out the jokes. I need to try to make it a career.

I think I have enough jokes for another routine soon.  So will I do another class in the fall? Or just try to peddle a new routine? I am thinking do another class.  

But what about visiting family for thanksgiving. Well I do not know.  I mean maybe it is sept oct.

I just hate to ask for another deposit but that other one was for something specific.

So anyway, that was crazy about my zable account, wasn't it? Well I did what I did and now I own the name of something. 

I think that is what I will call the new organization. Okey Jokey. And I have the domain. I mean that is great. I did the best I could. I will pay down the card and I can still afford steak and eggs.

 Pals, hello. It is Saturday, Aug 15. Yesterday, my business credit card was supposed to be switched to a new company, but I found out that the main thing doesn’t happen until Aug 20. It is a little suspicious and I am kind of worried. But it will be okay.

I am taking a humor writing class today even though I should be at the level of the presenters. And the pre videos are making me aware of my missing career. It could not be more obvious that I should have succeeded years ago. And why didn’t I? I do not know but I guess make the most of the comedy opportunities. I need to write a new routine about health, etc. I mean honestly the pace of comedy classes is all I can do. But I should go to some more open mics. I think I will try to go next Wednesday.  I couldn’t this Wednesday because of my finger.

Anyway maybe the secret messages are saying to boost some of the stand up posts. I mean maybe for 40 dollars.

Just the cruelty of it but I can pray for forgiveness and I think that is the point. It is because my writing is supposed to reach people after my time and it is Christian poetry so they need to see that I forgave. I just feel like my work was needed in my time and it was wasteful what people did. And the justice people don’t deserve to be seen as hypocrits either but they were. You were. Are you reading this? You were.

So anyway, racism.

Ok moving on. I am sad about the Jason guy who died. The autistic professor. Did he get bullied, did I read along in a bad way. I mean I kind of think that the scrutiny he got was based on something and it is part of the profession if he is going to be at that level. But anyway I think it is sad. 

I need to wash two dishes today. Also I should take a walk. Should I take a walk right now? I kind of should but I am already drinking coffee. I had three days of meds. So that was 3 - 1- 3. That needs to be good enough for people. Because I feel ok. I caught up on sleep and that is nice. I just have no paranoia and am simply bothered that the elevator is broken again.

 Hello everyone. I just went to an amazing support group. Wow they are nice people. It is not easy surviving manic depression or schizoaffective.

People are facing health stuff too. I mean it makes me happy to pray for people because really that is something I can do for everyone and people can be prayed for even if they don’t know it.

I got some groceries today and it went well. The guy’s name is Sekou and he remembered that I gave him a joke book. That is so sweet. He did awesome.

I got a lot of frozen meals. I might eat them too fast because I ate two today. I am so excited that the stop and shop does have turkey tettrazini. The last person could not find it. It is yummy and my favorite.

I also got fruit snacks and gave some to my neighbor and he was really happy. The box I got was huge. I mean there must have been 40 packs of fruit snacks. It was Mott’s. I mean I am a gushers person but I mixed it up.

I believe Gushers is going to do well on Judgement Day. I actually can’t wait to see them get a reward.

I think I will exercise in my room tonight. I sometimes do well with pacing in my kitchen so I might try that. And then walk in the morning to Walgreens and then take my medicine. I actually think I am doing well with medicine. Like the way I take it in the morning then night sometimes so I miss half a day. That is not that bad.  I mean what is the bottom line is I am mostly sane. Isn’t that the point? I think it is. 

Well, I will write more later. Thanks everyone for helping me get through such a tough month and a half. It feels mostly back to normal now for hopefully a while.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I just want to thank everyone for their support during the great free speech challenge of 2026. I do think I had TLE inspiration behind it so your reactions are part of that and I look forward to a million years of happy fun life and imaginary animals.

I just applied for one of those cheap credit cards that aren’t that good of a deal. I got approved for five hundred dollars and it is already activated as an online card. It kind of helps my mood but not that much because the amount is kind of low as far as credit cards go. But I now have five of those small cards and can pay them off easily if and when I need to.

I did not take a walk today even though it was good weather. I did not do much today. But I am planning on doing laundry later. So that will be three things: credit card, support group, and laundry. Plus I made coffee, took a shower, did the medicine, and boosted a tik tok video.

should I try to revert to my old computer for zoom video? I just am not able to connect it to internet. So hmm I do not know what to do about that.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 So that is done, sorry for the excessive posts. I now turn my attention back to my finger, to the probable additional spicy food flare coming soon, and to this past three year problem with having my health harmed. It is just not okay what happened. The extra medicine and what it did to me and the latuda effects are not okay. I’m still on the latuda and it is still harming me. But at least it was reduced.

I think some people think I am okay and are just like, don’t eat spicy food and you’ll be fine. Maybe they are right. Maybe it is that simple.

Well, that is all. Today is grocery day. Probably I will get a late start on that.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Wednesday morning at 7 am. I was late with the antibiotic but it is probably ok. I slept some but have not taken my medicine yet but will soon and it is only five hours late.

I finished the meme share and it was okay. I did what I did and I believe it was the right thing to not waste that idea, to use it on that particular person and topic, and to tolerate any reactions from people who might not understand all the whys of saying that. There are actually a lot of factors.

So anyway there were some trolls but I think they were the right angries for the most part. I am not able to see the final results but it was about 200 likes and 30 dislikes. And most people left it alone. The meme got 30 percent fewer views than the other two. I mean all of them to me were my participation in current events. Not all my memes are like that and probably the next ones will go to India.

The videos are doing fine but not showing the totals on the page. I think that is not fair. But maybe it is for some reason that had to do with the other posts.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 11 pm.  I just boosted two videos. They were good but not the best but still good. A cute mouse, and cute smiley faces.  I think it will be a while for videos after this. I think this maintains the service of cute videos pretty well.

Also good news, my other three posts all did well.  I got some more angries but I think it was from right wingers who like Elon musk. And everyone gets the idea, and the ad serves its purposes.

So that is happy.  And the other two memes did well too. I mean that was a weird experience. You just have to keep trying and be brave and do the best you can.

So that is good, live and learn, ups and downs.  Some people are funnier than me on facebook.  A lot of people, but I do my thing and I am thankful.

I think God gave me a lot of opportunities that are things you can get credit for for character.  Like chores, health, forgiveness, etc.  But what if all that isn't about me getting stats but having a concept so I can reward other people when I am on a judgement day committee.

Well I do not know.  But think of those opportunities in my life.  It is a lot.  Like if you compare it to me getting evaluated as a writer and comedy person. It's like, yeah, these are good stories, this is funny, the endings could have been better on some of those stories, your poems are only at a certain level, but it is good stuff.  And then the chores and work and other life discipline, it is like, okay, it was literally an all you can eat buffet for rewards and you slouched. I mean maybe this is comedy material.

So anyway I am thankful and aware of other suffering that people have right now. I mean do I say that too much.  People are going through a lot.  

Well, now I will snooze a while. 

 Gice I had a nice Tuesday. I think I saw a missing person today. I don't mean person like person I mean a missing person. Then I went to dunking donuts. Then I did the best I could all day. Then I went to two great meetings. People have done a lot for me and helped me recover from stuff.

What should I do about my finger. I think I should call Dr. Parik soon. But tomorrow is probably grocery day.  Soon I will finish lunch. Then what. Hmm I do not know. I think I made the right people mad with the post.  And it doesn't matter that much.

I can take my medicine at 3 am. At midnight I need to do a finger treatment.  This is day 6. So one more day and it should have been gone by now.  So what does it all mean. I do not know.

I need to pick up that medicine from Dr. Zhao. But insurance might be mad but they need to understand that I have had a rough month and it is not a joke and some people might have gone to the hospital. I mean like overnight for a week or two.

I feel better now and ignored the results of the meme. I posted it for a reason and people can question it.

I think actually the joke will be stolen and someone else will take it further to apply to all big tech.

It's not really as joke as much as a witticism.

So anyway I know it is not that big of a deal but it was a challenge for me.

I think it is time to do a comedy routine. Should I do an open mic tomorrow? Maybe I will.  But what about my hand. Hmm I do not know.

 Ok everyone I am going to try not to view the ad. Possibly some trolls read this blog now.

I think I might go to that humor writer thing.

I mean it is not expensive.

I got some good prayers done.

Maybe bad to say that but sometimes I really don’t get the good prayers done. Like sometimes I really don’t feel it so I am saying that we did get some good stuff just now.

So I will soon rest again and ignore facebook.

A lot of people reached out with support. Thanks everyone.

Gice I might see if Dr Parik will take another look at the questionable issue on my finger. I am not walking to Walgreens yet because there might be a storm. I think tomorrow will be a grocery day.

 Gice I think save the money.  The results are not showing on my page.I kind of like that only the viewers can see it because that is like a reward for them.  But I think maybe I can save a hundred dollars on this so maybe do the videos.  I need to make some more videos. And maybe art memes.  I just feel like what did I actually make, it was these memes.  So maybe don't waste them.  And it could be one troll who is doing those angry faces.  And it is only ten angrier out of 600 views, and there were about 60 likes.

I mean that is not bad but I just think maybe save the money. Am I wrong? 

Just now I was ready to resume the ad but I concluded to save the money.  So I guess I will. But honestly this might go on until the schedule is done.

As for other things going on.  Is my finger better yet. I still see traces of it.  That is not good. I will call Dr. Parik after the whole regimen is done.

Soon I will eat lunch. It will be yummy.  I just think I need a sauce.  Mayo and barbecue, mustard and honey.  That will be a great sauce.

Ravneet talked to me earlier and helped me feel better. Thanks Ravneet.

Pals, this was an adventure, wasn't it?  I mean for some people it is so simple, like you don't say certain things.  But for some people, it is not that simple, and I am one of those people.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday, August 11 at 2:17 pm.  I just went to Dunkin Donuts and Grab and Go.  I got some good food but I have to make a sauce. I am out of honey so what will I use, maybe some sugar in the sauce. It will be fine.

So anyway I checked the names and I think I made the right people mad.  It is mostly Elon Musk cronies.  But they are trying to add angry faces in bulk so I need to block some of them.  And it is fake profiles.

I think I will do one more resume ad and not revisit it no matter what, like not even check in on that.  Maybe I am wrong to not monitor it.  But I think I am chickening out too easily when I get an angry face.  And Facebook is not showing all the likes.

I mean I think I am compromising some of the meaning by thinking about it too much and yet this is how it really is going for me. Like I really do believe in it, I know other people will get it, I know some people won't, and I know that it got a mostly positive reaction so far.

I also think some white supremacists might be following this blog so they are hitting the angry face on purpose and I need to block them.

I mean it is kind of disturbing.  But anyway I need to eat some food soon. I mean maybe no sauce for some reason. I just wish they would make that creamed corn.

Does anyone have any thoughts? I think I should resume ad.  I think facebook will be patient.

 Pals. I got some support that is a great honor. it really helped me and is kind of sweet like a good memory with some of my socializing. 

I think I will still get hit with some opposition but some people don’t know what I know about other offenses.

And what is to be said about a trillionaire who takes away people’s food stamps. There is one thing to be said. And I will say it. And it is still cloaked in wit and literary value.

Facebook also supports me. So I will try to last a while longer. This is kind of like one of those bull riding machines like how long can you take it. Some people think they are brave on facebook when really that is the trend. This is more about judgement than bravery but it is still hard.

But it is hard in a certain way and not in other ways. 

Well, that is all. Thanks for being my friends everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday, August 11. I am going to try to take a walk soon. It is good weather for it. I think I will get some food from that grab and go if I am able to.

I got good sleep and took my medicine. Two days ago I accidentally forgot psych meds.  But I am okay. I had an interesting dream about mascotting, children's book writer, and thrift store. 

I feel mostly normal about the meme. It is not that big of a deal. I mean I kind of wish I could have been stronger and already gone through with it but I did tolerate it for a while. I mean if you have to tolerate it, that is a sign, and yet I think it was very successful. So maybe later I will do one more day.

Anyway, not much is different from yesterday. I just need to go take a walk. I mean even that doesn't need that much urgency except now is the time for it so do it and get something to eat.

I paid my copyright bill so three books are going to be registered.  And then maybe in November I will do 5 more.  And then the next three and that is the main 11. I feel good about these three and think it worked out how it was meant to be. It still takes time and is not done until the process is complete.  But it is in someone else's hands now which is unusual for me.

So okay, that is all. I will try to leave about noon.  How is the finger. I still see hints of pink but it is mostly okay but I think in two days I will report back to Dr. Parik.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Ok everyone, I found the post. The likes are not always visible to me.  It actually got a lot of likes for something so severely taboo.  So people get it. They agree with me. They understand the intent. 

So I have a feeling I will resume the ad. I just feel like I had a spell and felt like I had made a dreadful mistake or something, but I know I have not made a mistake in creating the meme and posting it. 

I think sharing is okay too, and it just depends on how it goes and if I can take it.  And this is a reminder to be thankful for prior days.  I mean it has gone well. 

One regret is I wish I had followed more people in India who wanted me to follow them. 

Sorry about that. I mean who knows, maybe it is wiser to not overdo it. 

So okay. I believe I will recover from that mood drop and continue with the ad.

I just feel like it should see the light of day and get sent around to some extent. And think about how many jokes I have not sent around, like that scalpel meme.

Maybe that is what some people have to say to me about this one.

But don't you guys see how this has to do with stuff happening right now and these are the memes of choice? Well hmm we will see how it goes. I think I might always win and lose some people as a writer.

And yet isn't my stuff mostly kind of friendly? I mean is that what some people always saw? Was how zappy some stuff could seem to some people?

Well it is for teens.  I am getting on people's nerves now, aren't I? Hesitating, overthinking, etc.

Like it is not that big of a deal. I just feel like some of those angry faces are not from ignorant right wingers who are sticking up for the trillionaire.  And I take those other concerns kind of seriously.

 Ok everyone, it is possible that I will resume the ads. Maybe at about 12 am.  They aren't showing me the results.  I have an idea of them, which is about 6 out of 50 are mad.  That is not that bad.

But I don't want to lose those people who have really supported me.  Like there is a category of person who liked my name and was positive about everything.  And if they feel personally insulted, then it is not worth it.  But I have to say, do they not see it and agree? Like can't you tell who I am calling a name and why and why that name? 

I think the most interesting thing is that the ad was approved.  Which I really respect.  Because it is a joke with literary value and makes sense instead of violating community standards. 

So I guess I will repost. I mean are people telling me that they think a legal shark is at toastmasters? I feel safe there. I think there are no legal sharks there. I am having a good time with those people.

Gice it was a tough hour and reminds me of what kids go through in school.  When something is on their mind and there is another challenge that also matters but is kind of tough in multiple ways with multiple consequences.

So anyway, does anyone have any opinions? I guess it could be that the legal sharks have to react to the post in some way and might go to jail.

 Hello everyone, I just finished a toastmasters meeting and it was really fun. I was a little distracted because it was hard to tell what kind of response I got on my memes and I saw a few angry faces from what seem like nice people.  And honestly they could be agreeing with me or mad at the post.  But I think they are mad at the post.  But some people did like it.

So I hit pause.  But I might have been wrong to hit pause.  It is only a two day boost. But if it is only two days, it can be one day or no days.

So I will think about it.  My therapist suggested that it might not be worth it. I kind of feel that. Like when it is out there and some people aren't on the same page as me about all of it. Like why offend without a payoff.  And yet I feel like the post is important in some ways.  Not the most important ever.  Not the bravest ever. Just possibly the most questionable but the answer for me was clearly to post and share.

I think not sharing it might also send a message that I think I was wrong and that is not it.  I mean maybe this is like the E.T. fire post, too.  But don't some people get it?  Like every time, don't some people see what I mean and why and why post it?

People can say who do I think I am but it is not that.  It is being below it all.  The farce of people being okay with what has happened to me but not okay with that post, when actually the bitcoin post is the zinger.  So anyway I will think about what to do next.

I mean Cookie Monster and the F word was questionable on my page but it really made me laugh.

So I guess I will visit Facebook and see if there is any feedback.

I have a disease. A real disease that is making me too tired to do anything and causing dangerous lesions on my skin.  

I need to talk to Ravneet but it is hard to understand her messages right now.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. There is going to be a storm so I have to wait and walk at 7 pm. My ads got approved and I am reminded that many aces have done me right. The library of congress has some questionable rules about ai but hopefully it will all be worked out over time.

Today was a good day where a lot of people helped me and I did not feel frustrated. Only challenged with my own goals. That is how work should be. It should not be a bramble patch that only tests your character and endurance through abuse.

Anyway what a funny meme from I’m Awesomesauce. I mean it is so funny and makes you wonder why put other stuff at stake with a joke that is not as funny.

I was about to say that I could get confused and think that I am I’m awesoemsauce or psychotic delusions. But then I was like ok does that make sense to certain readers. Well I promote them to the world at large.

Anyway I think I still have a varmit bothering me. I  sure I will get rid of it somehow soon.

This is interesting to have the serious skin problems during this time isn’t it. I mean you have to see it as literary or something.

Well, have a good day everyone. 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Monday, August 10. It is 3 pm. I just talked to my therapist. It was great.  thanks Drena.  Drena questions if the meme in question is funny enough or clever enough to spend my reputation on. like the risk vs benefit. I think I am still keeping the meme posted for now and will just think about whether to boost or not. I might do a 40 40 40 boost of those exact memes.

And it doesn't really matter. I think that is the main issue is that it isn't that big of a deal either way.

So okay. Next up is maybe take a walk.  Now will I go to that far grocery store or walk to Starbucks.

Drena does not reward missing a dose of medicine but I really did forget because of treating the finger spot. I mean maybe I should not have told her because I think I got punished for it. But she said what do you mean punished.

So okay. I told her I felt like I had already had the appointment. I mean was that bad to say. I do not know. I think she knows it was my symptoms that was causing problems. But I should not say that or they will make me take more medicine.

I told her I think I die in the Bronx but I hope I am about to move to Manhattan.

So now I have free time until 7 pm. Does anyone have any opinions?

Should I walk to Starbucks or the grocery store? I mean I do not know.

I can eat Honey Nut Cheerios for a while and do not need the smart start immediately.  It might be something to do tomorrow instead and today walk to Starbucks.

So now the only issue is the weather. I think it is about 85 degrees. That is fine for a walk.

Does anyone have any opinions? Please let me know in secret messages.

 Ok everyone, I am glad I posted the posts. I was like okay, I am just waiting for someone else's opinion.  And I feel what I did was right and that joke percolated for two years and I was patient.

So that is interesting. I mean the posts aren't even sharing that much.

I have a lot of posts that have not shared yet. But I think I am on track. And I might share a post on my bronx civil social page too.

like just share the purple post so people could find the poems and jokes page.

Anyway wow I wish these copyrights weren't so expensive. I told my mom the truth about the cost of it.

I mean it is possible that I can only do those three books.  Really it is okay. It is a good selection. I need to figure out the next three. But maybe be patient. Maybe do five. I mean who knows, maybe I will have some cash someday soon.

Wow ups and downs live and learn.

Gice the difference between this post and that lslam post is kind of interesting.  

Gice I think doing that God loves you post really worked out well. I think that was effective good outreach to usa.  It was accepted happily. I think that was a slight change.

What have I done for India lately? Not much since those other 500k posts. Those were good. The butterflies and inchworm.  So what is next.  A video? Maybe.  So I need to maybe generate a few more good videos. I think I ran out when maybe I would be happy to do a few more. So that is the next creative project. I mean should I do more images? Maybe. 

So now what, clean up some, trash, dishes, get laundry together for Wednesday. Pals, I think I made the right decision. I feel peaceful. I do the best I can. I can defend any doubts. I believe my perspective about that and think it had to be me.  

 Pals, the squirrel is yawning because it is not that big of a deal.  I know it is not that big of a deal but I do not do certain things lightly when other people have thrown their reputation in the mix at various levels.

So anyway this blog has gotten 38 thousand views in the past few months.  That is really good.  I mean why didn't that happen when I was writing more polished posts, I do not know, but I am happy to be journaling for people, too. I think that is where the word journalism came from.

I am listening to music right now. It would be good to take a walk. 

Would I go to the far grocery store and buy some smart start? I think that is what I would do. But when will I do that. It is 11 am right now. I slept okay and had a weird dream where I was a speaker at a church and then was going to get credit for it but didn't get that much credit and then they started handing out medals to everyone else for helping fight crime but I had done the same stuff.

I am having three books copyrighted. I need to fill out some forms. It is not that easy.  I am possibly not doing well and it could have been more cost efficient.  And yet I think maybe this worked out the way it did for a reason. I think I will try to do five more in the late fall, and then maybe ten on my own.  But I do not know. Let's see how this goes.

Ok. I drank a small cup of coffee but might benefit from some more. So I mean maybe walk to the store and stop for coffee. I do not know.  Maybe after my appointment.  I think my meeting is at 8 pm.  So from 3-7 I can take a walk. and yet I think there is a slight heat wave right now. Well hmm.

Gice one of my friends gave me a helpful facial expression.  I need to ponder what it means.

 Pals. This is Refried. Today is Monday. My mom was just nice to me on the phone. Thanks mom.  I took an iron pill earlier.  I think I am averaging every other day now.  But I am not sure it is working and yet it does work some and make the fatigue better.

So okay. The finger infection does look better and yet there are still traces of it and I think there will be traces of it after the full 7 days. But I do not know. I mean maybe it is okay.

I think I forgot my psych meds last night but that is okay. I feel fine. It could help the iron pill be absorbed better. 

Now, to everyone who rolls your eyes when I say lupus. I agree that I do not need another diagnosis. Another illness, another disease.  I already have enough stuff.  But at the same time, I do have the real symptoms that are sometimes serious and undeniable. I am thankful to have gotten another five years in with normal eating except a few foods I had to skip.  That is great and might be enough to hope for.

Gice my room is warm now, is the air conditioning working properly? I mean is it here we go again?

Anyway maybe it is okay.  I am going to try to clean the apartment some today.  Make bed, take out trash, mop floor, maybe tidy books, do dishes, wipe counter.  So the same inspection stuff. I will do that later.

I also have a toastmasters meeting later. It will be pretty fun. I am the grammarian again. I think there is something missing with this role process. I think I need to participate in table topics before being the MC.

So I will see how that goes. I will do the best I can. I think I need to go downstairs and ask them if the air conditioning is on. 

Yesterday I made a corn dip and it was great. Pals I think the air conditioning is not on. Wow I do not need that to start up again in the middle of august.

 Wow, those were good notes. I just added more medicine and I do think it is going in the right direction. In just a while I have my children's book critique group.

I have a section ready, I hope it goes well. 1100 words exactly.

Thanks Patrick and Dr. Zhao.

Thanks Dr. Parik.

It is probably not from my sink, it is from the skin picking and computer.  But also the low iron lupus skin tendencies. The low iron might have to do with Latuda digestion but I don't think it is only that.

So I just need to take my medicine. I have been taking the medicine but that can also add to the exact problem so every other day is best. I mean I have taken it sometimes and the bottle is going to run out some day and people can't say I did not try.

So anyway. Gice.  The new memes.  I need to wait one more day and ask Drena. Claire said don't do it but I think she used to do that other times when it was a definite thumbs up.

I just do kind of believe in this meme and think I have to be brave.  But while waiting to hear from an agent! I mean that I kind of crazy. And I could lose my Facebook account over it.  And yet it is kind of nailing it in a way. I think it could really benefit the discussion.

So anyway it is a maybe on that. Other than that, what is next, calling my mom about copyrights.

 Pals, good news.  Another Dr, Dr. Zhao, thinks it is not mrsa. She prescribed something else but I think I might be able to proceed with the original idea from Dr. Parik.  They think it is regular staph. The other one might also be like that.  The other one was mostly itchy at first, too.  But she just really thinks it is not mrsa. So I think maybe hope for the best.

She told me that it would be strange for doctors not to do right.  That was helpful to me. It both affirms it and does not assume anything.

So I think I will trust these people, I mean what else would I do. Like no oral antibiotics were prescribed, and these are the people I trust. So I think we are okay.

Ravneet, yoo hoo, are you out there somewhere? It seems to just be low iron skin.

Gice I told Dr. Yuan that I might have a skin problem from low iron.

Gice I think we need to stop the latuda. Do we know that the low iron isn't from that? I mean it is probably from the lupus but there are some other factors.

Anyway I might have iron transfusions in the future but Dr. Dalmeus said I could get an injection.

Well, have a good day, everyone. Thanks for being there for me.

I am not going to Walgreens that soon. I think they think the other place is excema.  Pretty funny.

And yet it is not funny because I don't understand how it is not mrsa.

Well, that is all everyone.

 ok pals, three new memes are dropping tomorrow, possibly tonight but I want to ask a mentor about her opinion on one. How is the skin spot, you ask? Better, not swollen, smaller red area, but still not back to normal and this was 2.5 days. So let's see, two more doses and it is three days, really 3.3.  And to me that should do it and the rest of the doses should be to just do right for the finish up.  And yet I question if there is something not working, which means I need to find that other tube.  Which I should do anyway. I saw it go under something. But I can't remember and I have checked everywhere. I checked under the treadmill, under the chair mostly, under the bed, on the table, most of the chair area, near the wall, but I have not done perfect.  So possibly I will do another search. I don't expect any kind of visit anywhere tomorrow, even online.  I kind of understand the idea of treating each random thing as it happens instead of going onto a lupus tangent.  But it would have helped if I had known that low iron can mess with the skin like this and it also matches lupus symptoms.  Because I did have a lupus attack from that spicy food.  And it was not a joke either.  It had near symptoms and people are like tra la la we don't believe you.  

Why would I malinger lupus. I am a schizophrenia person. I would exaggerate my actual disorganization and dementia if I wanted more attention.  Which I do want more attention.  But to me, lupus is not the best path to that at all.  

But anyway it is great that I have had five years since figuring it out.  And I have eaten almost normally.  But the medicine problems for psych meds were not a happy thing.  And why the abuse, I just don't understand.  Is it to prevent some kind of survivor guilt? I have said before I don't agree with that.

But anyway maybe that is it.  I just don't think it is.  I think there really are nazis at the hospitals.

But anyway, time to rest a while. I like the new memes. I could post them but I just think I should do the wise thing and ask someone's opinion first just to guess reactions out there.

 Gice I saw a funny video which is a Saturday night live actress on focus on the family and she is just like she was on the show. So maybe that will be my cast in heaven when I do sketch comedy. I mean I am not trying to assume. Maybe I will have different buddies but I think that is my true genre when I don't have depression.  I think that would also mean I won't be a guy but I will be myself the way I am now but not oppressed.

So anyway, that is interesting. Gice today was kind of an off day with not much done. I made two weak videos, attended mensa, which was nice, and talked to my friend Philip. That made me feel a lot better and I think he had ups and downs lately too.

I guess I could have called two other phone a friends. But I don't know, I think it is okay to be more normal with phone a friends and not have a crisis feeling to it all the time.

So anyway, does anyone have any thoughts about the recent events?

I think I need to call my friend Liz.  I think I will do that now.

 Hey everyone, this is Refried. Thanks for reading my blog. I had a rough month and it is described in the next thirty posts or so. My skin had two infections and some other random splotches as well. It is probably from lupus. It is weird to have another disease and everyone is in denial but possibly some people have kept an eye on it.

Something unfortunate is that I got bullied for three years by mental health workers and my medicine got messed up. It hurt my health and I went in the direction of diabetes. But we reduced the offending medicine and wow it’s magic, I am ok again. I am still on 20 mg of the offending medicine so I wonder what would happen if we fixed the medicine back to where it obviously should be.

Anyway I am thinking of walking to the 7-11 area to get a calzone. And I could pick up corn chips for a corn dip. But that would be salty so I am not sure that is good. But I think it would be a good use of four groceries plus chips.

I just feel like the medical people let me say mrsa mrsa mrsa mrsa publicly for a month when it is not mrsa and it is probably from lupus which was aggravated by stress from people who did it on purpose. 

Gice I think actually there might be a spiritual battle component that I have assumed was already intervened upon and it isn’t. Like there is going to always be opposition to everything I do. 

Did you guys see that lawyer who made himself known when I told Karla I thought it might have been from the hospital? Like he crept out from behind the corner two feet from me with his little lanyard. What a loser. The hospital factor only helps my case because those bullies are doing the same abuse.

And why was that lawyer there? Because he knows we do have a legitimate case against them worth 500k in a better society. And guess what. You will pay with your reputation in classrooms 400 years from now. 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 4:54. I just took out some trash and looked for a missing medicine. I saw the tube of trisulf ointment when it went out of sight but I can't remember where it is. It might be between the bed and the wall. I think that is where it is.  

I will try again to find it later. Just in case I need it. I just am not sure this other stuff worked.  I think it would be gone by now. But it is lessened. And then I am not sure I trust the sight unseen assumption about the left arm. I think if the right hand is mrsa then the left arm is another patch of it.  And I got it because the germs are still in my room.

But I also think I have skin problems because of lupus and the Latuda aggravates it and everyone thinks that is okay and it is not. And you think it is okay that you were trying to give me diabetes and it is not.

What is wrong with you people.  I guess I will rest soon. Will I walk to Starbucks or is it asking for trouble. I mean you could say what good would come from a walk to Starbucks other than some racial incident.

Anyway I will rest soon. The good news is my a1c is back to normal and my blood sugar too. I mean what a bunch of bullcrap it was to be overmedicated. I think I should protect the medicine and move away if they try to hurt me again.

But gice I think the muciproxin is working.

I tried calling a friend but the phone did not ring.

Well have a good day everyone.

 hello everyone, this is Refried.

I went and got the aquifor for my other arm.  I think it is a sign that they know it is lupus.  Because that is for general skin problems. And for skin that is hungry for something so it eats a bacteria.  And my skin wants minerals.  So I bought some Honey Nut Cheerios as well. I am so happy because I used my OTC card successfully. So that is good. Soon I will apply the auquafor.  I also need to mop the floor soon.  Because another resident bled all over the stairwell and elevator.  And I think they didn't even call 911.  Maybe after he left the building.  They told him to walk to the hospital. I called 911 too. 

I need to acclimate myself to less care as if I did not live near two hospitals and an urgent care.  They are racist there so I need to not go. It will just cause more problems. So online only.  Maybe go to ER at 68.  Honestly I don't trust them totally anymore either. I don't understand this process and who it benefits.

But anyway at least I have a doctor but there seems to be something about it where there is a built in argument that you don't deserve a doctor.  So we create a wait list effect for a student.  That is satisfying the heart appetite of a right winger.  I mean why are the doctors so compliant with that.  Maybe because they are the ones being cheated by the socialism.

It is actually maybe a little bit worse than just plain socialism. But at the same time, the taxpayers are paying for medical care. So maybe I should get a taxpayer to sue when they try to make it equivalent to me not having care. I mean I could do that now with montifiore.

Anyway this is a skin disease. I guess we will see if it is lupus. I mean why so slow I do not know.

And yet I think maybe Dr. Rojas did know it was lupus and that is why she was paying attention to the ears so much.  Because of kidneys.  You think I don't know but I do.

So anyway. I think this cream for the other staph is working okay. I think it is on the three day success and not 2 day.  If it is not okay in three days I might pay some people a visit.

Well, I am not doing that much other stuff right now anyway. I could go to the grocery store or something. But I can't eat that date appetizer because of my food allergies. So that is sad. I mean I knew that was a thing and they were like how do we say this, we don't care.  We care about one thing which is defeating whitey and you are the only whitey we know right now.

 hello everyone, this is refried. I think the of course you don't have lupus game is over soon. 

I guess I need to read up on it. This is probably a flare. The anxiety, the skin, the fatigue, and that headache symptom a couple of weeks ago with a neurological effect too.

It is classic.  So that is what the low iron is about.  I just think a colonoscopy charade is inappropriate. like is that what has to be ruled out before you can say what is obvious.  I mean come on.

Like we have to do something invasive before we acknowledge what you told us five years ago.

So anyway, I just don't understand. It reminds me of schizophrenia.  like how people think I am supposed to have no rights. People with lupus are supposed to have no diagnosis.  And it is once again really about the autism.

I do feel better about the skin stuff because of figuring that out. I mean wow I told the last doctor that twice. I mean there was every opportunity to investigate it but we will wait until you have a deadly skin infection.

Is it going away. I think it is but I still have some worries but I see how this antibiotic is enough for now and then we can do something more aggressive later if it doesn't work well enough.

The other issue is that some of the health problems are from Latuda or the other extra antipsychotics prescribed as a response to the abuse from 20-30 racists in mental health or health jobs. Your solution is to make me take more medicine, and it has clearly damaged my health. And you thought no one would notice and everyone would side against the schizophrenic autism person, but God has shown you to fail.

The correct medicine is 600 trileptal and 1 mg rispderal.  And anything else hurt me. Your trazodone, your little add ons to medicate your medicine, your monitoring of my skin because you ruined it, I mean I do not know how you people keep a straight face. How you let me seem dirty with mrsa when it is your treatment that is dirty. Your notes, your records, your career, and your life.  Just disgusting racism is all you know and do. A mob of racists, busted by God in front of everyone, and still trying to peddle your lies and poisons.

And soon your main task will be giving people their euthanasia medicine. It was what was in your heart all along, to destroy people's lives and get paid for it. It will be celebrated in universities as the answer to the police brutality against black people.  The people who get all the tax dollars from grants will give their self righteous presentations praising the mass euthanasia of all the disabled and depressed white people in New York hospitals.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I took an atarax as prescribed by Dr. OuYang. Thanks Dr. Ouyang. This is almost a week after it was prescribed, but I thought it could help me breathe better and maybe counteract the new itchy spot on my left arm.

It is causing a slight throat tickle making me have to cough a little bit but it is not out of control. Also the breathing is fine. I don't feel that much less anxious. But I don't feel bad anxiety either and am not worried about my breathing.  So it might be helping my breathing.  Frankly when I take a clonazapam I feel suppressed breathing which is a risk.  But it does help with the anxiety which messes up my breathing in its own way.  So possibly it is about time that I started relying more on an inhaler.  Dr. Parik prescribed a new one and I have it ready to use sometime.  Probably I will use it soon because of all the recent asthma and anxiety.

So okay.  There is something else to say. They tried to tell me to get tested for colon cancer but I believe it is not colon cancer. I do not know if anyone already cracked the code and they just are waiting for me to say it.  But I believe it is Lupus. And I told people that. I told them it was lupus.  But low iron can be from lupus and so can skin problems. And skin infections can also happen more with low iron. I mean maybe everyone thinks I was slow with google myself. Kidney stuff is also from Lupus.

But this left arm itch is driving me crazy! However I believe it is from A-1 steak sauce that I ate three times in a row when tomatoes give me excema. I have not scratched the itch all day and it has itched constantly.  But it is probably not mrsa.

However the right hand thing probably is staph again. But it is happening because of low iron. However it is interesting to look around to try to determine causes and see what was out of whack and I was treated like crap at a hospital and had an obvious deliberate problem at housing.

So do people find this funny? Because I mostly don't. But I am kind of relieved. It is because of that Indian food I ate. It was really spicy, I got fatigue, and before you know it, I have a skin infection. I had the headache too, and the neurological symptoms. I mean are we just going to play around with this like it is a fun guess the lupus game for 7 years? Isn't it sweet that Ravneet was the first to know about that?

I am actually a textbook case for this stuff.  I have autism, I had a super immune system that helped me have 12 years perfect attendance, and then I was tortured and my autism was traumatized and now I hum to myself, have asthma and food allergies, and my immune system attacks me. We have a lot to go on as a culture and I just wonder if the autism advances are happening.  At a faster rate there seems to be revenge on white people, starting with the vulnerable.  I hate to say that on a fun lupus post, but I think some schools cannot be trusted. They are creating a new juicy narrative to satisfy people with bad heart appetites, while the truth is more and more obvious as a national devastation for all.