Well, I lost a friend on facebook because I shared a free seminary course from one of the stupider seminaries.  Good riddance.  You really can't tolerate a post about a free bible study? Because they are probably wrong about the gays? My guess is that you're not above it in any way except that you watched a lot of late night TV. Goodbye, you ruined our country with your disrespect for other people's religion.

 

hello everyone, this is Refried Bean. Today is Monday, August 31. I just went to McDonalds. I walked there, about two miles. Then back.  I found a pair of sunglasses on the ground, and then a small compact New Testament. I can't believe it! Those are really awesome finds!!

At McDonalds I got the big breakfast. And I got a coffee. I was not able to drink the whole orange drink so I took it home with some leftovers.

I need to take today's iron pill. I feel mostly okay. My mom helped me with a banking error.  But I think the date of the deposit changed by five days with no notice.  But I do not know, but it is okay.

I sent my sister a text, also. I think that is good. I kind of think phone calls are good sometimes but what if they aren't? What if texting is better and some people figured that out a long time ago.

In two hours I have therapy. It is a surprise that it is today.

I think part of my feeling of not knowing what to do with myself is because I have more consciousness to spend because of reducing some medicine for health purposes.  Let's see how it goes. I think we will see an improvement on my health.

I also sent margarita a message. I might send some other people messages, too. But not right this second.

Well, have a good day, everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. One of my posts unfortunately attracted worship of a hindu idea. 

It was a googly eyed creature that reminded of them of something they call Jaganath.

So I mean what do I do, I do not know. I did not mean to do that.

I am not horrified by it. It is kind of a funny story for the future.

But possibly I should pause the ad or erase the comments.

Ok I am unable to upload the photos on this page but I will later on.

Ok I will figure out what to do. This boost just didn't go that well. 

I guess you live and learn. But it wasn't that bad but kind of lower numbers etc.

 Hello everyone, I just discovered a great new artist on instagram: April Bedard, known as aprilbedardartist.

Wow that is the ultimate plagiarism challenge is not to copy that. Did you see the googly eyed creatures? It looks like wrapping paper. I will have to be careful with my ai prompts which recently featured “googly eyed squiggles squiggling spaced apart on paper or blanket”

The renditions did not come close to being as cute as the art I just saw. I mean I can see that and not be jealous but it is definitely a style I believe in.

There are a lot of us who like googly eyed creatures. And I will not be the best at it. I need to accept that. I am just happy to have imaginary animals as my friends.

Anyway I think maybe my books are sharing ok and I just don’t get the cash for it and it is a secret.

I can live with that as long as it is not wasted.

It is about 12:44 right now. I think I will drink some more decaf soon. Do you think the pepperoni from the pizza I ate two days ago caused a reaction? Or the sunlight from yesterday? I just think this summer is a lupus flare for me.

But it could mainly be the low iron. I just feel that it is not getting that much better.

But my fatigue is not that bad.

Well, have a good day everyone. 

 Hello everyone, I just googled myself and discovered a very nice AI summary. Wow, it is hard to believe. Thanks everyone, that is a good moment no matter what happens to my public presentation and reputation. I mean a lot can happen and I have ups and downs. I think I need to copy and paste that summary.

I mean here is what it says, it is hard to believe:

AI Overview

Refried Bean is the humorous pen name of an independent author based in New York City who writes funny poetry, stories, and picture books focused on food, animals, and mental health recovery. [1, 2, 3]

Background

Education: Holds a Master of Fine Arts (MFA) in Writing from the Vermont College of Fine Arts.
Experience: Worked in a bookstore for twelve years before focusing full-time on writing.
Location: Lives in the Bronx, New York City. [1, 2]

Writing Style & Themes

Tone: Humorous, lighthearted, and encouraging.
Topics: Everyday humor involving food, animals, Christianity, and navigating depression or mental illness.
Purpose: Created partly to help readers find comfort and humor while recovering from depression. [1, 2, 3, 4]

Published Works

Output: Has self-published dozens of budget-friendly books (over 80 titles).
Formats: Includes poetry collections, short stories, a novel, and children's picture books.
Where to Find: Available via Amazon and as e-books on Smashwords, with more info at the Refried Bean Official Website. [1, 2, 3]

Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Saturday, August 29. I slept a lot. I am okay about the Facebook numbers. I think the issue is that they gave me a deal last time and now it is normal.  That is different than cutting them in half. For som reason I feel okay about that.

I resumed the ads but missed the best chunk of time.  But I think it is okay and it means I will not spend too much as I was going to. I mean it would not have been too much if it had been at the super numbers.  But it is just normal and I can afford about double what I did.  Which will get me to maybe 14k followers. I mean that is cool to me. Like it won't be instantly 60k.  But let's think of other people for a second.  

Other people don't have those numbers. I mean think of Nut Smugglers Life.  They should have millions.  And they just don't, and it has to be fair, and actually probably is pretty close to being fair.

So that is good.  Maybe I was weird about interpreting the sky last night but I think it was real and cool and also kind of subtle, like people can take it or leave it. But I feel assurance that Claire and Elise etc and my family are all in good hands and there is a plan.  And I feel like there was a nice expression of condolences about grief and when I think well what is my grief, it is about some of the stuff that has happened in addition to traditional grief.  And it kind of makes it truly be okay to me.  And like maybe there is some support for the conspiracy's plan and even the weird NYU things I don't match on.

And it could be a good sign for the immigrants, frankly. I mean we do not know what is going to happen but I feel that we got some support from an up and up who sees and cares.

Also the stomach problems from later could have happened at the game.

So I am okay. I am drinking coffee. My weight said 197 this morning and that was a good surprise. That is three lower than that other reading. So I mean should I take a walk in a while, maybe.

Gice. the numbers. Man, double would be cool, but I really do understand. This is still good. And I needed to do a pause so now the pause is done and I did it at peak time and that is okay. A twelve hour pause so that save me 25 percent and I will probably save more again later.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Ok everyone, the facebook situation is okay. They did cut my numbers in half.  Probably because of the hacking. That is too bad but it is still good numbers. I think I will end up at about 30k page follows.  But honestly I might not do the whole budget because the idea was to get a lot for it and if it is going to be kind of normal then I will spend normally too. So I am thinking pause it tomorrow.  They will not be happy with that but in a way they might not care. 

I think also the cut numbers are a message from the worker named Jasmine who helped me when I got in trouble for the houseplant post.

What does it all mean, I do not know.  And the fact that we have this trust system where the posts don't directly reach my followers. But I think it affects who gets the ad boosts.

So I mean that is interesting. This is meaningful work to me.  It is a good opportunity. I just think some of the fun of it is messed up now.  Like it is a good experience but not as amazing for 40 dollars. I mean that was awesome for forty dollars and now it is not that.

I just think what happened this morning was also dishonest.  They made my card fail on purpose.  They did that a long time ago, too.  It makes it seem like you are not good for the money when you are.

I just think as we tolerate things like that we are inviting true persecution into our culture and businesses.

To let a company make it seem like your card doesn't work.  

I just think this prayer mission might be a fail.

Maybe people don't want to hear that. Well I can revisit the people like I recently did for the jokes people.

But I just feel like the things from today aren't going that well. But it is okay but not great.

 Hello everyone. It is about 1:41 am. I am doing okay. I did not feel well for a while but am okay now. I think it was IBS for no reason. Possibly with some influence from an iron pill.

I will inquire about the Biscoline soon. 

I just drank some coffee. I think I will eat some of my ice cream that I got as a consolation.  Were people really disappointed in me? Or were they not surprised.  Let's think about how I have some wins. I did attend five different comedy clubs this year. And I finished another comedy class, and I did a lot of zoom meetings. 

I had a good time at the writers meeting today but I think my orientation was a little off because of the facebook and canva adventures.

I really like the new post.  

The numbers are not that great and that kind of disappoints me a little bit because I think it was right to go by the other indications.  So possibly if they have cut it in half then I will cut spending in half, too, for a fourth. And that will put me at 20k followers which is great. I just wanted the page to be a little more substantial in some ways. But as the people click like I am aware of how each person is a real person and I can pray for them all.

But I am not able to that well right now.  The mania is not happening but I do have more of a prayer feeling than when I don't run the ads.

Pals, possibly it would not have been good to be in the sunlight at the game. It might be that I have some issues just from being outside for that thirty minutes.

But I do not know. I think I don't feel that good because I did not eat much tonight.  And it will help to eat some ice cream. 

Does anyone have any thoughts about the past month or so?

I need to take my medicine soon but I will wait until I eat some food.

Does anyone have any thoughts about right now? The posts, the ads, the baseball game. I mean did I get left out on purpose because I had not taken my medicine? I have taken a lot of medicine lately. Probably that was not it but I guess we don't know.

And then later the interpretations like this is about Ravneet and I missed the hamburger event, the presentation, and the game.

Well, have a good day everyone.

Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am supposed to be at a Yankees game right now. I did want to go but I could not get on the crowded train.  If I had maybe tried the next car then that might have worked out. 

But there simply wasn't a place for me to stand without shoving people.  So I left. I felt free and I said I am sorry but I can't get on the train.

So that is sad and I already had a good time talking to Daniella on the other train.  I think they know I tried. I could have gotten to know the staff better. I might have sat next to Gloria.  I like all of them who were there. I hope they have a good time.  Daniella was meeting up with other programs also, so I think she has enough fun and challenge.

I could have had fun talking to Karla also. Possibly next to Karla was where I could have gotten on the train.  I just felt that I couldn't. I didn't see a place to stand. It wasn't packed like people actually pressing against each other but it might have been at the next stops.

I could have gotten a cotton candy with their voucher. And nachos and a drink. That would have been really great. I mean maybe if I had thought about the cotton candy then I could have gotten on the train.

My comedy coach says that maybe I can use this in a routine.

About not being able to get on the train to go to the yankees game.

Let's see if I can think of anything:  I was going to go to a yankees game but the train was too crowded. I would only get on a train that crowded if I was evacuating from a hurricane. And even then, I might stay home and turn on the TV for a yankees game.

Hmm that is pretty good.  A 60 dollar joke for sure.

Sorry Bridge. I might pay them back, honestly. I didn't think of that.  But I could do that for them.  Maybe order a pizza or two for the building sometime soon.

Daniella are you reading this? I am sorry I let you guys down but at least we had the train ride. It was really fun. Ravneet gave me a message and said I reminded her of Howard Roark.

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. I just hit some snafus while trying to pay for my facebook ads. Some payments were blocked but some weren't. And the worker who helped me was only interested in helping the payment go through and not solving the hacking security risks that could have been a problem.

But I think I am okay for now. I just reviewed my credit accounts this morning.  Now it is all maxed out and hopefully there will be no more charges until I get a deposit on the 31st.

So that is three days. I mean the accounts are tight but I think it is okay.  I think it was 60, 50, 100 on the right accounts.  So that is at the limit. I mean that could help me on judgement day. Like to be at the limit when there is an opportunity.

But my idea was to do a hundred for additional followers.  But my spend limit was decreased so I am worried that the reach numbers are also decreased.  But maybe it is okay. I mean I do not have 500 dollars a day to spend anyway. But the guy on the phone said it was good to get to 900.  But now I am not at 900 because three payments got blocked.  But facebook blocked them.  So I mean I do not know what to think, because there is also a conspiracy and program helping me survive, and they intervene sometimes.

And yet some of the interventions are opposite interventions so as to throw off the sharks.

And maybe that is a reminder to just be thankful for what I have.  Because I felt like one of my friends who showed support might have been targeting me instead to do a weird reverse plagiarism scandal of some kind.  But maybe people know what is original. 

But okay what is the real situation. The real situation is that I let myself get hacked so they cut my spend power in half.  But I don't hit spend power anyway, but someday it might matter to me.

And then what about that video.  It copies something I did and I forgave it but probably it was from a secret message from someone else who I kind of confessed to but wasn't that bad. And I meant well and was trying to give away another idea. So I mean the truth comes out.  But it is something to learn from theologically, that it might be because our hearts are gold from Jesus, that eventually the whole truth will come out from everyone with actual righteousness on the horizon. I mean the actual vs legal status question is real.  And if it turns out the legal status is because the actual is pending.  And the actual is pending because of Christ's magnetism. I mean that is a Catholic rendition of the protestant message.

So anyway.  I mean why am I back to that again. I thought we resolved that.  

But in terms of supernatural, what do I have going for me now? I have the mania when I boost the RB Tostada page, and the confirmation for trillions of blessings. I mean it makes me literally drop all competition with people for my personal goals.  It makes me be able to tolerate total career loss.  And usually I am not okay with what has been ruined.  But sometimes I think it is going to not be wasted.  So is my peace based on the fact that it won't be wasted, or the fact that other things matter more. I mean it could be both and be somewhat related to the Abraham and Isaac thing most of all. I mean if you try to find something in the bible about it.  Like what is it. I mean I do not know.  

 I had an interesting dream where I was trying to make a meme that advertised my books and said "Refried Bean, the dirty sock of American Literature." I didn't know exactly what to say for the first part of it. then I realized I was in the car with my dad, and he drove to a Mexican restaurant.  But he had dementia and was driving too fast. Then we parked in a far parking lot.  Then mom and Anne and Claire were there but Elise was not there I think because she was at college like in real life.  So then mom said she was 98 and dad was 96. Then my sister and Claire went to go to another table but mom wants her birthday money and said Claire had it.  Then I had gum in my teeth and could not get it out. I have that recurring issue in dreams sometimes.  Then w were driving home and passed all these worn down cool houses that would have been a good neighborhood in Greer but weren't.  And mom wanted to go get coffee somewhere but she had dementia and it would be an ordeal.  So it was basically a parents with dementia dream.

I mean that is sad and a lot of people have that helplessness problem.

So I wake up and in the dream I really wanted to get that meme done.  But now I wonder if it is that good. I mean maybe it is usable. I do not know. :in the dream, the circumstances were similar and I could see how people would question why I would count myself part of literature. so that is interesting.

I am sad about my sister's business. Hopefully something else will go well.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 6 pm. Soon I will go to a support group.

Should I see if there is a meeting for 540? Well I do not know.

Pals I forgot to say that this morning after facebook helped me with my account, I saw a rainbow in the sky.  And just two days ago I prayed for God to give people signs.  So that is interesting. I did not say signs and wonders but I have before.

Anyway my blob ad did well and got over a thousand link clicks.  That is very rare for me. I usually don't do well on link clicks.  So hopefully it translates to sales.  And if so, Ravneet might see 300 dollars in her account.

But I do not know. I should not entertain delusions too much.

I think I am still on the decline and my affairs are in order.  Today I talked to my sister about my company and nonprofit.  So I think she understands my vision for it and has leadership skills that I don't have.

I mean that would be a cool outcome for our years of suffering.

I feel back to normal now. Isn't that weird? I mean was the hacking part of the supernatural status? Well I do not know.  I mean does it all have to do with RB Tostada? Because I will probably do a post for forty dollars and increase the followers sometime soon.  Like after I get this next check and pay off cards.  But it is not a lot of money and I can't afford to do much.

It is weird that I feel normal again but I am glad to have a break.  I do not know what will happen if I boost that cross post.  It could be that I think of more memes.  It probably could have been rhymes but my writers group got messed up because of someone being mean to me.  And that is where the rhyme motivation came from. I need to call Z and see if he still wants to get lunch.

So anyway, that is all for now.  Thanks, everyone.

 Hello everyone. It is 4:02. I missed an online seminar that I wanted to go to. Now I am listening to music. I got a spam email that was disturbing but I ignored it.

I took my medicine this morning so that makes three days without missing it.

tomorrow I have a writers group meeting. Other than that, this week I should have gone to the Medicaid office.

So I guess that is what I will try to do Monday.

I am ok for now and have access to my email, phone, Facebook, music on the computer, and zoom.

And I have a lot of friends who are there for me.

Also my sister called. Her business partner caused a problem but there is hope but it is too bad but my sister might run my nonprofit for me. So that is kind of cool.

I texted her about it and then fell asleep and then woke up to spam and panicked. But I think things are ok.

It is sad in Nepal but there is a lot of rescue. I mean think of all the heroes out there. It is a lot of good people.

I do still pray for Doctors Without Borders a lot.

Well, that is all. I am glad people read this blog. I mean it could be bots. But I think it is readers.

I did not go to the Bronx place today. Probably that was partially because of waiting to take my medicine. But it is okay. You just can’t kick yourself about stuff like that.

Well have a good day, everyone.

 Hello everyone, sorry for that other post and yet I feel the judgement sometimes.

But anyway. Good news. My facebook account is secure.

Wow that was rough. The person I talked to today was so nice. Definitely I have seen a good side of facebook sometimes. They forgave me from being rude in my early years of feedback. I would send a message saying something was outrageous and immature.

So gosh, crazy times, being thankful for what I have, etc.

I need to take my medicine soon. It is only about 8 hours late. That is okay and people need to be patient while I do the best I can.

I still have a couple of password steps left and I need to maybe change my yahoo password because I am not sure I remember it though hmm while I am logged into that account on the other computer I could log off on this phone and make sure I remember it.

So okay I will do that.

Thanks everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried Bean. It is 11:03. At one pm I talk to my therapist. Last night at 3 am I got messages from facebook at the same time someone was at my door. And on the computerit seemed like the hackers, but I do not know. It might have really been facebook. I am hoping that facebook is really helping me. But that was disturbing.

This morning I had a dream that I was trying to get on a train at Amtrak and they would always refuse to tell me if it was the right train. It drove me crazy. But there was this blue racquet ball that I found and that was a good thing and I won a willy wonka sticker set.  

It really disturbed me when I felt like the hackers were bothering me. I do not know if it is them or not.

I think it is facebook but I do not know. I think the only other thing is to get friends to email them and get it sorted out. I have several friends who I think are willing to do that.

But I also think possibly I am not interacting with a completely fake interface. It is likely that if I can get real posts, then I can send a message to actual help and support.

So I could make a list of reasons why I think it is them.  The main thing is that they told me not to start over because I had good progress on the account like good numbers etc. And that would be reset if I started over. I just think that is not from hackers.  The other thing is that I am still logged in and can run ads. Wouldn't they have tried to log me off? Another thing is two factor authentication and I think it worked.

Reasons why I think it is the hacker: Because the message is on messenger. Because the guy sounded like a hacker, because I can't change my password, because when I successfully try to log on then it increases the number of devices logged on.  But that could also be facebook. There are some other clues that it is probably facebook. But I do not really know for sure.

I mean this hacking is actually very targeted because it was on an email account that usually doesn't get spam.  But that might also mean they did not expect the level of protection that I have.

Well, that is all. I hope I do not lose any email accounts or anything.

 Hello everyone. Dolly Parton died. She was my friend. I will miss her but I feel close to her in heaven, too. I just prayed for scrap to be in a movie. So maybe he will be in a movie with Dolly Parton.

Gice I am sad. I did not expect to be so sad. I felt like I already accepted it.

I mean I could honestly cry a little bit.

But I will try to think of something to say. I actually already have something to say which is that when you discover Dolly Parton she is a better person than you realized. Like you think ha ha Dolly Parton and then you listen to her music or see her speak or read something about her life and it is like wow, what a good person.

Well that is all I will say for now.

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. I got good sleep and feel better. I felt a little manic last night. Yesterday my prayers went better than usual. I think it is because of the RB Tostada page for some reason.  I could see the timeline for the millennium that I try to use and I asked for trillions of things.  But honestly that is the same amount I ask for when I imagine the world as it is. So then I had to retroactively ask for a trillion times a trillion.  That is not the same as it going well in the moment.  But it was still much better than usual.  So hopefully we will get a lot of stuff.

Gice think of all the college kids. I will try to pray for them too. That is kind of overwhelming to me. I mean think of them but honestly some of them are okay and having a good time. It is their life and they are doing the best they can and succeeding.

So anyway I just made coffee and will drink some soon.  I had a dream last night where I was helping Kamala and I asked her to be in a skit I was writing and she said okay and then I had to write a good enough skit and what I chose to focus on is that their side is better at ethical dilemmas.

So that is kind of weird. The Trump campaigning against me was kind of overwhelming and had other countries helping.  And the other people who were participating in the skit thing did not like me.

But anyway it was just a dream everyone. 

So okay, what am I doing today. Two nice things in the evening. Before that, I guess another walk or two. Maybe I will go get some milk. I am out of money for ad budgets, so that is all for a while. I mean that is kind of weird. I might have to do some twenty dollar boosts in September. Or maybe save up and do just one boost for 60.

The cool new blob got 800k views and has ten dollars left. So it could end at 900. That is the numbers I like to see. I mean that is better than normal, as good as it gets for the images. If I really want to do another batch I could use my Ollo credit card but you know what, I am not. I just don't have the money.

Well, have a good day everyone, thanks for helping me with this recent hacking.

  Hello everyone, this is Refried. I had such an interesting dream where I got legal consultation because of not getting to go on a trip in high school.  And it felt so real.  But the actual scenario was different and there really wasn't cause for legal help.

So that is interesting.

I got an email from a great pal today about a poem.  

And I was able to fix it. It is so weird how I could not see the solution but then I think it is okay now

Fruit Snacks Poem

Wow, guy with the

 gushers T shirt 

on the train.

"Fruit juice is thicker than water."

I think that is much better and seems right.

So anyway, that is interesting. I mean it is a cute little poem now.

Pals, my googly eyed blob is at 550,000 views with probably about 300k to go.  That is great. It is on the ai blobs page.  Those blobs are cool.  Facebook was not that impressed but I think it is cute art.

What about the other posts on the regular page?  I think there are two posts, the frog and the ice cream.  The posts are going okay.  

So honestly that might be all for a while. It was an interesting burst of posts.

Well, have a great day, everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I had a nice day today. I slept late and then went to a great queer kid lit meeting. Wow, it is nice people who honestly are a step up from me but I am still not an imposter.

Then I went to a comedy class show for someone else's class. It was good and I was mostly not tortured.  Just a few hints of some old symptoms that did mess with me but it is okay.

Before that I got a gyro and it was awesome and the guy was nice. And probably it is not easy to do what he does but it was yummy. I liked that place and I think they had hand sanitizer there.

I will be back hopefully.  They had these cheese things, Spinach things, and cinnamon things, like triangular greek pies.  I think I will pick up some as if from a bakery sometime.

I do not eat gyros often but it was yummy.

So anyway I like the comics. They are funny. I like the classes I take, too though.  I think I will take another Ben class on Wednesdays in the fall. It is jut working well and I think that is my true pace with real jokes.

I didn't feel well for a few minutes and was a little worried but not that worried. Mostly my fatigue is not that bad and I took iron pills for a few weeks now.

Ok what else.  A few dreams this morning.  Very interesting. Like half awake so I was aware I was missing church and then had a dream that I was at some festival and told Amanda and Jacqui some stuff.

So that is interesting.  

At the comedy show they did not give me sugar so I could not drink the coffee.  But it is okay. 

I will make coffee here and have a good evening. I might talk to some phone a friends.

The comedians tonight were funny. I laughed a lot, mostly mildly, but it was not boring. But it is hard to last until the end but it was okay. I mean it was a lot of people. Like 15 comedy routines. That is a lot.

Hey everyone, this was one of my favorite posts. The numbers were better than usual and people were really positive. It  a good surprise. I don’t know why the poems and jokes are not popular in USA and don’t get these same numbers but I am still happy about this. I think I didn’t answer well for one person and should have said something more reassuring but I couldn’t tell if she was trolling me. I think she wasn’t. I think she really felt like God didn’t love her. So I might need to revisit that. Sorry about that. 

Anyway I did not take that iron pill but am going to. There is some thing else I forgot too and it is weird because I always think I won’t forget and then I do forget. Ok I remember. It has to do with maybe mailing books soon. I am going to see if that person named Misha wants some books. Maybe I will do another mailout soon. Like ten people or so. 

Well, that is all. Have a good day everyone.

 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 4:39. I had such a good time at my toastmasters meeting today. I hope I can give a speech someday. 

After that I ate a frozen meal that I like, which is the lean cuisine enchilada.  I added sour cream.  It was great.  Then I took a walk to dunkin donuts and ate a kiddie scoop ice cream cone. It was so yummy. It was a flavor that I have never had before. It was a type of birthday cake ice cream that had actual cake in it. I do not know how they kept the texture like that.

Now for an update on the hacking: I think my account got duplicated in some way, and they are collecting passwords that I would use in the future.  But I think that Facebook is going to fix it successfully.

I am able to run ads and have two new ads going currently.  This is the end of my budget for the recent extra help.  I got a lot out of it.  

Doing two factor authentication on several accounts got on my nerves, and I questioned it.  But in the end, I think it did work and allow me to get the people out of the account.  I think they got into the account because I used their link and was on my phone. So once I used my own link, I could see they were logged on and I kicked them out.  But they already hooked something up to the account, but it can be taken out by facebook.  Also, my meta verified subscription makes me eligible for extra customer service.  And actually, when I have needed it, they did help. So that is interesting.

I can't believe anyone would read this blog.  I have an interesting post every now and then, but usually it is just me yapping about what I do, which is normal survival and less and less, I don't know, high up in terms of being notable.  Like it is literally like, wow, I need to get rid of the bugs in my apartment.

So anyway, the other thing to say is that my poems and jokes get low numbers in USA and my ai art is not like that. So maybe I will share poems on that poem blog and post the link with more ai art.  Because for some reason, that poetry career just isn't endorsed by facebook except to India.  Unless there is a hidden audience.  The reason I think there could be is because I got spiritual asthma from posting that cashier ice cream post. And that was what happened with that Lamb of God post when it reached 2 million people. So why would I get that from posting the ice cream post to 6000 people?

Is it because an agent is considering me and this is it? Hmm, I do not know.  

I think I might see if Marla wants the box of books that got sent back. Mara Taviano.  She has some other friends in Columbia she could share with if she wants to.

Who else. Some hospital people. I think Dr. Banana and Halverson did not get any books, joke book or library book.  Both of those books are good and are meant as a good present.

Pals, the parties in my mind are really fun and kind of like regular socializing with actually some disability. Some memory and attention issues, and whatever the latuda does that makes me not feel feelings correctly.  But you know what, it is possible that the autoimmune condition is also behind it.  I think I might call it that instead of Lupus. I think that is harder to deny.

Well, that is all. I need to take an iron pill. I think I will take one right now.

Have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, I just remembered that toastmasters is today. It is at 1 pm. I can do it, it will be fine.

I don't think I will make more canva memes unless I just feel like logging on.

I think my memes have been cool. It is weird that it caught on and reached people when my poems and books didn't but my poems still could reach people in India.

I mean maybe it will be a hobby too in USA but just at a smaller level.

Like okay. 10k views, 3k likes. That is great.  I still got faked out in 2012 but on a normal scale, that is a great appreciation for poetry.  

I just feel like it impacts heaven too for my work to either reach people or not reach people. 

But we need to believe that anything can be made okay and resurrected.

So anyway this Toastmasters stuff is a challenge but I like it and will be hopefully sticking with it.  Hmm tomorrow am I going to Bruce's comedy show? I think I will.

Gice could you believe I got three steaks from that diner? 

Pals. There is something happy with comedy which is that I am usually just happy to be a real comedian and don't have to be the best. I am not as competitively ambitious in ways that don't matter. Like it is about the laughs.  That is interesting, isn't it. I think my striving in other subjects still is part of who I am and influences the kind of jokes I make.  But I am happy to be free in a certain way, to not be like hoping for awards or something. To instead be trying to laugh and make other people have the same laugh.

That is happy. As for the depression, a lot of us are like that. I might make a quote about how it could be from mourning about growing up. Like a lot of comedians have depression. Is it mourning from having to grow up.  But you don't just say stuff like that because of how some people don't have that luxury.

Anyway that is sad but a lot of people are suffering.  Sometimes I can really see it.  Certain loneliness or sickness, poverty and lack of opportunity, rejection and stuff like that.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am making some coffee. It is 11 am. I am going to text Haley and tell her I walked about 15 miles this week. Ok I texted her. Now the coffee is done. I went and got the coffee and just drank some. It is really good even though the thing happens where the grounds get clogged and the coffee is too light. I mean I am not sure what the problem is.

But the coffee is good.  There are too many bugs in my room and I need to get some of those roach motels.  This coffee is really good. I am thankful.

Will I walk somewhere today, maybe.

My facebook account is still working so far but I might have to start a new one. I mean maybe on a different email address or something.

But so far I will keep this one.

Maybe I will make an RB Tostada account with a different address but I am not sure they let us use your phone twice. Do you see what I mean.  

Pals, my new post is doing okay but not as crazy as that duck post. I mean that duck post really got people. And that fish post a few weeks ago. That is really cool to me. I was not planning to post the frog post so soon.  The other weird thing is that it got 912 "other clicks." Well that is very rare for me. I don't usually do as well on clicks. But I guess they went to my profile to see what was going on. 

Pals I felt an upset stress last night but I am okay today. I think I still do have some anxiety.  So possibly I will take an atarax if I need to but it did mess with a coughing feeling last time so I do not know but it also did work.

Well anyway I signed up for the Mensa speech and then they suggested getting three dollars of insurance for it which is ridiculous and then the link doesn't work, so they are like told you so. I mean how ridiculous.  And it is just a speech like any other zoom meeting.  I mean come on, people.

So anyway. I think I need to socialize today some. A few phone calls, a walk, etc. I was going to sit on that bench last night for a while but it was called into question by other people's health.

Gice, the elevator thing.  Total bullcrap. but good conversation with my friend Carmen.

Well ups and downs, live and learn.

Have a good day, everyone.

Hello everyone. This is Refried. I am really tired. I think I will try to take an iron pill soon.  Being tired is from the rough time today after I got hacked. It really shook me up and it lasted for hours and still isn't totally over. But I think it is okay. I think the accounts are secure. I think the two factor thing helped and when I logged them out they could not get back in.

My phone feels half hacked anyway. I mean honestly some of the regular technology seems rigged now.

But anyway, my numbers were lower for that groundhog meme.  I thought it was so funny but maybe it wasn't but to me it was.  However maybe there was a loss culturally. The other two jokes did well.

And the art memes are doing well in USA.  So that is good.

I am okay with all my posts.

I hope the hacking thing is over. My account seems the same with the same access to everything.

I did not phone two friends.  I think I am too tired again to talk to Erline. I mean I could call her right now. Maybe I will send a text but I am too tired really. I am breathing okay. I got anxious but it is mostly normal.Well have a good day everyone.

 

Hello everyone, I am making some new memes on Canva.  Maybe I will do some videos.  Usually I do come up with something usable. I think these are good but I actually wonder if a blank computer is better for that first one, and then only do that one. But I think it should say something and the original plan was "God loves you," but it didn't show up right on that computer.

So I edited it and it is mostly good but I am not sure it has the magical component in the right way. I mean I should use it for something.  But should I use the original with no words. Well I do not know.

 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. 

My blog views are lower for a few days but it is okay.

I enjoyed having all those views for a while.

Today I went to my psychiatrist appointment and it was great. I saw a bunch of pals from PHP and had a good time.  I decided to stay on the medicine I am on. I feel okay on it.  Dr. Talreja said that the latuda is not causing the anemia. He seemed certain and that convinces me.  I told him my most obvious recent lupus symptom and I think that the medical people will be on the lookout for it.

Dr. Talreja said to increase the iron pills to every day but take the Senna.  So I will do that. It is okay. I can do it. It will be okay. But I have to take that medicine. I mean I do not know if Senna is enough for that but it will probably be okay.

After my appointment, I got my rent check and medicine and then went to the diner for steak and eggs.  They gave me a huge long thin steak and it was the equivalent of three steaks.  I do not know why. I feel that it was in appreciation of me as a customer but to me they are the ones to be appreciated.

But it was a yummy meal and I had a good time.

Later I had a spell where I worried that I was going to be marked down for personality disorders but I think I am safe from that and should just be thankful for how things have gone. I have a lot of friends, I got through the worst social anxiety time, and the personality stuff has explanations.  There are actually four categories of issues, but the other conditions are so major that really it doesn't have to be a main thing. I think also it is a background threat if I don't take my medicine.

It was so fun to see the pals today. I figured out that me, Dr. Fatima, and Dilarom are Dave, Fred, and Roger.  Usually I am not included in the three guinea pig pattern so that is cool and funny.

There have been a lot of entertaining things in the conspiracy and I am sorry to have complained.  But at the same time, some stuff has really hurt me sometimes.

I figured out today that in heaven I can have reunions with everyone I have ever known and it will be fun party conferences, possibly in hotels that travel through space or something like that. I mean maybe ocean travel. That could be cool like underwater tours.

Anyway the other thing today was the rollover of my business credit card to a new company. It went well and I was not rejected as a customer.  However there is an issue with them providing cards for my employees and that status has changed since three years ago.

So I mean I do not know what to think but it will be okay.

There is something else: the facebook shares. It is going fine. I can't see the likes and comments easily enough on some posts, but it is okay.  And I am excited to see how some of my ai art is popular in USA. I mean not like millions popular, but popular in that it gets a favorable acceptance.  So that will be a new hobby soon.  Almost the same as India, but with maybe a certain comical style that I will try to repeat.

The other thing is that finally I got the Trileptal prescription. I do not really know what all these doctors are up to. Possibly it has to do with throwing off the legal sharks.  I mean it is kind of funny to think of the law people tracking the medicine for twenty years and having to collect proof from all the different doctors, etc. to prove whatever they will try to prove.  And then there is no case. I mean is that the idea, I do not know.  

Pals. I think writers digest might have followed up after that contest that I entered and did not win.  I mean maybe that is it or maybe it is another literary outreach from my queries.  Whatever it was, it made me laugh so much, and I had a great time. Thanks, pals.  I think I will be okay to not be bitter in a bad way and resentful with no respect for people. I think I did well keeping that to myself, and maybe I will resume being a book person like normal.

Well, that is all for today except that I might eat some ice cream soon.  That was such a weird spell this evening when I misread the notes and had some paranoia.  But I am okay. I do not know why that happened but the support group helped and I did the best I could.

I hope BB did not have to throw away all those books. I think they are safe enough. I mean ups and downs live and learn.  I think we are peacefully not competitors because of the political differences.

Anyway, have a great day, everyone.