hey everyone,

This is Refried. It is 4 pm. I made some coffee and took a shower. I am watching a replay video of a good presentation and I finished listening to music on YouTube. I made a new meme today and I think it is pretty good:

I really think there is something to this idea and what is in the Bible and how people bring life experience to it too.

But anyway I am glad I had a free day today. I thought I was going to have to leave my apartment because of a bug spray thing. But it is tomorrow. It will be ok. My friend Delores suggested going to the library. So maybe I will give away books in the park tomorrow and then go to the library.

I need to bag up stuff so it doesn’t get ruined by the bug bomb. I can do that soon. I will go downstairs and ask if they have any bags.

I need to attend to my credit card accounts. Possibly I will work on that at about 9 pm.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 11:37.  At 5:20 pm I left for comedy class.  So this was about 6 hours.  That was not that bad.  I suspected that the commute would be harder than last time and it was.  But it was not that bad. I had a hankering for some chinese food but bought some chicken fingers at Canes.  Then I kind of wanted to give them to a subway person who I knew was hungry but someone had told him to be aloof so I could keep it.  I am thankful for that and I feel that it should be credited to him as a really good deed and maybe someone else will give him some vittles.

I saw two neighborhood acquaintances and then gave some chocolate cake to one of my food buddies. It was a happy thing that was fun to give.  Like a huge slice of chocolate cake that is really about three slices.  So anyway I do feel some problems from low iron and need to take a pill soon when I take my medicine. But I am mostly okay.

I think something is going on with the 6 train that I question but hopefully service will be back to normal soon.  But the thing is that it isn't.  There was another sign today about Oct 23-26.  

I read a good poem on the subway. Honestly sometimes the poems aren't that good. But I hope a lot of people think to themselves that they could do better.

I feel some supernatural emotion sometimes and it is nice. It is still kind of constricted but good emotion for nice reasons that have to do with writing, bookstore memories, and caring about judgement day.

I am happy to have a draft of my comedy routine done. That is cool but Ben thought a few jokes needed to be edited and I am not sure I want to leave off certain things. I just felt like it was pretty funny the way it was.  But I think he might be right about some of it. Like a few things that were questionable.  It is not that easy to get feedback in front of everyone but it helps you get used to being on stage. It was kind of crazy how this afternoon I was suddenly able to write a few new jokes and organize everything.  That is how it always is and I am thankful. 

Well that is all for now.  Tomorrow is going to be a challenge and I am tired for tonight but I think I will take my medicine at about 2 am.

 Ok the secret messages are saying I was scapegoated by scapegoats and it is not a game.

Yeah I can kind of see that.

But I think possibly some of it is a spiritual descent so I can pray for purgatory status people.

Anyway that was a fun movie night. My friend Angela from comedy class did something thoughtful which was prevent an awkward moment ahead of time.

I think some ai scammers want to email unsolicited advice and then charge me if I read the email. 

Probably stupid to say this before a torture trial but I will form a militia over that.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday, Oct 20. I feel okay today. I did not feel well last night. I felt the low iron feeling and mental spaciness and exhaustion.  

I went to the doctor yesterday and told her that I felt that the low iron problems were different at different times but I felt some memory and attention problems that were worse than normal because of it. I think that is true and it really is a feeling different than before where I am kind of like wow I could really be disoriented without much warning.  And yet it kind of is just almost there and not really that level of out of it.  But to not really be able to finish thoughts sometimes is a thing. And I did not explain it well to her. I told her I was having trouble completing daydreams like I couldn't follow the story line. That is TMI for her or my blog but I don't know how else to say the difference in the amount of memory issues I have.

So anyway I am eating a calzone and will make coffee soon. I mean should I go to starbucks. I do not know. My weight at the hospital was around 199.  It could really be 196 or 197. I think that is ten pounds down and the next ten is the real kicker,

So anyway have y'all enjoyed my facebook posts? It does help me recover a lot. I can get almost back to normal instead of triggered. It is not happy to be in a triggered state and it can hurt your life. That is why I am standing up against it. It must be stopped as a go to practice for no reason except power and bullying.

Anyway I am working on a parody idea of a story, what do you guys think: 

 Hey everyone, today I signed a contract disguised as a receipt at a diner. It was worth a lot but I lost the ten million dollar deal. 

But I think this is a good next step and a lawyer witnessed it and then another lawyer is defending me against the student who I made a comment to by accident talking to myself at NYU.

Then I got a chocolate cake and the people on the train let me keep it.

Now I need to take my medicine.

I will do that any second but it is not easy.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Monday, Oct 19. I have a doctors appointment later at 1:40. So I will leave here at 11 because it takes a while to get there. Then after that I think I will try to go to the bank for a rent check and to pay back Dan for a consulting session. I did get interesting info but my lawyer helped me see a different path. It has to do with nonprofit status.  Dan said there is a program you can sign up for where they are allowed to get the donations on your behalf without you being registered. But my lawyers said to be very cautious about accepting donations as a sole proprietor or LLC.  All of that is very valuable to me and I am not going to mix it up with donations right now.

I believe I am being escalated again but I am taking my medicine according to the prescription.  I told Dr. Talreja I could not longer tolerate the latuda. And that was after asking him to change it at the prior appointment.  And I do have extra risperdal to take if I feel that I need to. I take it almost every day and Daniella said I could miss a dose sometimes, and I also have a status where I am in charge of my medicine.  So no one should be escalating me, and certainly not law enforcement when I have done nothing wrong.

Last time there was a fire drill, I had that spiritual vacuum cold feeling I get when the holy spirit leaves because of the mistreatment.  And I wonder if it is because of the firemen being part of the problem.  But I don't know, but they were mean to me when the bacon set off the fire alarm Saturday.  Both of them were mean on purpose.  The female turned around and walked off when I was telling her something, and the guy told me I had to unblock the window when it doesn't even open. Then I went to Starbucks and a cop was rude to me there in a provocative way.  Also the fact that they were there at all might have been one of there things where they drive up a car near me and sometimes do a beep sound. The other thing about it is that I can tell if I am escalated because I feel mad and despairing about housing, the Bronx, and being tortured until I die.

I feel that there might be some intervention from outside people and those who abuse me are going to be held accountable.  In fact, I think the elevator report already resulted in consequences this summer. But I am feeling fear again and it is not fair. 

I think if I lose housing in December then I will fly to Poland and fight in the Ukraine War. Have I already said that? I can't remember if I have.  My back cramped up yesterday because of the stress when I felt like I could not safely sleep at night and had to wait until 5 am. 

I think soon I will request an entire rent refund for the whole five years.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Sunday, Oct 18 at 11:42 pm. I am eating a chicken and cheese sandwich.  That is good for me and I think I eat less sandwiches than the average person.

Anyway I might not post the two questionable memes at all. I mean maybe I will, but I think the feeling might pass and I can save it for another time. Possibly I will show a friend or two but maybe not.

So anyway I think this was a good creative burst and boost.  The memes are doing well in India and Africa, and I can pray for people and ask for forgiveness based on my awareness of the abuse happening.

One of my ads doesn't have good numbers and I really think it is bullcrap for facebook to give me an estimate and then the real numbers are a fourth of that. But I kind of think okay, if it starts out at 60-80 per dollar and increases as a continual ad, then maybe it is not that different from usual. So I will see how it goes. I mean I think it is something I won't pay that much attention to.

I don't think God is going to snootily say "I guess your ads didn't work," on Judgement Day. And then add that I wasn't blessed because of personal sin. I think that is what some people want to happen, but that is not it. I mean we know that, don't we, from the other supernatural aspects of all of it? And yet sometimes I am fooled and feel like crap.  But I think that is the thing I never fully learn is that God is not a crappy snooty snide snobby loser like a lot of people who have snubbed me.  I mean he will say their names someday and point out that he wasn't like them at all.

In about two hours I have to take my medicine. It will be fine. 

Well, that was an interesting adventure this weekend wasn't it? It was supposed to be a fun conference, but it became all about surviving more emotional abuse. The weird thing to me is God really doesn't like it so why are they doing it? He shows himself opposed to it every time. I mean what are you people thinking.