Ok gice, I think the review went well.  The cover design is like the craft issue, like I made my choice to be very casual to the point of questionable grammar.  And they can't just tell people to buy that book when some people are getting low reviews on things that they did go pro on.  And can't I appreciate that? Yes, I can.  And they knew I could take it. They figure out what the person wants.  They know I want the words that mean funny, and they have given me like ten words to quote: funny, quirky, odd, eccentric, humor, comedy, amusing.  I mean that is good and I don't know all of it because I haven't actually tried to do a promo yet. I already gave up on that.

So anyway did I hurt anyone.  Well I do not know.  I mean frankly some of these blog posts could be valuable to some people.

Gice.  I think I should try to get some less professional reviews. But that was helpful wasn't it.  Still something to think about.  Like what if I did edit some stuff. I think probably not.  But they said the exact issues.

So okay. I mean what about the title. I hope no one copies me.  

The short story with the museum idea is something I wrote in 2005.  The copyright precedes anyone else's similar ideas.  I think some people know this. Also it is in email somewhere but possibly my converse email.  I think the Nance semester was also a backup on that.

So anyway, does anyone have any thoughts? I was already identified.

Well this is enough of that, isn't it.  I am sorry to be immature.  However, sometimes, this is it.  Like what is the thing, this is the thing.

Time to eat the food for dinner.  Does anyone have any thoughts?

I was not really giving my phone number to be flirtatious.  I just felt like I should give contact info. 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Thursday, April 23.  It is 4:40 pm. I talked to my therapist and she thinks the review was good.  I mean I barely even used commas in the book.  And they were mostly nice about it.

So I think I can be thankful.  It is just a process like it was last time.  I will probably post the review on my facebook page and a link to my blog.

But not yet.  I might do an instacart order but I don't know.  It is almost 5 and I have a nice meeting at 6:30.  So I am doing okay.  It is time to count my blessings.  The mild covid is getting better and not worse, my review was okay and had positives, I didn't get swindled, people have helped me a lot as a writer, some work did reach a lot of people on facebook, I am alive and survived thirty years of mental illness, I talked to a friend unexpectedly today when I needed it, I have food and groceries, no problems like suffering kids I can't take care of, shelter that is mostly stable at least for now, and internet access, microsoft word, and I am not addicted to anything.  So that is good.  I mean I can feel the blessing and the message from God to be thankful for what I have. Like to the point where sometimes I don't know. 

Like that other kirkus review was higher praise than I realized.  And yet I can also say that is is kind of high for me to not have been happily published and be treated as a career writer instead of a wanna-be.

But that is going to be plenty clear to plenty of people.

So anyway, I am also thankful that my therapist made me feel better. She told me that I need to take my medicine.  She thinks I suspect things have to do with me when they do it to everyone.

I think she thinks that about Barnes and Noble and they are going to face a lot of responsibility for what they did to depressed people.  But the idea from the conspiracy is that they did a lot FOR depressed people, too, as long as you didn't work there.

And yet I did get to stay there and the assistant managers were nice.  So I mean I do not know.

Okay, that is a tangent.  I have a lot of disorganization. Kirkus liked my book.  They had to say it as they saw it.  The drop in ranking proves the brain damage and dementia and will be used as court evidence in the torture trial.

 Gice really I am okay and I like the review in a lot of ways.  I essentially got a 4 stars out of 5 and a 3 stars out of 5 if it was organized like that.  My issue is that I think really that is a 5 and a 4.  And why can't it really be like that.  Why is there a gap.  Corners have to be cut and truth is compromised for that to be how it works out.  And you think I don't know but I do. And it happens through vocabulary and what is absent.  But I am happy to have a nice summary on the page. I think over all I think I got a lot of value.  But I think there is a slight abuse factor where you take a pretty harsh hit personally.  And people are right when they say, why do that to yourself.  And eventually there will be a review service where people get the positive feedback for something they did that was positive.

 Here are the review links:

https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/refried-bean/donut-novel-imaginary-mice-series/

https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/refried-bean/sparkity-bonkins/

Here are the two songs: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-1fwZtKJSM&list=RDTNwhnnJ2-nw&index=3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNwhnnJ2-nw&list=RDTNwhnnJ2-nw&index=1

I think another issue that is making me have the experience with it that I do is that I don't know the purpose of kirkus and assumed it was a straightforward honest review.  But it is actually a system for some people to get discovered. So in that way, I bought a 400 dollar lottery ticket, and receive a more negative review of my book that is really optimal. And in that way, I am not paying just 400 dollars. I pay 400 dollars plus some of my career reputation for a shot at something that has probably already been decided by my current status and biography.  I mean that is the worst that can be said about it, but they also chose to say the worst that could be said.  And who is paying? Me, twice.  Once with money, and once with my book.

 When it is time for me to give the feedback to kirkus, I am going to tell them that they are like my unpleasable gay-hating father.

I see online that they are known for being hard on authors, but I question a system where we accept that from people.  Like as an industry, is winning that lottery of their acceptance is so valuable that we are all going to let them kick everyone else around? It is about the truth and about kindness.  There is a place for generosity and positive regard in the world of reading, and I just have to say that it is ludicrous to let the people who get paid compromise on that but tell us we can't do something unusual with narration or characterization.

 I think the other issue with both reviews is the missing mention and support for the hints of mental illness or at least neurodivergence.  There is some representation in these books, but no support in the reviews, and that could account for the proportionally one notch lower than accurate reviews. Like with all the categories of people who get supported, we are still holding out on mental illness because wow we have to wait and see what happens with public opinion.

The best you can say for my depiction of an anxiety disorder is to call my novel frantic in order to counteract your use of the word "funny." Any actual praise is compromised on purpose. I mean honestly it is hard to believe.  For people to be able to see some of the system behind it and how you just won't spend an actual compliment.