Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 3 am on Sunday, March 15.  Soon I will take my medicine.  I think that soon I might be allowed to skip the latuda and only take one mg rispderal and 600 trileptal.  I do not know why housing hurt my life on purpose.  I just don't understand.

But anyway I am tired now. I just need to take the medicine and eat a granola bar and then go to sleep.  But I can stay up late if I want to.  I am starting to feel some fears about my trip but it will be okay.

I mean it is just a train ride like normal. I will pack one bag and I won't take that much with me, maybe literally one change of clothes. And then a grocery store bag for if I get food at the train station.

I mean in a way it might be fun. I am taking a trip. That is fun. It is just not that easy because I also need to email the social work people and it is possible that there will be a snafu.  So maybe email all the certificates to myself in case I have to use a different computer.  I could do that now.

So okay I will do that.  Gice I am going to try to give more books away. I am at about 150 for the year so far. That is good and I might hit 500 total at that rate.

Gice I hope my life changes soon and things get better in a certain way that includes income.  But I do not know if that is the plan.  I just don't know what will happen but I do sometimes feel like I might have gotten most of my stuff done. And yet there could be a whole year of mice videos ahead of me.

Gice do you have any thoughts.

Hello everyone, it is Saturday, March 14. Also known as pi day. I should be praying because I did find a good prayer window with a lot of overlapping people and needs but I got upset about something and was going to come rant on this blog but I actually like those people too. I think I need to think through that some and they might think they have a final word when they don't.

But anyway I decided to get up and type a while. That was fun to do the videos and I will do more but I think something funny is that I expect most of my videos to be very simular to what I already posted. Maybe I can branch out a lot with the mice and have plot scenes that are very specific.

But anyway who doesn't like a glitter bear. That might not get old.  And then blobs. I mean this might be the way to keep blobbing after I started to think I had already imagined all the possible combos.

Ravneet, are you reading this? Hopefully I will be doing better now on less medicine. 

I hope my books sell better soon. I think the idea was to protect the creative process.  

People say why be upset about that and not that. Well I do not know. 

Ok everyone. A lot of people are really having a hard time and have stresses and risks that other people don't have. And a lot of people might go to hell. So okay. Let's pray for people because you just never know when something is going to come from the side and fix that thing that you felt you had a lifelong fight against. 

Ok.  That is all for now everyone. Gice I think my status is the same. Audience is the same. Budget is the same. Gice it was a green light on praying for cash for people. I will do everything I can. Gice I think we are going to get a lot of rewards in heaven. Like almost everyone we can think of is going to get stuff.

I mean am I the only one who wants that? I think some people also want food and shelter. I am like that and did officially ask God to let me opt out of torture and have comfort and food.

So anyway. Gice.  The train trip.  I can do it.  The blob book. Late. It is okay. monday I will mail a few books to people. Then keep some here.

Gice sorry I did not do well today but I kind of did because I made videos.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Saturday, March 14. My video that I boosted eventually did share, and I shared a glitter bear video, too. So that is cool and I will keep working on that. I think I will keep doing still images on facebook and videos on instagram.  That is a fun hobby. It seems that I have to pay to share but the numbers aren't that bad. I will probably share to India sometimes.

It is taking me too long to get a good rendition of the dark purple blob in the silver maze. I should not have to generate that twenty times for a good one when they are perfectly capable of doing something cute. But it is okay and I can be patient. I posted one that is not perfect and has white stitches that are too reminscient of teeth.  But it is still cute.

I mean I think for one thing, get the idea out there, and then I can do both of those series, the glitter bear tunnels and the blobs. So anyway, I like this technology and agree that it is a gift from God. I mean I almost feel it for me personally, like someone like me who just for some reason never got it going with the art software suddenly can generate a cool rendition of any idea I ever have.  

I am going to try to do some mice videos also. Maybe some squirrels, but I do not know.  Maybe some mice eating supper.

I just need to not be too lonely. I mean maybe I am fine.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone. It is 12:05 am on Saturday. I have an exhausted feeling from making just a few ai videos. There is one that I really like and I boosted the post.  But it is not reaching anyone yet as far as I can tell.  I do not know why but that gives me an unsatisfied feeling.  But I am kind of okay because I at least did boost the post and it says it will finish in three days. I only boosted it for ten dollars a day. That is not much.  But I see no views.  So then I wonder if it is running but I can't tell because it is the conspiracy protecting me. But I feel that it is more likely that facebook is torturing me.  

I think I will do some more blob videos eventually.  I mean maybe soon.

I had a long day.  But it was mostly a good and easy day but without much exercise. I will take medicine around one or two probably.

I think another option for sharing videos is to share the youtube videos on facebook. I do not know why I haven't thought of that.  I have only thought about how I don't know how to share them on youtube.  So maybe I will send around those poem videos sometime. I do not know about the cooking videos. Maybe when it truly feels like no one cares anymore.

I listened to good talks today.  It was nice.  I had a good day. I am just tired. I am kind of mad that nyu didn't confirm canceling my appointment monday.  Because really I need to skip one and I don't have any more money for it. So I will try to figure that out. I just feel like I told them I wanted to skip but they are planning to charge me and I should have notified them today but i notified them Monday.

But anyway what did I eat for dinner today? I remember. I ate potatoes.  Maybe I will have some orange sherbet as well.  I had a good time at the child abuse presentation today. I forgot to ask about emotional abuse.  But it is okay. It is kind of weird. I think they might not have shown the right law.  I mean something was missing. I mean they said the abuse had to cause a risk of death and I just think abuse has a wider range than that.

Anyway I am going to attend one last presentation tomorrow and then I will be done for a while.  I hope my trip goes well. I will try to visit with some friends when I am there.  I really was hoping things would turn around with cash at some point but it seems to not be happening.

The tech conference was really good. I learned a lot and can see why the tech field has done well. I tink people don't need to live in too much fear that they are going to be featured in inappropriate videos agaisnt their will.  But maybe we don't know.

Well, that is all. I think I will find that video and post it myself on facebook.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Friday the 13th.  I am trying to prepare for inspection. The sink is next and a pan I used for fish sticks. But that is almost all that is left to do. Maybe sweeping.  I talked to Karla, my case manager yesterday.  She got promoted to director of the building. Wow I believe she can do it. It is not that easy but she will be great. She is keeping me as a client.

So I am taking a five minute break and then I will keep cleaning.

I am listening to a podcast. It is great, I did not plan for it in my day but it helps me stay sane in a day that is hard because of inspection plus this mandatory training that I can't be unattentive for.

But let's not freak out. Because I just take the trash out, clean the sink, sweep, and that is about enough.

What about mailing books. Maybe to Flynn. Maybe let some people wait but get some of it done.

But I do not know. Maybe the theology fellas are helping me get stuff done.

Ok break is over everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 9:23 pm on Thursday. I had such a great day today. I got good sleep, went outside when it was cool, took some books to some nice people, had a good therapy session, watched a good conference and saw a good person from ai rejoicing in the exact great way. I mean that is why God has blessed those people, is because there are people with that attitude in the mix.  Wow, all the people were actually cool, so I am thankful I got to listen to some of it. But the way that guy said this is from the Lord, I mean the main thing is that you just pray for everyone to have that relationship with God like that. 

Anyway, other people said good stuff too. Soon I will see the finale. Gice God is doing a lot of great stuff at this turn of the millenium and he has included so many people and provided foils as well, so you can be blessed for not being a part of stuff if you got left out. And how he loves the 80s children. 

Ok three minutes until the livestream. 

Ok I will revisit this soon.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I just took some books to my PCP doctors office. It was not that easy to walk there but it worked out great. So that was five books for them this week. Next time I will try to bring some for the desk people.  I feel like everyone wants a joke book now but don't you gice think a poetry book is cool too? I just think Horizon Cow will always be a book of choice.  I have given away 300 copies plus one hundred each of the books inside it and 100 joke books that use the same jokes. So we are looking at around 600-700 books out there from those jokes. I mean are they that funny, I do not know.

So anyway, okay. It is warm in my apartment but I feel good. I got good sleep last night and this morning.  I saw the sunrise and think I might try to go outside more often to see the sunrise and sunset.

I drank some more sparkling grape juice and some coffee this morning.  Possibly soon will be some more orange sherbert shake. I need to cook some potatoes soon too.  That was actually the main expense and I hope it is worth it. I mean if I am going to spend 30 dollars on potatoes with cheese and sour cream, it is possible I should just order thai food.

So anyway I need to write down that I gave two books to the thai food people. I mean the Joke Books are still a giveaway favorite and yet wow I feel like a certain window has passed. I also kind of question the low quality graphics.  Do you guys have any opinions? Hmm I do not know. Also, should I do a black and white edition and reach more people with giveaways?  It would cost about 10 dollars instead of 20. I do not know if that is worth it. Like full color for just double. Hmm I do not know.

Well anyway, giving books does make me feel better. I need to mail Flynn's books and GSYK. And recieve this next order which wow was not as much as I originally planned. But it has four library and five joke. And then only three horizon cows. I mean honestly I almost just canceled it.

Gice what do you think about my train trip.  It is Wednesday. I hope it goes okay. Life is hard for a lot of people. A train trip isn't that hard for me, I just sit in a seat.  But in a way it is not easy and I wish I was visiting in May.  But it is okay. 

Tonight I have inspection.  Clear floor, do dishes, clear counter, make bed, clear table, tidy, put clothes in cart, probably not laundry this time.  That is not that hard, I can do it.

So okay.  The other news is that I might be regarded as not having capacity to do an advance directive. That is an interesting development.  I just think I do have competency for that and can make a list of very specific health requests.  But anyway that is interesting.