Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 6:35. I just took my medicine a little while ago. I should have taken it sooner.  But I had a crazy dream where I was taking a sheep on a trip and before you know it I was helping people walk into a muddy green area and we got stuck and it seemed supernatural.

And I thought I might have gotten hexed in some way by someone I prayed for.  I still feel like there is some spirit bothering me and I don't know what it is from.   Or a curse or something.

But anyway I need to go downtown today. I think I will leave at about 8:30 unless I fall asleep.

I just chatted with an American Express person because they are making me do paperwork to change my name and I already did that two years ago and they did not change my name.

Now it is a problem for me and I told them they had made it too hard for me and I am disabled and can't do things twenty times. But they said they need my social security number.  And they are making me mail in a form again but I did that two years ago and they told me to do the license process online instead and I did and then they didn't change it.  

So I told them it really hurt me that they wouldn't change my name.

Then I heard back from someone in my writing group.  She said she did not perceive one of the people as bullying me.  I think he does bully me though. I think he did call me a name last week. 

So I might just skip this week at the group.

So anyway I will go to Fed Ex, the bank, and CVS. It is not that hard. Just take the train to Astor Place.

Leave at 8:30.  Maybe see if I can sleep for two more hours now.

Gice people think it was a medicine problem last week but it wasn't.

Drena is mad at me.  But it wasn't from medicine, people really hurt me.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. I feel happy because there was an unexpected part of my day where I did a virtual care appointment online. I talked to a new doctor for me named Dr. Sanapala. Kind of like “Snapple” which I sometimes drink at the Thai restaurant. And it is funny because my fatigue problem was from the Thai food I ate a few days ago. And I did not realize it. I thought it was from low iron.

Something else interesting is that I ate grape juice and Corn Pops while I waited and that is just too much like communion. I mean I am not trying to be a kook but it was kind of weird because in the waiting room I did invite Dr Snapala to Echo church.

So anyway she sent my prescription to CVS and hopefully that will go okay tomorrow. Walgreens was mean to me and makes me re ask my doctor for prescriptions when I don’t let myself be kicked around by their automated system. Their failure, their problem.

So anyway I am so relieved that the problem is familiar. I mean I didn’t even care if it was a bad disease but honestly the issue has more to do with not easily going to Walgreens. 

So anyway it was also funny because Dr Snapple knew that the “low energy” was the same fatigue as usual even though I told her it was different. I said usually I can’t walk to the grocery store and this time I could not walk to the post office. Like that is the difference between low iron and lupus. I should say food allergies but I think the actual mechanism happening is autoimmune. It is an autoimmune reaction to spicy foods.

So anyway I think I will email Becky this week and apologize for disappearing without a word.

Tomorrow I pick up my new book and I am glad about that. I mean it’s just like normal.

I need to reread the other two recent Bronx Combo books. Honestly soon there will be enough and I should not do more.

I think it is 8 from Manhattan and 8 from the Bronx.

I think people on facebook are tired of me promoting myself but I need to not read into only the troll who was mean to me last week. A lot of my facebook friends like me just fine. And I think we all lost each other because of algorithms, not because of self promotion and white supeemacy. I mean the more time goes on you can tell everyone just wants the same stuff: popularity and success. Only with some people they get persecuted for it.

But anyway I am sitting outside right now. I have sat outside a lot for five days. I like it out here.

Gice a while ago in my room I felt God’s love and as I remembered sitting on the benches at 180th street the sunlight came through my window onto my face and I think it was a message from God about me, my church, the heroin addict who I have the roast beef sandwich to but had that bad guy waiting to take it away, the gallbladder days, the hospital, the food stuff, like remember when I thought I could only eat fish and vegetables? And then today I ate fish sticks.

So I mean who knows. It is just weird because I have had a lot of signs like that but sometimes I feel like God is far and mad. But anyway I think the weather stuff might happen in relation to Middlechurch because do you remember that day when I was sitting outside near park view and the storm cloud coincided with something. It had to do with the church and I felt honestly kind of proud.

Anyway I didnt expect this post to be like this and I think this makes twice that I didn’t say something positive about Walgreens when some people were in fact nice to me and they are some of the most extreme heroes of our neighborhood but at the same time there is no excuse for some of the stuff that store has done to me. And making me have another appointment for medicine is an absolute outrage. I mean people could and should sue them for that.

Well, that is all for now. Tomorrow I have to go get a check, go to CVS, and really that is all isn’t it. Maybe Fed Ex for two things. I forgot what one thing is.

Gice I hope I can go to comedy class okay with the gate locked up now. Ok I think that was the other thing at FedEx. Gice is anyone mad at me? 

 Gice, today is Sunday, April 19. I just went outside and sat on the bench but it is raining a little bit. I drank coffee earlier and just ate jello.  Hopefully the jello will give me some energy and soon I will make some food.  I think maybe oatmeal might do the trick.  And some fish sticks.  That is yummy.  I wanted to go to McDonalds but it is too rainy.

I told Amanda that I don't think the conspiracy burned down our church. I gave her the phone number of the person who started the conspiracy. I mean that is all I can do and I think it was good self control that I didn't mess up their investigation when it was originally happening. 

But anyway tomorrow I will hopefully get a copy of my new book.  I think maybe I would enjoy reading more of these books in my free time.  But I actually have had some time away from making ai memes.  

I don't think I do that bad with my ai budget.  Don't you guys think I did okay? I just shouldn't be judged negatively for everything.

I miss Ravneet and hope she can go to some restaurants with me soon. Should I be looking at cookbooks? Was I wrong that the torture is over? I mean maybe they are still going to torture me.

So are you Gice thinking cereal is on the menu for today? Well maybe for dessert.

I felt happy when I gave Diamond the pack of cheese.  It made me happy. And I sent Amanda a message.

Gice are there friends I am supposed to be calling? I mean I do not know.

I miss my friend Lauren and I think she might have hurt me to document what Hannah did.  But to me it felt like she really took Hannah's side.

I miss Danielle too, Danielle Spector.  And Courtney.  Gice am I supposed to still be writing stuff? Like some imaginary animal scenes or something? I genuinely feel like I can't.

Well, that is all everyone. Maybe som new videos later for my bullying blog but I think I don't need to rush that and it can mostly be therapeutic.

Ok next up is books for MC. What should I send. I think she wants a copy of the mice books and then maybe Library Book, and then what, maybe some thin books. I mean I do not know.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Gice I forgot the epilepsy conference. I just didn't register when I got the email.  I thought I would remember it and Friday I did remember it wand I was like hmm I think I didn't register. So my weekend could have been very different.  I mean maybe I am not functioning well. 

Are they mad at me, I do not now.  I mean it was a light touch with the affiliation, and finally when the trains didn't go there properly, I missed it. Are people saying ha ha about it?

I could have said hello to Anli Liu. Sorry Dr. Liu. I wish I had not missed it on either year.  But I also have a sleep problem right now and have to walk an extra mile to get to the train.

So anyway I missed out but am doing the best I can.

Does anyone have any thoughts? I think I will send Marissa Hudson a note and see if she wants to get lunch soon.

 Hello everyone, do you Gice like my poem from yesterday? I think it was awesome. Like so stupid and reflects a real idea but also kind of not caring in a certain way.  And yet I did care.

So anyway, I got some sleep but not a lot. Probably about 6-7 hours. I mean okay. 4:13, then maybe 5, woke up at 1 pm. I mean that could be 8 hours. I dreamt I was volunteering somewhere with New York cares and I was cleaning a lot of stuff and I told them about my guinea pigs. That was what the main discussion was about.  It was sweet and nice to think about Fred, Roger, and Dave.

I can't tell if I am being sharked by someone and I don't know what it means. I feel that I was nice to that person and was a sincere participant in something that was obviously relevant to me.  So I guess just do as normal. I mean I do not understand, I really don't. Possibly the issue is that I became more public in the past two years with more christian themed stuff and some people are mad about public straightforward christianity that isn't themed around criticizing the south. Like maybe they think you either hate the south or are the south.

Well I do not know. I really don't.  But it is weird to lose three associations in one week.  Is it because of the recent book? I really think there is not much in this book that is relevant to anything like that. Is there a poem? I mean I do not know. I am not used to anyone caring about the content of my rhymes especially.

And possibly that was the role I did not expect was to have a conspicuous rejection from literally everyone. Just for people to generally hate me. I mean I do not know. Am I supposed to be talking more to phone a friends? I mean I do not know.

Gice pretty funny Sunday post from Nancy. I just think it was kind of funny. Like to me it passes as a sincere Sunday share. But maybe it is not a laughing matter but I think she is going to be okay and might be doing her part. Like that is what I genuinely think.

Well anyway, I made coffee. Should I sit outside. I mean I do not know. Is there a project I can work on? I mean maybe I should do some more art memes. That is what  facebook was saying and boost for less.

Well hmm I do not know. I am just doing one video right now and I feel good about it.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am sitting outside because it is cool outside and it makes me feel better. I feel fine I am just tired of my warm room. But it has gotten better but interestingly is still too warm.

I think I won both of the recent power plays. Because even though they lied to my face about the air conditioning, I believe my prior report meant that they got a visit from the up and ups and were found noncompliant. But it is sad because they are my friends but they made their choice. It is pretty serious to mess up a whole building of psych patients sleep for four days during every single season change.

So anyway I think my video page is going well so far. I have a lot more ideas for posts. I think I had videos along this line a year or so ago and did not know what to do with them. So now this is that and I think it will be a success to just share the blog occasionally.

I boosted a mouse video and I am happy with it. I think it adds variety. I am proud and happy to contribute to the wide world and perennially everlasting genre of mice characters and mice scenes. I believe it will also never get old in heaven.

I think I am not doing a virtual appointment tonight because I am ok for now. I don’t feel the low energy feeling. I think I will save that for when I also need a psychological boost.

Does anyone have any thoughts about missing the presentation today? I am sad and think I would have liked to give them one more chance.

However I think if this was going to be a charade like the church status was for so long except this time it’s my career, then no thank you.

I am thankful that I caught up on some sleep this morning. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight and be doing better. But I was okay today and was thankful for that.

I think my medicine is okay even if I miss a dose sometimes. Well, have a great day everyone.

 Hi everyone, this is Refried. The weather is great today and I am sitting outside. I feel tired and fatigued and it is either from low iron or lupus. I am thinking it is from the low iron. Because I haven’t eaten spicy food and it actually feels more like low energy than fatigue.

I am missing a presentation today that probably would have been really good. But I feel like I would actually be participating in a charade where I pretend that I haven’t already reached certain levels of writing. And I felt that would be helping the oppressors maintain their discrimination practices that keep me from providing for my family.

Anyway along those lines I started a new video page called bully chronicles. So far I have three videos and I think I can find more on my phone. Some of it will be a specific series called the question show where I discuss respect issues. And the rest of it will probably be about specific incidents. I wish I had this two years ago but I don’t think it is too late to revisit some material and it is going to be awesome.