Hello everyone, I am on the train, it is okay. I took my medicine so now I am sleepy I think that is good but I do not know, maybe i shoudl stay awake. The trees outside are nice.

Well that is all for now 

have a great day everyone,

 Ok everyone my bag is packed. I have an hour before I need to leave. I am waiting to get coffee at the Amtrak station. I might take an empty grocery bag with me. I am not taking snacks except for an orange drink in the bag. Because it is hard to carry that far. But it is not that bad. I will try to get a cab from grand central. So the issue is just to the train station here. This phone is charging at 85 percent. 

The smell in my fridge is still there but I just can’t fix that at this time. I wish I was taking those newer nice jeans but I have two khakis plus the jeans I have on. And three shirts. I need to brush my teeth and pack that.

I think other than that I am all set and can sit here for an hour. Does anyone have any thoughts?

 Hello everyone, I feel better. It is 8:30. My bag is mostly packed. It is not the best clothes for my trip but okay. Kind of weird how I could not prepare but it is okay. I am thankful I had good activities and it went well. I mean the toastmasters thing is funny how I winged it but I think it went how it was meant to go.

I will try to leave here in about two hours. I think I could leave at 11 and be plenty on time. Maybe people say hey it's not too late to do a load of laundry but it is okay. I just simply can't get some stuff done but am still able to take the trip. I have the medicine packed. And I have some tums. Hmm I bet I will have to use the tums. It will be okay. 

The last thing to pack is the computer and charging cords and then some food. But I mean even with the food I could do without but I think obviously I have some snacks. Possibly it was not good to eat tostitos for three days because the salt could give me heart stuff but it will probably be okay.

I feel okay everyone, I think it is easier to travel now that I am on less latuda.

I wish I had my comedy video but maybe later on the train with better internet.

Well have a good day, everyone.

Hello everyone, this is Refried. I thought of a funny joke: "Let's put God on the prayer list." or something like that.  maybe add, for his jealousy. 

Gice this was a key day with a lot of story shield elements and I can see how it is about other people like if Stn is trying to make a fool out of Dr. Fatima if something happens to me.

But I think I will be okay. The thing that kind of freaks me out is that I was half asleep and thinking how stupid I was for something and made this motion like braking my neck or snapping it and that was a thing from other key times, like when my neck got hurt the year I taught English, and then the resemblance of a day dream character with someone who broke their neck and then the torture program telling me that broken necks are common and you can see how that is something that evil knows to go for.

I mean that is scary. Because today it was supernatural and it was really internal down to the thoughts and resembled the Bellevue field trip. Because I felt the supernatural feelings, thought it was because of my own book, then imagined myself telling other people, and I was like ok it is not that, and that was not just advertising but a specific same place, and then now with the neck thing I think of jealousy and I was at Jacobi, but that is a decoy for North Central, which is conspicuously not Bellevue. 

And then how Dr. Fatima's office looks like a classroom.  And I am like "I am thinking about switching to Alzheimers because I don't want to be punished," And then "You don't have Alzheimers."  I mean just think of it, like if something evil is reading a book about this later as a time traveler and a clue is "You don't have Alzheimers."  "I'm proud of you." 

And how Dr. F might be one of the Ravneets in the game. I want to say "Big game" but I feel that could be another story shield element. And then here is the med school advertising thing which I think are careers successfully prevented. 

And how I said tonight in the toastmasters meeting, "This is my career, this is it." And Frances got hit but really Frances is obviously okay. They did it on purpose. I mean that is so scary! The whole thing was supernatural, everyone was okay and in the good feeling, but there is something else I did not say that has to do with Catherine.  And the clouds today were like the Mary clouds. And the thing that has to do with Catherine was so undeniably pronounced. The thing where I feel like I have to say, "It was God."  But it was about paralysis. Well what does that make you think of.  "Joni and friends." from the book Heaven, your real home.  Which has to do with Beverly Jameson who I felt like could have seen that I was on the wrong medicine.  Like that is the one person who I think could have said something.  But really everyone knew I was on the wrong medicine.

I mean what does it all mean. I guess it is cool, like God is victorious. Like why just suddenly fear now.

I think I live until I am 53. I think this will be a good trip. I am going to try to do my laundry very soon. Just one load for my trip. I have had enough medicine and am not psychotic but could have kind of gotten in a certain frame of mind today because of the good feelings.

And I need to sign up for the conference. And the thing where I say that at the hospital desk and it is so much like Barnes and Noble that you can't believe it.  

I mean this is interesting blog material. But I could tell that the conspiracy was getting me to write stuff to be discovered.  And now here is this post, which is just ridiculous. But that is the point. That was the true mission.  Utter absurdity.  And God wants to give us stuff and he gave me what I wanted which is manic depression and schizophrenia.  I mean that is scary too because that is like "Anne and Sarah." 

Do you guys see what I am talking about? A story shield. It is interesting.  Did other people think of this? Is it a common thing? I guess it is in the bible. 

I felt scared when someone knocked on my door but I am okay now. I just don't need to have anxiety on the train. I am tired but it is okay. I have gotten sleep recently. 

I think there are a couple of things to be aware of when freaking out about the story shield.  And that is how I do have a neck problem that has always stayed a certain level and could have been ultimate and wasn't, but instead just a chronic mild threat.  And my seizure disorder is also almost exactly like that.  So to me that is obviously in God's care.  I mean that doesn't mean other stuff isn't in his care when it goes dreadfully wrong. But any of my seizures could have been the big jolt that ended it all and instead it is all some kind of limited thing causing visions and not more visions than I can handle. And then the neck, wow, a close call many times, but so far hasn't resulted in certain levels of damage.

But anyway I guess this is some autistic self reflection, which is all over the books, but I think it is very interesting.  I also don't think this post is the point.  I think that what actually happened at Jacobi is more like the point.  And for me to see that in my mind.  And how I was still mistaken that it had a lot to do with myself when really there is a story that goes back to ancient times. I mean maybe that is the theme anyway of certain hospitals. And how I am still oblivious to certain levels of what happens in hospitals. 

And I feel it more with low iron.  The weak sick feeling that people have when they are not okay.

Well, anyway, that is all.  Now it is 5 am. I could go do laundry but I am tired and think I will do it at 6 am.  I could just not do laundry but I am going to at about 6 am.  

I am going to try to take the computer on my trip.

I just don't think I am a cult person but I understand how I did say JC a lot, possibly more than necessary in library book, but I think it is still a really good book.

Gice I feel the SCBWI feeling. Ok I will see if I can sign up yet.

 Here is a good sermon, everyone, about leviticus. I mean this is it.  The atonement.  

And I think Mandy did awesome, way to go, Mandy. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1oLE2d51Qc

And I think this is the one I liked by Steven about the bible:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Arzi98kNSeo&t=7s

That is all for now. This is a good church. I like their teaching. I think they are wrong about not seeing gayness correctly but they will probably come around and do not need to be harassed.

 Hello everyone, I feel a little bit better. I am about to drink some coffee. Then soon I will take my medicine and go to sleep. My internet speed has run out so now I might have trouble downloading the video.  But I think it is different from normal so maybe it won't be as bad. But what about toastmasters. I think I can upload the comedy routine. I can email Glen and Amar.  They are my friends and it is fun. 

I think the conspiracy is back in action.  I guess it was entrusted to new york people for a while. 

But didn't the facebookers do secret messages? I mean I guess we do not know.

Gice.  I wish I had internet speed but I used it up foolishly listening to music.

It is just that I was going to do the canva thing but now I can't because of internet.

It will be okay. It has not been an easy fall season or summer so now you have to see it as a whole year and what were the factors.  Karla, starting in march. This is the new northern segregation. only possible through severe emotional abuse. I sent a tip to the New York Post about it.  Did you gice know that?

Pals, here is a new photo. I like the lighting of it. They did that for the promo, too. It is a cool cursive thing. And a pink curtain.  Really cool. I think my appearance will be oaky for the video but definitely some facial expressions were off for the photos but to me this one is good.

Just kind of weird to have that random issue on my page but I guess it is okay. I guess some of the family stuff is on purpose. So it makes the BN people think they have a case.

I think it is weird that the whole Bronx is doing the re-enactment, but I kind of get it. Like people want the prayers.  So it is a big community project and different people are told different stuff to benefit from it.

Gice my friend Katie probably would have wanted to come to the show but I did not tell anyone in time except a last minute message to Suzan.

I just couldn't because of the abuse. So I guess that is part of the point.  Is how it affects other people and who is targeted on purpose.