Jacqui, I really like your post about whiteness. I really think you are in the heights of philosophy and theology when you write about white.

I am a half and half churcher for echo and middle.

For certain reasons that become apparent sometimes.

I am having some ups and downs at housing but in a way not at all because our elevator is shut down. 

It is good for me to care about people other than myself.

However some people have been misled into a conflict of interest with their service jobs. And this is going to hurt them and I will not excuse it as other suffering innocents are tortured, killed, and abused.

People make their choice and should have a learning curve and understanding about context and peer pressure. However some morality has already been established in history and the human heart. And if people choose the hypocrisy then they will have to face the sorrows.

 Pals, I lost a loved one. An uncomplicated relationship. My first MFA creative writing teacher. Nance Van Winckel. I am really sad and feeling sadder as time passes.

It brings back happy memories too and as I remember her, I can almost convince myself I am in my room during my creative writing program. It is kind of interesting how similar the arrangement of the furniture is to my apartment now.

I will post on facebook and the tribute page soon but it is going to take me some time to think about this. I am imagining Nance with the children’s book animals in heaven, and I think she is a special person there.

She came from a Presbyterian family but was atheist. I believe she is in heaven. She was really funny and something cool about her religious humor is that she didn’t make me feel responsible for her salvation. That is what some people’s atheism is about. It is about torturing people who care about their spiritual life. But I believe Nance was different and connected with me in a religious humor zone. It was very comical.

I think the school might have seen potential in me to be the punk evangelical writer who writes stories where the religious person goes to the strip club to pass out tracts and then scrogs all the people at one time.

But I did not become that. I stayed innocent and my books will be handed to teens from someone who was always a children’s book writer. I mean how cute for all of us. 

I will miss Nance Van Winckel and probably pray to her sometimes.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is July 24 at 3:37. I am not going to the hearing voices group today.  I just don't think I need to be at every group.

I have my next book ready to go but want to review it a little more. It is really good. Some people did not get a mention.  Is that bad or good, I have to think about it.

Also as far as who is going to be heartbroken, that is from their organization.  You supported it, you probably suggested it, and they were happy to do it.  And you set them up for mockery, to think their supposed greatness could be demonstrated through harm. 

I have said all my stuff and I have said it early, so I already named it as it unfolds. Monday I need to get my rent check.  I needed to do that today, but I am slowed down considerably by the abuse, which is the point.  But they do want that money, don't they.  And yet it weakens their argument that it is all charity.  So hmm, what are we to do but count on other people's racism and blindness.

Anyway I think they thought I would already post some stuff but I had more ideas, didn't I? Because it is never-ending as long as I stay alive. So as you try to escalate me, what is really escalating? Your abuse until it becomes undeniable in front of a crowd of God's actual people as opposed to your dirty supporters.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried.

The Bridge made me feel bad again. But I have two options to stand up to it and will do that soon. I got some good secret messages also.

Tonight I should cook the sausage. It is too bad I don’t have cheese but that is okay. I could cook the shrimp but I think I am going to cook sausage.

I don’t plan to get in a back and forth with the bridge. Just report every time. I mean this is what happened with the last racists. And they were sent away.

Should I cook the shrimp since it is easier. I think no. I think cook the sausage. At nine oclock.

And order the three books to send to Tristan. 

And work on the new project. 

The praying isn’t the same when I don’t have the posts running in India.

I am also going to have to say that some people want to argue that this kind of racism is what some people have dealt with their whole life. And for some that may be true but for most, guess what. I know that it is not true and that me and most of the people I know never did this to anyone. And it was quite the contrary from millions of people.

Anyway I could go on but I have already said stuff at other times.

Well, that is all. You want me to post that photo but it is going somewhere else.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Thursday at 10:50 am.  I need to go get my rent check but I have a few days so I am thinking I will go tomorrow.

I think today I will mail the books to Tristan from amazon. At about 3 pm.

Other than that I will try to clean my apartment some.

My ad boosts were a success.

There was a mysterious comment that was probably insulting but I think really the page is doing well.

I think I should do some more videos for the question show.

Today I have comedy. I might try to think of some more jokes ahead of time.

Well, have a good day, everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Wednesday, July 22. I knew today would be a kicker but I did not expect what actually happened.  I don't know if I should say anything about it.

But maybe an update is needed.  My report about the elevator was successful.  I do not know what the outcome will be, but my report was accepted an forwarded to a higher accountability.

So I think that is all the post for now on that page.

The montefiore people did not visit me at Grab and Go because they did not want to be featured.

I was a little pushy getting off the shuttle but sometimes you just have to go ahead and not be too excusing.

What else. I got some good snacks.  That is nice. I mean I got snacks at the hospital also.  

I have really been aware of people suffering. All kinds of stuff. 

So I am okay for now and need to email the comedy coach.

I will try to do that at about 6:30. I need to rest for a second.

 Hello everyone, today is Tuesday, July 21. There is a storm warning for later and possible flooding.  I guess I will probably stay inside now. I went to Burger King a while ago and 7-11 to get milk. I felt that the worker was of a certain caliber that the soldier reminded me of.  I am careful not to say things like that too often but I don't think people realize how good some workers are in their context.  

I got a huge jug of milk so I will probably eat some cereal later. I am glad I could get some coffee and I saw two pals on my trip.  Sometimes I do have a good neighborly feeling so let's not forget that when I get targeted by harrassment and racism.  Also everyone, they are in on the conspiracy. 

There are other things to say but I don't need to commentate on every single thing that happens.  Maybe in heaven I will give lectures about conservatism and liberalism.

My facebook pages are doing well. I am thankful.  I can't tell how racist that guy is who commented. His profile is suspicious but I saw nothing wrong with his comment. And I deleted that other one.

I got good sleep last night and had an interesting dream with two teachers from yore.

I will check on my videos. Are people proud of me for spending less? Or do they think I should have used that new card.  I just think I have to be macro and not mega. 

Well, have a good day everyone.