Gice did you see that Skeeter posted two of my favorite pals for Valentine's Day?  That is so sweet and heartwarming. I think they were friends I made in my latest years of living in Greenville. Was it Harper and Hannah? It just goes to show to always press on until the end because there are things at the fringes that are very valuable.

I tried to mail some books today but forgot that the post office was closed.  However it worked out because I had forgotten Pastor Tim's name from the list.  So I added his name. There are enough books for the people at Echo who I remember at this time. It is a good collection with four joke, two library, and two or three creature comforts. Maybe only two creature comforts. But it is okay.  I think that is representative and this is a symbolic political gift like the Statue of liberty.

I hope so much that some people are able to order the books and there are secret book owners out there.  Because I feel like my 500-800 people are an awesome time capsule club, but if there is no outside circulation by now then that is depressing.

But anyway how is Ravneet doing. She made me feel better on Valentine's Day but I am not sure that she is getting enough attention from me.  But I can't go visit her anywhere or send her any presents. I mean maybe I could do some donations in her honor sometimes. But it would be like 30 dollars to an animal place or something. Well maybe that is good.

Honestly mailing these books out has made me feel good about that project. Is it just a project? A twenty year creative endeavor? I think it is a profession like being a doctor. And it goes deep into the identity.  And that could be how God disguised it to allow it to come true is all those other lost careers that could have been like that.

So here is another question related to that list of pals in my next post.  What about Moody Black? Well I think that we as a poetry team were a group, and I also think he has a leadership role in an organization that could put him in a different category with other key players.  So let's not make this one recognition something that it isn't. It isn't a filter to see how cool people are.  I just really think there is a similarity in these guys who were cooler than me and had no reason to really treat me as an equal and they did.  And the gap between my nerdiness and their status is really pretty gaping.

So anyway I think that is neato.  I mean a lot of us who socialized a lot have had some interesting piles of halloween candy to sort out. I am so sad about the political problems and lost facebook happiness, but maybe as a phenomenon, some of people's social reaches were maintained and preserved. Even as part of history, which is cool.  I mean think of it, the 80s children, how God loves us.  And the sci-fi things that actually happened in our lives.  I mean it is crazy.  So I guess for this next group it will be something different.  It could be some serious provisions during danger. And some historical sacrifices and heroism.

So anyway, that is interesting. I can't remember if I took my medicine last night. I could take it soon and keep progressing to a later routine.  But if I do that, then why not wait until 9.  I think that is what I will do. I slept well and had a dream about IHOP and being in a skit with some camp people. I said I didn't want to be in a skit and then I tried to be in the skit after all and said I had a sword named Sting and then there was already someone like that in the skit and I was embarrassed. Well that is weird.

Gice I am so glad I caught up on groceries. I feel that this is the first time in a year that I have felt caught up. I mean maybe even two years. It is because of the rice and beans. I think if I do an instacart it will be for baking items and jello salad ingredients. But maybe no need for that right now.

Well have a good day everyone. I hope to do a hundred more mail outs this year. That is the minimal goal and I will be sending messages on facebook so if you feel hurt then please be patient because wasn't this a good batch for people? I think it was. And if you wait three more years, what will it be? I mean maybe there will be money then.  But anyway maybe that is why the book sales are secret, so as not to corrupt the friendship gestures. Well I just still question it sometimes. Okay have a good day.

 Hello everyone, today is Monday, Feb 16. It is 12:40 pm and I am about to go to the post office. I will try to get a new pack of tape when I am there and go back again soon. It is weird how I am sending out these books that I wanted to send last year and didn't.

I think Wednesday I am going to go visit a friend at a hospital place but I need to make sure I wear a mask. Almost done with flu season but I do not have either vaccine this year.

I think that recent batch of memes wasn't very good. I mean the art memes. Will I do new poem memes, /i do not know.

Something cool this past weekend is that I realized some poetry literature people were still my friends. That is really cool and it made me happy and I think the conspiracy was trying to help me have a lot of groups of friends.

Which reminds me to say something I could have done a better post about but will say it now.  There are 5 or 6 or 7 guys who are cooler than me but treated me great and I will never be able to fathom it. I might leave off a name but it is Bobby Caples, Sam Lamott, Ben Rosenfeld, Kyle Hampton, Matthew Dickman, and maybe one or two more who I can't remember.  Ok I remembered another one: James Pugh. Jared Chesson might be one of them but I feel like I put him in another group with the cool PFR Young Life types. I wonder if Ken Hellier would be in that previous group too, but I am not sure. He might be more in one of the key player people who were in leadership roles. Okay now I am also thinking of Avi Nocella.  Possibly in that group too. I am saying these people because they were all so cool as compared to how absolutely nerdy I am and lesser looking in some ways, too. I mean I shouldn't have that much pressure because of gender. I should be able to wear a bandana and hat and be okay.  But I just feel like there was a huge social status gap and they accepted me in various ways without a hint of not just bullying but not even any charitable condescension.  I mean that is really crazy. I feel bad for leaving people off.  I even have to say that as much as I have been nice to people over the years, I am not sure I have ever had that kind of status to donate. I mean maybe people are trying to create that with me as a famous writer.  But anyway, I think that is enough to say about it.  

I don't know if other people can see what I am talking about. How much cooler these guys were than me and how much they treated me like a legitimate friend. I mean gay, mentally ill, nerdy, low class.  I just hope God does something for them because He sees it perfectly.

So anyway, I guess that is today's post, have a great day everyone!

 Gice I do not know if the meter or rhythm is right on that poem on the poems blog. But it is okay.  I like the order of the poems ok.  And it is a good hobby that has been restarted. I truly am starting my career over and trying again.

I boosted some more posts on my art pages and saw that wow the blob posts don't get as high numbers. But I think that is facebook's choice. I do not know why. I think they like to support things that are changing the world and not just decorative.

Anyway I felt the bad feeling for a while earlier and I do not know why.  Then I listened to some music and was okay. It is taking a while for my posts to start sharing. I do not know why. It could be because that groundhog post is still sharing.

At about 9 am I will probably go to that grocery store.  However I did think about trying an instacart order. Like what if I did a lot of beans and corn and rice.  Just to stock up.  Well the point for that is to use the OTC.  My case manager said to check amazon fresh and see if they take OTC. So I will check that. Maybe I should check that right now.

I am not that bothered that facebook is messing with me.  Maybe they are planning out the routes for the algorithms.  I mean something tells me that is automated.  But I do not really know.

I am trying to get to 99 million. I think after this share then I am essentially at 100 million.  It could be give or take ten million.  I mean I think it is more likely to be 85 than 110.  But if you do the money numbers it adds up to 110 million.  But without the organic reach it is about 90 million. Or maybe 85.  

But I am also counting my lifelong facebooking on my other page.  And I think that is a cool mil.  So that is really 2 cool mil for that page.  But those numbers are in the charts for the recent account. 

Anyway sorry if that is annoying.  

I had ups and downs on valentine's day. Actually some pretty deep depression feelings a few times. I think it was from that whole prayer machine thing, and then the reminder that the books haven't sold, and a feeling that people are going to steal all my work.  Well probably it will be okay, and one sign of that is the security of my pen name.

But anyway I also felt good sometimes.  And then when I had the bad feeling it is a reminder to be thankful for when I feel okay.

Well, I think I did right for today.  I will take my medicine probably at about noon.  I want to go to the bible study though. I need to send Ken an email.  Maybe he was seeing if I pray for them.  Well that is most interesting.  The thing is that I do pray in my own way.

The other thing is that my waking hours are when everyone else is asleep.  So I do not call and keep up like I want to.  So that is too bad.  But I think I will fix it over the next week or so.

Well, that is all.  Now I will investigate groceries.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Feb 14, Valentine's Day. 

I hope everyone is doing okay. I am doing okay and slept through most of the day because I did not take my medicine until 9 am.  I went to a spirituality group today and honestly some people were losers. Like the same bullcrap anti-christianity. I feel sorry for them. It is certain people. It is a familiar pattern.  At some point I should just say I am tired of it and feel sorry for them. I do not know where their arrogance came from, like if they were in a good mood one day and thought themselves spiritually superior. 

But anyway I just felt like I would say it because wow who needs that.  But I was late today and some people were nice. I don't go much because the group mostly took a new age turn toward a consistent belief in certain reincarnation purposes.

So anyway I heard from Ravneet and she is supporting me going to the grocery store tomorrow morning hopefully. I think I will go at ten oclock and walk to that far store with the cart.

My facebook posts did well and hit 1.5. I am hitting ten thousand per dollar on some posts.  I think that is the raise I got for longevity.  So I should keep posting. I might create more images soon on canva and bing. I mean should I do that later tonight? Hmm I do not know.

I think I am at about 98 million views.  It could be only 85 if I am wrong about organic reach.  But I think I am right about it and am also accounting for about 3 million views that I accidentally deleted when I had to stop some ads that didn't have a scheduled ending.  

I could send around the two poems but I don't know if I want to do that gallbladder image. I think it is okay but I am just not sure it is a good enough poem. I am sometimes having trouble knowing which audience to send to.  Because when I do both America and India it sometimes doesn't go to America.

I saw disturbing images of detention centers for ten thousand people at a time.  That is not a happy site.  I don't know why we couldn't just do citizenship for people. 

I think in some ways we have to ask God for help and see a new future where America is a piece of crap country and the things God does in our lives are kind of independent of or under a bad government.

One of my goals is to not blame it all on guys watching inappropriate things on TV.  That might be it or it might not be it.  In terms of why we are missing leadership of actual good people.

Well, that is all for today. I wrote two new poems but did not put them in that book. I feel happy that I can use that self control and not change the book other than fixing that missing letter. I fixed the glossy print status too and now it will be better. I am working on a new thin book but I need to be patient because the poems are already a thin book. Maybe I will find some blog posts for it but really I am not sure I have that much material yet. I hd thirteen pages of memes and poems.  So I need to be patient. I might write something else biographical. But I forgot what it was. Do you guys remember? I think I emailed it to myself two weeks ago.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, did you guys like my new poems? I think they are good.  I have one more but it is not that great. I just went to the post office and picked up the next round of joke and library books. I might not rush distribution.  But who knows, maybe next week I will feel like getting it done.  I think for now I will just be glad about what I sent last week. I hope I did not intrude on people's Valentine's Day.

I was not able to go to the grocery store today. I think I will try to go tomorrow morning. I think I will postpone medicine until noon and see if I can go in the morning. That will probably be okay and eventually I will skip a day and be back to 9 pm medicine.

I got three frozen meals at Walgreens for 7 dollars each. I think that is an okay deal. I did not buy valentine's chocolate but got two Whatchamcallits. And ice cream snickers.

I think I am okay to wait and get the fixins for chili tomorrow or even Sunday. But I think it will be tomorrow. Wow I am tired of politics and the liberal slash religious divide.  I mean maybe that means stay off media.  But I like facebook and my posts are doing well.

The fun thing this time was 165 shares for the groundhog post.  I think that is funny. Most of the viewers are women older than me.  That is kind of okay with me but I think it is from facebook cheating and lying.  Because the audience I selected was 18-65 and they always give me over 65.

But anyway my India posts are doing well. I might revisit and click like on comments but sometimes I can't scroll that much because my computer overheats.  That groundhog post is running at 10 thousand people per dollar.  So that is great and fun. I mean some people could say why couldn't that be a hundred dollar post but it just wasn't.  The other posts are okay too. I think the bird post could have reached more people but it is okay. I will be at a cool mil.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Wednesday, Feb 11. I just walked to a food station but had really wanted to go to the grocery store today. However, it was so cloudy when I went outside that I felt I should wait until tomorrow.  Probably that will be fine and I will get the fixins for chili. As it is I ate some chicken curry and it was yummy but could use more sauce.  However I still feel good about the food for today. But now my account is depleted and I have to be more careful tomorrow.  But it is good to be careful anyway and buy the OTC designated foods.

What is left is some pork and mystery food which will be good later. I wanted that creamed corn again but it was not there. Also today I ordered snacks from Instacart. And I sadly did not give Salvador and his mom a poetry book and art book.  It was such a terrible fumble.  But I left a good tip online but it is not the same.  However I do not need to grovel in the regret. 

Will I feel bad about those poems? I actually have one more but I am not posting it. There are actually two about liberals that I am keeping to myself.  I do not know if all my friends left me but I know I will write what seems good and if it gets wasted, people can be corrected on Judgement Day.

What do you guys think about the soup I bought? I think it was a good purchase.

I miss Ravneet. She helped me feel better this morning. I did not expect to post all that facebook stuff today but I think I will be glad. I think I can say that when these posts finish, I will be at 97 million views.  One of my accounts disappeared, though, and I am not sure the organic reach is as much on the new pages.  Because the organic reach for the jokes page was 5.5 million plus the 30 million views.  And I estimated that it would be the same for these pages.  But these pages only have 3 thousand followers instead of 300 thousand followers, so I am not sure the organic reach accumulated the same way.  And yet it might have.  Also, it is about 55 or 60 million views for the art pages.  And 3 million that got erased on the records. So I always add those accounts and then add 11 million and 3 million.  That puts me at about 95 million.  But I am ready to be at 97 million and might estimate a little higher and maybe guess one million from my normal page where I did videos for 300k people this year.  And then I think last year is added to that.  So maybe I can definitely just round it up a little bit.  I mean I don't know. I always have had guilt sometimes about lying to myself.  That was from being gay and not feeling like myself.  It wasn't really my fault. I think God understands. 

Last night I read Jane Eyre and it was great. I am on chapter 23.  I didn't realize it was such a romance novel.  I really didn't perceive that as a kid until the end. It is just actually kind of funny because there is so much physical description of Mr. Rochester.  

Well, have a nice day everyone.

 Ok everyone, that is weird, but I posted the other valentine and sent it to India. It worked out well. Kind of weird that I also did the rabbit but I think it is okay. I feel good about these posts even though it is pushing the budget a little bit. In fact I think I need to check the discover card account.  

That took a lot out of me so now it is harder to go to the store. But I believe I can do that soon.  And yet what if I wait until tomorrow. I actually could wait until tomorrow. I will just see how I feel in thirty minutes or an hour.

What am I going to eat for lunch. I should have thawed some chicken. Maybe I will make some rice. I think at the store I will get some beans and corn, and grits and cheese and I don't know. I mean maybe wait until tomorrow.

Does anyone have any thoughts about my valentines? A lot of people suffer at valentines. There is a lot of suffering and I think that the next generations are deciding how to live.

Gice what a fumble earlier but maybe that guy needed some cash.

Ok I need to check the account and make sure I did not forget about a whole round of boosts.