Hello everyone. This is Refried. My mom is slamming doors right now because I threw away a Starbucks cup with a little bit left in it. It is because they gave me a grande because I asked for more milk.  I will need to explain that to my mom. I have to explain things about most things that I do but she has been better for this trip so I am not going to just list every little thing which is the whole point I am trying to say. I mean every single little thing is questioned or defended.

I need to throw away some more trash from what I cleaned yesterday.  I am going to the mall to see a friend that she would want to know about but I don't know if I can tell her because she would freak out. It is my friend from when I went missing at Bellevue.

Ok some of this draft got erased.

I told my mom about my friend and she was reminded of old times but I felt that she should know and be happy that I am still friends with that person.  

My mom deserved for me to be mentally ill and have a life that devastated her.  People say wow that is such a horrible thing to say but my family made choices in how they treated me and God did not put up with it.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried.  I am going to go eat with two friends soon.  I think it will be fun.  Then I am going to have coffee downtown with another friend.  I did not fold my clothes from the dryer yesterday so some of my clothes are wrinkled . But it is okay. I have a shirt that is not wrinkled.

The computer took a chunk out of my funds but today I got my SSDI payment and that helps a lot. I mean honestly I am close to normal and can only do one or two more main video boosts.  But really that is a lot.  Two more boosts of three or four videos each is actually a lot.  I mean okay I can actually do about three.

So that is great. But I need to pay for my comedy class also.  It helps me see myself as a comedian.  I told my sister some of the jokes I had planned and she thought some were funny but some should be skipped.  I mean pretty crazy.  I had a good time with my sister but I can tell she still feels hurt about years past but it wasn't my fault and she made a lot of choices herself.  But I think she will get through it and I think my life isn't so amazing that it will cause her to suffer. I mean there are some cool things but there is some low status and suffering also.

There was only a little bit of coffee still in the coffee maker so I do not know what that means except maybe drink another one at the mall or something.

Gice my numbers on the charts hit 100 mil finally but I had deleted about 3 mil and then there is also organic reach to consider.  And I think I am at about 11 mil for that. I just think that has to be the estimate. And then about 10 mil for likes and comments.  So I mean that is getting to be 120 or 130 for total things.  But really I like to have that extra cushion so when I get to a milestone I can consider it done earlier. 

I mean I am sorry but these numbers mean a lot to me and are a good way of measuring some kind of reach that I was really going for. I mean think about what else I have going for me and there are other cool things in my life but I don't have a paycheck for work anywhere and am kind of bullied sometimes.  So why shouldn't facebook go well. And it is the thing that most matches my prayers.

Spellcheck just tried to say ostensibly.  That is kind of comical. I think it is a message from Ravneet who might be pretending to be one of the other dames.

Well I mean I am just keeping that the way I said it. Gice when will there be another thin book, I do not know.  I could work on it on the train, maybe, and get through the trip more easily.  It will be fine. 

Well, time to get ready to leave. Have a good day.

 Ok I need to write something down which was that I went to zaxbys and ordered a Zax snack and a milkshake and the guy asked me if I wanted a regular drink too and I said yes but when he gave me the food there was no cup so I said can I have a cup for the drink so he gave me one but it seemed like he had not rung me up for that or it didn’t automatically come with the meal so then the manager got a cup also and filled up a drink and it seemed like it was for the video camera but I don’t really know. I just feel like they could track my transaction and say I stole a free drink with the help of a worker but I don’t even know the guy. But anyway it is just a dystopian video society problem but anyway I am ok just kind of full. I left and now I am at a Starbucks and it is going to be hard to get to eastside from here it I think I can figure something it. Like if I turn right and can turn left at the light at about 5. I mean I don’t need to get there until 5:30 like my sister. 

So anyway I think it is good that my mom skipped because actually I think driving would have been an issue. Anyway I wish I knew how disabled I am or not. I felt it today or yesterday when I imagined leading a zoom meeting and I was like no I can’t. 

But anyway do you guys have any opinions. I did not get a good blob video. I think my friend is visiting me tomorrow but I scheduled something with another friend. But I think it is okay.

 Hello everyone, I am at Zaxby’s waiting a few minutes until it is time to go to my niece’s lacrosse game at my old high school. I had a birthday cake shake and it was good but kind of a lot.

Ravneet just gave me some good secret messages.

My mom is not going to the lacrosse game and I feel relieved because I think it was a fall risk.

Traffic is kind of crazy right now. I think I have been here too long and need to leave.

Gice I wish I had a bigger budget for videos but so does everyone. I think it will work out okay. I tried to do a blob video and did not get a good rendition. 

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 10 am on Tuesday. I didn’t take my medicine until 9 am from last night because I didn’t have food in my room to take the medicine with. Now I need to get coffee. I think I will go to the bookstore where I am waiting for my used books to be processed.

I love my new computer. It is a great surprise. I think the only drawback is that it uses the same harsh lighting as my iPhone. Sometimes I am okay and I can do photos that turn out ok but my zooming doesn’t look good. 

But it is okay. Everyone knows that about me. I mean actually they probably did it on purpose and they put in their ads that they make you look good. I mean am I going to be the ones to challenge them on it? 

That reminds me that I also just got an email from my Amex business card account that their deal with Amazon is over and US Bank is taking over the account. Well that might be okay if US Bank lets me proceed as normal but why do I think this sounds like people selling a debt and US Bank is going to demand the whole payback? I mean if they can change companies they can do anything. I feel like I should report this somewhere like to Elizabeth Warren.

So that is not really a happy thing to wake up to but I feel okay even after taking the medicine and I think I should go get this stuff done at the bookstore.

I just need to pack one more bag of books.

Well okay. Later today I am going to my niece’s lacrosse game and it will not be easy. It will be about 5-7. I can do it. I have to ride in a car with my mom and then watch her walk far as a fall risk and then manage her shame of me in public as she fusses at me and asks what is wrong because something is always wrong, nothing is ever okay, I always need to do something different, Since the was a kid if she knocks on my door I pretend to be doing anything different because whatever the truth is is not okay.

But anyway I am still having an ok trip. But I told my sister I was happy to end with our lunch and then she sent a text about the lacrosse game. Which is good but I am sad I have to be tortured again.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 4 pm on Monday. At 6 o’clock I have a training for three hours. It is an extra class for CE credits for social work.

Today I took some more books to the used bookstore. Then I helped clear out boxes of stuff in my mom’s house. She had some stuff here that should have already been given away. 

Tomorrow I am going to go to my niece’s lacrosse game. I thought I had already done all the family visits and I am not happy about being tortured again by making sure my mom doesn’t fall and by managing her public shame of me in front of other people. But I think it is only for an hour and it will be okay.

Some of my videos slowed down and some sped up. I guess I will live and learn. I am going to ask my mom to sponsor some videos, possibly by increasing my monthly deposit.  I think she might go for it and I believe I have done the best I can for everyone involved.

I will continue my other pages in less frequent amounts.

I might do some ads and will have to be brave again but it was okay. Today Leo at the Apple Store shook my hand as if I was famous.

But really I don’t think there are many book sales unless it is secret. I mean to me I sense a waste but maybe it is ok.

Gice I got a new computer. It was only 750 dollars. I could not believe it. I will try to set it up soon. I don’t know if I will use it tonight.

I just don’t know if I have the strength to set it up right now. But I got a lot done for my mom with that stuff. I will try to get more done tomorrow morning.

Ok everyone that is all for now. Does anyone read this and find it interesting? Well I hope so.

Have a good day everyone.

 Gice 

I am waiting for my books to be processed at a used bookstore. I might go to the dollar store in the same shopping center. I thought they would be done by now but I guess it is a busy time of day.

I am thankful for something but I can’t say what it is.