Pals I don’t know why people would say Mamdani should have skipped the 9/11 event. That is racist and bigoted or whatever the word is for being wrong and mean.

He is the mayor. Let him be a Muslim, let him be a good mayor. Is he supporting the Jewish people enough against anti semitism? I do not know, but mostly he is the one being discriminated against in his role.

Anyway I just talked to my mom. I was eating breakfast with her at IHOP when Sept 11 happened. Our waitress told us about each plane and I think that was nice because she could have kept it to herself.

I drove home looking at the sky to see if more planes would hit us in SC, and I also was apologizing to God because I thought it was my fault for driving my car too much and wasting oil from the Middle East.

So anyway that is sad, I was severely depressed for four years on the wrong psych meds. 

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, I just successfully went and got some waters and 7ups. Then I went to Popeyes chicken and got some food for the weekend. 

It is warm in this apartment right now. I do not know if the air is on but if it is not it will simply be a report and the Bridge will be fined for their consistent, disrespectful illegal abuse. 

It's fall weather again, time for the Bridge to cheat us out of our rent and legal rights.

Anyway, maybe the air will come back on later and it is just on low. Let's give them a chance, like fools every time. 

I think I will go downstairs and ask if the air conditioning is on.

Pals.  Someone bought my book called "Failed Mission to the Liberals." I think it was probably one of my facebook friends. My guess is that it was Anne Shaughnessy. Thanks, Anne. I am going to reread the book right now to see how I feel about others reading it.

Wasn't that so heartwarming today at Dunkin Donuts when that person bought that guy a sandwich? I mean it really just made my day and I thought about it later and was happy for like ten minutes.

But I do have scatterbrain so I did forget about it.

But anyway I had a good day but I need to get my apartment under control. 

Also I need to take my medicine in just a little while. I am getting tired but need to take the medicine as soon as I can. But I do feel back to normal.  The issue yesterday was because of the MSF event.  That is what I think, unless it had to do with phone a friends.

But I do not know.

So anyway I just read that Trump is trying to bribe voters with tax money.  And there was something bad on the news site that I saw.  Also, NBC is showing some news to only subscribers, which is disturbing to me in some ways, like it might be a way of tracking people or something. But I do not know.

Anyway I did two humor memes tonight and they were both very extreme.  I mean it is rough when your mental health also happens to be in question.  But I think they are funny jokes.

Pals I am so tired but it is hard to go take my medicine but I of course will.

Have a good day everyone. Tomorrow is Sept 11. Honestly it gets me every year.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Thursday, Sept 10. I did not post that blog post on my facebook page but probably will soon but that was kind of weird how that happened. 

So anyway, then I went to support group and I kind of talked too much and didn't do perfect. But people were nice to me but sorry everyone that I was kind of greedy. I did not mean to be. I just forgot and was wordy.  But I also always think that people do need support and there should be a few hands up for each person usually. 

So anyway I did the best I could and last night I did not go to support group and I think nami tries to support the regulars when we need it and they knew some stuff happened recently.

However I possibly was selfish.

And this brings us to another interesting topic, which is that I sometimes saw my sister as the chomp chain on super Mario and she saw me as bowser.  But the bad things those particular characters do is reversed, and my sister blocks stuff like bowser, and I was greedy like the chomp chain.  

Isn't that so bad of me to say? Well I just find it interesting and I do not know what it means, except it might have been set up to be written right now on this blog.

The Re-Stains of the Day

 Hello everyone, I just thought of a blog post topic that might belong on my mad blog. In fact, I think I will put it on the mad blog soon.  But it is about writing and publishing.  And for some reason, while thinking about Substack a few minutes ago, I happened upon this topic that I find myself absolutely suddenly outraged about.  I mean I did not even know that this was percolating in my mind, but here it is.

Recently I saw a video where someone was questioning the expectation for writers to have "platforms," or rather, supply all the readers themselves before an agent and publisher accept them.  I also questioned this five years ago when it became a thing, and I was suggesting that the word "platform's" meaning had sneakily changed.  So anyway, finally some other people are seeing something sketchy about it, and I do agree. 

But there is something else that I find even more outrageous, and for some reason, I just now saw it so clearly in my mind after not really realizing how offended I am by this other thing.

So here it is... email lists.  This popular recent writing advice, or really just the stated news fact that you might not be able to reach anyone without your own email list, is another mandate from that same time where some people became popular and the experts began telling all of us failure people to be more like them, at least on the surface.  So what is offensive about being told to have an email list?

Well, the reason that email lists started to seem necessary is because the much more successful social media platforms were suddenly transformed from one of the best things that ever happened to us into a horrible thieving counter-monetized social life-stealing swindle.  And the same people who ruined facebook on purpose were the ones saying to now invest in email lists.

The overt bullying from political people to their own friends after thirty years in which they too did not succeed in helping immigrants is what I am talking about.  And to just say, well now you have to have an email list, is simply part of that hypocrisy.  Because at one point, there was a blessing that we had called social media, which included opportunities to reach people.  But up and ups and low down dirties all decided to ruin it for us. 

It is a fact, and people made their choice, and it can't be undone in order to hide it. Does it tarnish anyone's success? Not necessarily.  But not necessarily not, either.  Because wow, there were winners and losers, and did all the losers deserve it? Probably not. So what about the winners? Before I get on that tangent, I have one more thing to say about email lists and platforms.  The people who chase those things that seem to work and prescribe them to the rest of us who seem so inferior actually probably aren't seeing the real keys to success.  The real things that people who succeed on those levels do are likely to start years before and be very integrated in their lives as organic decisions that aren't that different from anyone who is doing what they really care about. And most writers do care and have something to say. I mean, sure, why not list the things that are working, why not give people the opportunity for relevant education, why not point out the clues that seem to suddenly work.  And yet, "you're going to need an email list because we are ruining this platform that we also told you to have," is nothing other than total bullcrap. Do you think that is sour grapes from me? Or is it the feces that you smeared all over the church of better writers.

 Pals, guess what, I saw my buddy named Danielle! At Starbucks!  from Jewish Board! It was so fun and she helped me not be scared of the story shield.  But I told her there was one that had to do with her because there is a Daniella and a Danielle and the evil forces might not know which one to attack. I mean you don't just tell someone that.  But I did but she is still my friend.

I think it is a reward because I volunteered to be a leader at the MSF event but nice I am not a good leader! I am going to have to tell the people I am not a good leader and don't know how to run the music.

But maybe they want to listen to Starbucks music. But I think that is what I should do now if find the playlist.

Ok thanks everyone.

 Hi everyone, this is Refried. It is 2:48. I feel back to normal but expect some visions for a day or so and figured out why it is happening. It is probably because of the Doctors Without Borders mapping event. God likes them and I have seizures sometimes when I pray for them. And that was also probably why the hurricane happened when I was at NCB, and there could also be an Asheville connection from when I prayed at the gas station that time. I am not saying that it is about me, but I have wondered what the meaning is and possibly that is the way that it is ironically not about me.

So anyway I know I seem like a kook now but it is actually the opposite. I am volunteering tonight in the meeting but my internet is not that great. But I think I will try to use my computer instead of my phone if I can. And I will log on at home and not Starbucks.

Soon I talk to Drena. I am glad I figured out why I was having slight spells of something.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Pals, if you do not get your book, please let me know or just order one later. I am sorry that sometimes the packages get torn or misdelivered etc.

The next batch is for Bronx Council for the Arts. There may be enough for the park or a normal few at pastors, priests, and guides. But there might not. So please be patient everyone and to my knowledge the Amazon page works so let’s none of us be too proud to just spend $5.

Hello everyone, this is Refried Bean. It is Monday, Sept 7. I just packed up three more books to mail out. So there are ten packages total. I hope they all get to the people and don't get sent back.

It is a good batch and now I have given away all my copies of the jumbo titles. But I think I still have two copies of the mice series but I think I will keep those for a while.

So that is interesting. That took a lot of work for a day or two. I mean maybe only a few hours.

So anyway now what.  I guess take my medicine soon. Or maybe take a walk. I think I will take a walk.

Maybe google the brain condition. My neurologist is keeping an eye on things. 

She said my brain adapted already to the low iron so there was not "damage."

ok,.. I just think this low iron situation is very bad. And sometimes I do not feel well.

But I think this is part of the process of dying and that is what is happening now.

So that is sad but it will be okay. 

I am glad to send out some more books.

I think I am at about 3000 total official, but really maybe 3500-4000 depending on what you count.

Some people are really happy to have the books.  Some people got left off but honestly it is not that easy.

But it is not that hard, either, like it is part of my normal work life.

Gice honestly my face is not totally back to normal and the weight loss stalled as well.

But it is okay. I feel okay and I have clean clothes and the roach motels are at the post office and the other shipment is on the way. Grocery money resets tomorrow and I am doing okay.

I will call my mom in a few hours and hopefully she is okay too.  I mean what if we aren't doing that great, that is also okay.

Ravneet helped me get through the weekend. I need to think about some of the conspiracy things. The New York conspiracy and how it is going to be fun in heaven. Like New York City is going to exist in heaven and there are a lot of good people headed there.  And some people didn't get their piece of the pie but just think about how cool most of us are. I mean we are nice people and a certain way.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 1:20 on Sunday, Sept 6. I am listening to a recording of a presentation that I liked at the SCBWI conference. Friday I found out that the agent of choice did not accept me.

Today I went to Starbucks and drank a mocha. Later I am going to try to go get pizza, but I need to take an iron pill, because I feel myself getting tired. It is a certain kind of tired that also has a mental spaciness.

Ravneet is helping me get through this weekend and I am doing okay. I think I might believe things to be a certain way for myself. Last night I got upset because I realized an amazon package was not delivered, and I suspected mail interference.  But this morning I see that things are in order.

My mom had a second hip surgery and my sister is taking care of her. I called her this morning and she was okay. But she had pain but I think she is getting through it.

Wow someone on the recording just said something really good. It is about middle grade not being dead.

Other stuff going on is my recent neurology appointment.  Dr. Gokhan said I do not have lupus.  I think I am going to call it autoimmune from now on.  Something made me laugh at the appointment.  It was a comedian on the show called "Sherrie," which was playing in the waiting room. And I laughed really loud, and then Dr. Gokhan later laughed when I said I might get a stroke from eating spicy food. 

So that is kind of funny but we do not know what anything means. I did not get any notes from either doctor at that hospital for these last two appointments. And I am kind of sad about that, because I like notes. But I think they suspect that I am skipping some meds. But I am doing the best I can.

So anyway. I think the agent of choice was my final effort. Thanks KG.

Well everyone, I hope you all have a good day. I am thankful for what I have, and sometimes I know when some of my jokes are only a little bit funny.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I just slept for a while, and I feel better. I had a dream where I was at a basketball game and a guy kept trying to make these shots from behind the goal and then another guy did some swishes and then I was at home and told my mom I was going to bilo to meet a friend so I left but then was on a bike or something and cut through a culdesac that doesn’t exist and there was this guy with a shiny pink tri corner outfit and he was a dad and he had left colorful twizzlers out on his porch area for the Easter bunny and then I was on Pelham road on a long boardwalk that went straight to bilo but it was at night and I had a light on my bike and a girl was in front of me talking to someone else about a film school project and then I woke up.

So that is neat about the twizzlers and Easter bunny.

I think I am okay about the other stuff on my mind and can get a pizza or something soon. I mean possibly I need to do a grocery order but I kind of want a pizza but now my bank accounts aren’t that great.

Does anyone have any thoughts? There are many different supernatural feelings for many different things and that is why I started thinking that anything positive might be more supernatural than we realize.

Anyway I need to clean my apartment some so I will take out the trash soon and maybe do laundry sometime.

I am glad I am caught up on sleep and medicine.

 Hey everyone, this is Refried. I took 5 books to the arts council and met a nice person named Tracy. She let me put the books on a table. Thanks, Tracy! She said I could come to an event and leave free books for everyone and I wouldn’t even have to hand them out personally. But maybe I should mingle. I think there is a possible gig but I might have something else scheduled that day.

But anyway that went well and I jibber jabbered at high speed so tomorrow I will try to slow down and not get in trouble about the medicine.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. The next thing to do today is walk back to westchester square. But it is hot and humid outside. So maybe I will but I don’t know.

I mean maybe it is not urgent to give those books to that office but I think I will but I remembered another possible person to send to yesterday.

But it is slowing down for a reason but that could just be my feeling of disability.

I kind of think passing out books in parks might be my new thing to do. I wanted to give that lady one today but it seemed like she was on a cellphone and I did not want to be weird.

So anyway ups and downs live and learn. It is time to eat some lunch. I mean what’s it going to be for lunch today. I guess fettuccine Alfredo. Hmm I could actually boil pasta and use that sauce. That is what I will do.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Thursday, Sept 3.  I think after I finish my coffee, I will walk to the post office. It might be at about 11 or 12. I have good news which is that my weight was 194 today. So I am losing weight at a good rate.  This week it was because of the walking and not eating much for two days when I was working on the art and poems.  Some of it has happened gradually at about 3 pounds a month for four months.  That was the point. That was the issue.

So hopefully it will continue until I am right back at 186. It is possible I will lose a little more than that because of the low iron, but honestly I would rather the low iron be fixed.

I feel better today and don't have the headache. I think it was from the sausage or something.

I am not getting more face problems.  I think the issue has been successfully stopped and now I just need to stop the anxiety habits.  But that will also be reduced because there won't be a problem in the first place.  So the habit is also guaranteed to be reduced.  So forget your little blame plan that you have in mind.

Anyway in the news today it said that Gloria Steinem died.  She was in my comedy routine and it is a good joke.  Thanks Gloria Steinem.  Everyone knows I like all the liberals.  It is supernatural. When I went to that young life thing, tears started streaming down my face as soon as I saw the planned parenthood building. It was supernatural evangelical tears.  We do not know why but it is my calling. But we kind of do know why and it is because most liberalism is really from christianity. It just is.

Anyway I can't believe my weight is at 194.  It happened faster than I expected but I am used to it being totally hopeless. I think part of it is the angle that the scale is on but it is still consistent relatively.

Honestly my bmi isn't that great but I am still thankful that it has improved. It is now 32.3.  I believe I will get it back down to 31 and that is normal for me. I mean that is only a couple of pounds away.

But I need to build some muscle back so that is a factor. I mean in that way I am a little worse than I was before no matter what.  And some of that is from disease.  But I am on the right track as long as north central doesn't attack me tomorrow. I think they won't.  Can't people see that I am sane enough right now? This needs to be good enough for people.

Anyway, how are my facebook numbers.  Very good, but I can't spend more for a while. I mean that is serious. I have used up that budget. That was with a little bonus this month.  But I have a credit card in better condition than normal.  The Ollo card.  Which I will use for steak and eggs at the diner.

Well, that is all for now. Thanks everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I have had a headache today. Is it from that piece of sausage that I ate at McDonalds a few days ago? I do not know. But I am okay. I am making some coffee. I thought it was a caffeine headache but I bet it is the lupus.

I think I still have anemia tongue but it is not that bad.  

I wonder if that poetry spell happened in conjunction with MC's group.  Because I had just been wondering if it wouldn't happen again because I left the creative writing group on Mondays.  And then it happened overnight and is back to normal now.  So maybe God was showing me that it could still happen.

I mean that is cool and interesting.  And then what are the poems like? There is quite a variety and they are mostly okay.  And yet kind of an odd assortment to be a revelation.  And yet it wasn't really prophecy necessarily but sacred art. Like it is. Sorry but it is. It was inspired.  But there were mistakes too and corrections and editing.  And yet I could do no wrong, either.

But I kind of could do wrong when I was yapping about it and I would feel the air get colder in my soul.

So that is interesting. Something I was aware of was kind of the paper rock scissors component with millions of people. Like God doesn't exalt people to wrench others and doesn't have an economy that is abusively competitive.  You don't have to suffer when someone else is doing well.  That is healthy church life and it is us who mess it up.  

But anyway it was also interesting that the Holy Spirit backed up the exact content that is already usually on my blog. Where I am like this is what I am eating and I need to do these chores and I should pray more.

But anyway does anyone have any thoughts? I mean that was interesting. I guess just read the poems and think about it. I am glad it only lasted a day because I was like man how am I going to do a whole three days, or even a week.  And I think last time it was two weeks.

I feel my headache a little bit.  What should I do about these health problems. I guess the next step is talk to Dr. Gokhan, and then later make an appointment to check my iron levels again at Dr. Parik.

The headache is not a low iron emergency. It is either from caffeine, a certain time, the weather, or  the sausage biscuit.

Pals, I cut my bank account too close paying back cards.  I hope there aren't too many more that go through tomorrow or something.  Probably this was all. I thought I calculated well but I guess it was that 80 for US Bank that really hit me. But it will be okay. 

Well, have a good day, everyone.

 Pals, the numbers on my posts are back to normal. So that is good. This is a good batch running right now. I do not know if the poetry thing will continue. It might have passed with me not boosting a blog post on my normal facebook page. So I do not know.

I did not go to the post office. I got tired and slept. I am caught up on medicine. I mean at 4 pm maybe I could still walk to the post office to get the roach motels. But I think I am waiting a day or so.

That was an interesting poem adventure, wasn't it? I do not know if it will continue.

Pals I have sure been at my computer a lot.  Now my internet is slow again. So maybe I will try to stay off of it sometimes. I mean just today there was a five hour chunk where I was sleeping.

I mean if you think about this opportunity to communicate with people all over the world, it is kind of out of the ordinary and something to make the most of while it exists.

I think I lost a pound in the past couple of days. That is really good. I mean that is a tenth of my goal.

I am going to assume that I am back to normal unless I think of more poems. 

I wonder if it is bad that I did not boost any of the worldly monk posts yet. Well I just haven't on that page and I think it is okay. I mean I have boosted a lot of posts recently.

Here is a meme I did not use but I think it is cute and the birds are cool. I mean that is a Canva style of bird so as I use it, other people will also find these birds for their ai pictures.

Should I go take a walk. Well I think I need to take a shower. I feel a tongue problem again from the low iron. But it is not that bad and I don't have much fatigue. I guess I will take an iron pill. I think I can tolerate more iron pills without the extra medicine.  So that could work out. But I think the iron pills might not be absorbed that great. Because I did take several for a week before that last blood test.

Now I need to make coffee and take a shower. Is anyone reading this. Do you guys like my memes.  Is everyone sick of my posts? I kind of think it is okay when a lot of art drops, but to me, the old marker art became a bit much.  And yet it shows that I did try non ai.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 

 Pals, I had to fix another major meter mistake. But it is okay. This process does not mean not editing. It is just poem writing but for some reason I keep thinking of more. I mean it makes you realize that most of the positive things we do have a supernatural component that we are just used to in some way probably.

But anyway I took my medicine. Wow I don't know why I delayed it but it is so much easier without the latuda. My face is not back to normal but the thing that causes the problem is in fact gone. So hopefully I will recover and get back to normal. I mean normal wasn't perfect but they did hurt my health. 

An apple one day

Hospitals are needed where there's pain and aches and strife.

So maybe there will be one in each choice of afterlife.

And who could be the people that in hell would have that curse?

Well maybe all the doctors who have always made us worse.

 Pals I fixed that mistake. That is exactly what I was saying. I mean weird that there are mistakes and the meter thing is an issue.  But the meter still is a meter in a certain way.

I feel fine. I will probably eat some ice cream.

It is about 1 am. I will take my medicine sometime. It is easier when I don't have to eat the food with it. I predict that my sleep schedule will be corrected.

Pals I think the poems are the goal and not a big prayer haul but I think I can get the usual stuff or more.

Well, have a good day everyone. I think I am not going to talk to Erline tonight but I appreciate all the phone a friends etc. Pals, what do we want, blessings, when do we want it, now.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday at 11:30. I am having a good time writing poems. I mean I wasn't really doing anything else except being on my computer too much doing ai art.  And writing poems is a little bit more meaningful and something I worked at more as a profession.

So that is good. Anyway I just wrote a poem I thought of because of an email about art history. And it was an awesome email that I found very interesting. I mean you could see how the icon was in fact supernatural. So that is really great.

I mean what does it all mean, we do not know. But it is kind of interesting. I mean let's think about this.  The roaches in my apartment. How I need to walk to the post office to get the roach motels I ordered.  But my room is like a roach motel. Like if you hear the word "roach motel," you think of a motel with roaches. And that is what my room is.  But anyway if you think about it, and the cleaning that I need to do, and how I did wash two dishes today, but that was rather minimal, and then suddenly it is poem time again.

And then how I am writing this blog post and it is just like all my blogging always is. 

Pals I think I can get some good prayers prayed right now. I will do facebook friends, NYC, crisis places and people in the world, maybe the future, but mostly people who need stuff right now or want stuff.

I think something interesting is that the eggplant poem is currently posted. And that was the poem I wrote when I reflected on how funny it is that the poems were supernatural and that is what they were about.

Like if you do see it as supernatural and then consider the jokes etc.

Well, that is all for now. Have a great day.