Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Sunday, Feb 22 at 11:21 pm. I just joined the NASW. The National Association of Social Workers. I do not know why I did not think of it until now.  I think it was because I was not employed as a social worker.  So I felt like a second class citizen.  And that could cost me my license, because I did not feel worthy of attending the CE credit trainings that turned out to be required.

So that is a sad story. A story spanning my entire adulthood.  From the day I decided I needed to change my major but couldn't, until a day soon when I hear bad news from the license agency. Really beyond that, because I have to now decide what to do with the mentions of "LMSW" in my books that are print on demand. Going by the copyright date is a good defense for that, but I do not have rights or a lawyer.

But it is possible that the license people will give me an extension.  If so, I think I will be okay and I am not really doing anything else besides the classes anyway.

Something interesting for the med schools is that I genuinely forgot that I was supposed to get CE credits and I also have a level of dementia, but it is not really because of the dementia that I forgot.  That is how I see it.  I see it as I genuinely didn't know.  But I think that a lot of social workers probably find themselves in this situation and it is possible that the license people see this as familiar.  And yet I think it could be mistaken as time slipping up, when I genuinely didn't know that CE applied to me.  I was just wrong and forgot. Because of being on SSDI.

Anyway I gave my website on the email I sent so theoretically, they could read this particular post, but it is not really written to them directly.  And yet I know they could read it. So that is a thing but not that important. I mean they can read my blog or not.  I mean what if I had fifty posts addressed to them by name.  That would still be okay.

I should read the code of ethics soon just to refresh myself.  Is that the joke? To refresh myself and it was time to renew the license?  Pretty funny, guys. I cried today. It was the same crying as when I lost my teaching job.  Honestly I was glad to feel those feelings instead of something like depression pain or something. Crying is very healthy.  But I think that is some points for those anti psychology people who believe everything is spiritual and mental illness isn't real.  Because there is a possibility that all my emotions have always been normal and are actually some kind of "Post Traumatic Stress Order."

Anyway, this is really good material, isn't it. I don't think it is meant as just content for my books, though. I feel that the intended audience is the actual social work profession through points of contact at the licensing people and NASW.  Possibly I have the two organizations conflated.

And then I think also the thing I might have forgotten is that I considered myself to be working as a writer and used my apartment address as the address for work twice, both as my writing small business and as the social work headquarters for the license. And it is against housing rules to work from the apartment.  But they correctly concluded that it isn't like I am having nonresident clients come see me here.

Something else interesting is that those tears earlier are probably my actual martyrdom, and the heart problems, trauma recovery, and disability is probably just from losing against a satanic attack.

I mean I do not know.  If it were someone else, I would tell them to expect some credit for it.

Well, that is all everyone, have a good day.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 6:38 am on Saturday, Feb 21. I am a little shaken up because of a crazy day yesterday and a trip to the ER for my gallbladder. My gallbladder hurt all day and I felt that I needed to see a doctor about it. But I saw my neurologist yesterday morning for my routine appointment.

The gallbladder cramped up because I got a Kirkus review and freaked out a little bit, but I am mostly happy with the review. It was an interesting experience.  And then I thought the gallbladder was calming down in the afternoon but I got an email about my social work license and I am way behind on CE credits. And I stupidly thought that I didn't have to do those because I was disabled.  And weirdly, absurdly, I wanted to take those classes and thought it was inappropriate for me to be there because I am not working.  And I kind of couldn't handle it and it further excaserbated my gallbladder problems.  

So then I went downtown and ate a great dinner with my friend Sharon.  And I was almost like a normal friend.  And the meal was not that expensive.  So that was great, and I had good food and it was not food that aggravated my gallbladder.  But I could feel that my gallbladder was still an issue. 

So on the way home I stopped at the Weill Cornell ER. I think I did the right thing.  I think I might have been able to go home but then I might have had to call an ambulance to take me to Jacobi.  I might have been fine there.  Possibly next time I will do that but I like the Weill Cornell people. I mean this might have been goodbye.  But I do not know.

Something interesting is that I got cold and they put a warm blanket on me and it made me feel better.  But I was shaken up by being there, and I could tell that people there are suffering and feel some stress.

So I did not want to add to it but I am glad I could see it. It was such a different impression than when I went there last year and it was almost empty and very peaceful and it almost seemed as if people were bored.  

This time I mostly hung out with the fellas.  Ermil the ultrasound guy, and Ivan the NP, Dr. David, Dr. Curato, who I did not recognize, and some other nice people.  There were nice nurses whose names I did not get except for Jessica and I just do not know. So I will send a note hopefully saying they did good for me. I told them I was a frequent ER junkie but at the same time, I do only go when I need to and to me, gallbladder pain is not ankle pain.  It is an organ of the body and if it bursts, you could die.  And I am not that scared of dying but don't want that in between feeling for any amount of time.

So anyway, when I was there, my heart rate was very high.  And it was because of the stress that was aggravating my gallbladder.  I think they knew that because I told them.  I told them the two stressors.

But anyway they have stressors right now too.

This morning I need to pick up some medicine from Walgreens and then go to a NAMI social downtown.  It will not be that easy to take another train ride downtown but I can do it.

The other thing is to accept a scholarship to a conference.  I tried to run it through and was not able to correctly so I need to talk to Becky again.  Becky really made me feel better about the Kirkus stuff.  I mean I felt okay but Becky's reaction was just what I needed.  I emailed her about it because I thought she might like to know about that resource, and the question of whether people should do it, and how it would benefit Christian writers.

So that is interesting.  Maybe I will do a separate post about my review.  I am happy with the review but they used the word frantic in one line, and I think they could have framed it more positively.  I think my depiction of an anxiety disorder was really creative and accurate, and why couldn't that be recognized instead of having the book called frantic, as if the book was written in despearation. Because it wasn't. I was mostly a plotter and not a panster, and there were things in that book that reflect years of thought and spiritual work.  But I think also they were acknowledging something about the prayer life in the book, that it was fear based, and a trauma reaction to an ongoing twelve year crisis of underemployment. 

And yet I was disabled, and was in the right place for God's plan.

So that it the other thing is to perceive God's plan happening. I mean I don't know.  Possibly this is all humbling not just for me as a writer, but spiritually, as I am just a regular person who is freaking out in some ways and just going through the day seeking comfort and food and meaning. And to not feel like an ace chaplain at the ER.  But I kind of was an ace near the Cathedral Wednesday.

So that is interesting.  I think part of the role last night is just to be able to remember all those people in the future for prayers and cares. And it was a vivid, impressionable experience.

Well, that is all. I mean frankly I believe there was a risk of emergency surgery but I felt more likely that what was needed was an assessment of how long I have with this gallbladder condition as it is.

I mean I do not know, and I think they freaked me out more at first to see if my gallbladder could take it.

That is what I told the nurse whose name I did not get.  I think she was a really good person.

Well, have a good day everyone. It is about 7 am. In one hour I will probably try to go get medicine. I kind of wish I had gotten that backpack at Jacobi but I was not able to.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is about 6:30 on Feb 16. I just ate some yummy potatoes. I had a good day today and felt good. I do not know why. I wonder if people prayed for me. I thought of another maybe name for that list which is Cas Smith, but I might think of him as a different group. But he was nice to me and it helped a lot.

So anyway this afternoon I updated my resume. I am happy with it but wonder where the missing book sales are. I just don’t understand. I mean people could say what about the missing teaching career. And yet for some reason I am not as bothered by that on the resume. Possibly because I didn’t actually teach after that career is gone, but I did write the books.

I guess I don’t know how many have sold. I mean did people send around that link? I got that person’s name wrong in the next post didn’t I. It is Harper and a different name. I will probably be able to remember it another time but can’t there be a caption or something. 

Anyway I figured out something really helpful to remember with the facebook stats and that is that there are about 3 million likes. Maybe even 5 million by now. So I think I can let that solve the mystery of organic reach.

And I have to say that I might be finishing up. I mean I should not waste the opportunity and if I do some more cool images then I will share, but I just wonder if one good year was enough. And round it off at a hundred mil.

I mean that is great. But anyway sorry to be annoying or brag but sometimes I am in a vacuum and where is my career? I mean there are some things unexplained.

I just microwaved some coffee and I guess I will think about where to send the class sets. Does anyone really want some books like that? I personally would if I were a teacher, especially for college.

Gice who are the people. I think it isn’t Katherine and Haley. Emily Grigg would be good but I really think these books are for teens more than middle school. So why start at the edge. What about Jessica Gilbert. Hmm. How many students is that. I would do a threefer if someone wanted to gift it to all their classes but in a way I think that is a bit much. 

What about Anne Parris. Maybe. What about other MFA pals who teach. I can’t just do an announcement because no one will see it.

I just don’t know. I mean maybe break up the sets and mail 5-7 to twenty people. Because what if that is too much to ask from a teacher. Well I personally think some young people would like some books. Who am I forgetting, I do not know.

Well, that is all. Have a good day everyone.

 Gice did you see that Skeeter posted two of my favorite pals for Valentine's Day?  That is so sweet and heartwarming. I think they were friends I made in my latest years of living in Greenville. Was it Harper and Hannah? It just goes to show to always press on until the end because there are things at the fringes that are very valuable.

I tried to mail some books today but forgot that the post office was closed.  However it worked out because I had forgotten Pastor Tim's name from the list.  So I added his name. There are enough books for the people at Echo who I remember at this time. It is a good collection with four joke, two library, and two or three creature comforts. Maybe only two creature comforts. But it is okay.  I think that is representative and this is a symbolic political gift like the Statue of liberty.

I hope so much that some people are able to order the books and there are secret book owners out there.  Because I feel like my 500-800 people are an awesome time capsule club, but if there is no outside circulation by now then that is depressing.

But anyway how is Ravneet doing. She made me feel better on Valentine's Day but I am not sure that she is getting enough attention from me.  But I can't go visit her anywhere or send her any presents. I mean maybe I could do some donations in her honor sometimes. But it would be like 30 dollars to an animal place or something. Well maybe that is good.

Honestly mailing these books out has made me feel good about that project. Is it just a project? A twenty year creative endeavor? I think it is a profession like being a doctor. And it goes deep into the identity.  And that could be how God disguised it to allow it to come true is all those other lost careers that could have been like that.

So here is another question related to that list of pals in my next post.  What about Moody Black? Well I think that we as a poetry team were a group, and I also think he has a leadership role in an organization that could put him in a different category with other key players.  So let's not make this one recognition something that it isn't. It isn't a filter to see how cool people are.  I just really think there is a similarity in these guys who were cooler than me and had no reason to really treat me as an equal and they did.  And the gap between my nerdiness and their status is really pretty gaping.

So anyway I think that is neato.  I mean a lot of us who socialized a lot have had some interesting piles of halloween candy to sort out. I am so sad about the political problems and lost facebook happiness, but maybe as a phenomenon, some of people's social reaches were maintained and preserved. Even as part of history, which is cool.  I mean think of it, the 80s children, how God loves us.  And the sci-fi things that actually happened in our lives.  I mean it is crazy.  So I guess for this next group it will be something different.  It could be some serious provisions during danger. And some historical sacrifices and heroism.

So anyway, that is interesting. I can't remember if I took my medicine last night. I could take it soon and keep progressing to a later routine.  But if I do that, then why not wait until 9.  I think that is what I will do. I slept well and had a dream about IHOP and being in a skit with some camp people. I said I didn't want to be in a skit and then I tried to be in the skit after all and said I had a sword named Sting and then there was already someone like that in the skit and I was embarrassed. Well that is weird.

Gice I am so glad I caught up on groceries. I feel that this is the first time in a year that I have felt caught up. I mean maybe even two years. It is because of the rice and beans. I think if I do an instacart it will be for baking items and jello salad ingredients. But maybe no need for that right now.

Well have a good day everyone. I hope to do a hundred more mail outs this year. That is the minimal goal and I will be sending messages on facebook so if you feel hurt then please be patient because wasn't this a good batch for people? I think it was. And if you wait three more years, what will it be? I mean maybe there will be money then.  But anyway maybe that is why the book sales are secret, so as not to corrupt the friendship gestures. Well I just still question it sometimes. Okay have a good day.

 Hello everyone, today is Monday, Feb 16. It is 12:40 pm and I am about to go to the post office. I will try to get a new pack of tape when I am there and go back again soon. It is weird how I am sending out these books that I wanted to send last year and didn't.

I think Wednesday I am going to go visit a friend at a hospital place but I need to make sure I wear a mask. Almost done with flu season but I do not have either vaccine this year.

I think that recent batch of memes wasn't very good. I mean the art memes. Will I do new poem memes, /i do not know.

Something cool this past weekend is that I realized some poetry literature people were still my friends. That is really cool and it made me happy and I think the conspiracy was trying to help me have a lot of groups of friends.

Which reminds me to say something I could have done a better post about but will say it now.  There are 5 or 6 or 7 guys who are cooler than me but treated me great and I will never be able to fathom it. I might leave off a name but it is Bobby Caples, Sam Lamott, Ben Rosenfeld, Kyle Hampton, Matthew Dickman, and maybe one or two more who I can't remember.  Ok I remembered another one: James Pugh. Jared Chesson might be one of them but I feel like I put him in another group with the cool PFR Young Life types. I wonder if Ken Hellier would be in that previous group too, but I am not sure. He might be more in one of the key player people who were in leadership roles. Okay now I am also thinking of Avi Nocella.  Possibly in that group too. I am saying these people because they were all so cool as compared to how absolutely nerdy I am and lesser looking in some ways, too. I mean I shouldn't have that much pressure because of gender. I should be able to wear a bandana and hat and be okay.  But I just feel like there was a huge social status gap and they accepted me in various ways without a hint of not just bullying but not even any charitable condescension.  I mean that is really crazy. I feel bad for leaving people off.  I even have to say that as much as I have been nice to people over the years, I am not sure I have ever had that kind of status to donate. I mean maybe people are trying to create that with me as a famous writer.  But anyway, I think that is enough to say about it.  

I don't know if other people can see what I am talking about. How much cooler these guys were than me and how much they treated me like a legitimate friend. I mean gay, mentally ill, nerdy, low class.  I just hope God does something for them because He sees it perfectly.

So anyway, I guess that is today's post, have a great day everyone!

 Gice I do not know if the meter or rhythm is right on that poem on the poems blog. But it is okay.  I like the order of the poems ok.  And it is a good hobby that has been restarted. I truly am starting my career over and trying again.

I boosted some more posts on my art pages and saw that wow the blob posts don't get as high numbers. But I think that is facebook's choice. I do not know why. I think they like to support things that are changing the world and not just decorative.

Anyway I felt the bad feeling for a while earlier and I do not know why.  Then I listened to some music and was okay. It is taking a while for my posts to start sharing. I do not know why. It could be because that groundhog post is still sharing.

At about 9 am I will probably go to that grocery store.  However I did think about trying an instacart order. Like what if I did a lot of beans and corn and rice.  Just to stock up.  Well the point for that is to use the OTC.  My case manager said to check amazon fresh and see if they take OTC. So I will check that. Maybe I should check that right now.

I am not that bothered that facebook is messing with me.  Maybe they are planning out the routes for the algorithms.  I mean something tells me that is automated.  But I do not really know.

I am trying to get to 99 million. I think after this share then I am essentially at 100 million.  It could be give or take ten million.  I mean I think it is more likely to be 85 than 110.  But if you do the money numbers it adds up to 110 million.  But without the organic reach it is about 90 million. Or maybe 85.  

But I am also counting my lifelong facebooking on my other page.  And I think that is a cool mil.  So that is really 2 cool mil for that page.  But those numbers are in the charts for the recent account. 

Anyway sorry if that is annoying.  

I had ups and downs on valentine's day. Actually some pretty deep depression feelings a few times. I think it was from that whole prayer machine thing, and then the reminder that the books haven't sold, and a feeling that people are going to steal all my work.  Well probably it will be okay, and one sign of that is the security of my pen name.

But anyway I also felt good sometimes.  And then when I had the bad feeling it is a reminder to be thankful for when I feel okay.

Well, I think I did right for today.  I will take my medicine probably at about noon.  I want to go to the bible study though. I need to send Ken an email.  Maybe he was seeing if I pray for them.  Well that is most interesting.  The thing is that I do pray in my own way.

The other thing is that my waking hours are when everyone else is asleep.  So I do not call and keep up like I want to.  So that is too bad.  But I think I will fix it over the next week or so.

Well, that is all.  Now I will investigate groceries.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Feb 14, Valentine's Day. 

I hope everyone is doing okay. I am doing okay and slept through most of the day because I did not take my medicine until 9 am.  I went to a spirituality group today and honestly some people were losers. Like the same bullcrap anti-christianity. I feel sorry for them. It is certain people. It is a familiar pattern.  At some point I should just say I am tired of it and feel sorry for them. I do not know where their arrogance came from, like if they were in a good mood one day and thought themselves spiritually superior. 

But anyway I just felt like I would say it because wow who needs that.  But I was late today and some people were nice. I don't go much because the group mostly took a new age turn toward a consistent belief in certain reincarnation purposes.

So anyway I heard from Ravneet and she is supporting me going to the grocery store tomorrow morning hopefully. I think I will go at ten oclock and walk to that far store with the cart.

My facebook posts did well and hit 1.5. I am hitting ten thousand per dollar on some posts.  I think that is the raise I got for longevity.  So I should keep posting. I might create more images soon on canva and bing. I mean should I do that later tonight? Hmm I do not know.

I think I am at about 98 million views.  It could be only 85 if I am wrong about organic reach.  But I think I am right about it and am also accounting for about 3 million views that I accidentally deleted when I had to stop some ads that didn't have a scheduled ending.  

I could send around the two poems but I don't know if I want to do that gallbladder image. I think it is okay but I am just not sure it is a good enough poem. I am sometimes having trouble knowing which audience to send to.  Because when I do both America and India it sometimes doesn't go to America.

I saw disturbing images of detention centers for ten thousand people at a time.  That is not a happy site.  I don't know why we couldn't just do citizenship for people. 

I think in some ways we have to ask God for help and see a new future where America is a piece of crap country and the things God does in our lives are kind of independent of or under a bad government.

One of my goals is to not blame it all on guys watching inappropriate things on TV.  That might be it or it might not be it.  In terms of why we are missing leadership of actual good people.

Well, that is all for today. I wrote two new poems but did not put them in that book. I feel happy that I can use that self control and not change the book other than fixing that missing letter. I fixed the glossy print status too and now it will be better. I am working on a new thin book but I need to be patient because the poems are already a thin book. Maybe I will find some blog posts for it but really I am not sure I have that much material yet. I hd thirteen pages of memes and poems.  So I need to be patient. I might write something else biographical. But I forgot what it was. Do you guys remember? I think I emailed it to myself two weeks ago.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, did you guys like my new poems? I think they are good.  I have one more but it is not that great. I just went to the post office and picked up the next round of joke and library books. I might not rush distribution.  But who knows, maybe next week I will feel like getting it done.  I think for now I will just be glad about what I sent last week. I hope I did not intrude on people's Valentine's Day.

I was not able to go to the grocery store today. I think I will try to go tomorrow morning. I think I will postpone medicine until noon and see if I can go in the morning. That will probably be okay and eventually I will skip a day and be back to 9 pm medicine.

I got three frozen meals at Walgreens for 7 dollars each. I think that is an okay deal. I did not buy valentine's chocolate but got two Whatchamcallits. And ice cream snickers.

I think I am okay to wait and get the fixins for chili tomorrow or even Sunday. But I think it will be tomorrow. Wow I am tired of politics and the liberal slash religious divide.  I mean maybe that means stay off media.  But I like facebook and my posts are doing well.

The fun thing this time was 165 shares for the groundhog post.  I think that is funny. Most of the viewers are women older than me.  That is kind of okay with me but I think it is from facebook cheating and lying.  Because the audience I selected was 18-65 and they always give me over 65.

But anyway my India posts are doing well. I might revisit and click like on comments but sometimes I can't scroll that much because my computer overheats.  That groundhog post is running at 10 thousand people per dollar.  So that is great and fun. I mean some people could say why couldn't that be a hundred dollar post but it just wasn't.  The other posts are okay too. I think the bird post could have reached more people but it is okay. I will be at a cool mil.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Wednesday, Feb 11. I just walked to a food station but had really wanted to go to the grocery store today. However, it was so cloudy when I went outside that I felt I should wait until tomorrow.  Probably that will be fine and I will get the fixins for chili. As it is I ate some chicken curry and it was yummy but could use more sauce.  However I still feel good about the food for today. But now my account is depleted and I have to be more careful tomorrow.  But it is good to be careful anyway and buy the OTC designated foods.

What is left is some pork and mystery food which will be good later. I wanted that creamed corn again but it was not there. Also today I ordered snacks from Instacart. And I sadly did not give Salvador and his mom a poetry book and art book.  It was such a terrible fumble.  But I left a good tip online but it is not the same.  However I do not need to grovel in the regret. 

Will I feel bad about those poems? I actually have one more but I am not posting it. There are actually two about liberals that I am keeping to myself.  I do not know if all my friends left me but I know I will write what seems good and if it gets wasted, people can be corrected on Judgement Day.

What do you guys think about the soup I bought? I think it was a good purchase.

I miss Ravneet. She helped me feel better this morning. I did not expect to post all that facebook stuff today but I think I will be glad. I think I can say that when these posts finish, I will be at 97 million views.  One of my accounts disappeared, though, and I am not sure the organic reach is as much on the new pages.  Because the organic reach for the jokes page was 5.5 million plus the 30 million views.  And I estimated that it would be the same for these pages.  But these pages only have 3 thousand followers instead of 300 thousand followers, so I am not sure the organic reach accumulated the same way.  And yet it might have.  Also, it is about 55 or 60 million views for the art pages.  And 3 million that got erased on the records. So I always add those accounts and then add 11 million and 3 million.  That puts me at about 95 million.  But I am ready to be at 97 million and might estimate a little higher and maybe guess one million from my normal page where I did videos for 300k people this year.  And then I think last year is added to that.  So maybe I can definitely just round it up a little bit.  I mean I don't know. I always have had guilt sometimes about lying to myself.  That was from being gay and not feeling like myself.  It wasn't really my fault. I think God understands. 

Last night I read Jane Eyre and it was great. I am on chapter 23.  I didn't realize it was such a romance novel.  I really didn't perceive that as a kid until the end. It is just actually kind of funny because there is so much physical description of Mr. Rochester.  

Well, have a nice day everyone.

 Ok everyone, that is weird, but I posted the other valentine and sent it to India. It worked out well. Kind of weird that I also did the rabbit but I think it is okay. I feel good about these posts even though it is pushing the budget a little bit. In fact I think I need to check the discover card account.  

That took a lot out of me so now it is harder to go to the store. But I believe I can do that soon.  And yet what if I wait until tomorrow. I actually could wait until tomorrow. I will just see how I feel in thirty minutes or an hour.

What am I going to eat for lunch. I should have thawed some chicken. Maybe I will make some rice. I think at the store I will get some beans and corn, and grits and cheese and I don't know. I mean maybe wait until tomorrow.

Does anyone have any thoughts about my valentines? A lot of people suffer at valentines. There is a lot of suffering and I think that the next generations are deciding how to live.

Gice what a fumble earlier but maybe that guy needed some cash.

Ok I need to check the account and make sure I did not forget about a whole round of boosts.

 Hello everyone, thanks for the feedback, it really made me laugh. 

Ok here is the new image. I think it is better but for some reason might use the other one.

But this is good too:

 Hello everyone I hope they find the missing person soon. 

I read the section for book club. It was great.

Now it is 3:22. I think I will try to take my medicine at 4 am.

I hope I didn’t ruin people’s Valentine’s Day by mailing books. I kind of feel like I might have caused a distraction in some cases.

But anyway I think they did not find the person yet and I was hoping they would.

I missed second tuesdays tonight with WFYL. I just forgot and did not notice the reminder.

So that is too bad but I might still talk to Kate another time soon.

I will mail Angel a poetry book soon but possibly not tomorrow. Tomorrow is a grocery day.

I might order on Instacart.

I don’t really feel like boosting that groundhog post.

I mean maybe I will soon.

But I do not know.

I just feel like my facebook friends are not seeing my posts. 

Gice my poems aren’t that good sometimes are they. I mean let’s be honest, but sometimes they are good.

Well have a great day everyone.

 Hello everyone, it is Wednesday. Feb 11 at 1 am. I just wrote a poem.  It is fine but doesn't have any layers of genius.  Possibly with these rhymes I could start thinking of some double meaning or something sometimes.  But I think people might underestimate the value of an interesting poem that rhymes well and makes sense about something interesting.  

Anyway, I might read some of Jane Eyre soon for my book club. That poem took a lot of out of me, mainly because I noticed a mistake in the other poem.  I don't think the mistake was a punishment for being wrong.

I also shared a groundhog meme and will see how that goes.  I mean honestly I might hear back from three or four people about it. That is weird to me, and sad.  I mean our society had so many blessings, and people just tore it up.  And they are just going to let the automated systems drain the cash as violence and poverty take over.

Well that is not necessary to go into right now. I am just glad that I had another poem that to me makes sense and is okay. How many people are mad at me or care, I do not know.

In my mind I can see a vision of my life that is near the Toys R Us parking lot and Jason's Deli.  And it is full of respect and discipline.  And it is also a full good life, so I should not play the martyr.

Well, that is all. I just felt that I had to say something because I was embarrassed when I saw that I repeated the word "year" in that poem.  So that was bad but it is okay.

I think that at 2 am I will read the Jane Eyre chapters and then take medicine at 4 am.  And then at about noon or one I will either walk to the grocery store or order on instacart. 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Tuesday, Feb 10. I did not do much today. I talked to one phone-a-friend, wrote one poem, drank coffee, sent one message to a friend, filled out a short online application, and I think that is all. And now it is 6 pm.  I am going to two online groups hopefully, and I need to make some kind of food.  Will it be rice and chicken broth, possibly.  Or cereal. Tomorrow I think I will go to the grocery store and I will possibly order some snacks on Instacart.

I did not go to the post office today but had a busy post office week last week. People are probably receiving their books today and tomorrow. 

My facebook numbers are so low without ads. It makes me sad, so unfortunately I had to write a poem about how much I don't appreciate that.

I am listening to a video interview right now and this writer named Marilyn McEntire just said that her genre is "the handout." I find that to be extremely comical.

I am having trouble waiting for the query response. I hope it is positive and yet I still have this self-publishing thing going, so maybe that is what I should focus on.

I need to call my mom soon but I guess that will be tomorrow.

Do you gice think I was too mean in my poem.  Well obviously I have had some good times and blessings on facebook but my friends were precious to me and they are gone.  How could they just take our social lives and make money from it. I mean the thing is that they could have done both.  We could have the social lives and they could have the money but they just took it all and deliberately made everyone an addict with attention span problems.  I mean to apply the science like that.  How sick and sad.

Ok, that is all.  People who celebrate the converts to democrat crowds that happened in recent years should realize that it could have been so many more people and literally the whole country if they had not treated their own friends with such cruelty, betrayal, and hypocrisy.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Sunday, Feb 8. I had a great day today and attended online church and my children's book critique group.  Yesterday I was at a conference and it was great.  

Just now I ate microwave macaroni and cheese and I ate it too fast.  Now I have a full feeling and anxious breathing.  But it is okay. 

I tried to go to my Sunday night bible study and there was another meeting in progress so I missed it. I do not know why. I do feel the loss feeling like I missed out.  I think part of it had to do with saving the books for other people. I think I am going to send Sharon Elliot a message and see if she wants one.  I just gathered some books for Allison McCord and it is a good little box full.

I did not watch the super bowl. Also I do not know which friends are mad at me or hate me for being "silent."  Well I actually might start sharing more soon.  I mean like writing opinions.

I need to figure out where to send the class sets of thin books. I do not know if I will make an announcement or send messages but I think Katherine Cooper and Haley Gambrell have donated their possibles to whoever wants them instead.

Anyway I feel okay and hopeful.  What should my follow-ups be for the conference.  Well I do not know.

I might have really missed out from not doing networking but I think it is okay. 

Well have a good day everyone.

 So I think it is five hours until the conference. Maybe people think I should be taking my medicine soon.  But I think I will take it at 3 am. I mean is something going on that I don't know? I don't like being in the mob thought bubble nyt hypocrit factory.  But I am left leaning and see my black friends from high school as being pretty reliable reactors to factors.

Factor Reactors.

So anyway, it's not that big of a deal. Does no one show up to the Golden Kite party? That was so weird. I mean the tables were mostly empty but I am sure this conference must be so full.

Well, that is all for now. I just think once I go to sleep then it will be hard to wake up for the conference.  Are you guys wondering if I should skip medicine? Hmm I do not know. I think I will take the medicine and set an alarm. 

Well I still think I will leave that post up. I mean who did I lose, everyone? That is okay. I think certain friends are my real friends but might have waves of true disgust.  

I didn't confess to slurs if that is how some people perceive it.  I just feel like people deserve not just condolences but apologies. Like for people to admit that they themselves are not totally innocent.

But wow there are some people who want me to be worse than I am.  And it is interesting because who are my true friends? Some people frankly aren't sometimes.  They bullied me. But I guess I already established that with those poems.

Maybe that is the issue.  Hmm I guess it could be. But I think those poems were real crowd-pleasers.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Ok possibly I have missed some news because my little apology on facebook was not very popular. But it was what I felt like saying. I think possibly one issue was that I said "everyone." Well I decided not to say "black friends." But the black friends are who I was sincerely apologizing to.

But the person who clicked like is I think a right winger.  I am surprised that she is a right winger, too.  Though I could be wrong.

I mean have I already lost a lot of facebook friends, I do not know. I mean maybe most people blocked me.  Some people are off facebook. But I saw posts from friends who seem genuinely hurt by certain very official offenses.  

And I can't speak for the other people who I sympathize with and agree that they are persecuted and framed.  Because really I don't know by now that those people don't agree with the bad person in calling other people names.  I mean is that it?  Are people really saying that?

Because I don't see it that way.  I think there are a lot of bad people who deserve to be called any name.  But most people don't deserve that disrespect from the main leader of the country.

I mean maybe I should watch the news.

But anyway I will let people think what they think.  

I need to take a shower and maybe I will do that soon. It is already 2 am. A lot of my friends are still awake. I think they are making sure to not appropriate people. I think my friend Jadon said hello.  

I need to mail a joke book to Bronx poets. I should make a list.  Echo Church Steven Zeier, Bronx Poets, Jackson Taylor, Billy and Sarah. Regis. So maybe two library, three joke for Echo.  Maybe Vivian would like one. I just felt like I sent a lot to Karyn and I am not sure they reached anyone and I don't know why.  Because it wasn't that easy choosing them and why couldn't they go to the group members.

Anyway I don't care what people think. I just felt like I should say something instead of nothing.

 Gice I went to a children's book conference and it was very fun.  Tomorrow is another day of it. I need to send an email but will do that in the morning. 

Something happened this afternoon and I had to help a friend. I think it went well and I was able to be there for her.

Then I met people at a cool conference and it was really fun. What was weird is that there were not many people at this part of the conference. We were there to congratulate winners of an award.  But literally there were only like twenty or thirty people who showed up to talk to the people.  So that is weird. I made some friends.  I need to look up their names though. 

I am having some anxiety and asthma at night but it is okay.  Today I mailed books to hospital people and it made me happy.  It was weird how it was kind of belated but the timing felt right.

I feel like I might have said the wrong thing in part of my discussion tonight but it is okay. I said I did not feel blessed in the distribution of my books but in the content I did.  Well I do not know if that was good because part of the conversation was also about how my pen name was safe.  And that is a blessing for sure. It has gone well. I had to be patient and still think it would have been stronger for me to start off successful but this route is very secure as well.

I am so disturbed by the politics and news.  But honestly some of it is the usual stuff. 

Tonight I might not get much sleep because I am waking up early tomorrow. I am going to try to meet people at the conference and be of service. 

I think I will also order some more books and take another appointment's worth of funding from my therapy.  But the goal is to stay in the group indefinitely. So mainly I just need to not jeopardize that.

Let's see. I think that Monday is a holiday so then two more groups in February and then four in March.  I need to plan my trip to Greenville. I have to buy a train ticket for that.  So that means I need to talk to my mom first and get her help with the ticket. I mean maybe I should do that for this next deposit.

I feel like I should call my sister tomorrow too.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Friday, Feb 6.  Not everyone will want a free poetry book but I have given away about 65 books in the new year.  I think I will order some more library books and joke books from the BBT account and mail some more. I will try to get to some more vermont people. I am glad I sent some to hospital people. Because frankly I think they have given very sacrificially to New York and me in particular.

I think I did okay with that but I wanted to tell the social worker that my life had gotten better.

So anyway, Ravneet said we sold some poetry books from that recent facebook share. I am guessing that it is 50 max but probably more like 11 or 12.  So she made about 20 dollars.  That is actually one of my more high profit books.  But that is a great sign of sales.  Any sales are a good sign that there could be a lot of sales on a national level.  

Ok very soon is the children's book conference.  I bought some ice cream and orange soda from Walgreens. I am okay on food for this cold weekend.  And then Tuesday it starts to be back to normal.  People are smoking a lot here and I hope that there is not a fire.  And yet most fire alarms would be from their smoking and not from them doing something like dropping a doobie on their sleepign bag or something. I have said before that I am just as much of a risk with my cooking.  Maybe slightly less but I think I am not above anyone here in some regards.  In some ways I do better but in a lot of ways all our disability is very level.

Anyway I do not know if I should say that.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Thursday, Feb 5. I just went to the post office, mailed the packages, and then got some food from three places. It is yummy food that I got and I am thankful. 

I had an appointment today with an insurance nurse practicioner who did a health assessment.  Next year I will turn it down.  I couldn't put my finger on why it depressed me but I figured it out that it was probably racism.  The person did not want a joke book and did some power plays, including three painful blood pressure monitorings. And it really isn't right for any of the health care itself to be in insurance hands.  I think they will try to keep me from turning down preventative care, but I will take them to court in a "heartbeat."

I think what people didn't expect is that I am going to refuse heart treatment, and soon that will also include blood pressure.  And my reason is that there was no court case for either two year torture periods.  People made their choice.

The racism is starting up on facebook again, and in my neighborhood. I think the democrats have made a mistake and they will lose the race war that they started. But I kind of favor some of their policies over the right wing abuses.

At the post office I was told that my mailers might not be strong enough to make it through a machine. Next time I need to tape a cross all around the package.  I should have figured that out by now, but I have been mailing packages for four years. It might be part of their training to make you fear that your packages are not going to get there.  Also I kind of think that once it is in their hands, it is their job to make sure it gets there correctly, so they should not tear it up with a machine. For them to say, sorry, we tear up the packages with a machine, isn't really right.

But anyway, I wasn't expecting these bad feelings today, and there were good things to be happy about, like the good food and the sunshine.  

But there was another societal thing which is that both entrances to my mental health campuses were blocked, and I had to go out in the street to walk anywhere.  And then somewhere else, the side walk was blocked illegally by other random people.  But I walked through their roped off area and got where I was going.  I did not report them but they were asking for it.  

Anyway I am sad about that and wonder what the meaning is. It could have to do with Judgement Day and however I am meant to sort out rewards for people when I am on the gameshow committee.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I just packed up 17 more books to mail out tomorrow. I will need to take my cart. I believe I can do it and it will go well. If you are reading this and you are one of the people, it is not a valentine's present. I have a girlfriend named Ravneet.

I think I didn't do perfect and I forgot about the creature comfort book, but it probably worked out. Three people are getting a creature comfort book, three people are getting a library book, and I think there are four joke books in the mix.

I am really enjoying seeing the pictures of the groundhog going to cancun or being in jail.  There are a lot of memes like that and it is really funny to me. It is funny that people are using the same jokes but doing different ai renditions.

Right now it is 6:22.  I talked to a phone a friend earlier and I don't know if I did okay but it was nice and made me feel less isolated.

I felt okay today but at night last night felt pretty bad. But I am caught up on medicine and will probably sleep okay.  People were loud outside my door today.  And I didn't need that torture from my mom. It made me wonder if my sister is having problems, but I did not call her. I just don't need to be tortured.

So anyway, I am glad to get these books moving. I think that I will take some of them to the Nami event on the 21st if I can keep them for that long.  Like maybe 7 horizon cows and 7 creature comforts.  

Anyway, it is also good to focus on that instead of being totally distracted by the facebook shares.

At 7 I have my support group and wait a minute I miscalculated some stuff.  I need to finish reading the section of Jane Eyre for my book group. I read four chapters but we have twelve due.

So okay, I will do that right now. I do not know if I did okay.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Wednesday, Feb 4 at 11:50 am.  I just went to the post office and it as a good walk. I gave away 6 more books which totals 25 for recently. That is very good.  About 5 joke books, 5 library books, and some horizon cows and mice series.

The mice series go fast when I have them so it could be good to order more.

I do not know if any are selling online but it does not seem like it.

The cops did their intimidation when I walked home. Possibly i am under threat because of medicine, but maybe people are letting me know that I will not be having a manic episode. But I am not worried about that. I am worried about feeling like crap and being taken somewhere to be tortured for the rest of my life as my book business disappears.

Anyway I am probably okay. I talked to someone from my old mental health program and thought about how nice it would be to have a mental health program but too many of the staff people were racist.  

It is so weird. I believe it will eventually all be seen for what it is.

I think for some reason I am supposed to be ridiculed for my books so the young people of the future have a certain perspective about it.  But I feel bad for people because their bullying is real.

Anyway I also went to Taco Bell and was going to go to Popeyes but could not get to that intersection because of construction.  Possibly I will venture out later and go get Thai food.  I mean I do not know.  But in a way it is more efficient to go to that area because I don't have to backtrack.

Well, I am glad to be able to give away some books. It is meaningful to me and makes me feel like my work is not wasted. And it is always cool people who I am thankful to be friends with.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Wednesday at 9:30. I thought an insurance assessment person was coming to visit me today but it is tomorrow. I did not sleep well last night but I took my medicine. I do not know if I will go to the store today. Maybe I could walk to Key Food and not go all the way to that other store. I think I might do that at about noon and get some exercise.  Going to starbucks isn't a bad idea either. I miss Ravneet.

That poetry boost is over now and I finished the book. I think I will read over it again for fun. It is weird how it took over my whole mind. And then for a couple of days I did not think about it as much but did not know what to think about.

I am so tired of the political problems.  I wish things were better.  

I feel better now that it is day time. I like being awake during the day so maybe I will try to fix my sleep schedule.

Today I am going to clean my apartment a little bit.

My therapist is out of town this week. I hope I will be okay. It is at night that I don't feel good.

My mom triggered me yesterday, and a friend, but it could have been worse but was pretty bad. My mom was going through my books because a flood made her have to move all my stuff out of a room.  So some of that is beyond my control,  but I do not like it when she goes through my stuff.  And she wants me to sell books to a store that probably won't buy them.  And that is what she does to control me is find stuff like that to nag me about.  That was part of how she tortured me when I lived at home for my MFA.

The text from my friend last night actually made me feel better and then later I felt bad again.

I think I need to send some messages to see who wants free books.

 hello everyone, this is refried. i had some ups and downs today. i woke up feeling good and wen to get water and food. then i went to two meetings but missed one. i had a trauma trigger yesterday and one today, and my therapist is going to be out of town this week.  so i think i will call some peers.

tomorrow morning i am getting a home visit from insurance. I have liked these visits in the past but I am not sure I agree with putting the doctor's care within the insurance company. I think that might be questionable. But definitley I won't be the one fixing society.

I feel the political hatred and it feels too personal.

I don't see enough posts from friends on facebook.

I think I will start feeling better soon and go to sleep, but every time I take my medicine, I feel bad for a while. I am worried that I got escalated and didn't realize it. It could have been from the office today. But I had to skip a dose to go get water. I do not respect people who punish me for htat. I do not respect the people who ruined my health and medicine. 

I guess i will listen to music and see if that helps.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Tuesday, Feb 3. I just took another walk and got some food.  I got prepared food which was an idea I had not thought of.  I got a sandwich, a calzone, and a biscuit.  And then a few extras.  So I think that is for this next two days.  And then I can eat cereal and rice for the weekend.  Then I will start taking normal grocery trips.

This was a weird storm and I can tell people are shaken up by it.  But some people are out there working like normal.  I might order Thai food and that will be the lobster dinner that I thought I would do this week.  I could use a credit one card.

I mean when would I do that. I am thinking I would do that tomorrow, and I would have leftovers on Thursday. I mean am I a being a hog or something? I think it is okay and I am doing the best I can.

Something happy is that I just gave away four joke books at the deli.  Two to workers and two to customers. And they were really happy. So that is fun.  Plus the books I mailed today is fourteen for the day. So let's see, 12, 30, 42, 60, 72. I guess I still have a lot left to give away.

I think I won't send any messages today but might send some tomorrow and mail some books Thursday if I feel like it.  But I don't know.  But definitely that was enough for today. It does change everything to be giving some away to happy recipients.

So anyway I need to fix the art mart photo situation but it is okay. I know that some people won't like it, but I could not help it at the time.

So okay, it is about 2 pm. Maybe rest and then do messages.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday, Feb 3. I just went to the post office to pick up three packages and mail two.  It went well.  There are still some snowy parts of the sidewalk. I also got some water from Walgreens.  So I am thankful for that.  A lot of people were outside.  It was a lot of disabled people and generally people were not that happy.  

I am so glad I got some sleep and feel rested. I do not think I will go back out today but I do not know. I could see myself taking a shopping bag and going to a store for some rations.  However I might do that tomorrow instead. I could do the same exact loop.

I think the water was the key thing to get. And other than that, I can make pumpkin soup, spaghetti, chicken, cereal, and oatmeal. However I do think during one of these three warmer days I should go to the store.  

Today I think I should catch up on messages and calls. 

That was a key excursion. I am glad it went well. Do you gice think I should take another trip at about 3 pm. Well I might if I feel like it.

The new Art Mart cover looks good. I am happy with it. That is a cool book. 

The lack of book sales and career loss is sickening to me.  There is a proverb that says how good for the heart it is for your desires to come true.  And how something deferred makes the heart sick.  And I feel that someone chose that for me and was wrong and millions could have been helped if things had taken even half of a normal path.

But anyway, a different society will be blessed someday, and our bullcrap people will start over in heaven.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I feel better. I do not really know what I did that helped. But I have decided to postpone medicine and go to the post office at 9 am. I think I have to go the long way. And then I will try to go to Key Food.

Hopefully they have some soups. Maybe I will get some potatoes. And cheese and sour cream.

My feeling that things were going to change is mostly gone. That was from recent weeks. But I at least for now feel ok in my current situation. I didn’t for a while a few hours ago because I got triggered. I don’t really appreciate that.

The SNL skits were not a relief but I would probably be entertained now by some of it. I just sometimes feel the political problems and the hate, which I think is sometimes felt towards me personally, and truly for no reason. But I won’t go into a rant because I think I have some real friends who are not that mad at me. 

I mean I don’t know. What a weird mess, I feel like it could have been different. But anyway do you Gice like my poems from last week? I am having a hard time in the cold but I think maybe going to the grocery store today and tomorrow and maybe even the next day will help me feel better. And maybe go to an online church event. Because honestly sometimes I think they hate me but that might not be true.

I have two packages to mail and I hope they have the packages that probably got here last week. But you know what, they might not, and it will be okay.

Well, have a good day, maybe if people are in a bad mood they can make fun of people’s religion and identity while saying you shouldn’t do that.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday, Feb 3. I had a good evening and went to group therapy online, and then my writers group.  Then I talked to two friends on the phone.  One friend is in a crisis and I didn't know how to help her so I told her to get sleep and try to figure it out in the morning. I might call her tomorrow and suggest that she seek help at a hospital.  But I felt that no matter what I suggest, it will not help, and she is going to do whatever she thinks is best, and every time I think I understand the situation, I don't.

So that kind of scrambled me tonight.  And I need to go to the post office tomorrow and might skip meds tonight and go in the morning.  Daniella said that it is normal to miss meds sometimes.  So I think I have permission to do that for one day and see how I feel.  But I think in the afternoon I will feel sick because of the Latuda wearing off.  And I have three meetings at night.

So honestly I am kind of shaken up and might take my medicine at 2 am and do the errands in the afternoon instead. I mean maybe I could get up at noon and go to the post office and store at 2 pm. 

Well I do not know. I might watch some SNL videos to try to get my mind off of it all. It really bothered me. But those were two phone a friends, and two from Saturday, and then Justin and Jay soon hopefully.

I have completed my poem extravaganza and ended with a finale of an actual magazine submission.  But it is a long shot, because I already posted all the poems on my blog.

I miss my facebook friends and feel their absence as my recent post reaches people in India and not America.  But I got 300 views from America in the week before last.

I want to order my new book but I have to wait until the final update posts tomorrow morning.  Then I will order about ten copies. But I want to order about 30 copies but I can't.  But I could do ten at normal and then 15 or 20 as author copies.

I keep clicking on the wrong classical music video and being bothered.

Well, that is all for now.  I will probably post again later. 

 Gice I think that was a traumatizing little paranoia spell, to think I had messed up the meter on all the poems I ever wrote.  But I did improve those three in question. I mean that was weird, what does it mean, I do not know.  Possibly it had to do with the cross being shared, so that made me get in a success zone before.  What do you gice think? 

Well I do not know. But I am sure people are tired of my obsession about it all.

Gice this cold weather really wore me out and I just saw that it is coming back next weekend. For a few days it will be in the thirties.  But that is still cold at certain times of day. I think I need to watch the news.

I don't know if I will go downtown this week after all.

I hope people like my poems on that blog.

I might ask for a partial scholarship to the conference. Maybe I will send Becky an email tomorrow.

Now what, maybe get my mind off things.  

Well, thanks everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Feb 1 at 10 pm. I am doing okay. I fixed that poem and feel better. The book is fine but I will update it one mroe time with a poem I left out.  

This week I might go downtown and go to a restaurant.  Ok now I am listening to my church service.

I think today is the last day of the cold storm. Tomorrow it will be 33 degrees. I will try to go to the post office and maybe the grocery store or go get water.

Then maybe I will send messages to see if people want a free book.

But I wonder if people want the rhymes book. Well I do not know.

I think I don't really have anything new to say in this post. 

I just have a hard time tolerating it when people see a wrong poem.

So maybe take the time to get it right. But it is okay.

Most of them are fine. That is the relief. A few poems made me doubt all of them but just fix those.

So anyway are people mad. Some people might be but I am saying my thoughts.

Gice my 3rd shift schedule makes me not call as many people.

But I think also it is healthy to not need a team of phone people constantly.

Ravneet got worn out some during all this.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Gice i know the poetry meter is mostly good

but do i depend on people to find it too much sometimes?

the idea is if people read it naturally, it would still have meter

here is one of the rhymes in question:

"An empty church could be a sign of people who don’t sing,

Or it could be a humble and disguised commissioning."

possibly people would naturally read it like this:

OR it could be a HUM ble and dis GUISED

but I want them to say "or IT could BE a HUMble AND dis GUISED"

it is hard for me to know because some people can't read rhyme.  but some think that those people do read rhyme if the rhyme is right.  but i think you have to get into it like rap.

Any thoughts? I will ask my friend Claire Bateman.

She said it is okay but later I figured out the solution:

"Am empty church could be a sign of people who don't sing,

But maybe it's a humble and disguised commissioning."

I think most of my rhymes are fine. There could be a few issue but I was worried that I had messed it up on all the poems I ever wrote.  But I think they are fine. So the new book is cool. I still have one more upload because I left off a poem. I do not know when I will post it.

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. It is Sunday, Feb 1. That is a day that Converse classes used to start. It is 4:17. I just uploaded the final rendition of the poetry book.  It has queer factors now and I think it is good and will help people. 

I did not fix that mistake that DBB reminded me to fix. I just forgot and then didn't bother. But I am not tormented by it but possibly sometime I will wish it was right and I will fix it. I think it is one of those mistakes where people can tell what it should have said. But the book is not riddled with that. Most of the poems are right.

I do think that people kind of have to force the rhythm sometimes and try more than once to see how to say it, but that is how rhymes are.

This is a cool book. I am glad I added more poems. If I think of more than I will start a new book.  Interestingly the book really feels done to me. I don't think I need to add any more poems though there was space for one more on a page. Most of the pages have multiple poems.

Thanks everyone for being there for me and helping me get through the storm.  Congrats to all areas who kept their power. And prayers for everyone else. The prayer opportunities in these days are great.  So I am happy for people because a lot of people pray. 

Now it is 4:30. In about two hours it will be time for bible study. I wish I could have played games but it was 7 degrees when I would have needed to take the long way to the train station. 

Really I need to go buy water. But I will try to do that tomorrow, but it will not be easy. I am glad it did not snow again today. God was good to us. I hoep we praise him enough because I think sometimes he does things like providing zoom calls and facebook and he doesn't get a lot of public credit.  But maybe people do thank him in their mind.

So anyway that is all. I will reread my book a little bit and revisit other books. I am trying to reread blob mentality and think about how I feel about it.

Did anyone feel targeted by my judgement day post? I think kids will get a kick out of it. I think teens will like this book. I think I ahve helped them and in the bio I said social work so some kids can discover that as a great career option.

Well have a great day everyone.

 Hello everyone,  I took my medicine and feel ok. It is about 8 am Sunday. I am not going downtown today and am sad to miss out but simply can't do some things sometimes. I am just glad today is the last day of the winter cold storm. Wow, it was an interesting experience.

My book update went through and now I have one last rendition but think I should wait a day. But maybe I shouldnt. Like maybe just upload it and be done. And yet it is a bit much.

Well, that is all fr now. Thanks for helping me everyone.