Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday, Feb 3. I had a good evening and went to group therapy online, and then my writers group.  Then I talked to two friends on the phone.  One friend is in a crisis and I didn't know how to help her so I told her to get sleep and try to figure it out in the morning. I might call her tomorrow and suggest that she seek help at a hospital.  But I felt that no matter what I suggest, it will not help, and she is going to do whatever she thinks is best, and every time I think I understand the situation, I don't.

So that kind of scrambled me tonight.  And I need to go to the post office tomorrow and might skip meds tonight and go in the morning.  Daniella said that it is normal to miss meds sometimes.  So I think I have permission to do that for one day and see how I feel.  But I think in the afternoon I will feel sick because of the Latuda wearing off.  And I have three meetings at night.

So honestly I am kind of shaken up and might take my medicine at 2 am and do the errands in the afternoon instead. I mean maybe I could get up at noon and go to the post office and store at 2 pm. 

Well I do not know. I might watch some SNL videos to try to get my mind off of it all. It really bothered me. But those were two phone a friends, and two from Saturday, and then Justin and Jay soon hopefully.

I have completed my poem extravaganza and ended with a finale of an actual magazine submission.  But it is a long shot, because I already posted all the poems on my blog.

I miss my facebook friends and feel their absence as my recent post reaches people in India and not America.  But I got 300 views from America in the week before last.

I want to order my new book but I have to wait until the final update posts tomorrow morning.  Then I will order about ten copies. But I want to order about 30 copies but I can't.  But I could do ten at normal and then 15 or 20 as author copies.

I keep clicking on the wrong classical music video and being bothered.

Well, that is all for now.  I will probably post again later. 

 Gice I think that was a traumatizing little paranoia spell, to think I had messed up the meter on all the poems I ever wrote.  But I did improve those three in question. I mean that was weird, what does it mean, I do not know.  Possibly it had to do with the cross being shared, so that made me get in a success zone before.  What do you gice think? 

Well I do not know. But I am sure people are tired of my obsession about it all.

Gice this cold weather really wore me out and I just saw that it is coming back next weekend. For a few days it will be in the thirties.  But that is still cold at certain times of day. I think I need to watch the news.

I don't know if I will go downtown this week after all.

I hope people like my poems on that blog.

I might ask for a partial scholarship to the conference. Maybe I will send Becky an email tomorrow.

Now what, maybe get my mind off things.  

Well, thanks everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Feb 1 at 10 pm. I am doing okay. I fixed that poem and feel better. The book is fine but I will update it one mroe time with a poem I left out.  

This week I might go downtown and go to a restaurant.  Ok now I am listening to my church service.

I think today is the last day of the cold storm. Tomorrow it will be 33 degrees. I will try to go to the post office and maybe the grocery store or go get water.

Then maybe I will send messages to see if people want a free book.

But I wonder if people want the rhymes book. Well I do not know.

I think I don't really have anything new to say in this post. 

I just have a hard time tolerating it when people see a wrong poem.

So maybe take the time to get it right. But it is okay.

Most of them are fine. That is the relief. A few poems made me doubt all of them but just fix those.

So anyway are people mad. Some people might be but I am saying my thoughts.

Gice my 3rd shift schedule makes me not call as many people.

But I think also it is healthy to not need a team of phone people constantly.

Ravneet got worn out some during all this.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Gice i know the poetry meter is mostly good

but do i depend on people to find it too much sometimes?

the idea is if people read it naturally, it would still have meter

here is one of the rhymes in question:

"An empty church could be a sign of people who don’t sing,

Or it could be a humble and disguised commissioning."

possibly people would naturally read it like this:

OR it could be a HUM ble and dis GUISED

but I want them to say "or IT could BE a HUMble AND dis GUISED"

it is hard for me to know because some people can't read rhyme.  but some think that those people do read rhyme if the rhyme is right.  but i think you have to get into it like rap.

Any thoughts? I will ask my friend Claire Bateman.

She said it is okay but later I figured out the solution:

"Am empty church could be a sign of people who don't sing,

But maybe it's a humble and disguised commissioning."

I think most of my rhymes are fine. There could be a few issue but I was worried that I had messed it up on all the poems I ever wrote.  But I think they are fine. So the new book is cool. I still have one more upload because I left off a poem. I do not know when I will post it.

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. It is Sunday, Feb 1. That is a day that Converse classes used to start. It is 4:17. I just uploaded the final rendition of the poetry book.  It has queer factors now and I think it is good and will help people. 

I did not fix that mistake that DBB reminded me to fix. I just forgot and then didn't bother. But I am not tormented by it but possibly sometime I will wish it was right and I will fix it. I think it is one of those mistakes where people can tell what it should have said. But the book is not riddled with that. Most of the poems are right.

I do think that people kind of have to force the rhythm sometimes and try more than once to see how to say it, but that is how rhymes are.

This is a cool book. I am glad I added more poems. If I think of more than I will start a new book.  Interestingly the book really feels done to me. I don't think I need to add any more poems though there was space for one more on a page. Most of the pages have multiple poems.

Thanks everyone for being there for me and helping me get through the storm.  Congrats to all areas who kept their power. And prayers for everyone else. The prayer opportunities in these days are great.  So I am happy for people because a lot of people pray. 

Now it is 4:30. In about two hours it will be time for bible study. I wish I could have played games but it was 7 degrees when I would have needed to take the long way to the train station. 

Really I need to go buy water. But I will try to do that tomorrow, but it will not be easy. I am glad it did not snow again today. God was good to us. I hoep we praise him enough because I think sometimes he does things like providing zoom calls and facebook and he doesn't get a lot of public credit.  But maybe people do thank him in their mind.

So anyway that is all. I will reread my book a little bit and revisit other books. I am trying to reread blob mentality and think about how I feel about it.

Did anyone feel targeted by my judgement day post? I think kids will get a kick out of it. I think teens will like this book. I think I ahve helped them and in the bio I said social work so some kids can discover that as a great career option.

Well have a great day everyone.

 Hello everyone,  I took my medicine and feel ok. It is about 8 am Sunday. I am not going downtown today and am sad to miss out but simply can't do some things sometimes. I am just glad today is the last day of the winter cold storm. Wow, it was an interesting experience.

My book update went through and now I have one last rendition but think I should wait a day. But maybe I shouldnt. Like maybe just upload it and be done. And yet it is a bit much.

Well, that is all fr now. Thanks for helping me everyone.