Gice I think this is what I am going to add to the comments:

the efirds were satan's trophy hostages, and then again in 2010, and again in 2022. It will probably happen one more time and that will be all. I can drink four coffees and be gone. 

2002 was a captivity ptsd, 2012 was a combat ptsd, 2023 was captivity, then 2030 will probably be combat again and I'll get hit with an actual bullet. And people will call me a martyr but the real martyrdom was staying alive. 

 But I am hesitating because of some of the actual situations. But in a way I don't hesitate and will stand by any of it but in another way there are people still out there on that other level.

the thing that stopped me was that there wasn't the right spacing on the comments. so then I hit return and it was too early. so then i tried again and doubted it.

but anyway I need to take medicine soon.

here is another possible: my first manic episode was in the new york times, but writing a hundred books wasn't in my hometown newspaper.

i'm leaving off a few things that for some reason I feel are not my jurisdiction. optional but i choose not to in both cases. Really there are three zingers like that.