Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Friday, Dec 26 at 3 am. I have inspection tomorrow and this happened last time that inspection was in the day time. I stayed up late to prepare but couldn't, so then I take my medicine late and it is harder to get up early to get it done then.

But really I don't have that much left to do.  Dishes, trash, table, make bed, clothes in bathroom, counter.

That actually is most of it still left to do but I did take out some trash and put the dishes in the sink.

What do you guys think about Christmas. I felt kind of depressed. I think I should be honest with myself that I do feel depressed sometimes and holidays are hard on me.

I think I should just do the best I can. Maybe allow an hour for cleanup tomorrow so get up at 11. That is 8 hours of sleep if I took my medicine now.  But I only need five hours of sleep.  So I still have three more hours left to maybe chip away at chores.

I think I will order some more joke books and try to do better about giving them away with the creature comfort books.  

Well, that is all. I feel something missing. Some people missing. But live and learn, ups and downs, pros and cons. I think some people think I think inappropriate thoughts all night but I don't. 

Do you gice like this shirt that I washed. I think I will wear it with longsleeves sometimes.

Tomorrow I need to take my friend's christmas card to the post office but it is going to be cold I think and snow at night. I should check the weather.

Well have a great day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is my 800th post on this blog. Before that I had another blog. Should I call my friend who is mad at me? Well I do not know. 

I think now I will eat my remaining taco from Taco Bell, and this is another Christmas that I got through. I wrote three more rhymes today. They are all a little bit cheesy, and yet I believe some people will see their worth. It helped me have a nice day. Possibly there will be some later edits.

I do not know if the likes on my page are from bots, but I think there are some nice people out there who like my art and writing.

I went to an online holiday social from Nami. It was okay and I read my poem and it fit in great.  I feel happy because one of my friends who I was worried about seems okay. So that is a nice holiday miracle. Hmm, is that a thing, a holiday miracle. I think it is.

Well have a great day, everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I think facebook is running my ad now, slowly but surely. Maybe they were giving me a chance to get the poem right.  I think I can only help them through prayer and a lot of people probably share their complaints with them.  But it is Christmas and they are working so that is something kind of crazy to think about. Maybe they are mad but I think I will thank them around New Years. I will send them another message sometime.

It's just that this post meant a lot and was a surprise from God himself and then they messed it up on purpose. And that is a little snap from hell on a nice day.  And the thing is that this isn't that nice of a day for me. It is a survival day where I get through it, but there was something that improved my mood this year.  Yesterday, the review synopsis, and today, the poem.

But I am okay, a lot of people have to work on Christmas. Everyone has their sufferings and relief. I hope a lot of people are having a nice Christmas. I posted little gifs and messages for a lot of people, maybe 80 total, and that is more than I usually see. I don't feel as connected but I am still thankful for everyone I know. I mean who knows, by now maybe a lot of people don't like me. I mean maybe that means something that I see their photos now but they don't like my posts very often.  But some people do. 

So anyway, maybe I will have a good few days as this ad runs.  The other ads made me feel better before Christmas. I mean that is what I do is write, and I am 48. So ups and downs live and learn.

I might not call many more people. I might not rely so much on the phone a friend program but just call random people every now and then.

Well, that was an adventure in mental health. I do not know what is next. Will I do peer work? I do not know. I need to talk to Drena about it. I just don't know how I feel about starting over and being in another unpaid internship scenario when I have the education I need for work. It starts to become a charade with me as the dummy.  Which is what I have said before. But there is a case for letting them do it and make their choice in front of everyone. Hmm. I do not know what I will do. But I feel the tables turning a little bit where the shame is no longer mine, but the other people who bullied me. And they are caught.

 I noticed there were not many likes on my post and realized the ad is not running yet because facebook has stalled it on purpose. I do not know why but it is a familiar feeling when they mess up an ad.  I do not understand why. I mean was it supposed to go to India? I already have posts running in India and they are good. Why did facebook mess up my ad. They are waiting too late. I hope it starts up in the next hour but to me they messed up the natural verve of it and that really upsets me. It hurts me on christmas day. I will tell them that in a message.

 Hello everyone, I feel thankful and content on Christmas Day. The thing that really put me over the top was just now writing a poem that I am happy with. I posted it on facebook and I hope people read it. I was able to use my nativity scene meme and it is a good post. I was not planning on that but it really makes me happy. I said "sorry to be annoying" and I don't know if I should have said that but hopefully it is okay.

I talked to my friend Cynthia and my mom on the phone. I did not do that well and am thinking that my socializing has become somewhat impaired. So that might be something to expect in this new year is maybe some improvement with the books but some decline in socializing. It could make me lonely but hopefully something will work out okay.

There is a peer program that I inquired about but I don't think I can do the internship requirement. So that is kind of weird. Wow I just got deja vu.

So okay. It would be nice to have some yummy food right now but I only have a taco from Taco Bell. But that is good enough. Maybe I will warm it. Maybe some hot chocolate soon. I might take a walk.

Do you guys like my new poem? I think it is really good and I am thankful and feel blessed.

What about calling my friend Claire? I haven't called her because I did not send a present that I was going to send.  But it is not too late. It could be a new years present.

I prayed well last night and I hope that works out well but I wish I had a whole month of good prayers behind me.  But I guess during the new year I will try to improve.

Well, that is all for now. I miss some phone a friends but hope everyone has a good christmas.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I just went to the christmas eve service for my liberal church. It was awesome.  Lots of unexpected surprises. Kind of funny that they did that. Jacqui Lewis made me laugh several times. 

I also ordered the fairy tale books for my nieces. I had them mailed directly to my sister's house. They will get there Saturday. My other presents for them will get there Monday and then probably Wednesday. 

Tomorrow I will call my mom, call my friend Cynthia, maybe text a few people, and eat the taco bell food from today.  I bought some today for the two days. I could go to 7-11 if I need to. 

I just didn't do well this christmas and was late with the presents for some people. I do not know why but it will probably be okay.

Now I might upload the PDF of my novel for the kirkus review. I think in March or May I will try to get one for donut novel.

I think that the kirkus people saw my new book called "Posterity's Disgust." That is not a good first impression but it will be okay.

I am uploading the document but a different one is on the way to them.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Christmas eve and I think one of my churches has a service starting soon. Did people think I was going downtown tonight? I mean maybe I could have. I just think I took two walks and that is all I could do. I didn't really want to go by myself to a concert. But at my church it would be different but I did not keep up with when stuff was.

So anyway, today I went to the post office twice and unfortunately did not receive one of the shirts for my nieces. But I feel like it was a good gift for them. I wonder if I will do a surprise later on that they aren't expecting. I mean I do not know. Would they like a book from me? I do not know. I think they got a lot of Refried Bean books. I forgot I was going to do the fairy tales. So maybe I will do that later on.

I mean I was late, I do not know why. I do not know what the conspiracy had to do with it.  And today I signed up for a kirkus review. I do not know if I should upload the pdf. Maybe I will. I would do that in just a few minutes.

Did I have a good year, maybe.  I do not feel like I did well this year but I attended PHP. And a few days ago I realized that I do still have two careers, writing and social work, but no salary.  I think it is because they figured out that people take stuff from me. So that is weird, there really is a conspiracy.

Anyway, that is interesting. My sister invited my mom over for fondue tonight.  And I gave her a robe two days ago. I do not know what she is doing on christmas day but probably she will be okay. And I will mail a molasses chips gift to her for new years.

I had some ups and downs. Tomorrow I have a few presents to open and I will call my friend Cynthia. 

I can't believe I forgot about the fairy tale books but it is okay. I will order those and mail them with a gift card. It will be a good surprise.  I thought about getting them ray bans but maybe for their birthday.

Well have a great day everyone.