Ok I meant to say this in the other post. I think some people will say, isn’t it more likely that it was one of your old toenails? And the answer is no. For one thing, I don’t pick at my nails until they bleed. For another thing, I didn’t already have MRSA. 

A toenail in my room would not have had MRSA on it. Also, I simply have not pulled off a toenail with a corner of blood.

I mean it is gross but I want to say that I think if you dismiss what I am saying and tell yourself that it was probably one of my toenails then you are really kind of lazy and don’t understand the chain of events.

Ok one more topic while people are discrediting me. I think it is possible that this is my second case of stigmata. I mean that kind of loosely but it happened on exactly the day I had a TLE seizure doing comedy. And when I was doing well in creative writing school that time I had excema on my hands and feet. And it is symbolic in a literary way but also obviously kind of comical also.

Think of your wounds. Is there not an interesting religious interpretation? I just think I am not going to have the real Catholic stigmata but I had these times of successful creativity and that is where my witness is and God marked it with kind of a comical level of embarrassing health problem.

What I am not including was when I had the excema wound on my foot and stepped in NYC puddles. That is dangerous. These health things happen to people on a dirty city and I am thankful I have an explanation for my mysterious illness.

I don’t keep things to myself in the ways some people do. You can earn rewards by not calling yourself a saint.  But I don’t mean it like that. I mean look at God doing interesting things with our lives. 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. There has been an interesting development on the elevator MRSA case.

i believe I tracked it in from my other ER visit. I found something in my sleeping bag that was a hard brown and yellow flake with a black corner. and some fuzzy tiny moldy spots. What do you think that might be? Well I will tell you. It is someone else’s paronchynia treatment. A toenail yanked from an oozing sore.

I tracked it in on my clothes or shoe or something and I  believe that is why I got an out of the ordinary condition. 

This means that it probably is MRSA and not just staph. That is not good but really the antibiotics have worked. So I have one more day on them and need to clean all my clothes and surfaces. But that is what I feel better about. I saw what caused it and as I said in another note it is kind of a point of reference for clean and dirty. Like I need to spray everything and then wash it but a shirt I wore in my chair is not the same as a bloodstained nail with fuzz on it.

I threw it away in a trashcan outside. Maybe the hospital would have appreciated having the evidence for their purposes, but really, we don’t even know if it was pulled off a toe by pliers or if someone shed it later and I stepped on it in the street. It is just very likely from the hospital.

I don’t feel bad though about anything I reported and said and did. I was truthful and told people we didn’t even know if it was MRSA. So I updated all my elevator reports and had a good talk with Karla and Daniella.

It was weird how I found it and was like ew and threw it on the floor and I was like I need to find it. That is it. I mean honestly there could still be a flake so I need to clean clean clean.

So anyway what do you guys think about that. I only did one abuse report based on the MRSA and I updated it. My other reports interestingly were about how the elevator problem was a way of cheating me and taking away my grocery solution. So in some ways not a lot actually changed. I think people are tired of me seeking so much attention for this but honestly it is a hard thing to go through and I have an anxiety disorder too. 

 Ok I figured out the headache yesterday and fatigue was from eating the spicy Indian food a few days ago. So there are no viral symptoms. I think the itchy places might be from dust mites. But who knows it could be something else but I’m not even sure it is unfamiliar.

I don’t know whether to tell Dr Dalmeus about the hypnagogia because I don’t want it treated as psychiatric. 

 Anyway also tonight I went to Toastmasters and loved it.  I think I have to apply to be in the group permanently and it costs 60 dollars.  Well that is worth it if they accept me. I need to read about it some more but I think I will like it a lot.

Something made me laugh at Toastmasters which is there was a guy there who reminds me of one of my rabbit children's book characters.  And it really cracked me up like nothing else has in years.

I mean the comedy of it.  And it reminds me of when I went to the blessing of the animals with my guinea pig named Fred and I felt emotional.  I think that some of my mind is just with animals and that is where I can have normal feelings. I mean think about how my fiction handicap wasn't a problem when I wrote about the mice. Like there was a real story arc instead of a joke form wit structure.

So anyway, I need to google some more stuff and mentally prepare to have some kind of show of forgiveness.  Because I did feel a supernatural lack of anger towards Karla and Daniella. I mean they have done a lot for me but this elevator drama is really bad. I could call the New York Post about it and might.

But it is serious and yet I feel very far away from saying G.D. or anything like that.  I don't feel as loving towards the other 30 bullies that I interacted with to recover from the stairwell disease, but I also don't feel that hateful.  But they will turn up in writing.  Possibly a list of Goofuses and Gallants for the Bronx Civil Social page. Hmm I think that is a good idea.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday, July 14. At 10:45 I have a doctors appointment.  I think that I have recovered from the paronychia. However I did not feel good today and had a slight headache in the afternoon and I wonder if I caught something else from the hospital or Walgreens or City MD.

I talked to a nice person at the Bridge today and told them I did not want to do a lawsuit but felt that I deserved a rent discount if they are going to keep the elevator off.  I told them that it was cheating and probably meant as retaliation for when I reported them about the air conditioning.  

It was a nice person and I felt like our conversation was the truth and I did not feel offended and run over by power hungry racism.  And honestly that is enough for me.  Like your housing abuses you, you report it, and someone takes you seriously. That is a lot, and I don't think it was just to avoid legal problems.

Anyway I am staying inside a lot probably for these heat wave days unless I have to be hospitalized for whatever this new thing is.  Possibly the issue today was either low iron or an interaction between my iron pill and the antibiotic.  But I actually am suspecting something else.  However it is not an exact match for descriptions online.  

I will ask about it tomorrow. I think I will feel relieved. 

I think I have to tap into some religion to get through all this. Stuff I don't usually rely on like ideas about God's plan, predestination from a billion years ago, and God being in total control. 

I mean honestly there are some weird things about it.  Like the wound from the drained paraonychia is an exact mirror image of my scar from when I was in high school and this guy cut part of my finger off when I defended the paper dolls that I had made. 

 I think something interesting is that Barnes and noble minimized the mental health factor because that made them allowed to treat me worse but in housing and hospitals maximizing the mental health makes me be less believable. Also the south kind of considered me manic depressive because it needs fewer accommodations and the north really likes schizo because it allows them to not believe my reports. Just whatever keeps me at a disadvantage. I will be gone so soon. Just a few years. Some people won’t believe that either even after I am gone.

 So here are two comments from my facebook page, interesting how enthusiastically they add their hate to the situation. It makes you wonder what factors make them so supportive of the abuser without knowing the facts.