Hello everyone. Facebook gave me low numbers when I tried to share a poem to americans.  I do not appreciate it but I redid the ad to reach India instead. I will see if that is better and then try to figure out what to do about being censored in USA. There just isn't a way for me to get any readers here and I feel the cruelty of it as I prepare for my bullcrap inspection tomorrow with a person who pretended to help me.

Housing is definitely doing another escalation and I think I will call APS tomorrow before it gets worse.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is June 11, Thursday. It is about 10:10 pm.  At midnight I am going to try to do some cleaning for inspection. Then at 5 am I will try to take my medicine.  Then I will get up at 11 am and clean again.  Then at 12 I will go downstairs and find Karla.  Then at 1 pm I will have a zoom meeting with my friend Kate.   Really, what do I have to do, about one hour of cleaning, a meeting at 12 and a meeting at 1. I can do it. I mean this is the night before. Really I don't have to clean at midnight but I think I will be glad if I clear the table. But I think it also pressures me to throw away stuff I want to keep.

So that is three things. I mean I could do it all at 11,12, 1, and not worry tonight about getting anything done. But I kind of think I should get something done before I sleep.

So okay, mood. I watched some of my comedy videos and I don't have an attention span for the whole thing on any of them.  The one with the blue shirt is by far the best start but really they all have their ups and downs.  So I think I need to just do the best I can Sunday.  Honestly it is not that easy, everyone.  And I am taking books to the park and it is going to be hot outside and then I go to the comedy show. But I have plenty of time.  12-2, then travel to times square area. This is my 6th show. I mean that is great. That is 30 minutes of original material. I mean some people have careers with less than that.

But I actually do have a career because of facebook.  So this is it.  This is a defining event.  But it is just a comedy show.  Just someone talking on a stage. That happens millions of times every year all over the world.  People memorize their lines and speeches.  And I have four minutes of stuff to say.  And I mostly have memorized it.  But I think that is what is bothering me a little bit, is that I feel my disability.  I truly do have a little bit of dementia.  The attention span and memory is impaired.  But I think I can use my piece of paper.  That is the best thing is to update the paper and then rehearse. I mean I could rehearse right now after I finish typing this. I just feel scrambled.  And what about all those facebook posts.  I mean honestly I could send around some old jokes all the time. Not to mention the new jokes, and some art that hasn't been sent around. But I will be honest with you, I think facebook has not maxxed out its opportunity.  I think they should have automated my page and scheduled all my memes to be running and reaching millions of people with some positive content.  And they should have monetized it and paid me abotu ten thousand dollars.  That would still be a deal for them and they would have ads on that.  But they found a way to get content to be ads too.  But still we have a good deal going and I think that they think the religion will stay pure if I am not monetized.  There is some merit to that and yet I think the jokes should really have been monetized.  I mean that is valuable work with education behind it.

Anyway does anyone have any opinions?  The issue now is that I don't have any cash and need to catch up on credit cards and deposits.

 Hello everyone. That was an interesting dream, wasn't it.  I do not know what it really means. Now it is 5:21 and I just made some potatoes.  I do not have much sour cream but I have a little bit. And I had cheese, and actually I am thinking I could use mustard or what if I made a honey mustard drizzle. I think that is what I will do. I mean what if I added barbecue sauce so it is the flavor of those restaurant sauces. I think that is what I will do in just a little while.

It is 5:23. In about an hour it will be storming here. I think we will be okay. i just had a piece of baklava and it was good. I think I am going to use the treadmill this summer.  I really think I will. I know I always say that but I think I will. I am at 205. That could be worse. But getting that next 5-7 pounds down is the main difference.

So anyway, I think I am going to watch some more of my old comedy routines.  All of them went pretty well. I hope this one goes okay.  I am not sure I have rehearsed enough but maybe I will do that also this afternoon. 

Well, that is all for now, have a good day everyone.

 Hey everyone, this is Refried. Can you believe the Knicks won? I can't believe it and feel a miracle feeling from it. Like it is so cool and a blessing on New York. I saw the score early in the game and was like well darn and then later it was 70-87 and then 90-99 and I was like wow they could win and then I check the score and it says 107-106 final and the shot that won was kind of a funny shot that I used to always try to make when I played basketball.  I mean wow it was amazing. I feel so happy from that.

I hope they win in San Antonio. I kind of am confused as to why this was not the championship but I guess I don't know how it works. I mean what do you keep having to prove you are actually better instead of just winning a game? 

Anyway I did my laundry. I also practiced my comedy routine. I think it is fine but the household name joke is an old classic that has been done before but I just feel like it fits with my routine.  But it is weird how I have flaws in every routine. But I think I am still doing pretty well. I think it is okay but I need to not get carried away and think I am pro if I have a few videos that do well. I haven't sent any around yet.  But anyway people are reminding me every day to get a haircut. I will do that soon.

I hope there are no tornadoes tomorrow. Well I just can't believe the knicks won.  I am still a harlem globe trotters fan but this is a very exciting series that warrants a lot of destructive rioting in the streets.

Well, that is all everyone. 

 hello everyone, this is Refried. it is Tuesday, June 9. Today was a busy day. I took my medicine at 5 am, then I slept until 1 pm, then I woke up and took three packages to the post office. It was a long wait and there is something wrong there.  they are trying to refuse service as much as they can and create delays. I did have some trouble getting mail but i know that at least two packages have been sent and received okay.  So I feel okay for now. I feel better after today because they did it to everyone and not just me.

After that I reviewed my comedy routine and then went to my class, with a stop at Le Pain Quotidien for a brunch food.  It was yummy.  Their lemonade is a little bit tart but still good. I think that is the last yummier than usual meal that I can afford until my next deposit and possibly until two weeks after that.  But it is okay. I should finish the oatmeal and grits that I have here. 

Anyway, everyone did well at their comedy routine.  Honestly it is hard to believe how well people do. Like people come in knowing nothing and finish with a totally legit routine.  

I switched out a joke today and I think my routine will be good.  I got good comments and it is recorded and it reminds me of when I did well in poetry school.  But it will still be a challenge to perform okay because of my disability. Both memory and attention are impacting my ability to remember my lines. Like I literally am too bored sometimes.  I can't pay attention to my jokes. But it helped to add a new joke. And it is a really freaking funny joke that I am so proud of.  My teacher is really nice and so is everyone else. It really surprises me when I get mercy from people. But a lot of people have done a lot for me in my life.  It's just that in a context of something like stand up comedy,  I really wasn't expecting the support I have had.

I took a cab to grand central this time but then I had to wait longer for the train.  That might have been to deter me from relying too much on cabs, so next time I will go to Astor place like usual.  It really was not easy but not as rough as probably tomorrow night will be when the knicks hopefully win.

Wow there are so many people who do things that I can't do and don't want to do.  But I have had my share of stuff too but just think of people going to work when they don't want to. It is a lot of people.

Anyway that was a full day.  When I got back to my neighborhood I got some milk and a sandwich at the deli, and some treats from their very extensive treat display. Like baklava, orange cupcakes, and donuts.

I think the Bridge might be escalating me but hopefully I can reverse it.  I just am supposed to be able to miss one dose of medicine.

Ok this reminds me, I did post that meme today which actually is starting to strike me as funny and not just interesting.  So I will send it around soon, maybe at 40 with the jelly beans at 60. I mean literally maybe tonight but I think I will wait until tomorrow morning.  

But yeah it is not that easy to do what I do sometimes but mostly it is not that bad, either. I just felt like that idea was a blessing.  Like it is an obvious idea, just sitting there, and God let me be the one to say it.

Well, that is all, have a good day everyone.

 ok everyone my girlfriend said we might have sold 25,000 copies of my books.  I just don't really believe it because I think there would have been a buzz from it.  Like people would say they read it and loved it.

But I think she is saying to stay hopeful and not complain. It was from a secret message.

I mean I did think we sold some and she got the money.  but it might be more secret than that.  Like possibly The Bridge got money for its constituents and me and Ravneet get nothing.

But to me it seems that I simply have only sold 3000 books.  So maybe they are saying that the next phase is the 25k. I just didn't expect some depression today but I can snap out of it if I think about it.  Just that Anne's beach trip was two weeks and mom and I both didn't know that.  But it makes sense and Elise visited mom and mom had caregivers and was okay on her own.  But she is going stir crazy now and needs to go to the grocery store.

Ok what else.  There are three things: the reminder of the missing national career, the discovery that my sister is not back in town yet in person with my mom, and the fact that my lawsuit idea isn't going to work.  I mean maybe it is better that way anyway.  But it is kind of an interesting idea. Then I was like, maybe me plus a local place, and I don't see it.  So it is another mood drop.  

I can work through these three things.  The fact that my mom is fine, Elise visited her, the book sales are secret, and the lawsuit idea doesn't concern me anyway. I mean it is kind of genius if you think about it and maybe the conspiracy was who thought about it.  Like for no one to defend me and then family members collect the cash for themselves later based on their losses that were doubled from their own hate.

Well, that is an interesting day. I am drinking a sherbet shake and will be okay. There is going to be a storm tonight. I kind of feel like I have been indoors too much but I had stuff to do.

Will I post that book today. I do not know. I think it doesn't matter. But I could be wrong, like it might be good to get it done and available.

 Pals, I was going to say something and got distracted. I was going to say something about the international mission of general christianity and how even the main church doesn't realize that the gospel is in the liberal sections also.  I mean even some of the liberals don't realize how christian they are.  So there is this powerful alternative witness.  I mean it is God being smarter than the debble and his bad people.  People are like, don't ruin the plan, don't give it away, well people should see what has been spent on their belief so that they can be okay and go to heaven.  It is a lot.  

Anyway I had another dream where I was applying for loans and saw the ai markup of what I had entered on other applications, and I called someone to say it was erroneous.  So that is interesting.

Then I woke up thinking about cash money and family and I had a good idea that I think some other people already figured out like wow I am amazed at them but if they figured it out then so did the bad people. Speaking of bad people.

I think what is also interesting about the two main camps in our country, plus the other identities like race, is that when one group has their hands tied, the other group is free in that area.  I mean that is amazing.

Well, have a good day everyone.