Hello everyone, today is Monday, December 8. I woke up late today, talked to my therapist, and walked to Walgreens and the post office.  So tomorrow I might go to that grocery store in the other direction.

I was thinking about water or cokes but they were out of water so I got cokes. They were the best sale I have gotten so far. An average of 7 dollars per 12. 

I am publishing a new book and will probably hit the final button today. I think it is not a big deal when I hit the final button.  But I hope I secretly have readers for all my books. 

I am sad that I was rude sometimes and said inappropriate things.  But at least I know there are multiple incidents so there is not like one foible that is tormenting me.  

There was a letter in the mail saying I have insurance until Dec 12. Hopefully by then it will be renewed for another year. I should call Medicaid soon and see if there are any changes on the phone recording.

I did not hear back from the cop presentation job today but could hear something another time.

I think I did well when I talked to them Thursday.  Not perfect but okay and representative.

I think I need to do a year in reflection inventory soon. What went well, where were the problems, etc. A lot did go well but I didn't do great with Mensa games and in person. I think I can do better next year.

I am starting to have a lot of views for this blog so I will try to think of some good things to say.

Well that is all, everyone, have a good week.

 Hello everyone. I think I will take a walk soon. Should I go to Walgreens? Maybe so.  I guess that is what I should do.  I cracked the code on something a while ago and it will be so weird if it works out. I looked at the numbers and it was impossible and then I saw that it might be possible after all.

So that is cool. This morning I had a dream that I was at the hospital PHP program and I was just visiting but they had combined and IOP group and a PHP group and it was so fun and seemed so real.

Tomorrow I will go there for my doctors appointment. Today is like a free day because I did not have to go to the Medicaid office. So I guess in a few minutes I will go to Walgreens. God is helping me, this is my life. When I look around and feel like stuff is missing, that is not my life. So I need to be thankful.

Did I get escalated yesterday and the day before by some mental health people? I do not need too much escalation everyone.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. 

I am about to go to my mental health program and discontinue. Yesterday I told them and today I will sign my papers. I wish I had read their notes but it is okay.

I gave a little bit for giving tuesday. The bible says not to tell people about your charitable giving. But I just find it to be interesting conversation. I don't think I can give any more today. I did not expect to give what I gave.

What do you gice think about giving tuesday? I think it is not a bad tradition but in a way it makes all the charities have to ask on the same day.  Is that ideal, I do not know. Because who knows, the whole holidays might otherwise be like a giving tuesday.

Gice I feel kind of embarrassed that my poems weren't ready and I shared them too soon.  But I think it is okay and not every one noticed or cared. And interestingly I feel my loyalty to that normal people audience that I was trying for. I like for the higher ups to approve my poems, but I also like when a non poetry reader sees a poem they understand and feel confident saying that they like.  And the first poem was like that so I will just be glad about that.

Well, that is all for now. Bye everyone.

Did you guys like my poems? I think they are good now. How were they before? Almost good but there is a difference. But it is okay. I think something about it is how I used the word "attempt," like it was a work in progress.  So who knows.  Ups and Downs, live and learn, pros and cons. 

So okay. I am taking the tapeworm people some books on Thursday, and I have some books for the friday people if they want them.  They might not but I think it is a good small mix.

I am not taking an article about escalation but I will send the link to Evelin and Linda sometime.

Tomorrow I go to Jewish Board to sign final paperwork. I should go early in the morning but I have a feeling that there will be a delay. When should I go to the Medicaid office? I think I might need to do that tomorrow.  Isn't there something else I need to do tomorrow? Ok I am remembering the advent class.  Yeah I would rather not miss that, it is a fun thing.  So do I need to get up early tomorrow? Do I need to get up early every day this week?

I think that Wednesday has to be medicaid day. That is December 3. Tomorrow the pressure is off for being up too early. And Wednesday I don't have to go that early.

So maybe it is time for some snacks. Do you think I should make cookies? Hmm I do not know. I think that is what I am unexpectedly doing this christmas is making cookies. Right now I could make an egg nog cake, lemon cookies, forgotten cookies, or chocolate chip cookies. Hmm I do not know.

Gice I really feel shaken up by recent events. But I am okay. 

 Hello everyone, my holiday poem boost is finished and I found three major edits that were needed.  I now have three keeper poems and feel okay. But 500 people read imperfect poems.  I think I am okay with it.  Some of those people could tell the poems weren't good enough but now they are.

It is okay. I think it served its purpose for cheer during the weekend.  I would feel better if the poems were better but I kind of knew they were only okay and still shared them.  So maybe I am just getting started with these kinds of shares and I will do better over time.

I think for my next selfie I will say how my poems weren't perfect. Maybe those people can get credit for being in a writers group with me. The poems are good now. They are three good poems. As good as my other rhymes and worthy of an audience. 

Well, that is all. I think I should have called friends today but I can call them on another day. Frankly I feel that some people have bailed on me and it shook me up a little bit.

Have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 7:32 on Monday. I just went to a support group for anxiety, and people's problems were horrific.  It was not war zone stuff but definitely as bad as it gets for a modern society. We only got to a few people because of it but it was still a good group. I could have used a few groups over the weekend but Nami has been scaling back some and so have I.

I have mixed feelings about the poems I shared on facebook. I think they were only okay but mostly I am glad I shared them.  I think it was good content and I am a legitimate content creator.

Wow I feel a little freaked out about everyone's problems but I think some of it is a matter of caring about the autism epidemic. But I wish I could help with peace of mind instead of mutual suffering but mutual suffering is an example Jesus gave us.  I am a wimp though and have told God I would choose the lobster dinners over being tortured. But God might already know that is only partially true.

So now I have a thing to figure out which is that I had mistaken a writing promo that I was going to try to purchase.  So I do not know what to do. I do not want to let anyone down but I think that there is not an option in my price range for what I planned.

I ended up unexpectedly signing up for a conference that I might not be a match for but maybe I am. There was a deal I was trying to take advantage of at the last minute. So that is good but it could mean future burdens but I can do it. 

I think my poems got about 400 views. That is good and I need to reread them to see how I feel. It at least made the site available and maybe people saw the other work that is possibly better.

Well, that group really shook me up. I think I could benefit from other outpatient group treatment but I don't think there is an option like that for me at this time. Tomorrow I am quitting my day program. I tried to leave today but they have to do paperwork. I have been calm and they said I am in good standing and can come back another time. 

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. Today is Monday, Dec 1. I was on hold for an hour and fifteen minutes with medicaid and they never got back to me. But I still feel mostly hopeful and saw that my original paperwork did get there. So it could be just a training exercise.

I have some coffee right now and am safe in my apartment. I feel back to normal after what was actually an unexpectedly rough holiday. I just felt lonely and did not call my phone-a-friends.

But my facebook posts did well. I think facebook was really slow on one boost because it suited them to wait until they had more room for ads so they really didn't boost it according to my wishes. But it is okay. I think it kind of got enough views. It kind of didn't but I know it is a good video.

There is some good news though which is that I am keeping my promises and christmas obligations. It will be a tight budget this year but I am not failing and bailing. I hate to even say it that way because there are really bad economic problems and people feel like failures when it is not their fault.

But anyway I hope I can do somthing good for my nieces. I want to get them each a fairy tale collection and maybe some candy or something, maybe an assortment and some cash.  plus the legos. So really I think that will be fine.  And then something for three other kids.  Am I forgetting anyone? I do not know.

And I can't pay down my cards well but I can be back to how it has been all season and that is stable enough.  I just couldn't do a major reset but it is okay. I think I can pay them down gradually.

Well, have a good day everyone.