Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Monday, May 4. Tomorrow is my birthday. For my birthday I am going to comedy class.  

My videos are finishing up soon and the numbers are good.  I also prayed well this time. I know the bible says not to say when you pray but I do say it so people will expect to get something.

Today was a weird day. I think it was because I slept some before taking medicine and felt a tired feeling that affected my thoughts.  And it lasted all day. I think some of that might be from sharing the videos. It is a spiritual warfare issue of some kind.  So that is interesting. 

I drank a milkshake and it was yummy.  The 2 percent milk is easier to make a milkshake with. I am perfecting the process a little bit on that. 

How do you think my meeting with Connie went? I enjoyed it. I kind of yapped her ear off but I could not help it because I was so freaking disturbed by my spiritual problems overnight. And I was scared that it would ruin the meeting with Connie and even wondered if it was on purpose.  So that is a little bit of paranoia.  I mean I do not know why but people do trigger it sometimes and it is them, not me.

So anyway, I am 92 percent done with my life!  That is really awesome and I am thankful.  Hopefully it will be a good finale.  Hopefully my books will not get wasted. It is weird because I do not know whether to expect good things or more suffering and loss.  But I think in some ways I could see some stuff as done and in other people's hands. What do you guys think about that part of library book when I say the best thing in my life are the people? I just wonder if that did not do God right in a way. Well I do not know.  Maybe people can discuss it and intend to do better and not say things like that. Like was I supposed to say that it is in God's hands? I mean I am talking about a profession.  An industry, and there are other people whose decisions affect me.  

Well, that is all. I felt like writing a blog post but didn't really have anything to say.

Gice I am going to be tenth wave instead of for such a time as this.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 4:39. I talked to my friend Connie earlier about my kirkus reviews and I am feeling okay about it all.  She thinks it is a good idea to get some more casual reviews on my sites.  

I also packed up a few joke books to send to two people who did not get joke books yet.  It was so sweet when one person asked for one because I did not expect her to want one after I gave her possibly too many poetry books.

I also cooked some eggs and bacon and I did not do well with the cooking. The bacon was not as crispy as usual and the eggs had too much bacon grease but it is all okay and still yummy.

There is something that bothered me overnight and then I was successful in a dream about it but I don't know what I am supposed to do and I do not know if it is on purpose from anyone. I think I am okay but it is weird how I did not really know what to do.

Tonight I am hoping to go to the anxiety group for nami. I don't think I have other appointments scheduled.  I am still avoiding the bad person from the other group I am in.

I think this recent video boost did a number on me.  Possibly I should end the ads and see if I feel better. It could be some kind of spiritual issue from sharing to millions at a time. But I do not really know.

But I possibly am out of money for it anyway. Maybe I will pause it right now.

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. I am so excited and surprised to find out today that a guy from my church who got wrongfully detained has been brought back home. The pastors worked so hard and got lawyers and it was very scary for five whole months. So way to go everyone. There is a nice video.  Maybe I will share it but I don't know.

Today I went to Wendy's with a friend from my mental health program last year. It was fun and maybe I can socialize more. Tuesday is when my next comedy class starts.

I have had some mood ups and downs but am okay. I took an iron pill yesterday and had more energy.  I will try to do that again in about 7 hours.  That is hard to believe, isn't it? I will go to sleep in 7 hours at 6 am.

I ran some more videos this weekend and feel mostly okay about it.  Honestly, sometimes facebook gives more numbers to some videos that to me aren't as good and honestly that messes with my mood a little bit.  But mostly I am really happy when they get approved and sent around. I am saying I will post three and one gets super numbers but it is not any better than the other videos and some get low and I don't know why.  But really my numbers are awesome. I don't think I should say what the numbers are.

Tomorrow I have a meeting with a creative writing teacher to discuss a book review that I got.  I am excited to talk to her.  It was also fun to send her my blog posts with my original reactions.

Gice I am so glad the church people are okay. I only attend online. I have three churches.

Well, that is all.  What should I eat tonight for dinner. I am thinking bacon and eggs.  What about pancakes. I think that is not necessary. I could bake a cake but I think that is also not necessary. 

Gice hopefully we can bring all the detainees home and give them citizenship.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 4:11. I just walked to the grocery store. It was really far. I spent 17 dollars of OTC dollars. I got milk, cheese, sour cream, and eggs.  I think I will eat potatoes later and make a cake.  My apartment is warm but I can go sit outside.

I am listening to a video that makes me feel the Holy Spirit.  That should humble me because I didn't already feel the Holy Spirit without the video.  However I can't say how fru fru I find some of these people's beliefs to be.  But they will find their way and ultimately they are probably not "the problem." Am I right? Like some people are "the problem," and it is probably not these people with their new age spirituality.  Except a guy named Harry was mean to me so I have not returned to the group.

There is a nice presenter who is a CPA and is saying some creative stuff about having a relationship with money, like it is personified.  So that is interesting.

Something on my mind is that I am looking at admissions stats for colleges and some colleges are hard for anyone at all to get into.  And it is kind of sad to me but I guess there will be those super places and then some regular places. Life is hard and people will find their way.

Gice I had a small vanilla milkshake and it cooled me off so I might get another one.

Gice this opportunity to pray for my constituents in India is very unique and I invite everyone to brainstorm some stuff for them.  It works and is slightly different than just praying in general for the world.  I believe that it does help to have a connection and to pray specifically for specific people and you can be in the middle and pray for crowds in between the way people pray for their church and pray for people in general.

Tomorrow I am going to get a frosty with my friend Tehla. I am meeting her at Wendy's at 4 pm.  I hope I don't forget or get blocked.  Maybe I will go at 2.

Gice these people on the video believe in the law of attraction and I don't.  

So anyway, that is all.  I am watching my facebook numbers.  I didn't expect to boost all this and add ten million views suddenly.  But that is it and I am going to be at about 160 million.  That is good and I can do more videos.  

Gice I would really like a Buccee badger stuffed animal but all in good time.

 Gice I got a fast approval on two boosts so be thankful for what I have. Gice I think I should try to market my books in India. Maybe I will call amazon and see what they say.

It is 2:23. I think it would have been nice to go to wellness chat today but maybe next time. I think they don't mind me being a frequent.  There are a lot of good frequents. I need to do a donation for the walk.

What should I eat for lunch today. Ravneet said food. I mean should I chop the bacon.  I don't have sour cream for the potatoes.  I mean maybe that is the idea is to make potatoes with cheese and sour cream and bacon.  So I need sour cream. Should I walk to Key Food. I mean I could do that at about 4 pm. But wouldn't that be a good thing to do tomorrow? So I think tomorrow I will do that.

Do you gice have any opinions about my videos? I think they are good.  Well, mostly good. I think there are facebook people who care about my posts. I mean that is what I have going for me.  Other people have other stuff going for them.

Gice maybe a little exercise in the evening. So what should I eat for dinner tonight. I am thinking a hot pocket. Ok that will be good. Gice I feel my phone a friend program is lagging but I just wasn't sure sometimes about whether to call people.

Gice people are saying maybe socialize with New York people more and be a comedian. Maybe do some open mics.  Ok that is what I will do. And then when it is the only thing I do then it means I am a comedian as a career.  And I can sell joke books. The joke book is my top seller right now.

 Hello everyone, I am making some more videos and got a lot of good ones from that felt blog prompt. Next is a mouse video and a checkerboard. But I will take my time. So far I got one good mouse video but it does not make sense but I might still use it.

Gice it is weird, I think I did not do well for a few days but making videos is making me feel back to normal. I mean definitely I do batches of facebook shares. I do not know if I got the stuff right this week but I think people are fine either way.  And what if one of my videos isn't that great. I think that is okay too.  Also the old numbers are starting to disappear from my stats page. So I will need to remember a total and add it to the one accumulating now.  I think I am almost to 160 if you include likes and shares. And then what, about 7 or 8 blocks of 5 and I will hit an ultimate goal. But all in good time, be patient, only post good videos.  I think the one now was really a maybe but I liked it enough so I did it and sometimes have doubts. But it is okay. That is what I had at the time after doing like 40 videos. And then I ended up with ten usables from that prompt.

Anyway that was a weird process with the review, wasn't it.  I mean it is one review. The question is, where are the readers.  Well it is okay. It is just weird to have not had a normal acceptance as a writer.  But definitely I had some kind of conspiracy so I will be thankful for that. But I just sometimes think people are wrong about thinking it is okay to make the normal results disappear.  And the charade, and what people tell themselves in order to go along with it.

Ok I forgot to go to wellness chats but I think maybe I will just take a break from it. I mean I do not know I just feel like I don't necessarily need to go to all the groups.  Am I wrong, I do not know. I was going to attend but now it is 1:08.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 12:30 pm. I passed inspection but it was not easy and I have not taken my medicine for today yet. But I will soon. It is just not that easy to pass inspection and I cracked the code to not take medicine but could get punished for it. But I have not missed it this week.

I am making some more videos with that same prompt. I mean I could just keep doing these videos.

Gice my bill for canva is a lot.  It is too much. I might have to cancel it. I will see what happens with my mom's support. I am definitely okay for this month.

I think also I did get my money's worth this month.  It is a patient process even at full blast. Also the canva cuteness is cute. Like it is not like it is never cute enough. And they get the whole blobs concept.

So that is good. I think I might need to do some more checkerboards and some mice.  I mean is that what I am doing today? Karla said it is cold outside. So maybe in a while I will go outside and drink coffee.

I think my apartment was clean enough but not great. But I might add a day and do some more permanent tidying on Mondays or Tuesdays.  Gice it is not that easy being disabled. I have fatigue and it is hard to do anything at all sometimes.

But anyway I feel happy because I emailed Connie those blurbs. I think it will be fun to talk about. I think she will find it interesting, too.

Well, have a good day everyone.