Hello everyone, this is Refried. I paused my post.  Facebook did not give me good enough numbers.  Only 80 people per dollar.  That is not enough. It has to be a hundred or I do not boost the post. It is not fair. It is their same censorship that they have done to me for ten years.  I am thankful for my audience in India and I will focus on that.

It is fine with me if this post only goes to my facebook friends.  I mean in a way it means facebook has now taken two salaries from me.  My American audience and the payment for my Indian audience.  That is two different careers. Well I am happy that my work did reach some people and was not totally wasted. And I did see that they list me as a beneficiary for the ads.  Conspicuously not the people who get free jokes.  That does not change the truth that they get my content and my money.  A reverse salary.

I mean at this point I may have a strong legal case against them. However I am still just waiting to see what happens. Like is there some channel that someone else has that will end up being how my books sell.

I do not know.  The number 80 is interesting too, because it is almost enough to boost anyway.

But I will not be kicking myself.  All I know is I did everything I could for myself and others.  And it was blocked. And the people who thought they were different and special are just like everyone else.  No one is that great.  We all deserved a normal, fair voice on social media.  

I mean you could look at it as a trial run for doing some of this leveraging in real life.  And it was a tragic failure and disgraceful injustice.  So now we know.  I mean wow, people lost me, and this is how.

I am not sure about this new thing where facebook doesn't show me my likes.  But it shows other people and they can tag my page without me knowing it.  How absurdly persecutory.  But at least they did let me run that other ad, but possibly because they think people can use it against me.

Ok everyone, I posted a post.  It is good, but I know some people are like "too late," or "it's about time." But really I was twenty years ahead of any of y'all so I don't need your bullcrap either.  It is both churches. It is also the liberals. There is racism there, too.  The self righteous milking of your own appopriation that just happened to be more successful. Sorry but I do not buy into that either.

You will also get your blog posts so don't get too proud. It is not me against the world. You want to say I am saying I am the only person who did right. But I am not.  And a lot of the people were in churches, and went wherever they could.  They went to work.  They did what they were supposed to, only to be called racist bigots, and if you persecute us then you will be found out as persecutors.  And you say now I am doing it, but I am not.

And don't get me started on the Mexicans, either.  Because there was disrespect there, and all three parties procrastinated. And what am I doing, telling the truth as my years dwindle with no salary for five careers. People arranged for me to do it all anyway, but just not get paid.  What a good deal. For who?  Where is the cash? It is not just cash. It is other stuff of value. Follow the money, follow the life.  

Now what. I have a meeting at 1 pm.  The speech I want to make at Toastmasters might be about how in middle school I sat on the couch with the catalog, things you never knew existed but can't possibly live without.  And there were a lot of things I wanted but I could only get the 6 things for 99 cents each deal.  But I also wanted the tiniest bible in the world trinket but could not afford it.  So I got the disappearing ink and handbuzzer and snake in a can trick. Man it was all so funny.  And that is is how it worked out in life, too.  So that will be my speech. Now you are all included in Toastmasters.

 Hello everyone. I think the iron pill immediately helped my tongue. I still feel muscle pains in my leg sometimes. I think I am ok with that. I don’t have bad fatigue and my tongue is okay. I think I have lost some weight since reducing the latuda. But it could be because my scale is off balance but I think it is an improvement.

So anyway I am microwaving some coffee.

I think I will clean a little today. I just took out the trash. I mean actually my apartment is not that bad. I think maybe I should clear the sink and counter. I only have one more main dish left plus clean the sink.

How did I do at the conference. I think I did well. I don’t know how my queries will go. Also the questionable meme. But I think some people want it to be the end of my career when it isn’t and shouldn’t be.

Anyway I am sad about ICE having electric shock gloves. I fear that also as a mental patient. It is not humane.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I tried to go to a picnic today and I could not find it. I also went to the wrong place first so I had to get a cab and try again.  So it ended up being a costly trip but I got through it.  I ended up going to one of my favorite diners but the steak and eggs was not great. It was okay but not like last time.  I did not order a coffee.  I just got one here at home. 

My tongue got burnt yesterday on pizza but I think it is also messed up from low iron.  But my fatigue is not that bad. I need a haircut and I think I was kind of baggy today and need to shape up a little.

I feel tired from feeling some grief about my humor writing career and what might have been etc. The humor writing event kind of reminded me of that but I am okay. I had a great time. I thought of something really funny as soon as it started.

I feel like we need to consider that the Latuda might be causing the low iron.  Because did it happen before? No. and it is very serious. I also think scheduling the next appointment for 6 months away kind of makes it seem like it is okay when it is not.

Anyway there have been some weird trolls lately.  I feel bad for them and I think they have a delusional hope that there will be some kind of public shaming of me some day.  

I had a religious vision yesterday of Jesus looking like Moses on the ark. As in Noah's ark. Isn't that weird? I am not sure what it means. I had some interpretations but I was kind of out of it and tired.

Anyway I need to call my mom this week and see how she is feeing about her next hip surgery. I can't believe she has to do it again. I hope it goes well.

That is all for now. Does anyone have any opinions?

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am getting my refrigerator under control.  The freezer is clear now and I will work on the fridge. It is not that crazy but I accidentally left the door ajar for a while.

So anyway, about this death of the autistic professor.  They say it is not suspicious but the timing is suspicious.  So to me now their investigation is suspicious.

Now, does it have to do with me personally. I do not really think so.

Was I supposed to submit a query for the writers conference. Also I did not participate in the chat for the chat page but I did participate in the sessions.

I had a good time and people were really funny. I mean I would have liked to be friends with all those people. 

Maybe it is not too late.

Do I need to make coffee soon? 

Has my asthma been an issue or anxiety lately? Should I take an atarax? Maybe.

Is Drena mad at me? Probably not.  

Pals, it throws me off to lose the zable budget but I will whittle it down and start over.

 Pals, this is Refried. I just went to an excellent conference. It was on humor writing. It really made me laugh. I had a great time. I met cool people. I forgot to get one person's email address.

I wrote a few jokes that I think were successful. Most of all I learned that I really need to be doing stand up every week. I need to be churning out the jokes. I need to try to make it a career.

I think I have enough jokes for another routine soon.  So will I do another class in the fall? Or just try to peddle a new routine? I am thinking do another class.  

But what about visiting family for thanksgiving. Well I do not know.  I mean maybe it is sept oct.

I just hate to ask for another deposit but that other one was for something specific.

So anyway, that was crazy about my zable account, wasn't it? Well I did what I did and now I own the name of something. 

I think that is what I will call the new organization. Okey Jokey. And I have the domain. I mean that is great. I did the best I could. I will pay down the card and I can still afford steak and eggs.

 Pals, hello. It is Saturday, Aug 15. Yesterday, my business credit card was supposed to be switched to a new company, but I found out that the main thing doesn’t happen until Aug 20. It is a little suspicious and I am kind of worried. But it will be okay.

I am taking a humor writing class today even though I should be at the level of the presenters. And the pre videos are making me aware of my missing career. It could not be more obvious that I should have succeeded years ago. And why didn’t I? I do not know but I guess make the most of the comedy opportunities. I need to write a new routine about health, etc. I mean honestly the pace of comedy classes is all I can do. But I should go to some more open mics. I think I will try to go next Wednesday.  I couldn’t this Wednesday because of my finger.

Anyway maybe the secret messages are saying to boost some of the stand up posts. I mean maybe for 40 dollars.

Just the cruelty of it but I can pray for forgiveness and I think that is the point. It is because my writing is supposed to reach people after my time and it is Christian poetry so they need to see that I forgave. I just feel like my work was needed in my time and it was wasteful what people did. And the justice people don’t deserve to be seen as hypocrits either but they were. You were. Are you reading this? You were.

So anyway, racism.

Ok moving on. I am sad about the Jason guy who died. The autistic professor. Did he get bullied, did I read along in a bad way. I mean I kind of think that the scrutiny he got was based on something and it is part of the profession if he is going to be at that level. But anyway I think it is sad. 

I need to wash two dishes today. Also I should take a walk. Should I take a walk right now? I kind of should but I am already drinking coffee. I had three days of meds. So that was 3 - 1- 3. That needs to be good enough for people. Because I feel ok. I caught up on sleep and that is nice. I just have no paranoia and am simply bothered that the elevator is broken again.