Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Saturday, Oct 10. I am doing okay. I am in my room and it is plenty comfortable. Karla is not that much of a bully and I am sorry that I portray her worse than necessary sometimes.  Although it is a thing. 

So anyway I ate some chips and dip, a piece of baloney and cheese, and a vanilla pudding.  I feel okay and am not worried about any of my problems. The indigestion from last night was IBS.  I do not know what caused it but it could have been from a spiritual power. But it is all a familiar feeling when I think about it.

I am so thankful for Hannah Park who helped me not worry and was able to know what caused it. I mean how do they do that, I do not know. But she knew it was my same condition as normal.  And I think they all knew that it would be over in the morning and it was.  But I still didn't feel good but some of it is psychological.  And the low iron feelings are not different than what they have been.  I took three iron pills recently and will take another one tonight. I guess I need to check and see if that is a trigger for the IBS.  But I think it is only part of the picture and so far I can still take that medicine.  I am three doses behind on pantropazole but that is not that bad either. That is okay.  And I think I am ok on psych meds if I take it tonight.  So all that is actually normal. 

The previous blog post could be considered a spell of paranoia but really I think that is based on a real trigger and actual suspicious scenarios.  But I am okay on that too.  So I guess I will take my medicine very soon and just go to sleep.

Does anyone have any thoughts? I think I did okay. 

Well, that was an interesting week. 

 Hello everyone. It is warm in my apartment again. Karla gave me the same talk where she says to come to her first before emailing grievances and justice center. I told her that you don’t negotiate with abusers but report them. 

I can interpret some legal threats from her, actually. She said she took the job to be a punching bag. I think she was trying to make me think she could claim I cursed at her and people would believe her. But I think there is some reverse logic there where people can guess how she treats us if she wants to be called a name.

Definitely I feel that the racist network includes other friends of mine now. It is an anti evangelical thing.

I do not know why this is starting up again. Maybe it never stopped but I was just glad to not see certain specific people so I thought there was relief.

That is all for now. I am thankful for my groceries.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am listening to an awesome discussion at Theology Beer Camp. They are talking about codependence and enmeshment.  I have a problem with this because my mom has made me responsible for her life and feelings for my whole life. It is a tragedy of abuse that all people allowed and depended on themselves. Hmm that is interesting.  I wonder if anyone has ever studied other people's dependence on someone's dependence. Anyway, I do not know why it wasn't prevented and stopped but I did end up having a lot of blessings and am happy with my life overall. 

This discussion about having to manage someone else's feelings is really great. I mean that is it.  

So anyway I am doing okay but have had digestion issues this weekend. I think it is from the iron pills, low iron, and haphazard medicine schedule.  

A doctor helped me and she thinks it is GERD.  She is my health buddy because we both have heartburn and compression socks. I agree that the stomach acid is a factor and I ate mint chocolate chip ice cream last night which is a no no food.

I walked to Starbucks and had to call the cops about something.  The operator tried to make me sound like a Karen on the phone but I was doing the right thing.

I think I might eat some more apple jacks soon. I wish I could eat a piece of pizza. I ate some fruit snacks earlier. I think I will lose a pound from this incident.

Thanks, hospital pals, have a good weekend.

 This is a fun presentation that I am listening to. It is a cool event. I mean honestly it might be the coolest event there is. 

I might go get a piece of pizza soon. I mean should I go to starbucks. I just think I want to go get a piece of pizza. I kind of don't feel good from waiting to take my medicine and not sleeping.

But I am okay but I just think nothing is going to make me feel okay.

I need to mail some books but I think I might do that tomorrow.

Am I going to go online to a nami meeting today. I do not know.

I think just wait a while and decide about the pizza.  Does anyone have any thoughts.

 Hello everyone, good news, I passed inspection.  I also took my medicine just now because I told Karla I was going to take my medicine and that is why I asked her if she would do inspection early. So I felt I needed to go ahead and take the medicine. I think I will not feel good for a while.

But it is okay. I am attending a Theology Camp online right now and it is great. 

I ate some apple jacks and a fun size snickers. I feel okay. I drank coffee earlier. I kind of want to walk to Starbucks but I am listening to this stuff online. 

Will I go to any groups later. Hmm I do not know.

Karla addressed the issue with me saying stuff about her.  

She said that she took an ethics class in college. I kind of feel bad for criticizing her integrity when she has probably worked hard.  But she did turn off the elevator and air conditioning unfairly.

So I think it is okay that I have said stuff because that is the role and re-enactment that is happening for advocacy purposes.  I think Daniella helps Karla and our staff is good right now.

I am feeling the medicine right now and will have to lay down. Have a great day everyone.

Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Friday, Oct 9 at 7:30 am.  I think I am done cleaning for now. I think I have it as good as I can do it, which isn't that good, but noticeabley different from yesterday and the day before. I acutally do have one more bag of trash to take out and replace and then that will be it.  There are still a few things in the sink but it is clean.  And the stove and counter are clean. But it looks cluttered but is actually much better.  And the bed is made, the table is clear, the floor is swept and mopped, the clothes are on the chair, the cart has the books. There are still two clutter corners but it is not that bad. It is not really food trash or something like that. Also there is a pile of clothes in the corner of the bathroom but it is always like that and i think it is okay.

I might see if Daniella can come look at it since she saw it at its worst a week ago during the air conditioning swindle. 

I mean I still have an hour or so and could do some improvements if I need to.  But I think I am done with the main stuff. I also changed clothes. I kind of think I should go sit outside for a while and drink the coffee I just made.  Hmm. Maybe I will wait until after I finish the coffee and then go outside.

I mean if you think about it, I cleared out some of that food two weeks ago.  And did about 6 bags of trash total this month.  I mean that is a lot of trash, where does that come from.

Well, does anyone have any thoughts?

 Hello everyone, it is 6:30 am. The sink and counter area are almost done. It took about seven rounds of cleaning. And I threw away some stuff.  This chair area is the other problem area. It is kind of getting hot in my room. I am going to turn the fan on.

Ok the fan is on and I am cooling off. I think I will take a break and then do make my bed at 7 am. So that means, make bed, do final wipe down, throw away water bottles, do a final sweep, and clear corner some. 

Then I really think that should do it.  I mean they know when a room is not clean, but it could be much worse. I have been working on it for several days.

I am getting tired now. I did not sleep that much tonight.

Does anyone have any thoughts?