Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Thursday. Oct 8. I might skip comedy tonight because of inspection. I need to wash the dishes and do the counter. I am going to try to do that at 12 pm noon. I just went to the post office and Walgreens. I got some water and cokes.

Soon I need to do a grocery order but it might be tomorrow or Saturday or even Sunday. I feel kind of depressed because I am lower than the SCBWI standards.  I think I won't be getting mad but it adds to my feeling of me always being the one to not count. 

I feel better after running that ad, though. I mean maybe there is a conspiracy and the books are reaching some people, but I don't think they are.  And I also think it is weird to apply that social work strategy to me, to take away any social reward and redistribute it later, supposedly to me but probably to other people who didn't do what I did. It is just weird to do that to my whole career when I don't even believe in it for mental health.

And then this is the year to announce that I survived 30 years with mental illness and I am going to have to say that I should have shot myself in the garbage dump when I was 23.  

 I do not feel that good but it is okay. It is just some fatigue and not that bad. I think possibly some of it is because I am boosting that mouse video. I think it is a cute video. The numbers are not as good as they said they would be. So possibly I will adjust my expectations for instagram.

I decided not to apply for that self publishing award. I would have to change the book cover and take out a few pictures. I mean actually it could be done but I like the books the way they are.

I hope the SCBWI people are not mad at me and don't make me lose membership over ai use.

I think I am finishing up my career and it was meant to be and I am just kind of a sloppy person.

I watched a video from my lawyers office and they are awesome. I think I should email Tristan sometime with my wishes in writing that he be included in sorting out rights with the backup file people, even with Wade as the executor.  I mean this blog post could be used as that request.

I miss Ravneet. My mind is not as inappropriate as some people might think.

Soon I will sleep or go to support group.  Right now I am drinking coffee and I think I will watch youtube.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Wednesday, Oct 7. I just took my medicine and earlier I took an iron pill. It is 5 pm. I probably will end up sleeping but who knows, maybe I will go to support group at 7.

Friday I have inspection. I need to do the dishes. I think if I don't fall asleep soon then I should get the kitchen area clean tonight.  Then I can do an easier prep for inspection.  But really it is not that bad. I think I can stay up late thursday and get it done.  But I do not know. Sometimes I feel kind of paralyzed.

Possibly I should find some youtube videos to watch because I did not really do that much today besides therapy and laundry. But I also talked to a phone a friend. I think I should take a shower soon, too.

Does anyone have any thoughts?

I think I have enough jokes prepared for my comedy class but maybe it would be good if I could think of one or two more. I do not really know how to brainstorm that well for it, other than to suddenly think of something randomly.

Gice Tripp's theology camp starts tomorrow. But I have comedy class and a children's book presentation but I will attend friday and saturday. I still have not mailed joke books to certain people.

There is kind of a lull in attention material.  Maybe that means someone else deserves attention.

But I do not know.  Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday, Oct 6. I am watching Watership Down on youtube. It is pretty good. I tried to watch it a few years ago and couldn't because of trauma symptoms. But now I can watch it. Before that, it was when I was a little kid that I saw it and my dad tried to explain it to me.

The beginning is kind of bad and has a false creation myth. I think I remember my dad saying it was not true and I appreciate that. But I could be remembering the time jsut a few years ago that I tried to watch it.

Ok now there is biting and I remmeber the three red marks that would be on the rabbits. It is such a scary movie. Like kind of cool to make a scary movie about rabbits. I mean think of the Rats of Nimh like that, too. I am glad to participate in this genre but my books are not as scary and the mice are kind of cute.

My mouse father is ready to take legal action against anyone who calls me a bad person.

So anyway I need to go do laundry. I think I will try to do that soon but not quite yet.  

Gice I missed a meeting today because I could not find the link. So I went to the MC meeting and I hope MC is okay. I might have said the wrong thing at some point but really I think it was interesting.

This movie is kind of a good background movie if you are an artist working on some mice or something.

Should I do some more canva videos? Maybe when I do laundry.

I decided not to boost the art posts yet. I just don't feel like it and I decided to just do that video. Maybe there will be another video but I do not know. Facebook is not crazy about the blob art and I don't know why. Do they think it is inappropriate or something? I just don't think it is.

But anyway Reuben and Evangelina are back from visiting Tiffany.  They were there for several years and now they are back in my apartment.  Isn't that weird? They really were there and they really are back.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Pals. This is Refried. I did a few chores. I am about a third done with cleaning my apartment. I think next I might do laundry but I would try to do that at 11 pm tonight. So maybe next is dishes and counter. I mean maybe at 2 pm like I planned. 

I feel kind of good about what I got done. The bag of trash, picking up stuff, and making the bed. It did make a difference. So now I might watch the video from Alisa Childers about a certain topic. I do not know if it directly pertains to me. I have certain opinions about the topic.

I do not feel like walking to the places today. I feel like staying in and getting my apartment under control. I should also do the phone a friend later. I have good lunch food and I recovered from not feeling well two days ago.[

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, I am caught up on medicine and sleep.  I think at about 2 pm I will try to clean my apartment.  I will start with trash, then do dishes, then do counter, make bed, and do laundry. Then later I will do the floor and clutter. That is not that bad. I have kind of kept up with trash.

Yesterday I felt happy for a while and then my friend questioned it some. So I do not really know what is true and I think it is weird to feel that particular happiness for a few hours two or three times fourteen years after I qualified for the blessing.  But mostly I am okay and the path is what it is.

I think I have to go back to ignoring the news a little more but these were some interesting cases for a while and I will keep everyone in my prayers.

This morning I dreamt that I was at some kind of craft and variety show and some people there did not like me but I still tried to support the art and comment.  It was kind of weird because it was very gourmet and high end but the people really weren't necessarily like that.

The anxiety group was good yesterday and I felt better after being kind of scrambled at Starbucks.

The conspiracy said to boost some more facebook posts but I don't really know what to boost and I did share a lot this summer. So I am not really in a rush that much.

I might call a phone a friend soon that I have not talked to in a while. I actually did talk to them but I think I will tell them the recent progress.

So anyway thanks everyone, have a good day.

 pals.

i could not send the intended query because the book was previously published but i did not know that until after drafting it. So I am kind of sad about it and did feel like maybe that was a good match.

Maybe this means the pretend agent is really my agent.

It is 2 pm now. I think I might walk to starbucks in a while. I really need to clean my apartment soon. But it is not that much of an emergency. My life is simple with not that many belongings. I just need to mainly do trash, dishes, laundry, and put out some more of those bug catchers.

My stomach is okay for now so that is a good sign.

Possibly this week is when I should pass out poetry books in the park.

I need to googly that new title. I hope I didn't accidentally copy anyone. If I did I will try to change it to "Food Intolerance is Not a Joke." Or something like that.  

Ok have a great day everyone.