Hello everyone, I just woke up. I had a cocky dream from mascot days where I unexpectedly had to be cocky at a game.  It was kind of rough but okay.  Now it is 1:30 and I go to comedy class at 4:30.  I saw that our class show is on June 14 and I have two other things scheduled that day. So I need to figure out what to do. I might be able to be in a different class's show. 

I am leaving here to go to comedy class probably at about 4:30. There was a snafu with the peanut sauce spilling in the bag of thai food but it is okay. 

Gice there is something in the works and I agree with myself about it.  It is not that easy but I think it is the right path. I just have to wait on some emails. But then I have a little bit of work to do.

Pals, life is weird, isn't it. Definitely the heritage poem also soon, but maybe just to India. I mean if the people in India really can read the poems and like it, then why not go with that. I wish they could get the books. I do not know how to make that happen. I mean find a publisher? I do not know. 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I just had some weird dreams but it could be from the spicy food. Soon I need to take my medicine. I should do that right now, shouldn't I. I think I will and then go back to sleep.

Do you gice like my new poem? I think it is one of my best poems.  But that heritage poem is good too. Maybe I will send that one around soon, too.  I mean I do not know if the poems reach enough people in America but even 5000 total with what, 300-400 actual readers, I mean that is better than nothing. You think of an open mic, which would be about thirty people.

Gice I have a facebook friend who is a meme-ster: I'm awesomesauce.  I am happy about that. Psychotic Delusions is also my friend probably still.  

Pals am I revving up this jokes page again? Maybe with some poems? I mean maybe.

Pals, the new card. What to do, i will find out today. If I don't hear back then it is facebook money for now.  One round of videos, ten mil, getting close to the 200 mil goal.

Gice it feels good to reach the jokes crowd in India. They make me feel better. They are nice and say nice things.  God is going to give them a lot of stuff. I have to see that as my main purpose to pray. I don't know if some people see that more than I do. I mean I just feel like in some ways it is rude for people to only shove me more towards that and ignore my other efforts. But at the same time. I mean let's get the cash, I do agree with that.

Well, that is all. have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, my church knows I bought Thai food instead of tithing. Well it is not over yet. I could still tithe but I donated to some mental health people.

I just think one of my old churches that could have supported my page didn’t and may think I did not tithe enough there but when my salary was 12k a year for ten years I mostly gave to world vision. And I won’t be considered a non tither for it. And they are too glad that I am gay so they can tell themselves my India posts aren’t worth anything and don’t count. A lot of people would have gotten a salary for it. Imagine that. 30 or 40k a year and no one would so much as give me 150 dollars to reach a million people. Well my friend Jay did and now he owns the rights to a hundred books. To be split of course among the others, some of which might have already done their thing.

Anyway that is one of the worst things about the swindle is how the church people who thought I wasn’t doing right say haha we knew it. I just feel that whoever decided certain things really wasted something great.

Anyway here I am once again saying oh well there is always heaven. 

I thought of an idea for a poem.

 Hello everyone, I need to practice my comedy routine. It is Monday, June 1. I emailed someoen today to see if they want some books and at first I typed in the wrong email so it bounced back and I thought I was blocked.  But then I saw that I had just typed the wrong email. So I re sent it and I think it will be okay. I mean who knows if they want books. The timing is kind of not ideal.  Because these people do summer work that is overseas. So I mean who knows.

The weather outside today is the best ever. I should take a walk but I want to go to a nami group. Then I have my writers group and I do not know what I will write but I think I will do one of the prompts.

I kind of have felt some lostness in recent days, like not knowing what to do with myself etc. But I think just continue with the normal stuff. Maybe try to attend more autism stuff. I kind of want to do a mental health program somewhere. I might see if there is one on this campus that I can do but everyone might hate me but we do not know.

I think some people know I have been bullied at the post office for a long time now but to me when I actually can't get my mail is when I have to report it.

Anyway I am going to probably work at the judgement day game show program in heaven and it will be fun and I just need to keep that in sight and not give up and not be overly depressed and mad.

Maybe I will read some books or something for a while. I think I will try to memorize my comedy routine for tomorrow.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 5:30 am on Monday. I got some sleep and took my medicine and soon I will probably sleep some more. I was just reviewing my list of given books and I am at about 2850 plus maybe 300-400 that for some reason did not get recorded. So it is about 3000 which is a career. 

But I think it is wasteful to not keep distributing. I am sad that I am not more successful and don't have a name that reaches more into lasting literary resources. I think I delivered on that level and was wronged in some way. But I also think that heaven is not that far away and I can look forward to better results then someday.  Maybe with the same books. I have said that before. You just think it won't be you who gets the injustice, but it has been me enough about other things that I should have expected it more.  But at least I passed the time doing something meaningful to me.

I am also sad right not to be repelled by post office problems.  I need to order some more thin books and mail out about three main packages to people. I do not know when I will do that but I might wait a couple of days. Today is June 1st. 

My old facebook ad account has now disappeared so there are about 23 million impressions that I have no record of.  Plus the organic on that.  So I mean that is weird but maybe that is the point is that I already had this whole career for five years and that was that. But I think I might try to reach two hundred million and yet I am not sure the videos are that meaningful.

Anyway I think I need to express sometime on facebook that I think the conspiracy has been cruel to me.

I mean should I finish up with this book hobby. And say that is that. And do something else. I just am not sure there is anything else that I can do. Except maybe walk more. I mean I guess keep giving books but some people say people have enough books. Well maybe that is true.

I mean just for people to damage my health and then say it was all a beauty contest. Have fun with that in front of all of humanity. People say, they will all fall for it then, too. I just am not sure that is true.

It is weird that I did not get the social justice people but maybe they were meant to have a blind spot.

 Hopefully I can reverse the escalation. I actually haven’t missed a dose of medicine since Wednesday morning. So I think I am at five days in a row and they should not be escalating me even by their warped bullcrap standards.

I do not respect them for this. I have stuff to do this week and don’t need to be brimming with anger. But hopefully I will think of a few more videos and it will be worth it.

In fifteen minutes I have my online Bible study. I am planning to go and I think it will help.

I think my Facebook posts are okay. I think people are really hesitant about the gerbil post but it is okay and I am glad I posted it.

I did not practice comedy today but probably will later.

I have to repeat that I disagree with the conspiracy’s cruel management of my books. It is mean and hurt me and everyone in my life.

 Ok I do kind of feel like crap and I figured out it is from inspection not going well and that has nothing to do with inspection but is because I missed two doses of medicine but not in a row of course. But really one just got postponed so I think I only missed one dose. And this is because I had to be somewhere on time one day and my sleep schedule is messed up because the bridge tortured me and ruined my life. So now we are in slur land and I will need to make some videos for my bully chronicles page. It also makes me think of lost friends and that is also too bad. So I need to maybe socialize a little differently and get back to phoning some friends again.

Anyway I decided to make some coffee here and I might not walk to Starbucks. I will try to call Philip soon. He might be mad at me.