Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 3:17 on Sunday. I just ate some apple jacks. I think I might cook the frozen pizza but what I really want is cheese grits. I just remembered that there is some popcorn in the microwave.

My neighbor beat on my door again but it was not as bad but I did not really need that this morning. I haven't been feeling good because of eating a cinnamon candy Wednesday that was too spicy. But I am okay. I should take an iron pill soon too but I did take one yesterday and I took my medicine last night.

I could eat a granola bar too and some fruit snacks.  I think my mood was slightly lower from not doing any creative projects.  But I feel like I discovered that I have done everything I can on the books and am at a resting place with it. But I do not really know. Maybe I am supposed to keep advertising.

I am sad that I missed the puppet show but I just did not feel able to attend and I made my choice to send a snake video to Algeria. 

Does anyone have any thoughts?

 Pals.  This is Refried. It is 1:47. I feel better. I went to the group in question and it was great.  They treat me fine.  There have been some issues before but sometimes I do not know if it is really my paranoia.  

So anyway I met a cool therapist who has been through stuff worse than me possibly. I asked her about forgiveness because she seemed so peaceful and she actually still had some violators in question.  So that really built a bridge with me and I will continue working on my own prayers for people.

I think at 2 pm I might go to the mensa discussion group. 

I learned a lesson which is to always show up if possible.

So okay. Do you gice think it is bad that I am pretending to have an agent? Well to me it is kind of fun and I might as well at this point.

I should sit down and do some comedy homework shouldn't I? 

My girlfriend made me feel better this morning. She gave me secret messages and it was fun. She is mostly proud of me. She said something funny. 

I ate a candy apple a few minutes ago and now I am drinking milk. I think I will go buy a bag of sugar after this meeting. A huge bag of sugar is my favorite thing to buy.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 9:36. I am drinking a coffee right now. I feel a little bit attacked by the liberals this morning. Some of it is just a mood.

Some of it is from a voice inflection, some is from an email, some of it is from a mental health group that sometimes treats me like crap, some of it is from a bill that is hard to pay, some of it is from interpreting the news in a slower way than the aggressive political rollout, and some of it is from my neighborhood.

Definitely that is one of my findings from emotional abuse is the use of prior circuits of pain so that someone can activate a whole set of bad feelings with less obvious provocation.

Anyway I will probably feel better later. I mean am I going to boost some posts or do a book ad? Maybe.

I might try to get the copyright help from my mom sooner than my trip. But I don’t know. I think that would help in some ways and yet it isn’t that urgent. I am kind of ok for a month.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I posted my book. I think possibly I need to say more about the CRC.  What threw me off was that it was Tennessee for that other thing and not Texas. So then that left an empty space that probably should be filled with something about the use of drugs and coercion.

I have been a little slow with this case. It is hard to believe about the essay punishment but no justice. I don't mean that in a way like I don't believe it. I mean that in a way like it is shockingly poor. But anyway I need to check on the botched execution case. Ok I just read the latest article. It is very sad to me. 

Anyway I just cooked those potato perogis and it is yummy. I am also watching the children's illustration piano music videos.  It is just great. I had a good daydream where I went to the hospital and my agent visited me, then two doctors were nice to me before I went to the TV room to eat a meal with Ravneet and four other people. One doctor, one friend from the pretend program, another doctor, and a volunteer friend. We ate potato pergogis and then hibachi steak and shrimp and scallops with white sauce and lemon butter sauce and possibly some A-1 mayo combo. Then we went to the other TV room for hot chocolate and games.  It was fun. I felt like I was really at the mental hospital.  

I do feel some addiction potential with the daydreaming but mostly I feel some impairment from low iron and whatever psych meds did. Like my attention span is compromised for daydreaming and I am lucky to have any social attachments in my mind at all. Depression and other conditions that reduce love feelings are very serious and the mental health people need to really figure out how to help everyone restore their brain's functioning instead of just sedating people and making it worse.

Anyway that is so bad to say the daydream but I think everyone's reputations are protected. Does anyone think it is funny? I kind of do. But some things are not funny like how everyone needs prayer and support right now.  Like the shuttle bus adventure made me more aware of people out there working. It is not freaking easy. It is not easy for anyone. The corporate people, the service professions, and all the people in poverty at night. It is just really a survival situation and it is going to get cold soon.

Does anyone have any opinions? I mean how is it different from making a movie or reality show. Well I do not know. Do people question my judgement? I don't. I feel so much better on less medicine.

 Pals I am sad to not be at the puppet show and I think I will have some regret about it but I really couldnt afford it and feel that a pace of staying in my neighborhood a lot actually does work for my current condition. So I am really sorry everyone, but I did enjoy crank yankers and I feel that it had to be this way. If I change my mind for tomorrow then I will try to get there somehow but I believe I feel torment in audiences and would be thinking thoughts about how it isn't that funny. Is that what you really want? 

Anyway, these are some of my best blog posts. I actually do think there are still some hints of disgruntledness in some places, but mostly it makes sense. 

Will I write that story about the FBI person. Well maybe. Does anyone have any thoughts? I kind of want a pizza. Do you guys think I should order a pizza? I mean I do not know. 

This is a fun VCFA event and very low effort and it did keep me company. So I think that was very thoughtful and I appreciate it. Well have a good day everyone.

 Ok everyone, I just looked up the exact date for literature event and did not see the names of the people I had in mind. RG, Esme W, T'nahesi, JH, and maybe one or two who I am forgetting. All of those I personally think could be twofers. But that is based on my own habit of conflation. Also I am reminded that I feel like we are in a flourishing time period of literature, or are completing one, and it could be good to have multiple winners for some of these big time awards. Like maybe five or so for each one. You think it would diminish it but maybe not. 

For this one, based on the list I just saw, I have to enthusiastically cast my vote for JK Rowling. And then say something so rude, which is that it would happily be for something that was "actually creative."  I really mean that as a genre label, but I think sometimes the genres that seem less strictly philosophical actually get underestimated. People are mad now because I implied that their books were one dimensional, but sorry, I just really like high concept literature.

So okay. I do not feel tortured by this topic. I feel like a normal writer who tries to be successful with various amounts of failure and greed mixed in.  I have to congratulate all the mental health people who helped me. Because this is a positive mental place to be and I am thankful. It took a lot of work from everyone. When I am a euthanasia client in NYC, it will be from avoiding medical pain and not from life despair.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am going to take my medicine soon. I can't remember what all I have been thinking about but the most recent stuff is that it is Nobel Prize season.  Definitely when I wrote Horizon Cow, I saw a certain possible path, but things were shut down about ten steps ahead of any kind of contender status. One of my main interests was the evangelism opportunity of sharing christian humor with a more secular audience. I do not know how many people shared that goal and are actually sad to see such reinforcement of division instead. 

I feel very satisfied with the opportunities that did happen in that regard. I feel that people in India were nice to me and accepted a lot of my work very cheerfully. And that does heal my soul a lot.  And life in New York has had some consoling aspects to it, though I have to say I do still feel the loss here. 

I also feel able to see things as God's plan more, though I think some people have an erroneous view of this, where they gleefully think that God disqualified me from having a public career because he saw something unworthy in my heart. To me it is a really difficult thing to discern, but mainly I think the issue is that if that were the case, he probably wouldn't use torture as his main tool to prevent some kind of honorable life. And torture is what clearly happened and became a permanent health condition for me. Really, that is more likely to be from a darker, life opposing side of things. Possibly it is a higher honor to be identified by evil as a worthy target.  But really that happened very early on and was horrifically clear for about five years in my twenties.  I mean I do not know if any of us had ever seen a more clear Satanic assault on a mostly normal person.

Definitely a lot of people have been fooled by my circumstances, and many people hate me when I suggest that there is something conspicuously missing, which is any one of my five careers I qualified for. But I have to say that I believe what is missing is in fact, conspicuous. It is on the table in front of everyone, either to be recognized or denied.  And as people realize it and feel embarrassed, just know that you actually are also one of the crime victims from certain institutions that took their stand against me for whatever mysterious reason that I still don't know. The crime that happened did target millions of people who would have benefited socially and spiritually from some funny poems that share faith.  So you were in fact, wronged, but it is not by me. It was a very valuable thing that was ruined, which had the investment of multiple thoughtful communities, as well as the literary value of the work itself.  So actually it was a lot of people swindled, and possibly the whole "general public" of America. But there is something else that is as weird to figure out as why God would have a plan that involves a missing readership for funny books.  And that is that I kind of do feel that the people most hurt are the people who have chosen to bully me in front of the smaller remaining conspiracy.  You were caught in your racism and you lost my respect as well, which is actually something cool, whether you realize that or not. I think some people knew it when it was happening and armed themselves with lawyers who made my life a living hell. Well that choice, too, is why I have to question my guess that God does not use torture to achieve his true purposes. Because wow you're all a bunch of child abusers who deserve to be humiliated.