Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is around 3 pm on Wednesday. I just woke up after taking my medicine at about 9:30 am. I feel better after some sleep.  I made a video yesterday with some music in the background of animal video clips.  I sent it to two people to get opinions before I post it anywhere.  One friend said he did not really like it and felt that it did not make total sense.  That is what I asked him about because I wasn't sure it made total sense either.  Honestly possibly the same idea might be better with a different song.  

And yet it kind of did turn out exactly how I imagined it. I have a poem I need to write.  I actually have two ideas. I will do that soon. i am drinking coffee right now.  I did not go get lunch with my friend because I was worried about something and too tired from staying up all night.  So I will go get my rent check later this week.  

I think my medicine is right and I just have ups and downs because life is weird.  And the song thing was on my mind because of a deliberate trigger from a facebook troll. I am really kind of sensitive to that but don't get trolled that much.  Also I think some of the opposition to my christianity is a liberal perspective difference and then I don't have the conservative audience to appreciate it instead.  But probably that is part of the path for a reason and has been part of why I could have a normal life with a lot of writing time instead of some kind of public engagement.

So anyway does anyone have any thoughts? I think I will do laundry tonight and clean the apartment a little bit.  It is really not that bad.

Interestingly my friend Ginger might also review the video and she has a similar mental condition as mine.  So she can tell me if she thinks it was my mental illness that inspired it. I kind of think even if it was, is it not interesting mental health artwork? Well I do not know.

I missed my friend Pam's presentation. I hope they send a replay.  But they might not.  Kind of like how the Author's Guild did not send the replay of that other meeting.

That makes at least three events I have missed recently, but it is a good reminder of impairment. Like I kind of am lucky to be able to do things like manage my own groceries etc.

Well have a great day everyone.

 Wow, that is really funny, my pastor just preached the Love is kind sermon at a mice wedding online.  I mean I don't know if she meant that on purpose but that is how I see it and it is funny. It is some of my mice family from my mice parents who sleep near my face on my bed. That is where they live and my mouse father works in a bank and donates millions of dollars to places all over the United States and possibly in other countries.

Ravneet's sugar glider parents visit sometimes too, and there is a squirrel doctor that has to help sometimes when there is a traumatizing episode.

Also there are imaginary groundhogs that live under my bed. 

I had a good day today and feel okay. I am sending around facebook posts and it is kind of all very optional. I also feel like today's posts were all not the strongest ever but still good and I made the right choices about it.

Tomorrow I am going to try to take the books to BAC, then pick up two orders at the post office. Actually it might be late in the day that the orders are there.  I also need to get my rent check soon and will try to get a gyro at 86th street when I go to Wells Fargo.

What about the iron medicine. Well maybe it will be time for a steak and eggs soon.  

Pals. I go to a bible study on sunday nights and I really like it. I really like all of them.  I had to gaysplain them some the past two weeks but I believe I will kind of not keep it up so much.  But I care about htem being in the know.  I like to tell people the stuff that puts them on the cutting edge for my identity groups.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone. Today is Sunday, Sept 20. I am doing a conspiracy jackpot prayer for the world, requesting that everyone in the world receive all things ever requested by anyone in the conspiracy.  Well I believe that also means that people can add to it and add themselves to the conspiracy if they want their prayers to benefit more people. 

I feel that this is an opportunity for people who pray more traditionally than I do.  Some people keep prayer journals and faithfully pray for their friends and family in very specific, thoughtful, conversational and recurring ways. And most people know that I am like 45 trillion this and thats, imagining categories and locations and networks, and I list a bunch of nouns and gameshow prizes for crowds and strangers. I believe people do appreciate it and have tried to offer creative attention in return.  It is really sweet.  But I also sometimes see how weak I am at the other kind of prayer.  And I think the people who have been a little more patient and thoughtful might like to be included and have their prayers reapplied.  Some people probably don't think it is a thing.  They probably are like, show me in the bible one person who did that.

Well I'll show you someone in the bible.  Myself.  I am in the bible when it talks about the church and when Jesus says some stuff about future believers, and when it says God so loved the world that he sent his only son so that whoever believes in him sill not perish.

So that includes me, and I pray like this.  And some people knew it and witnessed facebook, and I don't see how anyone doesn't think that at least some of social media is obviously an answer to a mentally ill person's prayers.  I mean that could be the whole gag of it, is that it is kind of comical.  A funny memory for the world.  Like remember the turn of the milennium when people had nervous breakdowns and prayed a lot.  And then there was a complicated attention economy for almost the whole world. Because that is what we all wanted.  Attention. Like what we saw on TV growing up. and we got it. Yay!!!

So anyway I do not know why I am bringing this up except to say that for this jackpot blessing, it could be good if people added some stuff for either people they know or for people in China or the next generations or something, so we can maximize the request during this time span.  And honestly I don't feel that trillion trillion effect like what happened during the hacking. So I feel some limitations.

Well that is all, I am adding another post after this.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 10:43 am on Sunday. I had some ups and downs yesterday but am okay. I felt some of the career pain, which I often have enough relief from. 

My friend Haley talked to me and really did good with the religious support. Also she told me that library book was in fact a good book.  It was kind of a neutral, unbiased view. I mean. I don't know why it would be so unbiased when she is my friend, but she was like, yeah, it is a good book.

So okay. I had felt a happy feeling when I thought of people reading the books, but it can happen later and with other people.  And I think that I will put these people who didn't get a book back on the list and maybe try sending a joke book. I mean it is not the same and yet maybe that is more time friendly anyway.

If you are reading this and are one of the people, don't lose hope for your original book, but it is not that easy to do what I did when I mailed that batch of books. 

So okay. I got about a hundred views on that NYC post.  Some people really liked it. I think it is a cute post and true. I mean is another thin book in the works? I think I am far from that.

I currently have a lot of 7up bottles near my work station and I think maybe I should do a two week soda slow down. But I am doing well with the walking. 

Pals I had a good discussion with my Queer Kid Lit group yesterday and I think I am in a good place with attitude for the book industry. I think I really need to turn my attention to making sure everyone has a good place in the purgatory book worlds and children's book animal life. That is some of the purpose from me being stationed at Barnes and Noble for those years. It was to dip into other realms and imaginary lands and adventures for all people and populations that I would not have guessed. 

Well, have a good day, everyone.

 hey everyone this is refried, I feel better. I like the person who I sent the book to by accident. She emailed me to tell me and said something clever.  It makes me happy that she got the book and things will be okay. I mean I made my choice to send to addresses without being totally certain and there could be a 5 out of 10 bumble.  

What about the other person who did not get the book. I had trouble believing that he really did not get the book.  So I think my mind is kind of far gone right now.  I just am not sure I can do anything else with writing that is not disabled.

But I can try again with the people who did not get their book and really there were a few other people who could have been added so I mean maybe there will be another batch that is fun to send.

Let's not give up, just keep doing what I can every day.

What else. I think I will eat some food soon. I already had the turkey frozen meal. I mean honestly it feels like Christmas a little bit.

I did a new meme and it is pretty funny. It is the veggie tales tomato and I said something about conservatives throwing tomatoes at my comedy. I think it was good.

Well have a great day everyone.

 Pals, I think I was only 5 for 5 with the addresses. Sorry about that, I will try again sometime so it is not a fakeout.

also I just now saw the weird converse wording, sorry about that. I did not mean it as misrepresenting.

well, I did the best I could, I guess there is a decline in functioning and then the other stuff that didn't go well but I think I am able to accept it that someone bullied me at a key time and my career disappeared and there will be no recovery.

well have a good day everyone.

  Hello everyone, this is Refried. I just went to an awesome presentation. It is a good person who did something interesting and stuck with their preferred outlets and platforms in a way I respect. So way to go.

No one tortured me but I was worried that their actual presentation was yesterday and they did this one to catch stalkers but I am not a stalker and I think they know I just like that person in the same way as everyone else.

But now I see that other post I did in a different light and wonder if it was too rude. But I think it is okay. I mean people can read my posts and think anything they want.

So now I am going to take some books to Bronx Arts Council.