Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Friday, Sept 25. I am thankful for my life and the coffee I am drinking. I am also thankful for shelter, electricity, and running water, etc. We are about to have a storm in NYC and there could be some flooding.  There have been about twenty weather incidents in the past few years where I have been thankful to be a disabled person who can stay indoors. 

I am not able to say how thankful for everyone who helps me survive which is a lot of people. There are tax dollars involved so it is a lot of people who probably don't feel a lot of credit for what they have done.

I think I am supposed to give a speech tomorrow at Toastmasters. Soon I need to take my medicine and get some sleep. But I think I will write a script for the speech and plan out the order of demonstrating canva.  Because that is what my speech is about.  Using Canva. One reason I need to prepare is so I don't suddenly say something religious at the wrong time. I think I will tell them that during the speech. 

Now do I write it tonight or tomorrow morning.  I am thinking stay up for a while, work on the presentation, and then sleep later until like 11 am tomorrow.  I think I need to rest for a while though because I felt some heartburn. So I will try to feel better and then prepare my speech. I think I will use an outline and maybe do it my own way first without using the tutorials as much.

But I can see how a script is not what I need. I need to do an outline. Anyway I think I did not talk to Ravneet today. I hope she will be okay in the storm. I was online or talking to phone a friends for nine hours today. I think that is good for me but I feel kind of busy.

Something else that makes me happy is that I prayed a lot for that guy who sang the Pledge Allegiance to the Lamb song at FCA that time. And now I think he is blessed because his offering resulted in an interesting outreach to Algeria and some other countries.  And the number of people who will see the video I made with that song is going to be about the number that fit in a USC stadium. I think that is sweet. And you do have to say that the reason I know about that song is because he sang it that time.

I mean frankly you also have to say that is sweet of the facebookers to participate in the conspiracy.

Well, that is all for now. 

 Hello everyone, I had such an interesting dream last night. The dream had a lot to do with the medicine daydream thing and I went to a new college and made friends and there was a simon and garfunkel concert but I was wondering if they would be back together in heaven and then there was a new setting where I went to the mountains and this building was going to collapse but people were trying to get the food out from a convenience store and then sit somewhere that they could be safe and there were some homes that were too dirty inside and two friends had written a children's book and then someone from Doctors Without Borders said I needed care for that old medicine problem.

I mean that is the series of things and it was important in each dream that I had that medicine problem and it made the dream kind of interesting and real.  

But people have helped me with that stuff that happened but this was still an interesting dream.

So anyway, I think my video is doing really well on facebook and some people are appropriately like WTF, but I think also my thought that a certain culture would like it is true.  Like it is not an offensive video. Like all it is is a nice picture of Jesus, a bible verse from genesis, and then nice animals fighting snakes.  And the song that is a cheesy evangelical song.  Do you guys think I should have cut off the chorus part? I mean I do not know, I think it fades better into the background for the intro.

So anyway, I will probably do some other videos sometime.  

I mean to me, there is something theological to consider, which is the idea of animals fighting actual snakes as a revelation and witness of Jesus Christ. And how a lamb is their captain. And he is a literal lamb. Like there is an animal identity thing in the bible.  The wolf thing in Isaiah, the lion and the lamb, it is all real stuff, like possibly people have animal combos that make them who they are.

So anyway, the book of genesis, I mean you gotta love it. When I was a kid I loved it and was so excited in sixth grade when we read about the tree and the garden and I remember the actual paragraphs in the bible, like reading it, and being like yes, this is it, the snake and garden, Adam and Eve. Because you hear about it as a kid and then you learn it and it is a cool story and God knows it.  And you aren't blinded by deception by first hearing about it in a literature class where they call it a myth. You know it is true.

So anyway, that is all.  I feel okay. I had to remake my coffee and really I should go buy milk. I think the storm is not starting yet.

But I kind of feel an okay safe feeling. I don't mean that literature classes did so bad. Most literature classes were very good for many years.

Pals I am sad I could not stay longer at the poetry thing last night but hopefully I will be back. It could be a very frequent social life there. Also the zoom presentation was a good experience so it worked out okay.

Well have a nice day everyone.

 Pals. This is Refried. I kind of want to go buy some milk but I am not sure it is that safe. I might just use ice cream for a couple of days for coffee. 

I just made some coffee so I think I will in fact just use what I have for the next two days.

Today was good but I was tired and had some worries sometimes.  But I think I am okay now and I got some sleep and made an appearance at a poetry thing and then picked up some chinese food which is rare for me, and then I attended something online that made me feel a little better about using ai.

I missed a comedy coach session with Carolyn and I do not know if I just didn't do right or if we will meet next week. I think it has been okay and just right and tracks along as I think of jokes which honestly sometimes is at a slow pace.

The thing with the video and interpreting the animals as different people: I mean I could be wrong about who is who.  I think it brought back some of my problem feelings but I got an email suggesting that my suffering as a loser counts, too. I mean that is how I see it and it does help me to see that.  I think it is an example of the displacement strategy from cognitive behavioral therapy. 

Pals I was so sleepy when I woke up but I got three good hours of sleep. 

What about the video? I paused it and restarted it.  I felt like some comments were powerful. Possibly part of the population for it is more like america than the India pals.

Well, have a good day, everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I feel better after drinking that coffee and having a train that was not crowded. I think it was a reward because I did not pick up food and snacks to take home. But they might have just been nice to me because they know I had a rough time making the video.

But I feel good about it.  I can see the video with no sound and it is okay. And I think it makes enough sense but is just the usual facebook material. I also think I repurposed it enough and it is good content.  

I think it will be at 100k thruplays, which was my goal.  The views is low, like three times that, but really that is okay too and reminds me of my poems and jokes page followers.

Thanks for the support, everyone. I guess now I will catch up on sleep for a while.

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. I am at Panera on 86 st. No need to join me. People have been getting in my way on purpose for some reason but the train ride was awesome and uncrowded.

Delores and Tomoya and Gladys were all nice to me this morning and I felt better after being scared that the cops were going to say my Bronx page was like a crime or something.

I think it is okay. Also I am tired but that is because of my sleep schedule and not lack of sleep.

I am going to try to get my rent check at 9 am and then go home. Tomorrow I will prepare my speech for toastmasters. It really snuck up on me but it is only a five minute speech. 

Honestly it has been a rough week with mental health ups and downs. But I mostly still feel much better and am glad to have hope about my health.

Well that is all, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 5:48 am on Thursday. I am waiting until about 11 am to take my medicine.  I also am hopefully talking to my comedy coach in the afternoon and then I might go to that event but I might not.  The books might be for the park.  Now it is not as easy because I felt that the event gave me momentum. But it is okay.

I should visit the website again.  So anyway I stayed up because I felt like praying for the video people and I need to go to 86 street to get my rent check.  So I need to leave here at 8 am. That is two hours from now. I think I might try to clean something or hmm I should do laundry. I guess it is okay to wait a day or so but I was going to do that tonight.  However what did I do tonight? I boosted that video.  I think people will like it.  It is really a compilation of material that has already been popular on facebook. And I did a remix of it. I think people will like it and already the thru play numbers are great.

I feel like the total views isn't as high as they made it sound like it would be, but the population for this always gets less than a different kind of boost.  It just still does seem like halfsies and fourthsies.

I think they really want me to do the ai videos on instagram and that is what they are rewarding.  I mean in a way I trust them but I think they are wrong sometimes.  Like they haven't ever really appreciated the blobs as much as some of the other art.  But maybe they just really like for the religion to be more life changing for people.

So anyway, that is kind of an interesting few days. I need to prepare my toastmasters speech.  Is that for this Saturday? I man wow that happened fast. I believe I will in fact get it done. I should go through the training thing soon.  I mean I could do that now but I don't know if I will quite yet.

I think the video is just right. It is kind of funny, kind of serious, kind of simple, kind of deep. 

My apartment isn't that messy. I do need to take the trash out though. Does anyone have any thoughts?

I like the video. I am going to do another one sometime hopefully of stores I like and buildings, maybe hospitals in new york but maybe places like fed ex office in greenville and then play that song from I think Chris Sligh that says "I've seen...miracles just happen..." I like that song and always wanted to do like a collage video of customer service locations.  Not necessarily about the service but just the places themselves, like these parts of our lives that were in fact cool and took work to provide etc.

I mean maybe I should have kept that to myself and just done the video as a surprise for everyone. I don't think I am going to have a ton of videos but it is weird because I have thought of video ideas like this before.  Like some news montages with evangelical songs.

Anyway, it is pretty funny, isn't it. I think it is.  I can feel the meaning and purpose which was in question a few days ago because of this very song.  So that is interesting.

I guess I will be busy for a few days. I think I will check the toastmaster module real quick. 

 Hey everyone, I am going to cook that taco meat soon hopefully. Like in one hour. The trolls on facbook are bothering me. It is weird americans. I guess just don't worry about it. I am kind of embarrassed for them, but kind of disturbed sometimes.  So possibly just take a lot of breaks. 

Maybe I will watch some more youtube and cooking videos.

Possibly I will call Erline in a while.

I feel like the animal videos kind of cured the weird disorientation. Like to think I had to be a martyr or I didn't do right. When just survival is a fight for so many people. That reminds me to write a few poems.