Hello everyone, this is Refried. I just took some books to my PCP doctors office. It was not that easy to walk there but it worked out great. So that was five books for them this week. Next time I will try to bring some for the desk people.  I feel like everyone wants a joke book now but don't you gice think a poetry book is cool too? I just think Horizon Cow will always be a book of choice.  I have given away 300 copies plus one hundred each of the books inside it and 100 joke books that use the same jokes. So we are looking at around 600-700 books out there from those jokes. I mean are they that funny, I do not know.

So anyway, okay. It is warm in my apartment but I feel good. I got good sleep last night and this morning.  I saw the sunrise and think I might try to go outside more often to see the sunrise and sunset.

I drank some more sparkling grape juice and some coffee this morning.  Possibly soon will be some more orange sherbert shake. I need to cook some potatoes soon too.  That was actually the main expense and I hope it is worth it. I mean if I am going to spend 30 dollars on potatoes with cheese and sour cream, it is possible I should just order thai food.

So anyway I need to write down that I gave two books to the thai food people. I mean the Joke Books are still a giveaway favorite and yet wow I feel like a certain window has passed. I also kind of question the low quality graphics.  Do you guys have any opinions? Hmm I do not know. Also, should I do a black and white edition and reach more people with giveaways?  It would cost about 10 dollars instead of 20. I do not know if that is worth it. Like full color for just double. Hmm I do not know.

Well anyway, giving books does make me feel better. I need to mail Flynn's books and GSYK. And recieve this next order which wow was not as much as I originally planned. But it has four library and five joke. And then only three horizon cows. I mean honestly I almost just canceled it.

Gice what do you think about my train trip.  It is Wednesday. I hope it goes okay. Life is hard for a lot of people. A train trip isn't that hard for me, I just sit in a seat.  But in a way it is not easy and I wish I was visiting in May.  But it is okay. 

Tonight I have inspection.  Clear floor, do dishes, clear counter, make bed, clear table, tidy, put clothes in cart, probably not laundry this time.  That is not that hard, I can do it.

So okay.  The other news is that I might be regarded as not having capacity to do an advance directive. That is an interesting development.  I just think I do have competency for that and can make a list of very specific health requests.  But anyway that is interesting.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Thursday, March 12 at 6 am. I just drank some sparkling grape juice and before that I had orange sherbet with milk.  The sherbert was too frozen to mix well but that is okay. 

I put the eggs and milk in the refrigerator.  I think this grocery order was a little bit too expensive but I am glad I have the stuff, like the water, tide, etc.

Last night I felt content after cooling off outside and then getting the groceries and being in the cool trauma class that I am in. It felt like I was in a school program and I wonder if I need to be taking classes like that in these final years. It might give me a sense of purpose.

Maybe do a certificate program or something, or just keep doing those CE credits. I mean I do not know.

Life would feel very different if I had book sales. I do not know why I have to be treated so cruelly in that category.

Facebook is kind of depressing but I think I will stay on it and try to outlast the problems, most of which have been caused deliberately.  How sad that we were all so blessed and things deteriorated.  A lot of people made that choice though.  

Yesterday I missed a talk that I wanted to go to but attended a good class on AI.  Possibly I did not do right because I had to contact the organization about getting my certificates which meant I did not say something nice about the talks but I gave everyone a good evaluation.

I just don't see why they had to delay the certificates. That is frustrating. I might eventually complain.

It is very warm in my room. I will probably go outside when it is a little bit later this morning and the sun is out. I think the sun will not come out for another hour because of daylight savings time. I personally like daylight savings time.

Anyway there are a lot of suffering people out there who now have high gas prices and food might go up again because of that.  Just a lot of people not doing right. But the truth will be told. People's choices and our problems, etc.

Anyway speaking of choices I have low iron. It is because of the pantropazole.  So I really do need to take the iron medicine but it was too hard to get the medicine at Walgreens so I will try again.

I like my doctors and might take them some books later today. Then go to the post office, then maybe get iron from Walgreens. Well, have a good day everyone.

 Gice I got a 100 on my test for neurology.  Yippee, that means I am at 37.5 hours.  Tomorrow I will get my other certificates.  Yay everyone.  I am so thankful. After I studied, I felt that I would probably pass.  And then during the presentation, I could tell that the quiz would be humane.

So that is great, everyone. Sorry I missed three meetings tonight!

 Hello everyone. Today is Tuesday. Soon I will walk to my doctor’s appointment for a follow up about my gallbladder. It is acting up again a little bit because I ate some of those peanut butter and jelly uncrustables recently.

Tonight I am taking a class online and I hope I pass it. I should review the slides again before the session. If I had chosen to go to the presentation on guided imagery I would just be finishing up now. But I think it worked out.

Dr. Talreja reduced my medicine to 20 mg latuda yesterday. I am glad about that and have hope that I can recover some of my health but some damage might last a while. I think I hurt his feelings with my blog posts but that hospital did torture me.

Well, that is all for now.

 Hello everyone, I just studied some slides about the brain and the disease of reward systems involved with addiction. I believe I will be able to learn the material in the class and get a certificate for the CE.

Unfortunately, I am feeling mad as I learn because I can see some of the offensive mistakes in my medicine that have ruined my life at various times.  And the way doctors don't really know that much more than any of us do, and think it is okay when they ignore the more reliable info that we tell them.  Such as, "this medicine is ruining my life." Such as "you have ruined my health permanently and I will never recover."

Anyway, I think I will post about it on facebook soon. I mean in a way I am a broken record by now.  It is the same stuff.  I was fine on 600 mg trileptal and 1 mg risperdal.  Anything else damages exactly the reward system.  The other meds make me hungry because they are torturing my appetite system already, so to comfort it, I eat.  And all psych meds do that, and millions of doctors have given their patients diabetes and don't give a crap and never will.

Also on my mind are the social media problems and the way people found that they were able to ruin our social lives.  And they did. They ruined all kinds of things in our world, and some people were okay with it, because it meant pain for their enemies. So they were hypocrits and did not stand up to it.

Anyway I need to find that article where O.D. the neurologist gave due propers to God and Jesus.  Because frankly he did and now he is very successful. And I think it is a good example that people can use to teach others what due propers looks like.

 Hello everyone, I had another interesting Barnes and Noble dream. It started off where I was with my sister and we were in some chairs and there were people who needed money and I found some ones and fives and gave it to someone who ended up being a friend of mine who I already knew and she went to the parking lot with me and I was worried that she would demand the rest of my money but she didn't, so then I went back in Barnes and Noble and was in the cafe and it was crowded and Judy Hertzell was working there and I bought a frappacino and her book about truth and I said to her and someone else, this reminds me of the valencia frappacinos and the book called The Hours.  The store was crowded and I needed to use the mirror in the bathroom so I went to the back but there was a line so I waited and a lady with a stroller tried to block the door when I left but it was okay. The other interesting thing was that there were all these good looking well dressed sci fi people. Not really like dragon con where some people are in alien costumes but more like fancy arcade like themes and they were just good looking and seemed from a different culture.  And I ended up scanning to see if it was racially diverse and I don't know if it was.

Then soon after that I woke up and almost couldn't remember the dream.  So that is interesting. I think it was mostly a good dream. Then I thought about the trainings soon but I can't go to the extra monday one because I am going to my doctor's appointment. I think it is good that there is time in between these days even though I kind of just want to get it all done.

Was my behavior okay for the OCD. I think it was okay. I just said a few things in the chat and it was all relevant. So anyway I should go outside today a little bit if I can. I think I am caught up on sleep.

Well, that is all, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Saturday, March 7. I had a dream this morning where I was working at Barnes and Noble and laughed about something and it was funny and I stood up to the boss who most tortured me. There was a visiting manager and I laughed about something and then was wondering if I should do something like blame myself for 500 million deaths in a trial.

So that is interesting. At 10 am I have a presentation to go to and it is about OCD. I am interested in the topic and yet I always kind of haven't been a fan of it in some ways.  But I think I will be able to pay attention and pray for all the people out there with anxiety disorders. Anxiety is rough.  I think I will be a little bit triggered because my mom has an anxiety disorder and gets her relief from controlling me.  And there is a unanimous acceptance of that which I will never understand.  Why everyone thought it was my problem. Like that is what I am here for.

Anyway two nights ago I was praying for forgiveness for my mom and then I prayed another simliar prayer and saw a cobra. I think it represents and enemy being defeated.  And the thing I thought would work would be my mom's pruning shears. Well she prunes the shrubbery when she is mad at me.  So that is interesting. I mean maybe that is the weird teamwork. Because some of the dynamic has always been a resource of some kind. A negotiation on the level of world leaders.

So that is kind of a weird thing to be on my mind.  Another thing is an issue with a conference.  I will have to get that settled on Monday. It will be okay. I am just worried about a certain component of it but I think it will work out okay.

So today hopefully this seminar goes well and I will be at over 30 credits! Then Monday and Tuesday I will hit the total, and Wednesday, Friday, Saturday will finish the deal. I am glad I did some of those other credits. I mean honestly it is tempting to try to do one tomorrow but I am out of cash for it. No more will I pay. I did use almost all that my mom gave me for the classes. That could have bought a lot of books for people but I have enjoyed doing these credits.

Well, that is all for now. I had good food yesterday and still have some leftover for lunch. I think Russia is helping Iran and that is not good news. But this stuff has been brewing for years so I guess this is it. I have said before that eventually people will want the mexicans to be soldiers.  And I think that is happening today at a summit.  Well, have a good day everyone.