Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Monday, May 19. I found my mom changing the trash in my bathroom when I got home. I think she was looking for the barbecue receipt to see if I got the Lowe's store discount. But I noticed that I left a brochure for an apartment complex on the counter near my medicine.  And my mom was sighing constantly out of stress, so I suspected that she saw the brochure and concluded that I was thinking about moving to Greenville. 

So I decided to call my sister, which was my next step, but my sister had me on block. I think it is just her phone setting for the night and I don't take it personally, though I wonder if I should have asked her if I could visit again Sunday.

So then I decided to go ahead and tell mom about the brochure in case my mom needed to talk about it, because I had decided to stay in New York with the housing that I already have.

So I just told mom and she had not seen the brochure and she freaked out a little bit.

I also need to tell her I probably only have about five years left to live.  Because actually that can take the pressure off financially.

She thinks if I moved to Greenville I would need a caregiver.

I do not think so.  She wants me to talk to Gateway.  Well maybe I should.

Right now she is slamming doors and having a fit but she did it herself not only by snooping but by being the kind of person you would suspect of snooping.  By being controlling.  Also the circumstances that are kind of grief-inducing are from her prior abuse and destruction of my mental health and job possibility.

So anyway I think she will work it out and she sees Dr. Messer tomorrow.

She also freaked out because she thought I would be asking for a new car.  Well people who buy new instead of used cars are stupid.  And my parents taught me that but then they made me buy a new car so I would be in debt to them. And I paid it off while they controlled me.  They did the same thing with a computer.

Anyway, I will be fine, and probably my mom will calm down because things are going to be the same.  She can think about the possibility of me moving and decide for herself. She and my sister both have a hard time accepting that I am emotionally abused by mental health staff in new york.  It would just be so much easier if it wasn't true. so maybe let's not believe the schizophrenic person.

So okay. Tomorrow I am going to go get lunch with my friend John.  And then maybe coffee at 6 with my friend Tammy but I don't know if she can for sure. It is okay Tammy either way.

I take my medicine in one hour.

Tomorrow is May 20. I will wake up and it will be a new day.