Hello everyone, this is Refried. That was fun to have a really cool blog post for a while, which was the post before this one.  But now I am typing the usual play by play mess that is on here.  It is 5:44 pm.  I set my alarm for 5:30 and rested a while. At 6:30 I have a toastmasters orientation. I can pray for college students and other young people if I have intrusive thoughts during the event. After that event I am going to a writing for your life presentation.  So I am skipping my two regular things.  I need to email Tami and tell her that.

Ok I just emailed her. Pals. I had an interesting afternoon with some fear and support. At Starbucks I was looking through my old twitter account and saw a funny onion article about a half pipe event for fork lifts.  So it was a photo of a forklift that was up above a skateboard ramp.  Well two days ago, I just had a dream where my friend's son was doing flips on a ramp with unicycle like a bike stunt, and I detected what I call a "Story shield." To me, a story shield is when God writes things into your life that throw off the spies of satan.  So if everything in your life was a movie scene or literary or monitored even more closely, there are similar patterns, events, words, and even thoughts that could be mistaken for other things by an evil spirit or some kind of surveillance from hell. I mean I even fear that a book about my life could be read later and then time traveler demons have complete access to disrupt almost anything.  And then one of my worst fears is more that the devil himself is actually reading my mind.  But I actually only felt his eyes on me one time when I had my most extreme prophecy as described at the end of Kmart novel.  It was when I saw God, and he was a tower reaching into the heavens. And then it split at the top like a mountain and a bookmark sliced open a story as if in a bible and two hands that at first were children's hands and became older offered a seedling plant and then all of a sudden there was an Egyptian cobra and striped pharoah headdress like thing and these black beetles or leeches covered me as I lay there and I imagined them all turning into marbles and piling into a cardboard box and then the box being melted by ore at the foot of my bed.  And then what to do with the ore. I think I imagined it turning into translucent butterflies and leaving the building.  So that was it. Anyway, during that, it seemed like Satan watched it from a certain place 90 degrees from the tower. I mean that is not how to describe the location.  It is kind of near the fire alarm that I feel watched from anyway.

So okay. That was the only time I ever felt Satan's eyes on me but I still get scared when there is a story shield.  And right now I do think there is a female demon within my soul who can probably understand a lot of my thoughts.  Something similar happened recently and I wrote on my blog that maybe that demon could repent, and I do think that when it got coughed out of a good person's mental representation, it was a fallen angel who could be set up with another fallen angel that had recently chosen repentance and joined a sky battle in the bronx.

So anyway the reason I think this demon is female is because I felt its thoughts overlapping with mine one night and it kind of had a laugh to it that reminds me of two other people now who I have talked to recently: Haley and Dr. Gokhan. So that could be part of a disguise.  I think it knows it might have a way out if it wants to be something good, but it has to be patient until some relief happens from whatever process is already planned by God. 

I mean wow, this is quite a follow up to that last post, isn't it. Well this is why I am a New York mental patient from HHC hospitals, and possibly New York Presbyterian, who has often been successful in making the worst bad feeling go away. 

That was what I was going to say, which is that I was emailing a note to myself about this and felt the bad feeling, as if it felt summoned, and it was awful.  And it was different than my story shield fear and in some ways, worse. But right then, my friend Cynthia called me, and the bad feeling went away.  So way to go, Cynthia, because not everyone is able to make it go away.  Mostly I feel that it is gone.  And then, when I checked my email after remembering another key person who might be helpful in some way, as well as another person who still needs a free book, I found a credit card offer that actually worked.

The word that comes to mind about that is hallelujah but I feel cheesy saying that. I mean I just don't say that but I don't want to not say it because is that one of those things you are not supposed to hide.

Well I do not know but I believe at least the bad feeling is gone for now.  So I do not need an online appointment, and I do not need to call the church people and seminary people, and tomorrow I can talk to my therapist without being sent to the hospital.

So I mean that is kind of crazy.  Whoever reads this blog post is going to be like what the ff-ing heck.

I just can't say how bad the bad feeling feels. But anyway I need to update all my backup file people and get all that stuff in perfect order.  But mostly I think it is okay. Like I sent what I sent and most of the good stuff is saved.  And possibly, on NYU levels, it is amazon kdp that has the real files.

Well, have a good day everyone. So scary that demons in hell might have read this email a thousand years later and sent bad people to mess up the school with problems in the 90s etc.  I am just joking!!