Hello everyone, I feel okay and drank coffee. I am happy about a lot of things in my life. Comedy and toastmasters, children's book groups, and Ravneet and fun times. 

I think that in this whole crazy mess of very distrubing things, definitely of note is Josiah carrying the water up the stairs for me. I mean in the middle of people being mean to me or just suspicious, and various problems and frustrations, you have a nice person who offers to help with something almost impossible for me.  So I think that is nice. And his name is Josiah.  And just the racism happening but he wasn't racist. So I think that is nice and possibly some of these events are meant for judgement day.

The pizza pal also is notable for his friendly laundry support. Honestly he is in the top one hundred for lists of prospects. I don't know if I should say that. I just mean I think he has really been a friend.

But don't anyone get the wrong idea. Last night I had an interesting dream where I was on a trip with people and TR and I kept going to this restaurant and joking about it in our old way. It was kind of cool and then I realized I had not paid attention to Ravneet enough and then there was a car accident and I pulled this other random guy out of a car but did not want to do CPR.

I mean maybe don't always just blab everything but that was interesting and brought back memories. My memory system tends to be negative and I ruminate and focus on my own old mistakes and stuff so it is good to feel positive. Toastmasters also made me recollect Catherine more clearly and I felt happy love and memories of her. Because wow we ended on a two year torture note when she had cancer and a divorce that just absolutely was chronically traumatizing. And I feel like I could not make her feel better and let her down, but she was in toastmasters and I could just remember our easier times where we coudl be happy and laugh and theologize. So wow. I mean I feel prayed for sometimes honestly and will try to do the same for everyone else.