I see now that some people did a stricter calculation and they include the more reasonable 300k and my sister’s deduction and they are saying overall my dad’s work and parents life savings as it was spent on an existence impact is about one cent per person. I am ok with seeing it that way but think that means I could literally spend 100k more dollars on anything and be in that range.  But I just feel like the 300k number is the issue. Because that is what I requested gradually and accepted because of my intent to deliver on being a literary giant. I think even with my survival situation I would not have flung around that money without expecting a literary legacy that is worth that. Well frankly the impact of that is still missing. But so is my career except for the creative work. So that is definitely in question but as I was saying about the facebook numbers if you separate the Christian mission from the literary medium then the Efirds were not fools. We did one cent per person together for a hundred million people. That is without the prayers for New York. That does sound kind of like bragging but I personally think that I already should answer for the financial burden I have caused. I mean there are a lot of factors for all of us. But there are certain ways of looking at it where it’s kind of okay for me to go buy a polo shirt at the mall and eat at Joy of Tokyo soon.

I just think instead of looking at the credit card stuff I will think about my cost of living and apply it to this work view and simplify it at one cent. Honestly you have to question if it is enough.