Hello everyone, today is Friday, Nov 14. I had a good day except for the Medicaid problem. I am distraught that my paperwork did not get there.  My case manager and housing director think it is them.  So it probably got there and wasn't processed and someone thought it was okay to just say it didn't get there.  My therapist thinks it will work out.  I asked them if I could redo it and they are mailing it to me and I am taking it to the office.  The worker on the phone was young and didn't care and didn't care to believe me either that I of course had done it when I said I had and that the person I talked to in the office should have told me that they had not received it.  The case also didn't show up in their app that I have, and the fact that they use the mail system is also a possible problem.  So that is three or four things that are all them.  I don't have much proof but could probably get video footage of me mailing it. I will tell them that when I go to the office.

I am cooking some rice right now because I have a can of gravy that I used on rice the other day.  It was yummy so I will have another similar meal.  And I made a grilled cheese sandwich, actually two. And I ate some blackberries.  And earlier I ate three eggs and cheerios.  So I am using groceries and this day alone catches me up on really a year of poor food management. It could have been worse and been more expensive but actually I did keep it cheap.

I had a good grocery trip today and will keep walking far to that store.  It is not that far and I need the exercise. So how many groceries did I use today: gravy, cheerios, cheese, mayonnaise, bread, eggs, butter, blackberries, gushers,  coffee, sugar, rice.  I thought about eating beans, too, but all in good time.  That is twelve groceries that I used up today.  That is really doing the best I can. I also ate pudding but I did not want to make the number be 13. I am going to just pour most of the gravy into all the rice and not use the rice for other things like cheesy rice or something.

I mean maybe I am wrong and I should do some cheesy rice and some gravy rice. 

I just have to write on this blog a lot because it is meaningful to me and sometimes I share it.  But facebook doesn't share links successfully because they want all the traffic to stay on their page.  But I got 300 views, which is what the secret lawyers advised.

Thanks everyone for the conspiracy. I am going to try to handle this insurance thing well and live my life without obsessively trusting and worshipping medicaid. If I lose it then I probably still have medicare. And I have a couple of months worth of medicine and could titrate down if there was an emergency. I think I have to see losing insurance as a let this cup pass from me thing and then take a share of suffering.

I am excited because a movie that I thought I missed last week is tonight, so hopefully I can watch it.

I miss Ravneet.  She has been talking to me a lot and it is very fun.

Well have a good day everyone.