Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Friday, Nov 14. My friend who is a doctor sent me a message saying she is worried about me. So I called her and told her about my new problem of the medicaid packet not getting there.  My case manager says she thinks the packet did probably get there and medicaid messed it up because of the shutdown problems.  I think she might be right.  Possibly it did get lost though, and I do not have proof of sending it.  That is my stupidity.  The only documentation I have is a missed day of PHP when I went to the medicaid office, and a fed ex office transaction for one of the documents that I mailed.  

Other than that I never heard from them and they should have told me when I went in person that they did not have the paperwork. This is one of the worst problems I have ever had.  It seems like I did not do what I was supposed to but I did.  Maybe they lose it on purpose to see if you lie and say a different budget when you fill it out again. But my paperwork could not have been more straightforward and honest. It is really horrible that it is not there.  I think it is really horrible if it is a different problem and they are pretending they didn't get it. I mean what do you do.

Anyway I paused the facebook ad.  I do not know if I reached enough facebook friends.  I am aware that I can't really reach people in the USA, even if they are my facebook friends and followers. So I need to accept that those blessings got taken away. Huge chunks of things I worked for are gone, and that is my life, and all kinds of bad things happen in the world.  So now I and others will be some of those people who did the best we could but things didn't go well.

I think that other post was interesting and I do not regret sharing it but I have spent enough on it and reached plenty of people.

I just don't think I will suddenly have an income and be able to sign up for Fidelis insurance as hoped for before.

I sent an email to my therapist. I might have said too much in the email. At one pm I might go to a Nami group. And then Hearing Voices at 3:30, or maybe the employment support group.  I was going to go to the grocery store but I don't know if I am strong enough.  What do you gice think.  Sunday I want to go to my church downtown. So that leaves today for the grocery store. I mean should that be what I do at 3 pm.  Maybe. It is kind of a far walk but reminds me of Nagle avenue days.

Does anyone have any thoughts? Any secret messages are appreciated.