hello everyone, it is thursday, nov 27. I feel good about my facebook posts. I am almost to 85 million views if my calculations are correct. I think that is about it for me. I will do some more posts probably but I might try to slow it down. I mean maybe I shouldn't if I am able to afford to keep posting because there are no signs of a dwindling audience. And I realized that the blobs are doing fine. I thought my numbers were lower but that was because I was boosting them at a lower rate. So that is interesting. I did save enough for another whole boost buy doing that. And you know what? I think it is not worth it. I think I should max out the budget every time and do 60 60 60 or even 80 80 80.

I feel good about my investments. I think what was questionable is the accumulations of stuff in the apartment that I later lost.  But it was not my fault but I think maybe there was some waste there.  And yet the clothes are the main thing I salvaged, so possibly some of that waste was counteracted. I wish I took more photos of the apartment when it looked good but I have a few photos.

Do I need to do any phone a friends? I need to send Austen the link to the outdoors thing. I will get to it. I promised a lot of people to send that link and then didn't.  Well I am sorry about that, I will try to do better.

I saw a good poem that had a theme like one of my poems and it triggers me a little.  Partially it confirms that my poems are a good resource, but it is a reminder of some injustice against me that is a real thing some people do not see. I just don't understand, I really don't. I don't see why some people thought this would be a better way, but I understand it a little bit because I did see it also myself, a long time ago.  Possibly I should be glad that other people saw the path as well and did the bold things against me to make it happen. I mean people tortured me, and if that really is a conspiracy then the courage is the same as me going to the snowy vermont campus with joy and success. However it is hard to believe that there is an outcome worth losing the real career for.  Did we not need me exactly, I feel like we did. And I can even believe that there was mass ruin just not without me but because of my absence. i really could.  And yet wouldn't I have been just another Bernie supporter? I mean I do not know.

I do not really need to discuss that again, but it is on my mind because of the book I read part of today and because of that poem and my status as I watch the macy's parade. I hope I have a humor column in heaven. I believe I will and it will be good.

I can feel how this life is meant to be though, and I am safe within it. That is nice and I wonder if anyone isn't safely in the life God has for them. Like is there such thing as being outside of it, I do not know.

This post isn't very good. I indulged in some kind of grumbling and resentment.  But there is such thing as injustice and it did happen to me. 

I felt the holy spirit earlier and I do not know what it was from. Was it from reading the Mad Blog book, or was it from the parade I was watching? I do not know. I do not think it is from the facebook posts but there might be some for that too. I do not know. It was just like a low burn that happens sometime and is a good thing. If it happens now because of the books, that is a good sign.

This blog post is too long but this is just a journal now.

Gice I think that some people chose this other option because they think my work is more worth something and not less. like they think my work is better than I realize. And I don't think it is. I think I had an accurate view of how it should have been appreciated.  But I will say that there could be a service value of it that I might not realize the potential of it, and maybe that is what people are trying to set me up for. And in my soul I might really want people to understand the ugliness of suffering. So when they look at my life, I have said a bunch of wrong things like "life is meaningless." how I never wanted to say that but then did, and other things got slashed and marred, and that happens to people all the time during actual suffering. The way people think they are going to have some beautiful moment of sacrifice but it is a grueling daily agony with things not turning out right.  That reminds me that I have a poem idea. So I will do that now, I was going to write it yesterday and forgot.

Well, have a nice day everyone.