Hello everyone, it is getting late now and is soon time to take my medicine. Tomorrow I will go to church online because I have a meeting at 3 and then at 7.  So it is a busy day.

I figured out why Hannah abused me.  It is their same psychological punishment and rewards system when you haven't met program standards, which for me this week was because I did not turn in my signature sheet.  But that was because they did not have one for me so they gave me a blank one and I lost it because I did not have a pen to get it started. And that was the second week that they did not have one prepared for me.  It is interesting because when they first started that system I was burdened by it and said I could not do it and if I could keep up with a piece of paper like that then I would have a job somewhere and be a professsor.  So they said I didn't have to but then I did have to.  They abused me if I didn't.  So I did.  And I sit through their boring groups that are too long and collect the signature after they already made me sign a sheet that I have to socially be bothered to do by other clients who like to make it difficult as their racism power plays.  Which they should not have control over anyway.

So already I am doing their job for them, but interestingly, unlike a normal job, you aren't told what the problem is if something is undone, but you are provoked to have severe mental health symptoms and you have no idea why you got abused at your program.  Well I guess I called them on it pretty good by reporting them to the Justice Center.  

Anyway another interesting thing is that they are treating us like animals by doing it that way. To not tell us what the issue is but just get in my way on purpose and provoke me by getting in my space and being literally one centimeter from my face.  That is what people do when they want to start a physical fight.  And yet I am the problem.  But I would say you are the animal in that scenario and your organization has shamed you.