Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday, July 1. I found out today that one of my friends died. Abbey Metcalf Cooler who was one of my favorite facebook friends. I am not sure but she might not have been happy about my gay behavior. But she was probably the best christian from our high school. I am worried that God took her away because I said God damn about the amtrak people.

But we don't know. He has a lot of reasons for what he does.  I think Abbey's church will help her family. But that is a very sad loss for them. I mean I can't stand it, thinking about it.

So I guess we just be thankful for every day. But I said today I wanted to die and watch people go to hell.  And I said that because I felt pain from my lost writing career.  But it was a bad and intolerable loss.

Something weird was on a youtube page today where I said a comment and no one hit like and I don't know why. 

Tomorrow I am going to the grocery store. I think I might get up early and go to Stop and Shop.  And get things for a corn casserole, a potato casserole, and strawberry pretzel salad. I think I might start cooking normally instead of working around an OTC card so much. 

But I don't know.  I also think I am going to try to get back on one mg risperdal 600 trileptal.  I think this latuda is hurting my life. I do not know why people hurt me but it seemed mandatory.  But it might not be.

Well, have a good day everyone.