Hello everyone, today is Monday, July 28. I was patient about a few things today. One thing is that I am waiting a day to inquire about the weight loss program, because I might try to do a php. Another thing is that I got mad but stayed at my mental health program without leaving.  And this resulted in buying some candy at walgreens, as well as some detergent that I needed.  Another thing is that I did not apply for a credit card. I might apply for the US Bank credit card.  But I do not know for sure. 

I am trying to mentally prepare for stopping my facebook page if I have to for financial reasons.  I just think that wastes an opportunity to bless people in a way that I like being blessed which is through cute or funny memes.

I made some chili this afternoon and it is yummy enough. It is kind of runny and I did not have chili seasoning or even taco seasoning this time.  But I had garlic salt and it tastes fine to me. I might keep watching videos of people building cabins and eating meat and vegetables in the woods. I think that will make me appreciate the style of chili that I made.  I wanted to add chicken but that is where I did not have patience and I will cook the chicken soon and use polynesian sauce with it. I mean actually I could make a corn chowder, couldn't I.  Remember when Krsytn Skellenger made that corn chowder and I ate it like some kind of british orphan and then she gave me the rest of it to take home? Pretty funny.

I texted ravneet today with some complaints about the abuse I experienced for two years at the bridge. I mean it is a fact. I am trying to have some hope that things get better soon. I think my mom might have to have hip surgery and she is irrationally anxious and avoidant about it. I don't want to be her caregiver during the days of recovery. I did offer to travel there but I just don't want that role because of the nature of her abuse. I saw that my life would be like that but it is still hard to believe.

I think soon I will try to read some of the imaginary mice series and see if I am able to read sometimes. I was able to read poncheesy sometimes, and other times I could not read it.

Today I saw my orders for books and mistakenly thought that a few of my orders were from other people.  And it just changes everything if I had any orders at all.  But it is all zeroes. A lot of people have helped me in life, but there have been some terms that really cause some question of whether people did right.

Soon I am going to a nami group.  Will it be creative writing or the suicide group.  I do not really know.  I have therapy tomorrow.  I mean why go to the suicide group and tell everyone my most extreme feelings.