Hello everyone, this is Refried. I really need to take a break from the poems. I am just remembering my opinions and making them rhyme.  So I am going to try to stop now. I think that some people do know how to read rhymes and find the rhythm. I believe most of my poems are readable. But it skips around and changes. So people can think it doesn't do right.  But I think it mostly is okay.

I think I am going a little bit crazy in the cold weather. I mean this is a week on high notice.  And keeping an eye on the south as well.  But a lot of people just played in the snow. The streets were really empty today when I went to McDonalds. I do not know why.

But it was a good outing. I don't seem to be getting much feedback on the poems.  I guess I will read some of them at writing group Monday.

Tomorrow am I going to the Hugh? I think I might not because of the gate being blocked. But maybe I could take the long way around.  I just don't know.

Gice I feel tired because I woke up a little bit earlier today. So I think I only got 6 hours of sleep.  I don't feel good when I take my Latuda.  But I can get through it but it is possible that I start not being able to tolerate it.

I don't feel any gallbladder problems so I think I am okay on that for a while. I am drinking some coffee right now.  I think I might need to read the poems in the book and not as much on the blog.  And then revisit the blog. I believe some people from India will read the poems.

Do you guys think my opinions are out of date? Well that is okay, I did the best I could. It shows that I was not included.

I think I will watch some SNL and not just the music.  That classical orchestra music wears me out a little bit because it is different and I was listening to it during those earlier rhymes. I mean I barely even care about those rhymes anymore.  

I think that I should wait a couple of days before uploading a new edition of the rhymes book.  I think I should let amazon accept the other new rendition and then a few days later do the final.  That will be hard to be patient about but I feel like three approvals in a row is a lot.

Well, that is all. My eyes are tired. I don't mean with sight I just mean like a tired feeling.  I wanted to go downtown tomorrow. Maybe the conspiracy felt that I shouldn't.

 Gice I don't know where these poems are coming from. I jsut start thinking and realize I could make it rhyme.  And I feel kind of tired but mostly normal. So I guess just be happy and thankful. I hope everyone continues to keep power. I mean it is crazy times and there are lots of ways to help people.

I went to McDonalds today and then got some muffins from the coffee shop.  I think I will put three muffins in the freezer.  And eat one more today. And I got some milk that I still haven't put in the refrigerator. So I could eat some cereal.  And I ate a hamburger and am saving two things for tomorrow.

So I think I am all set for about three days.  Then it will be 33 degrees. I only phone a friended one person today but emailed a pal and that is two and then the other two maybe tomorrow if I want to.

I want to go to church tomorrow because they are giving hot chocolate there at 10 am. I want to go so bad but the snow is blocking the gate I use. So I might not be able to. It is okay but I am just a remote person now and yet on that book I had a lot of memberships and felt a little bit greedy like hyper connected.

But that is okay and I am happy with the next rendition of the book. I am waiting for my edits to be approved and then I am sending it in yet again with the five new poems. I just could not stop but possibly I need to plan for a third rhymes book.  

Like maybe force a new document and say that rhymes book is full. It definitely is at about a hundred poems.  So that is great. I wanted to do a book of rhymes and told God that. So maybe this is that.  But wow it hasn't really happened in this same way before.

Honestly I wonder if someone prayed for me. I know my friend Marissa prayed for me because I told her I was terrified of the storm.  And possibly the Mensa bible study people prayed.  I mean I do not know.

So anyway I will try to stop talking about it incessantly.  Do you gice like my poems.  I think they are pretty crazy. I came across like a right winger but maybe left winger too.  What if I called the leftists left wingers and right wingers rightists.  Kind of funny except for all the problems. 

Anyway, that is all for now. Thanks for reading along. I posted that post to India, too and I think a lot of them will like the poems.

 Ok everyone. Now is when the legal sharks want to know who is reading this blog.  And they are going to say that I had help.  But I did have help.  Of course I did.

So anyway, the next issue is to email the backup files to the backup file people. And I was all set but wanted to add my sister. But am I wrong. I just don't know.

So that is interesting. I am glad to end on that nice poem. It turned out just right. I don't feel the same way about the swamp poems.  But I think they are good enough and possibly it is a subject for multiple poems. But I would agree with people who say really there should be one zinger.

I am glad I added the groups I left off. Now people might be expecting names but I am not adding names. I think I included people just right. As usual, earlier renditions have their merits, and there is a case for not keeping adding on.  But I think these new poems are good and I needed to get the early pages right.

I got rid of that re-use of heist.  Really that idea though may need to be redone. Am I wrong? Should I have kept that old rendition?

Hmm, I do not know. I actually am not sure I still have a copy of it but I think it is on the blog.

Now it is 3 am. Time to take medicine. Are people mad at me?

Ok that is all for now. Have a good day everyone. I think I will watch that video.

I mean I can stay up until 4 am if I want to. So that is the next goal is take medicine.

The medicine will make me feel bad for a while.

But at least I am not manic.

I am not taking medicine yet. 

I just feel content to stay up a while.

The book is finished. I think I should not change anything in it.

I think I should stay up, revisit the book to read it, and see if it seems like a good order.

 Well everyone, that was kind of weird, wasn't it. I added those other poems. It was something on my mind and I was reminded of it because I saw some kind of varmit creature but it was like in a swamp and wasn't the other kind of vision.  So I do not know what to think but I prayed for the swamp creatures because maybe redemption is possible since I saw that thing up close. It seemed female and like an amphibian.

So anyway, I think this is right and done now. I think if I think of anything else I won't add it. I guess it is time for medicine and going to sleep. I still kind of feel awake.  I might stay up another hour.  

Gice something that came to mind was shadowlands. That is a real thing.  That is what it is.  And people are going through that all around us at different times.  But I think some people really get in a low cave of doom and have to crawl through infested spaces. So that is what I was getting at.  I said spirit lands twice and it was supposed to be spirit worlds but I needed to rhyme lands. 

Man I just thought of another idea. The idea of being beneath something not above it.

I think I will write that poem too.  In just a little while. 

Do you gice think this is weird. I mean is it the storm or did possibly some ability get integrated with my ideas and this is the new norm and I better churn out some good stuff and go through those worldly monk posts and make every idea rhyme.

Well I do not know. I think this is okay. But the next idea is like 

Ok I just wrote it.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Friday, Jan 30. I just published a collection of rhymes. Weirdly, it is only my second real poetry book in five years. But I am happy with it. I kept acknowledgements minimal and think I got it right. I do not plan to change anything on it. It reminded me of the junkyard of the angels book for a certain reason.  But I didn't think about those acknowledgements and I am glad I didn't. I thanked my parents in that book and in this book I mentioned two mentors like that.  But I only listed one writers group but then put membership in other groups on that other page.  But what was totally forgotten was all SCBWI affiliations. I do not know why.  I need to think about it some. I am not sure I will fix it. 

Anyway I do not know if people are like wowzers, this is supernatural, but definitely I felt some feelings from that last facebook share. Last night I could not take it anymore and I stopped that ad a little bit early.  But most of the feelings were normal. I just kept thinking of rhymes.  Some people might think I should have waited and thought of more. But I think that is most of what I had percolating.

I slept a lot and am glad I caught up.  I slept about twelve hours.  I had an interesting dream. Maybe I will say the dream in one of these posts. Ok I will say it. I was asking Jacqui Lewis if she likes Matthew Henry's commentary and I told her the part I liked where the disabled guy at the pool of bethsaida says to Jesus, "I have no one to help put me in the water," and Matthew Henry emphasized how he said "I have no one," and how that was a need expressed to Jesus and a need that Jesus helped with.  And we were at some kind of camp and outside there was this stony pit obstacle course like a playground for adults but it was in a park and there were kids and the kids went into this cave and all these animals jumped on them and it was scary but the animals were sweet and cute and then a guy like matt damon was constructing some bridges for the site and we found out that he had done most of it and it was like his hobby to build that stuff and it was neat. It was all these hills and ladders to climb on but there were issues and you couldn't really get where you were trying to go.  

So then I bought ice cream for these little black kids who I felt responsible for and we were on the other side of the park and we were near a subway and I was trying to figure out if they knew how to get to their homes.  But I had a twenty dollar bill and the ice cream only cost about two dollars each.

And interestingly I thought I had a twenty dollar bill this afternoon and was going to tip the pizza driver but I already had spent it because it was two tens.  So I just gave him a joke book.  I think we will see him in heaven.

Anyway that is a cool dream, isn't it.  So I was trying to think about that aspect being part of disability. I always hear that pool story being told as a motivational speech like "Get up and walk," like do the thing you can't do, which interestingly is the opposite of what happened. Like it is cruel to just tell people to do the thing they can't do. But some of that is my reflection on young life and like okay.  I just didn't end up being a speaker for them and I think that was a fumble and was it mine? Possibly.  But I am a writer for young people so possibly that calling worked well and people did good. I think that is it but why didn't I get to give talks but it is fine.

Anyway sorry to throw in a movie star name when there a conspiracy like this but that person did good and was like one of the cool PFR people.  So that is neat.  I think Jacqui did good too and was being an authority.

Well, that is all for now. I will reread the book and think about it.  Remember how I changed that junkyard thing and added someone and feel like it was a good add even though it took away some feeling of typographical peace.  

like it wasn't the same but often i am glad I thanked that person in that category with english teachers.

so anyway SCBWI. Weirdly that is a membership and the other things I listed aren't necessarily and that one might nto even be true.  And yet I did wonder that recently.  I mean I don't know. I just was thinking how those rhymes were from those times. But I have already thanked a lot of people and these were leftover rhymes, so I feel like the people in question were in fact claire and johnny.  and it is johnny's birthday today. Like literally today.

So anyway thanks. They piled the snow so we can't get out of that gate.  So tomorrow I might walk to McDonalds and that hospital store.

Ok everyone have a good night.

Stay safe out there. I should call my mom soon. Maybe I will call her tomorrow. I think she doesn't want to be taken care of like an old person but she does need care and I hope she can live in reality.

 Hello everyone. Today is Jan 29. I just talked to Dr. Talreja. It was nice to talk to him.  He is my psychiatrist. He let me have a phone call appointment instead of in person.  I asked if we could reduce the Latuda again and he said no.  But it is okay. I really thought I was going to go back to one mg risperdal soon but I guess this is my medicine for now.  It is okay.  I feel mostly good, just a little lazy and lower attention span.  But I am able to write a lot and take a walk each day so that is in some ways good enough for me as compared to how it could be.  It could be much worse and is for a lot of people.

I do not know if he knows I missed a dose to be awake for the appointment but I did decide to do that and will take it later. But I have inspection. I wanted to go downtown and visit with some SCBWI people but I can't because I have to be here with a clean apartment.

I think that in about an hour I will walk to the post office.  But I do not know. I guess it depends on whether I can get some packages ready to send. 

I kind of feel bad for not taking the medicine but I kind of feel good because I posted two more rhymes and two memes.  Honestly it was kind of right leaning but that happened because of how I was treated.

Gice I am really lazy. It is because of the latuda.  But I can go to the post office soon. It is okay.

Well have a good day everyone.

Hello everyone, I just made some new ai images.  This one is a leftover. I might revisit it sometime or maybe do some descriptions from my mice books. I think these mice are cute. The eyes are a little bit bulging and they are maybe too focused on the same thing but it is still a really cute image. 

I posted a different one on my art page and definitely I have 6 or 7 images that I can send around sometime if I am able to. My life is kind of easy but it should be a little bit easy because I am disabled.

It is weird when that happens. Definitely I didn't feel that way until this third torture.  I need to describe it on my facebook page.