Hello everyone. This is Refried. I am in a zoom meeting and it is very grounding. Earlier I attended a meeting about autism. It was excellent. I gave a donation. I might do a church donation sometime but I have to make sure the time is right and I have the cash.

Right now I am listening to a guy named Larry Leech talk about fiction flaws.  It is excellent.  I mean the stuff he is talking about now is what I need to figure out.  What setting details are necessary.  Because I think I short people on that a little bit and it might weaken my books. But also it is too late now.

I mean have I already been identified? I just question if I was so good that my novels could be propelled sight unseen.  But maybe people did think that. Or think they could be ignored because my stories were good.

Gice I think my writing career is mostly over in terms of actual work. That is kind of exciting, isn't it? And yet I still am thinking of jokes and poems sometimes. So maybe there will be a story or two. Or I could try to fix Poncheesy.

Hmm, maybe that will be a project soon.  Like take away the last part of the novel and start again on page 50. I mean it was good stuff and then I uploaded my journal. And I think one of my friends who read it didn't like it.

Anyway I had a good day. It was a challenge but I did the right thing.  My budget is back to normal for boosting posts. I want to do higher boosts and get a cool mil for some videos. But I might need to keep it in the 606060 range. I mean I do not know. Mainly I think I need to plan for a higher budget and acquire that funding somehow ahead of time.

I really had more expenses this winter but it was legitimate stuff, like that social work license stuff that did eat up the whole deposit. Hopefully that will work out and my license is renewed okay.

Gice I think it might be valuable info for autism researchers that I am disabled at fiction but able when the characters are mice. I mean that is a fact. Maybe people can read the books later and see that.

I don't know how to find sponsors for my book business.  But maybe there are sponsors.

Well everyone, I hope you all have a great day.

That was crazy that I saw a vision, wasn't it? A bronze or iron Alligator that might or might not be alive.

Possibly the main idolatry problem.  And yet my mom is acting when she tortures me. She is part of the conspiracy. But anyway I got most of the book work done for those boxes in the other room. All that is left are two keeper boxes, one trash box, and one mystery crate. I think I will make it a keeper. I mean I could look through it right now.

Gice ups and downs live and learn. I hope my train ride goes well. Maybe it is not that big of a deal. Gice some people are really suffering right now but a lot of people were okay when I wasn't.  I was a canary in the coal mine for some stuff and I believe the other people will get through it just as I did.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone. It is 4:24 on Thursday. Tomorrow I go home from my trip. I had a good trip and did not spent too much on restaurant food. But I spent some on two joy of Tokyo, one konichiwa, and some coffees plus tips. But I also did not order a lot of books to mail. So there were some savings here and there.

My budget is not going to be a lot for video boosts but possibly it is better to feel that again like the art posts. I just will have limitations and it will be okay.

I got some good messages from Ravneet a while ago. 

I think I need to finish up with the boxes in the other room. I think I unpacked about 7 boxes and sold three bags of books. 

I am thankful that my health was ok in this trip. I mostly took my medicine every day. I got good sleep last night and will try to get good sleep tonight.

I just had some leftover peanut butter pie. 

Gice tomorrow I might mail half my clothes to myself so as not to carry another bag. I also might stay in a hotel one night in New York so I can take the train to the Bronx in the day time. I need to check the cost of it right now.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried.  I think I am going to the mall soon. I am waiting for my phone to charge. I need to go through one more box of stuff but I think I have done enough work in that room mostly. I could work on it later too. I am going to the autism group today instead of the nami group at 6. 

My Venmo balance did not seem right but I think it is okay. I think it is just taking a while for the payment to post. Sometimes it gets adjusted really quickly but this time I was like hey did they reduce my credit limit but I think it is okay and just taking a second.

I think everyone supports not overdoing it with facebook. Yeah I think that is good.

I will do some more videos soon, maybe on the train. 

Well, time to get going.

 Hello everyone. It is now April 2, no longer April Fool's Day. It is 1 am. I will take my medicine in about an hour. I have stuff on my mind as I crack the code. I mean these are my wheelings and dealings and I am thankful to be alive. My girlfriend reflected "tired," earlier, and that is what I was going to say. Like I am glad I am still around to do my usual decisions and live and learns, but it is true that it wears on me in various ways on various days.  But mostly I am doing okay. I think the train trip will be okay but what if it is not? I am somewhat expendable.  And certain things are mostly done.

I mean just to pause and reflect, aside from plans and ideas, it is good that I am at this place with the video boosts.  Because really it is optional.  I mean in a way I don't want to miss the opportunity, but in another way I just want to remark on how nice God is to give me a new hobby that is easier than religion. I mean I don't want to say that the wrong way. But these videos are just for fun. It does matter and I think it will help there be positive content and a gift from me and my conspiracy to nice people across the world. I mean it is nice and there could really be some classics in the mix.  But it is ai, and many other people are doing stuff that is almost similar. And already I have entered enough prompts that I could be copied and then you know what, did it really have to come from me? Not necessarily.

But what I am saying is this is how it is when I see visions, too, like it is not beyond my strength.  And I just feel like this is a sign of that yoke that is not heavy.  I mean this is the most I have ever felt that. Except actually the mild love feeling when I did share those religious posts was also a sign of that.

But I am sure that it will be challenging some times. And I might still have to do some brave ads soon. It's not that brave.  But sometimes it is not that easy.

Anyway I think it is okay for me to stay up until about 3 am. Then take my medicine. I have food back here and I will be able to take it. I can also go into the kitchen if I need to. I mean I could make coffee.

Hmm I do not know if I will do that. 

Gice I think that was nice of Brain and Jonanner to come visit me today. And Jocelyn is my friend too.

Gice Ravneet didn't have a luxury trip to Greenville.  I think she had to work. 

Well, that is all for now. Does anyone have any thoughts. 

 ok everyone hello, I am home after two social outings. I am thankful and it was yummy. I did the best I could and mostly am doing better than I was doing last year when I saw some of the same friends.  One of my friends is a famous physical therapist on YouTube.  So that is really neat. They have done about a thousand videos!!  I can't believe that. I told her I thought she might run out of stuff but she said there was plenty of material. So that is neat.  I told my mom the truth that it was my friend from college who was the Bellevue hero and it of course shook her up all day. I knew she might not be able to handle it but I felt that mostly she would be blessed to know I was still friends with those people.

I don't know if I should have told her but it will be some psychological food for her that will probably last months.  I mean that incident was a big event in her life. And she likes Brian because of how he was such a great friend and missed his flight to stay in New York etc.  I actually did not know that until she told me about it today.

So anyway I kind of had some ups and downs today and I don't know if I socialized okay. I kind of jibber jabbered a lot at lunch but I think it was okay. I told Brian there might be a mess with my last will and testament and the book rights. And I told him about the three executors who don't know they are written down for that.  

So anyway that is interesting.  I gave my mom the chocolate cheesecake and I am taking a piece of peanut butter pie from coffee underground.  I am letting the cheesecake set back up in the fridge.

My trip is almost over and I am getting a little bit anxious.  I really have mental illness everyone, let's not forget that. I mean it is not easy sometimes to just get through a normal day.  But mostly I am okay and I have been taking my medicine.  It is important that I take it tonight and tomorrow night.  Ok today is Wednesday. I have a class with MC later. It will be good. I think this break from the Nami groups is good.

I talked to Emma Chesed on the phone about the Nami walk.  I will do the best I can.  She was nice and I hope she feels hopeful too.  It is not that easy doing fundraising during hard times. I told her I might do some emails but I don't know how that will go. 

I think I might get another credit card for the videos. I think I should also ask mom to sponsor the videos but not right now because she just helped me with that.  And really that needs to be enough and you know what, I should accept limitations.  And another thing is that I am getting a following for these videos so I might not need to always boost everything.  But I think some boosting will help that and then I can just go with the following. But I know that when I do a lower boost sometimes I think I should have sprung for the higher numbers.

So anyway live and learn, ups and downs, hits and misses. Gice how did I do, did I do okay?

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. My mom is slamming doors right now because I threw away a Starbucks cup with a little bit left in it. It is because they gave me a grande because I asked for more milk.  I will need to explain that to my mom. I have to explain things about most things that I do but she has been better for this trip so I am not going to just list every little thing which is the whole point I am trying to say. I mean every single little thing is questioned or defended.

I need to throw away some more trash from what I cleaned yesterday.  I am going to the mall to see a friend that she would want to know about but I don't know if I can tell her because she would freak out. It is my friend from when I went missing at Bellevue.

Ok some of this draft got erased.

I told my mom about my friend and she was reminded of old times but I felt that she should know and be happy that I am still friends with that person.  

My mom deserved for me to be mentally ill and have a life that devastated her.  People say wow that is such a horrible thing to say but my family made choices in how they treated me and God did not put up with it.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried.  I am going to go eat with two friends soon.  I think it will be fun.  Then I am going to have coffee downtown with another friend.  I did not fold my clothes from the dryer yesterday so some of my clothes are wrinkled . But it is okay. I have a shirt that is not wrinkled.

The computer took a chunk out of my funds but today I got my SSDI payment and that helps a lot. I mean honestly I am close to normal and can only do one or two more main video boosts.  But really that is a lot.  Two more boosts of three or four videos each is actually a lot.  I mean okay I can actually do about three.

So that is great. But I need to pay for my comedy class also.  It helps me see myself as a comedian.  I told my sister some of the jokes I had planned and she thought some were funny but some should be skipped.  I mean pretty crazy.  I had a good time with my sister but I can tell she still feels hurt about years past but it wasn't my fault and she made a lot of choices herself.  But I think she will get through it and I think my life isn't so amazing that it will cause her to suffer. I mean there are some cool things but there is some low status and suffering also.

There was only a little bit of coffee still in the coffee maker so I do not know what that means except maybe drink another one at the mall or something.

Gice my numbers on the charts hit 100 mil finally but I had deleted about 3 mil and then there is also organic reach to consider.  And I think I am at about 11 mil for that. I just think that has to be the estimate. And then about 10 mil for likes and comments.  So I mean that is getting to be 120 or 130 for total things.  But really I like to have that extra cushion so when I get to a milestone I can consider it done earlier. 

I mean I am sorry but these numbers mean a lot to me and are a good way of measuring some kind of reach that I was really going for. I mean think about what else I have going for me and there are other cool things in my life but I don't have a paycheck for work anywhere and am kind of bullied sometimes.  So why shouldn't facebook go well. And it is the thing that most matches my prayers.

Spellcheck just tried to say ostensibly.  That is kind of comical. I think it is a message from Ravneet who might be pretending to be one of the other dames.

Well I mean I am just keeping that the way I said it. Gice when will there be another thin book, I do not know.  I could work on it on the train, maybe, and get through the trip more easily.  It will be fine. 

Well, time to get ready to leave. Have a good day.