Hello everyone, it is 9 pm on Friday, March 27. My niece just came and visited my mom and me. She was very happy and talkative. I am glad for her and she is doing well. She is working as a hostess in a restaurant and finishing high school soon hopefully. I think she will get through life okay and I am glad God has helped my sister’s family so much. 

My mom started fussing at me right as my niece got there and I yelled at her. I don’t think I have ever yelled before but I actually think it was right and maybe I should have before. I mean she just fussed and fussed and sometimes overtly hates me. But I have felt hate before too but it was a year or so ago that it really became overt. Like just direct hate. It might have had something to do with the year that the housing staff tortured me. I don’t see any value in the social workers doing that to me. Like was it a re enactment of something? I don’t know what the purpose was. 

But anyway I am such a depressed, defeated person. But I am okay in some ways and thankful for my survival. I have survived this disorder for about thirty years and did well in a few school programs. But I feel like the final results are not very triumphant. I am only left with prayer power and a good social media reach.

I mean maybe things will change soon.