Gice it is kind of weird about Jamaica, isn't it.  I think that they got through the actual storm well and now they need a lot of aid and relief.  And if people botch this and can't help them then that is a racist tragedy.

But what I am saying is that for some reason this hospital program was a key thing in my life. I am glad it went well. But I felt how it was destined to go well and I would not be able to quit and not attend.  And I did not get sick or have trauma that prevented it. I could feel that one day, how it was on the table for me to miss some of it and yet I simply didn't and would not fail because it was God's plan.

Aside from the PFR reminders and possible internal repair, I think there might be something deeper to think about which is Islam and the Muslims' relationship with God.  Like in my life there was something that happened with how I related to God, and how I didn't feel the close friendliness in the same way as high school. Something interfered with my perception of him in a very chronic way. But he was still helping me and I prayed a lot. I just think there is something similar to the deception challenges of Islam that my own experience with mental illness teaches me about. Like the actual relational condition of it.  Being friends with God but there is a layer of misperception in between actual God and your prayers. 

People might say not to say that but you do not know what my depression did to me and the nature of my faith and what was missing.  And to be judged for it. And I think part of the hope of it is that God defeats Satan within the actual assault and strategies against us.  The way it backfires is very close to our souls. And there could be not even just millions but a billion saved souls within that abrahamic faith.

Okay that is all. No one thought I would go in that direction with my reflections about how weird it is that a hurricane like that hit Jamaica at this time, but I think part of that could be a revelation of what Jamaicans are willing to do for people.  It is a Christian country and what just happened was glorious.  Their endurance and faith. It is underestimated like Haiti.  Now they need emergency care and people better deliver or their disgrace could be unprecedented.

Well have a good day everyone.