It actually is a shame.

 Hello everyone, today is Monday, June 30. Tomorrow there is a Mensa conference and I am realizing that I should be there. It is in Chicago and the topic is AI. I mean how could I miss that, it is really bad that I did.  But there are a lot of factors.  The challenge of asking my mom for money, my sister's business problems so that she also needs my mom's money now, the fact that I don't have a friend to go with because I am not allowed to see Ravneet in person, the fact that I was swindled from my writing career so I am not famous enough to be invited as a guest, the fact that my 50 million ai art views are mostly from India and that doesn't count in some people's eyes, the fact that my games participation in mensa new york was inhibited by medicine problems, the fact that there are not easy accessible in person mensa meetings at libraries with snacks, some failure and persecution from my mental health care, my own shyness and lack of planning, and a lack of priorities from whatever conspiracy is still functioning. I do think part of the fail is from mensa and part is from me, part is from my society, and part is from my community.  It is weird to suddenly realize it but maybe in the future I can help things be better for people. The word is shame, it is just a shame.