Hello everyone, it is Saturday, April 12. I am not watching a video of a song I like about church: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcQv2uwTFuE

Before that I was watching a video from Kevin Lee Jacobs who is a youtuber that I like. 

I did not wake up until 1 oclock today. I had a weird dream but it was kind of supernatural and I rode a bike up a dark boardwalk during a sermon and then flew above a cartoon scene.  I think it has to do with my sister's towel business that I am going to help with.

Gice this video is a bit much. But I like the song but I think I am going to have to turn it off.

Ok I turned it off but it is an awesome song. Amy Grant was probably the rock star of all time.

I am getting through a constructive dismissal from a church resource that I liked. Hopefully I will be okay.

It seems like my choice but I am not sure it was.  And I questioned some recent decisions to avoid communication but I think I was being consistent and actually I should be relieved that I was able to act fast on some stuff. And my person named Ravneet helped me keep an attendance option open.

I just think some of this social segregation is especially abusive to autistic people who have to read social cues of rejection already. And I don't know if people really don't see it for what it is, but I do. I see this Alabama culture in New York City. And it is really a shame.

So anyway I probably won't go on an on about it and make it be the only thing I ever talk about, but it will definitely take me a while to get over a loss like a church participation that I thought was for forever.

But the supernatural prophecies dried up last year, and the pattern of wasting my gifts is consistent with church in all my adulthood.