Hello everyone. The conspiracy is saying this is New Years Day. I do have other stuff to say but I am sure I will say it some other time.

Today I successfully went to the grocery store that I am not able to go to as much as what is optimal. I just can’t sometimes but I did today and wow I got some yummy food. Some thin steaks to cook with honey and Worchester sauce, some Pillsbury items including easy sugar cookies, two, not just one but two containers of egg nog.  Some cereal and yogurt, and a little container of onion dip to use with the remaining chips from last meal.

I also decided to drink one coke despite having stopped soft drinks for three months.  I think I need to restart my diet more aggressively and use this treadmill that I have.  I absolutely know I will not waste it, so no one needs to judge me or assure me they won’t judge me.  I am doing well to just do some basic living skills. Two store trips today, passing inspection yesterday, taking showers, doing laundry, wearing a clean shark costume for Halloween.

I feel better mentally now and I think I can pray for people’s holidays to be okay. I think what I will do is imagine all the things on my mind like clouds of thought and perception and then pray general prayers for that and then choose other populations whose thought clouds God sees and then apply those same prayers by request.

That misses some abuse victims and grief people but maybe I will still get to them or other people can.

The conspiracy is definitely a true blessing that at this point can’t be refuted or even taken for granted, though I do make that mistake a little bit sometimes. 

I talked to ravneet tonight and it was fun.  Ravneet likes quality time like that better than just constant pestering.  During the week I send about 40 messages saying Do you like me. She is very patient with that but she works so she can’t just reassure me incessantly.

Well have a good day everyone, I might need to blog a lot to cope with neurosis. Also I am still being severely tortured by family problems. But live and learn ups and downs pros and cons hits and misses highs and lows right and wrong.