Hello everyone, it is 12:32 on Saturday, July 20. I just wrote a blog post but did not post it for confidentiality reasons. I probably will post it later anyway.  Right now I am going to read some recipes and make some food goals to start over and cook more. I gave up on cooking but I am going to do the best I can.

I also am wondering if I should take cooking classes and art classes in these next few years.  I think that might be worthwhile for me and something I could do that would be better than just giving up and exaggerating my dementia and decline.  Without some kind of goal then I would just be a full-time mental patient. I think other people would also get tired of that.

That is a new mindset because I had started thinking that maybe I indulged too much in education without anything to show for it.

I think part of that view is from overlooking the value of writing.  Maybe I have low sales, but vocationally I am a writer, and that is not nothing.  Some people really struggle to write.  After I went to college and majored in Journalism as an advertising major, my dad said I was essentially an unskilled worker.  But I was not unskilled and had done the most responsible thing possible with my particular talent and skills.  My college major not only was marketable but was literally part of marketing. So what was the blocker. There was something social, something cultural, and I saw it and predicted my rejection.  Things have gone well, I worked in a bookstore and was inspired to write with a different purpose and audience.  

So maybe I will still have some education left and my disability is not so severe that I can’t be a blessing to others in those contexts. Probably I will continue counteracting my religious obsessions.  I started seeing myself as a Christian writer, when maybe I have a place in the secular world with evangelical effectiveness precisely because of successfully using worldly distraction as a strategy against my mentally ill scrupulosity.  It is a good and meaningful path that I should not abandon.

Ok, that is all for now.  This blog turned into a journal. Will I be able to retrieve it from that casual introspection. I do not know. 

Should I eat these taquitos that have been sitting out for two days? I think I will.

Well have a great day everyone, see y’all later if I go to the store.