Hello everyone, I went to sleep for a while. I missed the job talk group which is one of my favorite groups but I am happy for myself for getting sleep. It also meant missing a meal which I could eat now, a piece of stouffers french bread pizza, but I don't know.  Maybe I should miss the meal.  Earlier today I ate a brownie and caramel macchiato.

I am breathing better and realize that the weird feeling that sent me to the hospital was anxiety plus asthma plus a normal health dip.  I just didn't recognize it.

I liked the hospital people.  They might have rewarded me for exercising but I don't know.  I like that nurse named Laura.  She is a nice person and the PA and really all of them. It was very clean and not too crowded there.  They did not make me wear something I did not want to wear or anything close to that.

The hospital there always has trouble finding my vein for blood tests which drives me crazy but it was okay. I gave a book to the cool person named Natalie. 

Right now there is a high pitched noise in my apartment and I don't know what is causing it. Is it my refrigerator or something outside? I had a dream that we all got evacuated and now I wonder if it was real and they announced it on the intercom which no one can hear. 

I kind of think the noise is my refrigerator. It is not. It is in the hall from the elevator or something. It is not that loud. I think maybe I should make a grilled cheese sandwich.

Karla was really nice to me yesterday. I think it is a reward for walking.  She said inspection looked good.  I mean it kind of drives me crazy for them to use inspection to reward other stuff and not praise me any time I do inspection right.  Because to me that is the issue is that I can't do that at all and then do.

But I think mostly I am like you know what, this was God's plan, and for whatever reason, the things that drive me crazy about this housing were meant to be part of my life.

Today I told my therapist my delusions. I mean actually I have no idea what is true.  Because it seems like this is some kind of delusion puncture week and I should have congratulated my therapist on making it this far, like what, twelve years until finally all my delusions are proven wrong.  The literary status, the conspiracy, the health martyrdom, I mean all of it.  And yet that could be just a game is they taught me how to treat psychosis but all of my suspicions are real.  I mean I do not know.

But I think Ravneet is my person.  And I think when the hospital said that they think I am okay, I think they meant that they think I am a legitimate literary participant.  And I should be humble and have good behavior for their sake too.

I mean I do not know.  But it is cool living near them.  But I miss the stop and shop.