hello everyone. I have not taken my medicine yet. I am going to take it at about 9 or 10. I might not do the application for that thing yet. I do not want to be too early. 

I mean I might be wrong like it might be too expensive and hard to get to. I could still decide not to.

Maybe I need to think about it some more.  But it seemed like it could be good to participate. But let's see, who would I know. I would have a workshop leader, I would try to talk to J. Hirshfield, and I would know Nickole a little bit.  And I could probably make friends.

I mean honestly I think this matches a plan from the last ten years or so where I go to one conference a year.  And I am not sure I have even missed a year except for the hospital torture.

I think if I have any trouble at the shuttle I will call Dilarom.  I think we already busted them.  It is something every time. That cop who was mean to me, the shuttle person who tried to not let me get on the shuttle, Daphne and her little diabetes scam, the intake person who tricked me on purpose, I mean maybe that was it for this time.  I think if it is something every time then I need to do a lawsuit. Because they have a problem they are not addressing but could.

I think I am still far from becoming an overt problem myself, though.  Probably someone will try to prove me wrong.  I mean that is the point though, is that people tried to bring that out in me for thirty years and the results were mostly forgiveness and patience and friendship with the nicer people.

But anyway I did not want to be thinking about that. I was going to pray and got distracted and then worried that maybe it was God who did not feel like talking to me.  But I am sure that is okay.

Then I ate a little more food.  No sherbet shake but maybe in a little while.

Am I going to apply for that thing. I mean maybe look at the application.

Do I need to do a needs statement for a scholarship.  I kind of think go ahead and support fully. 

I mean if you think about it that was always the feeling with this poetry stuff and school and I wonder if there is a reason like in heaven we see just how comforting those communities were, and how effective and meaningful, and people will want to have done full support. I mean I do not know, I just try to interpret the meaning of certain things that happen.

But anyway I figured out that I am safe within my life and this was meant to be, where I live, what I do, all my problems and foibles.  Which reminds me I still need listen to that elf thing.

Gice I am going to be having more intrusive thoughts that make me feel guilty and make me worry about people feeling unloved.  But it is my illness and it is good that I have less medicine and feel better. I am able to walk and cook again so let's be happy. I am okay being mentally ill on this level.

I thought about posting a post about the conspiracy and had it ready in my mind but decided to be forgiving and patient for now.  You know what I really miss is that article about escalation. I wish I could easily refer to it but I guess it is just in a book.

Do you guys like my videos? I think the videos are cute and I am thankful for my hobby and I think that it lines up to one year per thing.  Jokes, book videos, art memes, and now videos.