Hello everyone, this is Refried. I think facebook is running my ad now, slowly but surely. Maybe they were giving me a chance to get the poem right.  I think I can only help them through prayer and a lot of people probably share their complaints with them.  But it is Christmas and they are working so that is something kind of crazy to think about. Maybe they are mad but I think I will thank them around New Years. I will send them another message sometime.

It's just that this post meant a lot and was a surprise from God himself and then they messed it up on purpose. And that is a little snap from hell on a nice day.  And the thing is that this isn't that nice of a day for me. It is a survival day where I get through it, but there was something that improved my mood this year.  Yesterday, the review synopsis, and today, the poem.

But I am okay, a lot of people have to work on Christmas. Everyone has their sufferings and relief. I hope a lot of people are having a nice Christmas. I posted little gifs and messages for a lot of people, maybe 80 total, and that is more than I usually see. I don't feel as connected but I am still thankful for everyone I know. I mean who knows, by now maybe a lot of people don't like me. I mean maybe that means something that I see their photos now but they don't like my posts very often.  But some people do. 

So anyway, maybe I will have a good few days as this ad runs.  The other ads made me feel better before Christmas. I mean that is what I do is write, and I am 48. So ups and downs live and learn.

I might not call many more people. I might not rely so much on the phone a friend program but just call random people every now and then.

Well, that was an adventure in mental health. I do not know what is next. Will I do peer work? I do not know. I need to talk to Drena about it. I just don't know how I feel about starting over and being in another unpaid internship scenario when I have the education I need for work. It starts to become a charade with me as the dummy.  Which is what I have said before. But there is a case for letting them do it and make their choice in front of everyone. Hmm. I do not know what I will do. But I feel the tables turning a little bit where the shame is no longer mine, but the other people who bullied me. And they are caught.