Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Saturday, May 17 at 9:10 pm. I had a good day today. I felt better in the afternoon and resolved in my mind some of my stressors.  One thing is that I started believing that if they torture me in New York, I could move to Greenville for my last three or four years under certain conditions. This gives me some freedom and power that I did not have.  But I still feel that the deal I have in nyc is good if people don't abuse me, and right now I have a good case manager.  So I will plan to stay for my agreed upon year and a half more, and maybe until the end if they let me have two more years.

I am glad to see it so clearly.  I talked to a friend and she undid some of my reasoning but mostly just challenged what I concluded and still feel certain about.  I can see the path ahead of me, like drop off a copy of library book and tell the nice apartment lady that I might be in touch later on but not immediately.

So that is good. I just think things changed for my mom when my dad died and she is also recovering emotionally from some of the problems in the last ten years. So she has good memories and love instead of rejection and pain that she takes out on me and then grieves the fact that she is killing her own daughter.

Anyway that was a tangent.  Also today I did some art for my page and posted about 7 new images.  It is good stuff, right in line with my goals.  Right now I have some weaker posts sharing but I still feel good about it.  I am getting trolled sometimes, though, and I don't appreciate it.  If it gets too targeted I might threaten legal action to the person as a slander and defamation case. 

But mostly my memes are doing fine.  I think I don't have the same numbers for some countries as my jokes page, so maybe I will think about it and do more culture congruent jokes instead of the religious memes. i mean if the doors are closed then they are closed and I can work with that for now.

There are too many ads on my youtube video feed and it is slight stress to vigilantly skip them so nothing yucky gets through. And my slow internet is an issue but I think it will be back to normal tomorrow.

That is when I will start doing some designs for my sister's towel idea.  I think they will be called "Wow towels". 

I feel some uneasiness right now but will probably be okay as I take my medicine soon and go to sleep.

I told my friend why I felt better and I think it was like bragging and I didn't mean to do that so she might have redisturbed me on purpose. But I think it is okay.

Tomorrow I will attend one of my churches online. I guess there might be a saddleback service posted right now so maybe I will check that out. 

I am praying some but not enough. My state of mind is fluctuating and my attention span is short. 

I read through notions and emotions and it is great but I can't read it all.

I think some people can read it though and will like it.

This summer I will try to lose weight and earn some rewards from health people.

Well that is a fun game but I am feeling motivated and it just takes time after the medicine assault.