So sad and disappointed

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Sunday, April 6. I was supposed to go to an epilepsy conference today and I was looking forward to it.  Working on the blob books distracted me some but mostly I got the sleep I needed.  This morning I woke up, dragging some because of my medicine, but when I got to the train and actually rode the train halfway to the event, it turned out that service was blocked and they were using shuttle busses. Well that doesn't cut the mustard for me.  So I emailed MTA with my second report of missed events.

I am really sad and kind of grumbling about medicine, too, because this is my life now, is missing appearances. I simply can no longer participate.  And I tried to get involved with Mensa and it is a similar story.  I worked hard in life to not be a hermit.  I faced severe social anxiety and made three thousand friends.  And now facebook is taking away my friends and the mental health people are taking away my in-person participation.

There is still hope that I can be on 40 mg Latuda instead of 60 mg but I think they are all going to be in agreement that I should be overmedicated.  And the housing people, who I still haven't publicly called the matching slur, quickly torture me if I adjust the dose myself, which was the secret to my 15 years of historic success.  

I have to at least be thankful that doctors let me have ten years on my old medicine that I had worked out with other doctors.  It went well and I wrote a lot of books and woke up at 7 or 8 every morning.

Now I am one of those noon people, who can't socialize and participate in life.  And there are additional barriers as other parts of society crumble.  Eventually people will call out MTA for their broken contract, their costly discrimination, and their lies and cheating.  And then service will be restored.  They will say, "We don't have money." Well you know where you get money? From people going to their jobs on reliable trains.