Hello everyone, today is Thursday, April 17, and it is 11:30 pm. I just made deviled eggs and it was an absolute success.  Very yummy though I will now have asthma for a while because eggs are allergic to me.

Before that I did laundry because I think I am being sent to the hospital tomorrow.  I am going there myself.  It is peaceful so far but there was a medicine mistake that I think was on purpose.

However we don't know. It could have been a real mistake but I think my therapist is in on it. I think everyone thinks I need to go to the hospital because I have been attacked by Satan recently.  And at certain levels you treat it as psychosis even if it is real. I mostly agree and the hospital has done well before with that so I can give them a chance.  Overmedicating the trileptal is not okay though, which is the current medicine mistake.  So hopefully it will be okay. Will I be glad to stay out of the hospital if they fix it? Hmm I don't know.  At this point I am now expecting to stay there a while.

Maybe this is when I see Ravneet. I just feel bad because I did not lose weight but I am on track for it in the future and I think the conspiracy thought I should get to eat whatever I want during my singleness.

But sorry Ravneet if that is a plan. Also Ravneet don't feel scared or shy if you have to come visit me in the hospital. But I am kind of scared of that but they know that.  Maybe it will be a text or email.

It is also possible that I will find out that Ravneet is a delusion.  I think I can get through it if that is true. However I question some chains of events and interventions if this is the best people could do.

Anyway I think we will treat it as a manic episode, evidenced by the excessive writing on this blog, the unsubscribing from seminary emails, the publication of ten books in one month, the hallucinations of demons, and the evil power that was real and bothered me for a whole week. I can be patient with that, though I really believe my medicine should be decreased and not increased.  This might not be a good experience. I guess let's see what happens tomorrow.

Now it is 11:42. When will I take my medicine. Maybe at 1 a.m.

I think I did well and took it every day for over a month without fail.  That should be good enough.

What if Dr. Kotin says ok only 600.  It is not her choice.  The neurology prescription is for 600. If they do 1200 that is not fair because I have not had any seizures or mood spells.

Have a good night everyone.