Conspicuously absent legal aid, suspiciously complicit cops, maliciously abusive mental health staff

hello everyone, today is monday, august 26. I did another comedy show yesterday and it went well. It could be a fun hobby for me and I might start doing some open mics. I was in a class and my next class is hopefully in October.  I am starting to be able to write comedy routines more spontaneously. 

Sadly, the apartment staff at my supported housing location is abusing me again, provoking me on purpose as an offensive harrassment meant to make some kind of political point. I feel sorry for them but also am just trying to survive and am being compliant and cooperative as they abuse me past any lines I have ever expected from myself in prior times of life.  At the hospital program where I am receiving outpatient treatment, I agreed to try a new medicine but am now requesting to go back to what I was on.  I just need more trustworthy environments to make a change like that. I still have two more days on that medicine before I have an appointment which will hopefully reset things.  They said they are not forcing me to take it, but if I don't, the apartment will send me to the hospital.  So it is essentially forced medication.  

This is severe abuse and a sign of a crooked society. Where was the breakdown. It is actually very traceable to specific oppression, and the mental health field is the most accountable for this particular devastation.  They have ruined my life. For the problem to involve three or four different agencies and for it all in slow motion to have ruined both my physical health, mental health, and outward circumstances is a failure that dips into the pits of hell. 

That is all I will say. I am now censored and think it is also wiser to not say what I think will happen when this fringe persecution reaches the wider population.

 

hi everyone here are two of my favorite facebook and twitter dog friends that we lost this year. it is sad, thanks for the memories, pet owners, these dogs have probably joined the animal teams in heaven for rewards comittees and comfort squads. I am writing this on the saturday before my fourth comedy class show. I feel okay but it is not easy and my apartment staff is preparing to send me to the hospital soon in a violating way where my medicine is being changed in a different way than I agreed to. 

have a good day everyone thanks for the prayers

 

 Hello everyone, here is another blog post even though I already posted something, or I mean wrote something. I am about to go downtown for comedy class. My girlfriend is going to be there for the India parade.  I love India because they were nice to me on facebook.  It is frankly a very nice country full of nice people. And some of them now live in the United States.  In fact I am nominating them for the best country award from Jesus Christ for 2024. It is the only nomination that I know of, so that could be an automatic win. Congrats India. Now which trophy store can produce one billion medals.

Ravneet are you reading this.  She said she isn’t reading this. She is asleep. So okay. Twenty minutes until I leave to go downtown. I thought of another joke for my comedy routine which is this: if a pet dies too soon, does that mean it fell off the rainbow bridge?

The problem is that you don’t say sad things in comedy.  So I have to start my routine with some other stuff.  Every time I think of a joke I have déjà vu and worry that I have heard it before but I haven’t.  My stuff is all original.  But that is a bothersome disorder.  It is because memory, truth, and certainty happen in the brain similarly and when you get attacked by ocd, it wears out that part of the brain.  My brain got burnt by that stuff in 2012.  Why why why. I do not know but I might switch psych meds soon.  I will simply reduce the Risperdal and add Latuda. I think I will do that soon. It is too bad the staff at my housing is mean to me because that creates more risk to it.  That is all I will say. 

Well have a nice day everyone.

 hello everyone

today is friday aug 16.  A lot of college students are moving into their dorms. It is good to pray for all those people and ask for stuff for their whole lives.  God really does a lot of nice stuff for people. It is weird though because you can see how he works in your life but when there are still over a million awkward moments and mistakes it is like ok what exactly is he doing.  I think he has been preparing material for my gameshow on judgement day. It is going to have complex rewards for almost anything and I dont know if we will access earth video footage or just have the stats somehow or confer with people's imginary animals that monitor them.  My mouse parents have been working on sone stuff this week that probably has to do with that.  They got my mouse lawyer named Pudge mcGoober to visit them several weeks ago.  

Some of it might have had to do with my name change.  I still have a few things left to do with that. My mom is stubbornly refusing to use the new name and she used my old name in my dad's obituary. I mean who knows why people do stuff when there is a conspiracy. I think my mom turned out to be a really good actress and she might win an oscar in heaven.

So today I have to walk far because I think I used up my metro card.  But maybe I could try but it seems like the bus fare is 2.90 now instead of 1.75. But I should look it up online because maybe I still have a ride left.  I am leaving in 20 minutes.  I get there at ten oclock.

Well have a nice day everyone. 

another post from yesterday

 Countdown until inspection

Inspection is in 20 minutes. I washed the dishes, wiped off the counter and stove, picked up a bag of trash, took the trash out, cleaned off a space in the refrigerator, made the bed, put up the clean clothes, put the clothes from the bathroom floor in the cart, covered up the books, closed the drawers, and I think that is all. That is not bad.  What is not done, the floor is not mopped, but the shower is cleaner than usual and I also worked on the fruit fly problem all week with excellent results.

Now I am sitting here. I just watched a very excellent sermon. I should put it on my blog or something.  That sermon and Steven Zeier’s sermon about the bible.

Which sermon from Pastor Filipe should I post? I do not know, he had some good sermons, I will have to find one.  And then that will be all, I think they have had enough time to figure out how to admit that some people really are gay.  I think it is the evangelicals who need to come through on this. They have more freedom and acceptance already and their sin against the people they rejected is greater because of how accepting they were for everyone else.  

Ok here is the pastor andy sermon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5JQIng4T-U

Now it is Friday at 8:30 am. I am about to go to my hospital program. I am worried that they are going to transfer my housing soon and have already proven themselves to be abusers. So I might go to a worse place or no place at all because of the migrant influx.  I believe in helping the migrants so maybe there is something good in that but at the same time there could have been other options for me early on like working or dying in a ditch instead of being tortured by mental health workers.

bianca s is the person of the day

 Hello everyone, today is Thursday, August 15.  This is the same day I went to college 29 years ago. Wow that is a long time.  I am 47 years old.

Today I went to the hospital for outpatient mental health treatment.  I am in a 6 week program. I hope I get to keep attending after the 6 weeks is over. I think my other program will be happy for me to be somewhere else. Or maybe I can do both.  

I kind of feel like addressing the conspiracy in this post and maybe I will start doing that with all my blog posts.  What do you gice think about that.  Is that a smaller or larger audience than I usually address.  Because I usually address “readers,” and in what way does that overlap with the conspiracy?

Hmm I don’t know.  I had a good conversation about medicine with my doctor today.  We discussed maybe overlapping Latuda with Risperdal.  Like what if I did one mg Risperdal and used Latuda for the rest of the psychosis.  I told the doctor I didn’t think I could let go of the feel good component of Risperdal.  I mean what if I even did a half mg of Risperdal and a small percentage of Latuda.

Well it is a risk my friends because I could have a manic episode.  Man I just can’t go back to that phase of illness.  I will do serious damage to my life and end up in jail.

Am I going to work ever again? I do not know. Maybe the books will sell. Or what if one book sells? What if we can make horizon cow a bestseller.  Maybe we can. 

It is 5:30 pm right now. At 8 pm I have inspection.  I washed a chili pot that had the remnants of old chili in it.  I think I really did the right thing on that one instead of hiding it in my fridge.

I might make this a long blog post because I haven’t blogged in a while.

As some of you know, I went to a writers conference last week.  I think it went well.  I question missing so many presentations but I just felt comfortable and happy in my room and had to save strength for the workshop and meal parts of the time. I think I also kept myself from being inescapable which is something I try to do wherever I participate in things.  I wonder if I am too dedicated to that and instead should champion disability.  But if the theme is rights, then let’s care about everyone’s rights.  You never know when it’s going to be you.  It could be because of disability, it could be identity, it could be because of some random weird scenario, or an enemy, or a competitive tough goal, I mean who knows.  But everyone should get what’s due whenever possible.  And sometimes that thing that’s due might be relief from people like me. 

So okay. I still have some minor things I need to clean for inspection tonight. “Where can I find a deal like that?” some people are saying. Well it is a good deal except the staff has really mistreated me in these last two years and I lost one of my best friends over it because I called him in a suicidal panic this winter. I knew it was too much for him but I had to make arrangements for my absence.  

So let’s discuss the pizza I ordered. I ordered a pizza. It is cheese.  It cost about 12 dollars. Then ten dollars for the tip and 6 for delivery. Scams and shams but in the end it is a good pizza and a delivery driver had a nice moment. Side note I don’t tithe like that.

What else to discuss. Maybe mail some books soon.  People don’t just want horizon cow, they want library book, but I might roll through some horizon cows. People will feel hurt.  What about horizon cow and floopydoos?  Then might as well do library book.

So okay. I wonder if taking Latuda will make me be able to make eye contact and work again.  Hmm I don’t know.

My friend in Pakistan invited me to come talk to his church.  Maybe I will visit India and Pakistan in two years.  I just really think that my expenses for that would be better spent on food for people and something for anyone there besides me.  However successful church work has eternal value that is priceless.

Am I going to do more facebook stuff soon? Maybe but I am considering saving the money. Like I really brought it this summer with some videos, memes, and spending.  And now I am out of that money. I simply am back to my small budget.

Well, that is all for now. Have a good day everyone.