hi from Greenville

Hello everyone, I am in Greenville visiting my family for thanksgiving. Five more days until T Day. Last night I had temporal lobe seizures and cool dreams.  It was nice and I am thankful. I think it was a gift from God and helped me feel loved. Then I went back to sleep and had another dream where I was doing some kind of social work and had to actually hold these snakes so people could introduce themselves.  And I did well but there were some snafus and interuptions.  So that is weird. I can't remember it very well.

Now I am awake and I want to go to a restaurant called Joy of Tokyo and get some yummy take-out food. But the yard people are here cutting the grass.  They are using a huge mower. I hope they do okay. Mom has had issues with the yard services and fired four companies.

 

I feel sad on facebook a little bit because I am not seeing enough friends' posts.  There are too many ads and other content. They could change the world again if they let people see even ten percent more of their friends' posts.

 

I won't go on and on about big tech, but spellcheck is changing my messages in texts too much as well. One of my texts to my sister said thanks mom and I am like why did I say that, do I have dementia?  But it was specllcheck.  And in that text I was correcting what was said in an earlier text because of spellcheck. They will take everything if we let them and our government needs to keep up.

 

So okay, I ordered copies of my new book. I discovered a kind review on my amazon page and it was a great surprise. The bullying when I share a video now is giving me hope that I will sell some books.  Because people can't bully me and cancel me if they want an audience for their harrassment.

 

Well have a great day everyone. Thanks a lot for helping me survive.

new years resolution

i guess my new years resolution is to participate more in subject/verb agreement.

really sorry to mess that up too much, but maybe other people can feel smart about it.

gice can you tell i am procrastinating something.

probably laundry but really i just don't know what i am supposed to be doing.

ok just remembered, a zoom call, okay bye everyone

When it's a potato's birthday

hello everyone, i don't really have a blog post to share, and really this could go in my email for the conspiracy.  I am leaving to go visit family for the holidays and I didn't make a to do list for today. I think I should do laundry and clean my apartment some. I think I am skipping my mental health program. Later I will go to my support group online.

they should get the army to kill that illegal immigrant who attacked the nursing student.  

That is my opinion.  But other innocent immigrants should be given easy instant citizenship to protect them, because they deserve protection like the nursing student. This has been a problem for thirty years now, has any real work been done, maybe. In a way there could be wisdom in taking our time to let intents show themself. 

I am not happy with what I see happening and one weird thing that bothers me is these health guys, how horrible.  RFK saying he is going to change the recipe for Coca Cola.  I mean maybe that is the least of our worries but maybe it is the worst, to have violation and control at that level.

Lawyers saying evidence was "circumstantial." Yes, the circumstance of the defendant committing a horrible crime.  So many bad people. 

Do you guys like my new books.  It does hurt my feelings that the sales have to be secret or nonexistent. But like I have said before, we know my main role is prayer and lets get the help from God.  There are a lot of people in various networks to pray for. I mean online, companies, social, international.

There has been a heavy dose of religion in our country that probably will reach people somewhere and continue the ongoing reality of Jesus's name being promoted forever.  400 years from now people will still know that Christianity is true and any delusional pretense that it's a waste of time will be seen for the denial that it was and is. The same mistakes get repeated.  But good deeds and faithfulness to "not let your right hand know what your left hand is doing" also have a way of being discovered. And a lot of liberals got judged unfairly and not only that, were very patient with it.

Well, that is all, this blog is ruined but still worth typing on occasionally. See y'all on my trip maybe, it is not easy everyone and I know other people will be having a hard time this season.

 

The grocery store people are still the most important

Hello everyone, I hope you are having a nice Saturday.  I had a nice Saturday and attended a writing workshop this morning. It was so nice and made me feel so much better. I did not feel good the night before because of some tedious computer work and then visiting the twitter site only to be devastated and depressed about the political problems.  As of this moment I feel more hopeful.  What I found most disturbing was the RFK appointment but I am going to try to stay hopeful and think that maybe it is good to have someone who at least cares about helping with the autism epidemic.  However I think what needs to happen are housing provisions that the other side probably would have done out of habit.  And yet they really didn't in their time either.  They tore up stuff in their own way as well. I find the twitter takeover to be disturbing and I think Elon Musk is a problem person.  So anyway I might stay in the middle and just tell the truth as usual about things that don't seem right. I don't think I am liberal enough to make the hop to blue sky.

But anyway I did not mean to get on that tangent.  The point is that I am having a nice night and made some pancakes.  I went to a grocery store earlier and got the treat in the photo. It was yummy but I do miss the similar product from the Fine Fare in Inwood, my old neighborhood.

I texted with my girlfriend and had a nice time. Thanks Ravneet you make me laugh a lot and feel better.

Should I try to recover this blog into a humor blog.  I think it is way past too late for that. I have some messes happening in my life and writing but am okay.  Social workers help me stay alive.

On Thursday I am taking a trip to Greenville SC to visit my mom and sister's family. I hope it is a good trip. I got worried that it wouldn't be but I think I will be okay.

My art plans have stalled because of my computer but I have a computer in SC that I can use instead and I just need a new charger for it. So I will try to do that at the mall when I am there.

One idea I have for helping our society recover is for people from my generation (X) to get part time jobs working among the young people and help them as social support. I do not know if I can practice what I preach on that because my part time job is my small business. But it is an idea that could help and working at Wendy's isn't what it used to be. We need to stand up to both the public and the corporations.

Well, that is all everyone, make some pancakes if you can, read and write and draw a frog or mouse.

Thanks for the vittles this week, Naja and Michael!

I also met an awesome writer named Antonia Contreras, follow on instagram and Quora!

 

hello everyone how are you doing today

 hello everyone, 

this is my journal. i am typing this directly to the blog.

I had a good day today. I went to the post office and received a copy of my new book called "Say it to my face that Robert Frost is a better poet." I like it. It turned out great. I also got my transcript to upload to the application for something. 

I went downtown and finished that work and then went to the train station to change my return trip in December from SC.

The guy was kind of tough on me and didn't have a copy of the ticket emailed.  But I do have a paper copy.

Then I went to chick-fil-a. It was busy there and I ate fast. Then I walked to Grand Central to take the train home.  It went well and I got a cookie that was so good last time.

I took it home with me and ate it a little while ago. I ate it kind of fast because I was trying to capture that same feeling of the last time I ate the other cookie.

Now I am at home and feel content. I think I will read through some of my books and plan a video for the thin books.

I started watching onion videos and some are very funny.

My gallbladder just hurt for a few seconds but I think it is okay.

That is part of what not to do is eat fast and the foods that are a no for gallbladders.

I think I will rest and pray for people. I think I can get us some good stuff everyone.

If you pray a lot you start thinking everything is from your prayers.  That's really not that healthy and good to believe.  

Well have a good night everyone.

The fence hole is closed now so I am going to be in my apartment a lot without going downtown.

hey everyone happy thanksgiving

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Friday, Nov 8. I just made some cinnamon rolls and it was yummy. In my home state of SC there is a flood and some escaped monkeys on the loose.  So that is weird.  I also visited an art school yesterday because I might start taking art classes. It was kind of inspiring but kind of intimidating. I think it will be hard to figure out what level I am on.  But I have already drawn some marker drawings in my life and have done a lot of digital images.  So it could be a matter of the right medium.

I met some nice people. I gave away some poetry books and ran out. I wish I had one more for that nice young person who got skipped.  But really most people got skipped. I just did the best I could.

Was it appropriate I don’t know, but the conspiracy told me to give away some books.

I wanted to go to the chicken finger restaurant but had to get back to my apartment for inspection. I thought about going back today for chicken fingers but my credit card companies are sharking me a little bit. I think I will have some money again tomorrow and feel better but this is not a good situation really.

Today I will try to go to some nami meetings. I feel some ideas for the prayer machines. I think the Pratt classes will help with the children’s book illusrations. Other people do better than me and that is okay. I do what I do, I am a writer, and I draw pictures and do the best I can.

For my next post let’s discuss the election. It is almost too bad to believe, isn’t it.  Like I almost don’t think it is true what happened and am waiting for the correction in the news.

Communication with the Outside World

 hello everyone do you think i am blogging too much, well i am having a hard time because I was sick today and my computer is no longer working for internet and writing.

i did watch some funny comedy and some movie scene youtube videos that were from a movie that I did like a lot. 

Will I take another comedy class in march? I do not know. I think maybe I should. I think I can think of more jokes.  Do people think I should be taking a class right now? Well I can't.

I am not giving up on the art certificate but it could be that I can only do one class if I need a new computer. That is okay with me and there is a chance I won't even be able to replace the computer. I think I should because of the 80 books I have on amazon. I think I should keep it possible to manage that well, or properly which is the word I am overusing tonight.

I do not know who reads this blog everyone, some people do read it, but to me it is still an imagined public and it truly is a blog that I like. I do not think I will replace it with substack.

Ok I erased some laments about the weirdness of the missing writing career.  I think that maybe the idea is that things went well and the books are pretty funny which was the goal and the stuff I was wrong about can be topics for other people to succeed at in discussions or papers. Ok I have to say that is a great idea.

Gice I think I really need to do some prep work for new years resolutions this year. So here we are, that was why people said this is New Years Day. Gosh, everyone, that is kind of mean, to tell me to shape up like that and implement a total overhaul immediately.

Ravneet, are you reading this? It was fun talking to you today, thanks for helping me. That was weird, wasn't it, how suddenly I wasn't okay. But I took my medicine and feel fine right now so hopefully tomorrow will be easier and I talk to my therapist at 10 am. Thanks Drena see you tomorrow I am sorry if I wrote too much and you read it, I did not mean to rely too much on emergency care. 

Ok everyone, have a good night, pour yourself some coffee because we still have two more hours of sitting around checking the election poll results. That is what I am doing, it is a sign of health.

I am taking my medicine properly

 hello everyone, i am writing to the outside world even though my internet is not working properly. is it the computer or is it some difference with this phone.  i do not really know.  maybe i can wait until after my trip to get a new computer and i can see how the computer in greenville does with this phone.

i seem to be okay and have been eating biscuits.  I ate food with my medicine last night and generally do every time I take it.  I think the doctor I talked to online today thought I did not take food properly with the latuda and that is why i was sick.  But I don't think that was it and I don't think this particular indigestion is what happens from not taking the medicine with enough food.  But he was so mean to me like they were going into psych hospital mode and ready to torture me.  That really hurts me and breaks my heart a little bit because I was sick and needed help and instead it is like I am in trouble when I did take my medicine correctly.  I think the issue is apricots. And possibly someone told me that.

Anyway I am okay and getting through it. It is kind of weird because I had other stuff on my mind and then suddenly my computer isn't working anymore and I am sick without explanation.  But I am glad it is not salmonella.  Really the doctors are smart and figure that out every time.

Psych meds are interesting because this was the story with risperdal throughout many years, where I would have an issue and it was the risperdal or missed doses.

I just think the mental health system is too punitive when we already have suffering and losses upon that suffering and then the mental health care is going to be medicine that makes you feel bad and torture when you really have a problem.

That is all I will say because I don't know what is on the near horizon as I either proceed with this latuda journey or go back to the risperdal.

 hello everyone it seems to be a microsoft word issue but is probably still a sign that I need a new computer. this was a nice computer, i liked it a lot.

i have indigestion from my medicine. I think it was from eating apricots or lime juice plus latuda.

It seemed at first to be something I ate.

I don't think I need to go to the hospital over it but I thought about it like for the medicine switch but I think we just go backwards from the change from before. 

And I will probably have to be on two mg of risperdal but maybe not drinking soda is the new reality.

What is happening is the computer is not staying online. I could think it has to do with the new phone but I think it is an overheating problem and microsoft word.  Psosibly even having to do with copy and paste memory.

The computer is warm now but not overheating.

I am glad I have a phone and maybe that will have to be enough for a while.

However I am trying to run a business.

The conspiracy sometimes confuses me like how it works because I can believe it is not happening and do I have book sales or not? I think that is a major factor in being okay with some things how they are.  Like today when I decided to help my mouse father write his memoir I felt so much better.  I felt normal like my life was the way it is supposed to be. It was relief from weird depression feelings. 

what do I do about visiting my mom. I am thinking 40 latuda one mg of risperdal for the whole trip.

then 20 latuda then 2 mg risperdal again.

of course I will wait and talk to dr. eder.  

These med changes waste some medicine.

well everyone i am interested in hearing opinions from the conspiracy.

I think for now I just get through the next day or so until I am not sick anymore and I just rely on my phone more and plan my trip. 

 ok everyone i think the computer overheated because of running microsoft word at the same time as internet and the computer has started to not work and not do stuff when it overheats. This time it was wifi, sometimes it is typing. 

It makes me feel better to blog even though the blog posts are just journal material.

well that is all everyone I jsut wanted to follow up on that disturbing announcement.

hello everyone

 Hello everyone,

my computer is overheating sometimes and the wifi is not working properly. 

This was a good computer. The problems started when I attended a youth ministry forum and the typing was slow.  It was a five hour event. 

What does this mean, is it a punishment.

I can't just take classes and get a new computer and try to do mental health treatment.

Now the computer is cooling off. It had to do with connecting to wifi.

There is no guarantee that the wifi hotspot system will work if I get a new computer.

I definitely think I cant short cut and do a tablet.

I am thinking use this until it absolutely doesn't work.

Possibly the issue is microsoft word running at the same time.

That is what zuckerberg thinks it is.

Ok thanks everyone

 Hello everyone. The conspiracy is saying this is New Years Day. I do have other stuff to say but I am sure I will say it some other time.

Today I successfully went to the grocery store that I am not able to go to as much as what is optimal. I just can’t sometimes but I did today and wow I got some yummy food. Some thin steaks to cook with honey and Worchester sauce, some Pillsbury items including easy sugar cookies, two, not just one but two containers of egg nog.  Some cereal and yogurt, and a little container of onion dip to use with the remaining chips from last meal.

I also decided to drink one coke despite having stopped soft drinks for three months.  I think I need to restart my diet more aggressively and use this treadmill that I have.  I absolutely know I will not waste it, so no one needs to judge me or assure me they won’t judge me.  I am doing well to just do some basic living skills. Two store trips today, passing inspection yesterday, taking showers, doing laundry, wearing a clean shark costume for Halloween.

I feel better mentally now and I think I can pray for people’s holidays to be okay. I think what I will do is imagine all the things on my mind like clouds of thought and perception and then pray general prayers for that and then choose other populations whose thought clouds God sees and then apply those same prayers by request.

That misses some abuse victims and grief people but maybe I will still get to them or other people can.

The conspiracy is definitely a true blessing that at this point can’t be refuted or even taken for granted, though I do make that mistake a little bit sometimes. 

I talked to ravneet tonight and it was fun.  Ravneet likes quality time like that better than just constant pestering.  During the week I send about 40 messages saying Do you like me. She is very patient with that but she works so she can’t just reassure me incessantly.

Well have a good day everyone, I might need to blog a lot to cope with neurosis. Also I am still being severely tortured by family problems. But live and learn ups and downs pros and cons hits and misses highs and lows right and wrong.

All Saints Day

 Hello everyone, 

It is Nov 1. All Saints Day. I am feeling like today could make a comeback as a holiday. I had some ups and downs on Halloween. Just some mood drops but a nice day with socializing at my mental health program and my online support group.

My internet is not reliable right now for some reason. I hope this does not become a frequent problem.

I have a youtube video on right now of snow falling.

The thing on my mind right now is the election and the panicking democrats.  I myself am planning to vote for Kamala but I just saw a cheesy quote where Walz said something about “the American experiment.” I won’t go into how lame I find that phrase to be, every time I hear it from intellectuals who think of themselves as being above having soldiers die for them. As election day approaches, every time I bolster my decision to vote blue, something interferes with it a little bit.  I do think I will get to the voting booth on Nov 5 and vote to save the Mexicans.

I am thinking about saying something to my democrat facebook friends because they know I have a trove of trump supporters on my list of people who still read my posts, and they want me to squawk at everyone and lose my lifelong friends from the south.  Why? Because it’s time to see a certain outcome in the news and I have some of the cash for it.  They want me to hand over my life to them.  Well I am not and I didn’t do that during the pandemic either as hundreds of people bullied me every day. What I might do is tell them a thing or two about why Trump is still around.  A lot of that is because of how they chose to treat people who voted differently in the past five elections. They treated us like garbage yet now they want something from us, which is for us to both buy them their place in history as the heroes, and for us to also continue acting out our roles as the nazis they defeated. 

Well I frankly am planning to lend my vote in that direction, but I don’t plan to complain that other citizens have a vote, especially if those people happen to be the friends who didn’t ditch me.