Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Monday, August 10. It is 3 pm. I just talked to my therapist. It was great.  thanks Drena.  Drena questions if the meme in question is funny enough or clever enough to spend my reputation on. like the risk vs benefit. I think I am still keeping the meme posted for now and will just think about whether to boost or not. I might do a 40 40 40 boost of those exact memes.

And it doesn't really matter. I think that is the main issue is that it isn't that big of a deal either way.

So okay. Next up is maybe take a walk.  Now will I go to that far grocery store or walk to Starbucks.

Drena does not reward missing a dose of medicine but I really did forget because of treating the finger spot. I mean maybe I should not have told her because I think I got punished for it. But she said what do you mean punished.

So okay. I told her I felt like I had already had the appointment. I mean was that bad to say. I do not know. I think she knows it was my symptoms that was causing problems. But I should not say that or they will make me take more medicine.

I told her I think I die in the Bronx but I hope I am about to move to Manhattan.

So now I have free time until 7 pm. Does anyone have any opinions?

Should I walk to Starbucks or the grocery store? I mean I do not know.

I can eat Honey Nut Cheerios for a while and do not need the smart start immediately.  It might be something to do tomorrow instead and today walk to Starbucks.

So now the only issue is the weather. I think it is about 85 degrees. That is fine for a walk.

Does anyone have any opinions? Please let me know in secret messages.

 Ok everyone, I am glad I posted the posts. I was like okay, I am just waiting for someone else's opinion.  And I feel what I did was right and that joke percolated for two years and I was patient.

So that is interesting. I mean the posts aren't even sharing that much.

I have a lot of posts that have not shared yet. But I think I am on track. And I might share a post on my bronx civil social page too.

like just share the purple post so people could find the poems and jokes page.

Anyway wow I wish these copyrights weren't so expensive. I told my mom the truth about the cost of it.

I mean it is possible that I can only do those three books.  Really it is okay. It is a good selection. I need to figure out the next three. But maybe be patient. Maybe do five. I mean who knows, maybe I will have some cash someday soon.

Wow ups and downs live and learn.

Gice the difference between this post and that lslam post is kind of interesting.  

Gice I think doing that God loves you post really worked out well. I think that was effective good outreach to usa.  It was accepted happily. I think that was a slight change.

What have I done for India lately? Not much since those other 500k posts. Those were good. The butterflies and inchworm.  So what is next.  A video? Maybe.  So I need to maybe generate a few more good videos. I think I ran out when maybe I would be happy to do a few more. So that is the next creative project. I mean should I do more images? Maybe. 

So now what, clean up some, trash, dishes, get laundry together for Wednesday. Pals, I think I made the right decision. I feel peaceful. I do the best I can. I can defend any doubts. I believe my perspective about that and think it had to be me.  

 Pals, the squirrel is yawning because it is not that big of a deal.  I know it is not that big of a deal but I do not do certain things lightly when other people have thrown their reputation in the mix at various levels.

So anyway this blog has gotten 38 thousand views in the past few months.  That is really good.  I mean why didn't that happen when I was writing more polished posts, I do not know, but I am happy to be journaling for people, too. I think that is where the word journalism came from.

I am listening to music right now. It would be good to take a walk. 

Would I go to the far grocery store and buy some smart start? I think that is what I would do. But when will I do that. It is 11 am right now. I slept okay and had a weird dream where I was a speaker at a church and then was going to get credit for it but didn't get that much credit and then they started handing out medals to everyone else for helping fight crime but I had done the same stuff.

I am having three books copyrighted. I need to fill out some forms. It is not that easy.  I am possibly not doing well and it could have been more cost efficient.  And yet I think maybe this worked out the way it did for a reason. I think I will try to do five more in the late fall, and then maybe ten on my own.  But I do not know. Let's see how this goes.

Ok. I drank a small cup of coffee but might benefit from some more. So I mean maybe walk to the store and stop for coffee. I do not know.  Maybe after my appointment.  I think my meeting is at 8 pm.  So from 3-7 I can take a walk. and yet I think there is a slight heat wave right now. Well hmm.

Gice one of my friends gave me a helpful facial expression.  I need to ponder what it means.

 Pals. This is Refried. Today is Monday. My mom was just nice to me on the phone. Thanks mom.  I took an iron pill earlier.  I think I am averaging every other day now.  But I am not sure it is working and yet it does work some and make the fatigue better.

So okay. The finger infection does look better and yet there are still traces of it and I think there will be traces of it after the full 7 days. But I do not know. I mean maybe it is okay.

I think I forgot my psych meds last night but that is okay. I feel fine. It could help the iron pill be absorbed better. 

Now, to everyone who rolls your eyes when I say lupus. I agree that I do not need another diagnosis. Another illness, another disease.  I already have enough stuff.  But at the same time, I do have the real symptoms that are sometimes serious and undeniable. I am thankful to have gotten another five years in with normal eating except a few foods I had to skip.  That is great and might be enough to hope for.

Gice my room is warm now, is the air conditioning working properly? I mean is it here we go again?

Anyway maybe it is okay.  I am going to try to clean the apartment some today.  Make bed, take out trash, mop floor, maybe tidy books, do dishes, wipe counter.  So the same inspection stuff. I will do that later.

I also have a toastmasters meeting later. It will be pretty fun. I am the grammarian again. I think there is something missing with this role process. I think I need to participate in table topics before being the MC.

So I will see how that goes. I will do the best I can. I think I need to go downstairs and ask them if the air conditioning is on. 

Yesterday I made a corn dip and it was great. Pals I think the air conditioning is not on. Wow I do not need that to start up again in the middle of august.

 Wow, those were good notes. I just added more medicine and I do think it is going in the right direction. In just a while I have my children's book critique group.

I have a section ready, I hope it goes well. 1100 words exactly.

Thanks Patrick and Dr. Zhao.

Thanks Dr. Parik.

It is probably not from my sink, it is from the skin picking and computer.  But also the low iron lupus skin tendencies. The low iron might have to do with Latuda digestion but I don't think it is only that.

So I just need to take my medicine. I have been taking the medicine but that can also add to the exact problem so every other day is best. I mean I have taken it sometimes and the bottle is going to run out some day and people can't say I did not try.

So anyway. Gice.  The new memes.  I need to wait one more day and ask Drena. Claire said don't do it but I think she used to do that other times when it was a definite thumbs up.

I just do kind of believe in this meme and think I have to be brave.  But while waiting to hear from an agent! I mean that I kind of crazy. And I could lose my Facebook account over it.  And yet it is kind of nailing it in a way. I think it could really benefit the discussion.

So anyway it is a maybe on that. Other than that, what is next, calling my mom about copyrights.

 Pals, good news.  Another Dr, Dr. Zhao, thinks it is not mrsa. She prescribed something else but I think I might be able to proceed with the original idea from Dr. Parik.  They think it is regular staph. The other one might also be like that.  The other one was mostly itchy at first, too.  But she just really thinks it is not mrsa. So I think maybe hope for the best.

She told me that it would be strange for doctors not to do right.  That was helpful to me. It both affirms it and does not assume anything.

So I think I will trust these people, I mean what else would I do. Like no oral antibiotics were prescribed, and these are the people I trust. So I think we are okay.

Ravneet, yoo hoo, are you out there somewhere? It seems to just be low iron skin.

Gice I told Dr. Yuan that I might have a skin problem from low iron.

Gice I think we need to stop the latuda. Do we know that the low iron isn't from that? I mean it is probably from the lupus but there are some other factors.

Anyway I might have iron transfusions in the future but Dr. Dalmeus said I could get an injection.

Well, have a good day, everyone. Thanks for being there for me.

I am not going to Walgreens that soon. I think they think the other place is excema.  Pretty funny.

And yet it is not funny because I don't understand how it is not mrsa.

Well, that is all everyone.

 ok pals, three new memes are dropping tomorrow, possibly tonight but I want to ask a mentor about her opinion on one. How is the skin spot, you ask? Better, not swollen, smaller red area, but still not back to normal and this was 2.5 days. So let's see, two more doses and it is three days, really 3.3.  And to me that should do it and the rest of the doses should be to just do right for the finish up.  And yet I question if there is something not working, which means I need to find that other tube.  Which I should do anyway. I saw it go under something. But I can't remember and I have checked everywhere. I checked under the treadmill, under the chair mostly, under the bed, on the table, most of the chair area, near the wall, but I have not done perfect.  So possibly I will do another search. I don't expect any kind of visit anywhere tomorrow, even online.  I kind of understand the idea of treating each random thing as it happens instead of going onto a lupus tangent.  But it would have helped if I had known that low iron can mess with the skin like this and it also matches lupus symptoms.  Because I did have a lupus attack from that spicy food.  And it was not a joke either.  It had near symptoms and people are like tra la la we don't believe you.  

Why would I malinger lupus. I am a schizophrenia person. I would exaggerate my actual disorganization and dementia if I wanted more attention.  Which I do want more attention.  But to me, lupus is not the best path to that at all.  

But anyway it is great that I have had five years since figuring it out.  And I have eaten almost normally.  But the medicine problems for psych meds were not a happy thing.  And why the abuse, I just don't understand.  Is it to prevent some kind of survivor guilt? I have said before I don't agree with that.

But anyway maybe that is it.  I just don't think it is.  I think there really are nazis at the hospitals.

But anyway, time to rest a while. I like the new memes. I could post them but I just think I should do the wise thing and ask someone's opinion first just to guess reactions out there.