Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am supposed to be at a Yankees game right now. I did want to go but I could not get on the crowded train.  If I had maybe tried the next car then that might have worked out. 

But there simply wasn't a place for me to stand without shoving people.  So I left. I felt free and I said I am sorry but I can't get on the train.

So that is sad and I already had a good time talking to Daniella on the other train.  I think they know I tried. I could have gotten to know the staff better. I might have sat next to Gloria.  I like all of them who were there. I hope they have a good time.  Daniella was meeting up with other programs also, so I think she has enough fun and challenge.

I could have had fun talking to Karla also. Possibly next to Karla was where I could have gotten on the train.  I just felt that I couldn't. I didn't see a place to stand. It wasn't packed like people actually pressing against each other but it might have been at the next stops.

I could have gotten a cotton candy with their voucher. And nachos and a drink. That would have been really great. I mean maybe if I had thought about the cotton candy then I could have gotten on the train.

My comedy coach says that maybe I can use this in a routine.

About not being able to get on the train to go to the yankees game.

Let's see if I can think of anything:  I was going to go to a yankees game but the train was too crowded. I would only get on a train that crowded if I was evacuating from a hurricane. And even then, I might stay home and turn on the TV for a yankees game.

Hmm that is pretty good.  A 60 dollar joke for sure.

Sorry Bridge. I might pay them back, honestly. I didn't think of that.  But I could do that for them.  Maybe order a pizza or two for the building sometime soon.

Daniella are you reading this? I am sorry I let you guys down but at least we had the train ride. It was really fun. Ravneet gave me a message and said I reminded her of Howard Roark.

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. I just hit some snafus while trying to pay for my facebook ads. Some payments were blocked but some weren't. And the worker who helped me was only interested in helping the payment go through and not solving the hacking security risks that could have been a problem.

But I think I am okay for now. I just reviewed my credit accounts this morning.  Now it is all maxed out and hopefully there will be no more charges until I get a deposit on the 31st.

So that is three days. I mean the accounts are tight but I think it is okay.  I think it was 60, 50, 100 on the right accounts.  So that is at the limit. I mean that could help me on judgement day. Like to be at the limit when there is an opportunity.

But my idea was to do a hundred for additional followers.  But my spend limit was decreased so I am worried that the reach numbers are also decreased.  But maybe it is okay. I mean I do not have 500 dollars a day to spend anyway. But the guy on the phone said it was good to get to 900.  But now I am not at 900 because three payments got blocked.  But facebook blocked them.  So I mean I do not know what to think, because there is also a conspiracy and program helping me survive, and they intervene sometimes.

And yet some of the interventions are opposite interventions so as to throw off the sharks.

And maybe that is a reminder to just be thankful for what I have.  Because I felt like one of my friends who showed support might have been targeting me instead to do a weird reverse plagiarism scandal of some kind.  But maybe people know what is original. 

But okay what is the real situation. The real situation is that I let myself get hacked so they cut my spend power in half.  But I don't hit spend power anyway, but someday it might matter to me.

And then what about that video.  It copies something I did and I forgave it but probably it was from a secret message from someone else who I kind of confessed to but wasn't that bad. And I meant well and was trying to give away another idea. So I mean the truth comes out.  But it is something to learn from theologically, that it might be because our hearts are gold from Jesus, that eventually the whole truth will come out from everyone with actual righteousness on the horizon. I mean the actual vs legal status question is real.  And if it turns out the legal status is because the actual is pending.  And the actual is pending because of Christ's magnetism. I mean that is a Catholic rendition of the protestant message.

So anyway.  I mean why am I back to that again. I thought we resolved that.  

But in terms of supernatural, what do I have going for me now? I have the mania when I boost the RB Tostada page, and the confirmation for trillions of blessings. I mean it makes me literally drop all competition with people for my personal goals.  It makes me be able to tolerate total career loss.  And usually I am not okay with what has been ruined.  But sometimes I think it is going to not be wasted.  So is my peace based on the fact that it won't be wasted, or the fact that other things matter more. I mean it could be both and be somewhat related to the Abraham and Isaac thing most of all. I mean if you try to find something in the bible about it.  Like what is it. I mean I do not know.  

 I had an interesting dream where I was trying to make a meme that advertised my books and said "Refried Bean, the dirty sock of American Literature." I didn't know exactly what to say for the first part of it. then I realized I was in the car with my dad, and he drove to a Mexican restaurant.  But he had dementia and was driving too fast. Then we parked in a far parking lot.  Then mom and Anne and Claire were there but Elise was not there I think because she was at college like in real life.  So then mom said she was 98 and dad was 96. Then my sister and Claire went to go to another table but mom wants her birthday money and said Claire had it.  Then I had gum in my teeth and could not get it out. I have that recurring issue in dreams sometimes.  Then w were driving home and passed all these worn down cool houses that would have been a good neighborhood in Greer but weren't.  And mom wanted to go get coffee somewhere but she had dementia and it would be an ordeal.  So it was basically a parents with dementia dream.

I mean that is sad and a lot of people have that helplessness problem.

So I wake up and in the dream I really wanted to get that meme done.  But now I wonder if it is that good. I mean maybe it is usable. I do not know. :in the dream, the circumstances were similar and I could see how people would question why I would count myself part of literature. so that is interesting.

I am sad about my sister's business. Hopefully something else will go well.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 6 pm. Soon I will go to a support group.

Should I see if there is a meeting for 540? Well I do not know.

Pals I forgot to say that this morning after facebook helped me with my account, I saw a rainbow in the sky.  And just two days ago I prayed for God to give people signs.  So that is interesting. I did not say signs and wonders but I have before.

Anyway my blob ad did well and got over a thousand link clicks.  That is very rare for me. I usually don't do well on link clicks.  So hopefully it translates to sales.  And if so, Ravneet might see 300 dollars in her account.

But I do not know. I should not entertain delusions too much.

I think I am still on the decline and my affairs are in order.  Today I talked to my sister about my company and nonprofit.  So I think she understands my vision for it and has leadership skills that I don't have.

I mean that would be a cool outcome for our years of suffering.

I feel back to normal now. Isn't that weird? I mean was the hacking part of the supernatural status? Well I do not know.  I mean does it all have to do with RB Tostada? Because I will probably do a post for forty dollars and increase the followers sometime soon.  Like after I get this next check and pay off cards.  But it is not a lot of money and I can't afford to do much.

It is weird that I feel normal again but I am glad to have a break.  I do not know what will happen if I boost that cross post.  It could be that I think of more memes.  It probably could have been rhymes but my writers group got messed up because of someone being mean to me.  And that is where the rhyme motivation came from. I need to call Z and see if he still wants to get lunch.

So anyway, that is all for now.  Thanks, everyone.

 Hello everyone. It is 4:02. I missed an online seminar that I wanted to go to. Now I am listening to music. I got a spam email that was disturbing but I ignored it.

I took my medicine this morning so that makes three days without missing it.

tomorrow I have a writers group meeting. Other than that, this week I should have gone to the Medicaid office.

So I guess that is what I will try to do Monday.

I am ok for now and have access to my email, phone, Facebook, music on the computer, and zoom.

And I have a lot of friends who are there for me.

Also my sister called. Her business partner caused a problem but there is hope but it is too bad but my sister might run my nonprofit for me. So that is kind of cool.

I texted her about it and then fell asleep and then woke up to spam and panicked. But I think things are ok.

It is sad in Nepal but there is a lot of rescue. I mean think of all the heroes out there. It is a lot of good people.

I do still pray for Doctors Without Borders a lot.

Well, that is all. I am glad people read this blog. I mean it could be bots. But I think it is readers.

I did not go to the Bronx place today. Probably that was partially because of waiting to take my medicine. But it is okay. You just can’t kick yourself about stuff like that.

Well have a good day, everyone.

 Hello everyone, sorry for that other post and yet I feel the judgement sometimes.

But anyway. Good news. My facebook account is secure.

Wow that was rough. The person I talked to today was so nice. Definitely I have seen a good side of facebook sometimes. They forgave me from being rude in my early years of feedback. I would send a message saying something was outrageous and immature.

So gosh, crazy times, being thankful for what I have, etc.

I need to take my medicine soon. It is only about 8 hours late. That is okay and people need to be patient while I do the best I can.

I still have a couple of password steps left and I need to maybe change my yahoo password because I am not sure I remember it though hmm while I am logged into that account on the other computer I could log off on this phone and make sure I remember it.

So okay I will do that.

Thanks everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried Bean. It is 11:03. At one pm I talk to my therapist. Last night at 3 am I got messages from facebook at the same time someone was at my door. And on the computerit seemed like the hackers, but I do not know. It might have really been facebook. I am hoping that facebook is really helping me. But that was disturbing.

This morning I had a dream that I was trying to get on a train at Amtrak and they would always refuse to tell me if it was the right train. It drove me crazy. But there was this blue racquet ball that I found and that was a good thing and I won a willy wonka sticker set.  

It really disturbed me when I felt like the hackers were bothering me. I do not know if it is them or not.

I think it is facebook but I do not know. I think the only other thing is to get friends to email them and get it sorted out. I have several friends who I think are willing to do that.

But I also think possibly I am not interacting with a completely fake interface. It is likely that if I can get real posts, then I can send a message to actual help and support.

So I could make a list of reasons why I think it is them.  The main thing is that they told me not to start over because I had good progress on the account like good numbers etc. And that would be reset if I started over. I just think that is not from hackers.  The other thing is that I am still logged in and can run ads. Wouldn't they have tried to log me off? Another thing is two factor authentication and I think it worked.

Reasons why I think it is the hacker: Because the message is on messenger. Because the guy sounded like a hacker, because I can't change my password, because when I successfully try to log on then it increases the number of devices logged on.  But that could also be facebook. There are some other clues that it is probably facebook. But I do not really know for sure.

I mean this hacking is actually very targeted because it was on an email account that usually doesn't get spam.  But that might also mean they did not expect the level of protection that I have.

Well, that is all. I hope I do not lose any email accounts or anything.