Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Thursday, June 4. It is about 2 am.  I will probably take my medicine at about 5 am.  I think I unexpectedly have a full day tomorrow.  Just the usual writing stuff, getting some packages ready to mail, possibly assembling some important documents, and maybe doing a transaction.  I kind of feel like get it settled if I can.

It is weird that I wondered if I had books but not addresses but actually I can all of a sudden think of four recipients, not including the two I have already assembled and the possible autism drop.

I felt sad earlier because one of those credit cards that doesn't turn anyone down turned me down because I had just inquired too recently from the same place and been accepted for a different one.  So maybe that was a mistake but I do not know. I think it is good for me to hit a limit and know I am done for now.

And I think I am okay for this month and can get the thing in question done tomorrow.

So anyway I also read about something so horrible and wow it affected my mood but sometimes that is good for prayer but wow it was too sad.

But anyway this weekend I need to put together some writing and it is forming in my mind a little bit. 

Today I read through rude surprise, funny funny haha, and soul blood.  They are good enough books for sure.  Definitely some of the earlier stuff was funnier, but some of these recent poems are nice.

I hear some thunder outside. It is nice. I do not know if it is raining. Maybe it is. Or maybe it is a truck outside. I hope things get better soon for a lot of people. As much as things have seemed bad, we don't know what is going to happen and maybe these past rough phases will be over.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Wednesday, June 3. I just walked to the store. I was not going to get food there but they had good stuff so I got some sauce and noodles and potatoes and more sauce.  I think it was about 2 miles.  I think I am doing about two miles a day now.  I feel okay about my medicine and need to keep it this way.  So far this is about four months with the right medicine.  Maybe only three and I need to take it every day and keep it this way.

So the food situation is good but my cash banks are kind of low.  However I think it will be okay. I told my therapist all my delusions about literary status and I am very happy for her to be able to get that out of me. I mean I told her all of it. I think people know that I have fatigue about some stuff. Like I can't do all this again.

Maybe that is what I will do for a while now is read through some books and think about if I think they are good or not. I mean do we have some decoy books that aren't good?  Pretty funny!!

Who else do I need to call. Maybe Justin. Maybe Jay. I think people have let me know that some phases are over. 

Are people proud of me for taking a walk? I mean think about this year. That is an improvement.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Wednesday, June 3. I just had therapy a while ago and I can feel it working in my brain.  But I took my medicine only 5 hours ago so I also feel that hampering the effect.  But mostly I feel good and am thankful. I got to all the issues.  The only question is whether the meter is okay on that poem. I think mostly it is okay. I thought I would only have 30k views total but it is mostly India and will be about 600k views, which I did not expect. I think that means that my numbers have officially been adjusted to one per one instead of 50 percent of that. So I should not waste it. But I do not have a budget to do videos.  And I think for some reason I am able to accept that more than I had been able to before with the other posts.  And yet maybe not give up too soon. Maybe I can find a sponsor or something. Or who knows, maybe things will finally turn around with the books.

The one per one is a million per hundred. I mean that is awesome. That is 10 thousand per dollar. I mean what other value compares to that?

So anyway that is a good boost and surprise.  And yet I was trying to get some american audience but I guess that will be a different boost sometime.

I am not going to the post office today but maybe tomorrow.

Maybe a walk later. I will check the weather.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, I just woke up. I had a cocky dream from mascot days where I unexpectedly had to be cocky at a game.  It was kind of rough but okay.  Now it is 1:30 and I go to comedy class at 4:30.  I saw that our class show is on June 14 and I have two other things scheduled that day. So I need to figure out what to do. I might be able to be in a different class's show. 

I am leaving here to go to comedy class probably at about 4:30. There was a snafu with the peanut sauce spilling in the bag of thai food but it is okay. 

Gice there is something in the works and I agree with myself about it.  It is not that easy but I think it is the right path. I just have to wait on some emails. But then I have a little bit of work to do.

Pals, life is weird, isn't it. Definitely the heritage poem also soon, but maybe just to India. I mean if the people in India really can read the poems and like it, then why not go with that. I wish they could get the books. I do not know how to make that happen. I mean find a publisher? I do not know. 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I just had some weird dreams but it could be from the spicy food. Soon I need to take my medicine. I should do that right now, shouldn't I. I think I will and then go back to sleep.

Do you gice like my new poem? I think it is one of my best poems.  But that heritage poem is good too. Maybe I will send that one around soon, too.  I mean I do not know if the poems reach enough people in America but even 5000 total with what, 300-400 actual readers, I mean that is better than nothing. You think of an open mic, which would be about thirty people.

Gice I have a facebook friend who is a meme-ster: I'm awesomesauce.  I am happy about that. Psychotic Delusions is also my friend probably still.  

Pals am I revving up this jokes page again? Maybe with some poems? I mean maybe.

Pals, the new card. What to do, i will find out today. If I don't hear back then it is facebook money for now.  One round of videos, ten mil, getting close to the 200 mil goal.

Gice it feels good to reach the jokes crowd in India. They make me feel better. They are nice and say nice things.  God is going to give them a lot of stuff. I have to see that as my main purpose to pray. I don't know if some people see that more than I do. I mean I just feel like in some ways it is rude for people to only shove me more towards that and ignore my other efforts. But at the same time. I mean let's get the cash, I do agree with that.

Well, that is all. have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, my church knows I bought Thai food instead of tithing. Well it is not over yet. I could still tithe but I donated to some mental health people.

I just think one of my old churches that could have supported my page didn’t and may think I did not tithe enough there but when my salary was 12k a year for ten years I mostly gave to world vision. And I won’t be considered a non tither for it. And they are too glad that I am gay so they can tell themselves my India posts aren’t worth anything and don’t count. A lot of people would have gotten a salary for it. Imagine that. 30 or 40k a year and no one would so much as give me 150 dollars to reach a million people. Well my friend Jay did and now he owns the rights to a hundred books. To be split of course among the others, some of which might have already done their thing.

Anyway that is one of the worst things about the swindle is how the church people who thought I wasn’t doing right say haha we knew it. I just feel that whoever decided certain things really wasted something great.

Anyway here I am once again saying oh well there is always heaven. 

I thought of an idea for a poem.

 Hello everyone, I need to practice my comedy routine. It is Monday, June 1. I emailed someoen today to see if they want some books and at first I typed in the wrong email so it bounced back and I thought I was blocked.  But then I saw that I had just typed the wrong email. So I re sent it and I think it will be okay. I mean who knows if they want books. The timing is kind of not ideal.  Because these people do summer work that is overseas. So I mean who knows.

The weather outside today is the best ever. I should take a walk but I want to go to a nami group. Then I have my writers group and I do not know what I will write but I think I will do one of the prompts.

I kind of have felt some lostness in recent days, like not knowing what to do with myself etc. But I think just continue with the normal stuff. Maybe try to attend more autism stuff. I kind of want to do a mental health program somewhere. I might see if there is one on this campus that I can do but everyone might hate me but we do not know.

I think some people know I have been bullied at the post office for a long time now but to me when I actually can't get my mail is when I have to report it.

Anyway I am going to probably work at the judgement day game show program in heaven and it will be fun and I just need to keep that in sight and not give up and not be overly depressed and mad.

Maybe I will read some books or something for a while. I think I will try to memorize my comedy routine for tomorrow.