Hello everyone, this is Refried. I had a cool dream about working in a food pantry, or really volunteering there, and I was trying to find something to substitute for some squash we didn't have, and there were multiple stations of people bagging food, and some of the other stations were really quiet long term volunteers. It was a nice dream and I am in a good mood.

I think I can still feel yesterday's therapy also.  But I am sad that I got triggered. But I am okay, and really I think I snapped out of it logically and just couldn't recover a good mood until I went to sleep.

So anyway, I just went to go get water, which I was almost out of, and some groceries. The grocery trip didn't really go well. It was kind of crowded and I didn't get the right groceries but I got a few things that will be nice. I bought some cooked shrimp and wanted to buy some yum yum sauce but they did not have it. So I will go to the other store and look for that soon. It just means don't eat the shrimp yet.

Anyway, it was a challenge but I believe all these bronx workers will get an awesome reward someday.

What else: another compliment on my christmas poem. It made me happy. Thanks everyone. It also kind of confirms my view of being able to tell when something is good or not.

But interestingly I worked on backup files and a new email address last night and felt that my original three books are still the key books, and maybe about five besides that are the ones I would want to really not be destroyed if all was lost.  And that usually happens in some way anyway.

So as I was saying, who do I need to call. I do not know. There are people I kind of want to call but will only do that if I really feel like it. 

Well, that is all. Have a good day, everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am calming down. I have a plan to give away more books. I hope people will let me mail them one. I do not think people should say, "Can you just send the money instead?"  That is rude, and I get the books at a discounted rate, and it is only ten or so dollars.  So for most of my friends who own houses when I don't, they really should just let me send them a book.

Anyway, there is a conspiracy and it works a a certain way and I need to look on the bright side and not be a jerk.  Because the whole point is that I have enough to go on and they arranged for me to experience a more sacrifical lifestyle than I would be able to do on my own.

And what happened because of my loneliness? I ate in restaurants a lot, which is another blessing from God.  So I need to be thankful.  I made my choice which was fancy food.

Anyway, I got a great compliment on a rhyme tonight, and that should be enough for me right now, shouldn't it?  But I got upset because of that skit. It was my idea and my career is missing and I am going to be a target.  And yet I am not a target and that is why there is a conspiracy. They are protecting me from that very thing.

So in that context, some of my sins got through. I hope people have enjoyed the entertainment of that.

Does anyone have any opinions about that "liberal gospel" book? I kind of think with that title, that is the one to go over the edge with.  And yet with both things, I question if I violated myself and others.

What do you gice think? What do the conservatives think about it? I kind of think they might see what I was trying to say more than some people, and yet isn't it jolting? And do people deserve that? 

Anyway, who reads this blog? I think they took my numbers as I gained momentum and I don't understand. It would have chnaged my outlook to have two hundred views on that poems page. But I guess that already happened but then abruptly zero when that is not accurate, I just don't understand.

I just feel that what has been done to me is mean, and I don't see a benefit of it.

Anyway there was some interesting bridge socializing a while ago. That is also a goal for the year is to maybe do more cookies. I can do it everyone.

I believe I will be less lazy. I hope Dr. T lets me do 30 mg of Latuda instead of 40. That will help some.

Well, have a great day, everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 8 pm on Tuesday, Dec 30. I talked to my friend Tami for a while and it was great. Earlier I had therapy with Larissa and that was great too. I also made pancakes and sausage for lunch and dinner. 

I got upset after watching an snl video that was similar to one of my story ideas, but I think i should look at the positives.  Mainly, that is proof that it is a good idea at national level.  And ultimately I think their execution of the idea wasn't as good. So I will keep watching the skits and having a good time.

But I am reminded of the injustice of my lost career. I just don't understand why people were allowed to ruin my life. I have received generous therapy, but I feel that no one has been held accountable for any abuses against me.  Like literally no one out of at least ten people who bullied me at criminal levels.

I have hopes that this could be the year when there are signs of my books selling, but I think for some reason I am supposed to believe that they are actually selling okay now.  But I have not been advertising properly so really I don't think they are doing that well, except to be available for copying.

And then the society keeps becoming more ruined, so who cares anyway if you are a successful author in the mix. possibly I had a bad reading of a book today so I lost some confidence in the books as a whole.  

I just feel like one of my books gets off to a bad start.  But maybe it is okay for that series.  I think it will be one that people do seek out because of the title.  The Liberal Gospel. It is just kind of iffy in the beginning.  Should I edit it, I do not know.

Anyway, where is my girlfriend? I do not know or understand. I kind of think this whole set up is kind of cruel.  I do not see the point of it and I still disagree with the delayed writing career.

But one day at a time. On Jan 4 I try again to play games, on Jan 17 I go to the children's book conference, and some other days I do therapy. That is happy and in the meantime I can cook and walk on the treadmill.  Maybe that is the goal for tomorrow is to set that up so it is usable.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Monday, Dec 29. I have been waking up late but still having good days. I have averaged one to two walks a day for about a month now.  So that is good and is an improvement from an overmedicated year.

Today I went to the post office and mailed an awesome christmas present which was a kermit doll. Wow it was great but the mailer tore a little bit so I hope it gets there okay. 

I also picked up some books I ordered and will try to give more free copies in the next month. One of the new ones I just did got here and it is awesome! It is better than I realized and I think the next one is also cool.  So that is good. I need to figure out some people to mail those thin books to. I think that some people will really like this series. So I will peruse my facebook friends list. I mean possibly the facebook phase will go away some day but there are a lot of people like me who probably won't ever fully log off.  

Some people went to instagram but that is not really me.

Anyway I have been watching SNL videos on youtube and I am happy because there are literally like ten years worth that I could watch. And I am finding them to be very funny.  And I like all the cast people.

So that is really cool, and they live in New York City!

It cheers me up and hopefully I can send the links to pals sometimes. 

I have not been talking to phone a friends much and I hope everyone is okay. I just have had other stuff on my mind and they probably have to.

Tomorrow I guess I might go to the grocery store if the weather is right for it. At about 3 o'clock. Or 2 pm if I get up early enough. I had a good christmas. I got a good present from my friend Wendy who I guess is one of my new subtitutionary phone a friends.

Well happy new year everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I just posted some posts on my facebook page. I think the reach is low right now but that is okay. I had some popular posts before christmas. Some people might have blocked me.  It is okay. Will I boost that frog post sometime soon? I do not know but I am not planning to do that right now. I think I spent most of my budget and I don't know if I get any book sales from anything.

I mean I really don't know. I think the conspiracy interfered with the blog traction I was getting.  And I don't understand that, and it could have been a whole different career from the beginning if I was able to successfully share blog links. I mean I just don't understand.  Possibly some people think it is God's judgement on me but I don't think it is.

Anyway, all that is fine. I saw a possible video to watch from another author but I might avoid the psychiatric problems. Posting earlier in the day might have gotten more likes, but for some reason that was not what was meant to be.

I talked to Ravneet today and we had a nice time. I do not know what to expect this year and how much to believe that my writing career is chugging along.  But mostly I figured out that I am a social worker and a writer but with no salary because people would take it away.  So really that is kind of crazy but I have had a lot of creative support so I should be a good sport.

Are people tired of my rhymes. Well I think I did kind of good with that hobby. I do not know if I will continue doing that but I might. And who knows, maybe I will start writing regular poems again.  I think that is kind of humble to start over, though really I should not say that.

Well, now we are at the end of this post.  I have been staying up until 4 am and sleeping until the afternoon.  I think I need to get back on track so I am not tortured at North Central Bronx.

Tomorrow I need to go to the post office, mail a present, and possibly go to the grocery store.  Do I have eggs right now that I could devil? That would be great. Speaking of devil, I just read that part in revelation where the dragon got mad at Mary. I mean you almost can't even believe it.  And some people don't, so let's pray for them. Well, have a good day everyone. I like my facebook friends and try to keep them.

 Well everyone, it is time to take my medicine. But I just want to say that there is a weird advertisement story on the fox news website. It is about pop-tarts mascot and it is a made up story as if there was a mascot fight at a bowl game but it is an ad for pop tarts.  It is so weird and bad, with so much horrible news, to have a fake pop tarts news story mixed in. I mean it is ridiculous. It is disrespectful in a certain way. And then the fact that universities are part of it because it was based on a bowl game that the advertisers sponsored.

How weird. It is a weird society. Will things turn around, I do not know. I feel targeted by cops in my neighborhood like I have to worry about randomly being arrested if I take a walk.  

But hopefully I am okay. At housing they are not torturing me anymore unless there is something I don't know that is going to happen to me. 

Well, that is all. There was a weird SNL skit.  But there are a lot of funny ones. I am watching them on youtube and some have really made me laugh.

Well, have a great day everyone.

Hello everyone, this is the cover art for one of my new books. I finally figured out that I should not do so many squares.  Some people at the hospital secretly told me that.  Wow it took me a while to figure that out and I have twenty titles that use a square photo. So that is too bad but I think over all it is still okay.

I was strong and added another page of names for acknowledgements but thought I had thanked Choco the Macho Chihuahua and didn't in any book. So that is sad because his mom had a tough time this season wit health. So maybe I will add another page. But it will take a few days.  I feel like it doesn't mean much to people and then after I publish, I realize that it does to some people.

I might watch some more SNL videos and have seen three funny ones recently.  So that is cool. I am hoping to do sketch comedy in heaven. It will be a different medium for me. 

Today I slept through daylight and hopefully I can eventually get back on schedule. I think one strategy would be to try to miss a whole night, start going to sleep at 9 am, then 10, then the afternoon, and lose a night of sleep in the process.  But I do not know if that is the way to fix it.

I miss Ravneet and did not hear from her as much today. I think it was because she knew I was working on my book project.  I actually had not planned to do the trio book today but probably the conspiracy knew I would.  I am happy with the books and I think they are cool.  Should the emails have been formatted, well I don't know. I think it is okay.

Have a good day everyone. I guess I will watch some skits on youtube and then read the news for a while.