Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 10:29 am. I slept okay and don't feel that tortured to have taken the latuda.  But if my skin gets messed up again then we will have to do something else.

So okay wow I just saw a photo of prisoners in El Salvador. I doubt all those people are terrorists.

I am not going downtown today unless I realize that I did sign up for the autism party but I think I did not. But what about tomorrow for the other comedy class. I think the marathon doesn't ruin the traffic that bad but I do appreciate being notified.

I have a joke that I could get in trouble for but it is just a joke. And I might have to really defend my rights on that but I am not contacting my lawyer ahead of time. There is such thing as a joke. Certain laws about being a traitor to the country are about directly being a traitor and not against make a joke.  And if people can reasonably tell that it is a joke then they are the ones doing a crime if they try to pretend that they thought you were a real threat.  But there is a thing about what is worth what. I just feel that this comedy routine has already lost too many jokes. I mean should I bail, I do not know. I think I should do the best I can.  To me, my comedy clips online aren't that special but people do like them but I think there is inustice in accepting that but not the poetry from fifteen years ago. I just don't understand.

So anyway all the Ravneets have really been nice to me lately however the main Ravneet is the person of the day. on Halloween.  She said she was dressing up as a saint for halloween.

Pretty funny Ravneet. So okay. I need to make coffee. I do not think I am going to go to starbucks today.  Because yesterday I got tortured there a little bit towards the end and it really hurt me and at night I had those thoughts like I had killed everyone in the world.

And that is because of the shaming when they try to treat me like a criminal problem.

So anyway there is a serious problem right now which is the detention centers.  And just because they are in other countries doesn't mean it isn't from America.

But we trust in God, not our own voting power and line of politicians. I think it was when Bernie was out of the 2020 race that Covid hit. 

So okay. I read some more books.  I think my books are good but I think definitely there are stand out gems of poems and stories and some of the other stuff fades.  And there are a few cringes but honestly not that many.  And people can try to frame more of it like that but they are wrong.

Ok I know what one of the meanings is.  That is great news. Some of it still has to be interpreted. 

Gice what am I going to eat today. I will figure it out. I might try to go to Mensa discussion but they might be mad because I skipped too much but I really just had to take some breaks and I also took a break from Toastmasters.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, I just took my medicine. It is Friday, Oct 30. I took the risperdal, trileptal, and latuda.  It is okay so far. I hope I don't feel sick. I still need to do pantropazole and an iron pill.

Man it is rough to take medicine. I guess now I will play some music.  A person was nice to me on facebook. I mean I guess some people were waiting to see if certain things were a mockery. 

Kind of funny.  Also a funny secret message from other USC people. 

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone. Today we had another pest control day. It was okay and I went to Starbucks and McDonalds again. I read some books and am happy with what I read. You know what I read is Poncheesy and I like it. I think it is a cool book.  That is kind of a surprise to me. I wonder if people will be able to tell the difference between that and my other novels where I did not use journal filler.

At Starbucks they sharked me for a while and I figured out that all along it was probably to create witnesses of innocence.  So I guess I get that but wow I sometimes do wonder if the other success path would have been a good choice. But I believe all of this is meant to be for whatever really weird reason. I mean such a detailed mess but maybe it is about a lot of us being trained to be good judgement day staff people. 

Anyway there was a funny picture on facebook today and it really cracks me up. I mean wow so funny.

I read an article that was kind of discouraging and reminded me of something I figured out also.  About my generation already having some of its writers harvested and now it is going to be second effort people. I mean that could be good but I do feel hurt and mis-seen to be counted as being from that wave.

But there is another factor involving bookstore and library shelves and some kind of equal opportunity that would be more fair than social trends. I mean wow what was ruined for me was so epic so I don't just casually dismiss it when it reflected a lot of life and work  from millions of people.  But there is maybe some other ideal where people go into a library, especially as a kid, and they see the shelf of joke books and choose one.  And it isn't about generations and work trends and promos and privilege, but there is supposedly a factor where someone chooses what book they want to read.  And the person who wrote a classic a hundred years ago and the person whose book is next to that in alphabetical order both have an equal chance. I mean I can feel how that is not how it works and yet it kind of is on some levels. And it is good to still believe in that. Also, to insist that if self publishing in this time is not a legitimate option, then someone out there is cheating and blocking.

Anyway I might revisit that article. 

Gice I am sad to miss the Dr. Fatima appointment but it will be Nov 9 right before my trip. Which I personally think is very thoughtful and caring. I think they knew I could not take my medicine last night and still be out for pest control today. I mean maybe that was what it is about.

But anyway some lawyers are helping me now with the apartment situation, but most of them think it is an abuse issue that needs intervening and not just a case to cash in on.

 Gice it’s not that easy to have heartburn. It doesn’t feel good. It gets worse then better then worse so you think you can control it with your thoughts but you can’t.

But it could be worse and I think the tums will help.

Well have a good day

 Gice I have heartburn and I can't take the tums because of the poison spray all over my cupboard contents. Do I have another tums in a different bag. I will check.

Ok I found some in a bag from my last trip. I also have mylanta but I think it has been too warm for a month so I do not know if I will take any of that but I ate two tums. I bet two tums is enough.

This brings back the feeling of being bullied by racist trash. But everyone knows it. I think they will be gone soon and people will intervene and the people who supported them blindly will be humiliated.

So anyway I hope I feel better soon. There was something funny in my email today that cracks me up.

Well I guess listen to music for a while and see if that helps.

 Gice I have a little bit of gastritis and heartburn but it is ok. I just ate a lot today and ate it fast.

Gice my doctor confronted the apartment people. They said I am not losing housing.

I guess just try to feel better.

 Hello everyone, it is Thursday. Oct 29. I just got home at 8:40 from a 3:30 appointment that I left for at about 10 am.  But I had a nice day and I like my doctor, who is Dr. Fatima.  I have to go back on the latuda and am not happy about it but I just really like this doctor and will do what she says. But I felt the toxic abuse feeling this morning from the apartment and emailed Drena and it was a bit much for Drena and she had to put me on automatic message status. But I think part of that is because my sister is coming to visit and the conspiracy thinks maybe my sister should visit Dr. Fatima with me next week.  I think it means my sister is going to get some health news about me.  Last time it was Dr. Rojas telling her I had heart problems.  I think we might be looking at a dementia update this time.  But it is okay. I actually am okay if I take my iron pills.

I did not plan to go downtown but I did go to the Luke's lobster place which was a tiny place that mainly sells lobster rolls and I did like it and I had lobster bisque which was good but possibly too spicy for my food intolerance but still yummy.  So then I went and got coffee and dessert at Kaboozles, which is my favorite restaurant.  That was yummy but the music was too loud and it seemed to be on purpose.

Then I took a cab to Grand Central and took the 6 train back to the Bronx and it was a good train ride.  My train rides today were mostly easy. I saw a new pal at Grand Central and a poster that confirmed what I think is a third deal.  

I mean wow way to go because it doesn't always go that smoothly. But possibly the pretend nature of it helps.

Gice I think these feelings of toxic abuse are nothing to play with.  It is probably from the conspiracy but to me you don't just do evil like that. But maybe that is like some kind of chaplain secret strategy that people do all the time but I just don't think you drink poison for a good cause.

So anyway what did y'all think of the food.  I liked it. I thought it was a good day. 

There was a cursing guy I had to avoid on my way home but I was able to avoid him and it was okay. 

I guess I have a little disorganization myself.  I told Dr. Fatima about the recent issues. I think she thinks I am being mistreated at housing and the housing people are busted.

Well have a good day everyone.