Readers who take seriously my "this is abuse" statement: there is something that is abuse but I am provided for and I am back to feeling okay and hopeful. There is a path forward and I am safe in terms of daily living etc.  There are just crimes that people got away with and missing career elements that compare to people simply not ever receiving a paycheck.  It is something like that but what do I do. 

But like I said, I will try some ads for the younger people soon and see how that goes. And I have new professional organizations, events scheduled, food in the fridge. I am okay. I mean a lot of people aren't okay right now but we don't need to just make that the new norm.

PC USA determined that the Israel's attack on Palestine was a genocide.  I mean I think USA is also defending Israel from a genocide from Iran. I just do believe that when that is in the news.  I also think Obama might have been right when he said that Palestine needed to be a separate state.  But they wanted quite a chunk of territory and on maps you can kind of see it as a an aggression against basic existence for Jews in a region where Muslims do have a lot of location options. But 30k children.  So some people did not do right.

Anyway thanks everyone. 

Ok soon I will take my medicine. Gice.  There is something to be sad about which is that I have inspection tomorrow. But I did laundry earlier this week so that is good.  Only a few dishes, then clean the table. I might not do well because of missing medicine one and a half times.

Gice. I have not prayed that well but I will try to later.

Ok thanks everyone. I am praying for God to break up the curses that people pray. I am prayign for those prayers to be counteracted and translated.  I myself have prayed like that before but in the end we want blessings for ourselves and do we really want to see bad news every day? I don't.  So anyway I mention that because a lot of people will have their prayers in the jackpots.  Like replicated 45 million times. So I mean there are going to be some thoughtful people who get discovered.

 Hello everyone. It is Thursday, July 2. I just went to a meeting and it was nice. Soon I have to take my medicine. It will be okay. I had a rough afternoon but am okay. I mean wow I am thankful for what I have but I sometimes feel the missing stuff and it hurts me a lot.  But now what is missing is the book sales, isn't it? Like isn't that all and I will feel like all is well? I mean not really because where is my girlfriend and why can't I take a trip to the beach. I mean not everyone can go on a vacation.  

But anyway I am just so thankful for air conditioning and I have a pepsi in the refrigerator and some ice cream.  Today is the midpoint of the heat wave. It kind of gives me hope for future populations because air conditioning exists and people can stay inside like they do for snow days.

So anyway I enjoyed that meeting. Someone named Joy was nice to me.

Becky is nice to me too. I love Becky.  She is a nice person.  

Tik Tok is helping me. I think everyone is participating in the conspiracy. I think it is a little something for the youngsters.

Wow that dalmation video was just incredible and amazing, how sweet. Hard to believe.  Just great and think of all the nice innocent people who have an innocent social life on social media.  I mean there is a lot of nonpornographic stuff and God knows that some people needed all of it.  Except abuse of course, that is terrible, and the accident videos where people fall.  And yet what would the middle schoolers want to watch? Maybe some grownups falling off cliffs.

Wow I made myself laugh.

So okay. I am okay now.  I miss my comedy class but now I am going to have a double comedy class, individual coaching and trauma class. I possibly need to recruit some people. Wow I think I will.

But wait a minute it is female and gnc only.  Well that is okay I think I can find some people.

Some long distance people. 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Thursday, July 2. I tried to advertise on TikTok but it would not take my card. I am waiting for a reply. It is only accepting me as a personal profile and not a business.

It kind of frustrates me. But it might be time to make a grilled cheese sandwich.

My main reaction as I am not able to advertise is to say my lack of book sales is abuse.

Someone is abusing me. I do not know who was supposed to do what. But this is abuse.

But thanks for the blog views, and I still have a lot of my friends. Probably about ten percent.

So I am thankful and especially glad to not be out in the heat right now.

But I feel in this way that I can't run a normal business that someone is abusing me.

And who is it, I do not know. I think there is a game where people see other people not doing stuff and they say, it should be the church, it should be a hospital who hires me, it should be these people those people, what about the facebook friends. Meanwhile more of the disability haters become vocal, and I am seen as a bum.  And the bums see me as more of a bum than them.  Because I don't have a flourishing drug dealing career.  

Anyway, I guess I will make the grilled cheese sandwich and get ready for my comedy class. My mood is low now and frustrated instead of motivated and hopeful.  I believe it is a refusal to serve case.

 Hello everyone. I boosted two jokes post and my numbers are going to be in half because I added the african countries to India this time. I just felt like those countries did support the jokes page so I am revisiting them. It is going to be hard to get lower numbers. I will feel an unsatisfied feeling. But I felt that it was the right thing to do. I mean was I wrong. Did I need to stick with India. I mean these posts are both crowd pleasers and I could have hit 2 mil. I mean maybe I was just wrong.

I mean maybe don't even think about it but I was looking forward to having those successful easy posts.

I mean was I just wrong. I guess live and learn. I just think a lot more people would have liked the butterflies especially. I mean maybe I was just wrong.

But it is okay. I mean honestly maybe stop the boost early and save some money since it wasn't ideal. Like  hit pause tomorrow or something.

I just talked to my therapist a while ago and it was great, she helped my mood. 

Well have a good day everyone.

 Pals. I am not able to go on the California trip.  My mom had said yes but did not realize how soon she would have to do the deposit and her knee is hurt so she can't just suddenly go today or something. I mean I could ask that but I decided to let that be the clue I needed to cancel. My own disability is also a factor. It is just too big of a bite for me to chew.

It really is about the deposit.  I am wondering if we can change from monthly to trimonthly deposits. Maybe for 6000 so 2000 a month. I mean it would be hard to manage that and the money would dwindle but this is just not an easy set up and it is turning into me itemizing me expenses more than an adult should have to.

But anyway I am sad to not be able to go on the trip. It was a good opportunity and I feel like there was some possibility for sponsorship of the page. But I think it is the same as Write to Publish where they will think if I had just been obedient it would be game over. 

So I am sad to fake them out but I think also if they are that hurt then I would need to have more paid for. Like if I am make or break then I need a plane ticket. But they know that.

It is kind of sad but honestly I am not up for that kind of travel, am I? I just don't fly. What am I going to take a cab to JFK and hop on a plane after a TSA violation and then take a cab to a hotel and not sleep and have gallbladder pain and not have a go to hospital? I mean I am disabled. I am down for the count.  We just discussed that I have three years left. I can barely do trains to SC.

This was kind of weird, the way mom said yes and then it was a no go. I just feel it is safer this way anyway. I did the best I could. 

 Hello everyone, I am doing okay. I think what happened is that I saw some memes that were better than mine and it put me in a low mood.  But I am happy for those people. I really am. I am not jealous. And I am happy for myself to have memes at all. Some of my memes are really funny and I do not mind not being the ultimate.

Gice, my lawyers are the best, I am really happy with them.  I need to figure out which books to register. I bet they would let me do about ten. I mean possibly I should do 30 over the summer and fall.  So maybe start with ten and gradually add some more later on.

So do you gice think I will probably make an egg and cheese sandwich. I think that will be yummy. I had also thought I would make cookies today but I didn't. 

So let's see. I just get the pan out, put some butter, heat it up, add an egg, cook it, add cheese, put some mayo on the bread, and then I have a sandwich, I can do it. I will try to do that at midnight.

Gice it is so sweet how people have been nice to me. It is weird how I have a lot of foibles isn't it. I think some of it is the anxiety and awkward autism stuff.  I think it means we should try to help everyone like that. I think I should post about the Ayn Rand people on my page and stick up for them.  I mean think of all the bad news and then there is that. I mean why not be happy. And they are russian. So it is like hmm, russians. And yet they aren't nuking us.  They are climbing the empire state building and nice people. So let's be thankful for that on our feeds.  I mean on New Years, it will be in the highlights. Which reminds me that I need to call Sarge. I think that could be a good happy thing in my week. I hope she is not mad but all my phone a friends got rationed out over months instead of days.

I wish I had a strawberry pretzel salad. I think i do have some jello. I feel okay now. Notice I did not help myself to an online appointment. I really try no to overdo it.

Gice did you see how the young guy at the muslim deli was nice to me. I hope you gice can do a good conspiracy for them. But not to neglect 7-11 either. I mean and Burger King with their good coffee. They have been nice too and wow we know it is torture there sometimes, do we not? I mean we know that. What can we do about it. 

Well that is all for now. Ravneet said thanks everyone.

 Hello everyone. This is Refried. It is Wednesday, July 1. I kind of feel mild angst and depression.  It could be low iron fatigue. It is hard to tell if it is mental or physical.  But I am at least cooled off and okay in my room. I just kind of don't feel as good as I did earlier today.

It could be from trauma from texting with my mom.  Or going outside and being aware of how bad the heat is going to be for two days. Or all the news, etc.

It might be some fear about the possible trip but I think that will be okay. But I have felt overwhelmed sometimes lately, like from trying to do normal things that aren't as disabled. 

I think I have a comedy class tomorrow. I hope it goes well. I think it will.  But I do not know if I am getting the link emails or not.

But anyway I just ate some sour dots. They were pretty good. Then I fixed myself a coffee.

I am excited about being in the self publishing group that I joined. I hope I sell some books soon. 

Tomorrow I talk to my therapist. I am really glad about that.

Ok Ravneet said I need to eat something. I think I should make scrambled eggs. I could also make a grilled cheese sandwich. Maybe I will do both. I think I can wait until ten oclock.  I think that might be why I don't feel that great is because I had a stretch of time this afternoon where I did not eat enough.

But I ate apple jacks and a milkshake a while ago.  So now I will have some coffee.

Well have a good day everyone.