So anyway, what genre is this? It is the yapping genre. A category of nonfiction that deserves a green sign over a shelf at Barnes and Noble and it says "Yapping" and can be the self-published books.

But the conspiracy is pointing out that there is a third Garrett. The junior Cocky mascot when I was Cocky.  And the school made such a big deal of making sure you knew you weren't the real Cocky when you were junior cocky, and yet in that Bellevue newspaper article when I was senior Cocky, they said "one of the cocky mascots" was missing.  So someone took a little too much care to make sure people knew it wasn't the other Cocky.  But the other Cocky was supposedly junior Cocky.  "Mr. Garett."

Well really it should be three people, it shouldn't be anonymous, and it should be equal.  But they have a literacy mascot so one option is to do one sports, one community service, and one literacy. With two people each for each one, so a team of 6 or 7 as the mascot team.  But then one person might be an alternate or substitute for all of them and they would be treated like me. So they need two for that, so a team of 8, like Florida gators.  

Anyway one time I saw a vision of my mom surrounded by gators in our backyard, and one time I saw her covered in snakes in the hallway door area, which was the same location where I was screaming as a two year old after I broke my leg.  She said that I had told her, "Anne ball hurt," or something, as if my sister hurt me, which was a lie. A lie she told herself, because she came from a poor family and some poor people lie and that is why they are poor. And she has lied to herself about the Dr. Brown incident, too, but Dr. Brown doesn't matter.  Every day at Barnes and Noble was just as bad as that unfortunate molestation.

And now I remember a fourth Garrett.  Judy's grandson. Well Judy did not get any books, and neither did Trilby, and neither did Maribeth.  Because they are going to be in the trial when Barnes and Noble accuses me of elder abuse against Mary Alston because I called her worthless in that email that Byrnes read because they monitored our computers too closely and let Costco try to sell memberships to a union.

I mean wow, when I got switched to do the travel section and all those countries got prayed for. Well I hope everyone is happy with what they got. But what I was trying to say is that I did not pray for my mom enough, or the rest of my family, and God has documented that by the spiritual attack that drove me into the lower regions of spiritual earth life that overlaps with hell. I mean who did I meet there, it must be really nice people who were on a similar mission, or people who belong there and are on their way lower.

 Wow that is so scary is how there are two Mr. Garretts.  The Mr. Garrett who told me about Jesus dying on the cross when I asked him how to go to heaven, and the Mr. Garrett who made me lose the election for class president because the teachers knew I had too many activities and my sister didn't have enough.  So they did what my parents did which is mess me up instead of helping her.

But we don't really know the true tally, do we. And I looked at Kim Jolly's test answers for The Little Prince. And I liked that Susan person too much but she was a different Susan. And Richard said he liked a cow. And then the social work teachers pretended to be cows.

So I just think possibly there is a comedic aspect to some work that angels do, and they could be young and immature. Because how else could they pay attention enough to help us.  

 So the conspiracy is saying that it wasn't for just nothing, but it was for something, nothing, and worse than nothing.  So it is probably okay to focus on the middle storyline where it is a matter of being allowed to do what I am supposed to as long as it is for nothing or worse than nothing.  So then I can't always see the something. Well I do not know. I am not sure I understand it but everyone has chores they don't like.

But sometimes there is in fact missing meaning.  And maybe that was the picture of irony for literary purposes was me selling books full of meaning while having my meaning taken away.

There is meaninglessness in the torture, there is absurdity, there is an existential component, and way to go MC on that. I mean who thought of that, for me to get the good side of that philosophy.  Ouch, that is another past person referenced, is everyone just going to turn in their sins for this cause? I mean how reluctant was it. Maybe people thought they were in the right.  Well I kept some stuff to myself. Does someone get a reward every time I do? I just feel that I have a journalism degree and people delayed the acceptance of the poetry and fiction and now we have ten books of me yapping about any idea I have, any memory, and all the mistreatment, which is overwhelming and very societally thorough.

So I guess that is the sin that Jesus did not do, because he asked God why that stuff was happening, which implies a trust for meaning.  But I said in a poem "My parents knew life was meaningless, but they still bought us the piano lessons," or something like that.  And I felt kind of bad. And then I said that peopel need to do what they are supposed to for no reason, and that was my secret.  But it kind of does match the other thing I tried to suggest, which is that people would do well to give up their reward in heaven.

So honestly I kind of see a theme that I must not have thought of myself. Rewards. Motives. Well that is interesting.  Whose reputation got protected and whose didn't? Well eventually everything comes to light, and you can learn not to fear only because God is good.  And churches can teach that, and people can learn, but some people do not get told, but some people choose not to get told.

 I think we are getting into the social work material, although I kind of already wrote about it because the Bridge is from social work school. And part of that is about Harlem supporting the Bronx. Which means I am of course not the only literary representative.  But it also means I probably should have listed Langston Hughes in that query. Well I am really sorry but it took me a while to see that as a comp. Partially because it is ridiculous. And yet maybe not. 

Wow I should not have said all that.  Like that is the whole humility problem which is in question. I mean I now have called myself humble in a book and that is the ultimate conceit.

But I got distracted. What I really wanted to say is that the social work school was playing out a lot of storylines, and one of those storylines was that I am a notable child psychologist.  Like in my children's social work class the teacher let all the students share their strategies.  And that guy with the tattoos had the best material.  And I asked him how he was allowed to be in schools like that, because people never let me even wear a bandana.  But I didn't mean it bad but he was kind of tense about it.  But they treated me sometimes like I was a peer of Menuchin and those people, and I was like what could you possibly be talking about.  But it was because I had intellectual conversations with anyone, including children. And they felt that was a breakthrough, to talk to children as equals. And that is an idea of why my books deserve that audience, because I did not know, because I was good for the money, and mindful of them.

But anyway people had cued the school to play the game and treat me both ways, as some kind of psychology legend and as a child abuser.  And they did this by my recommendation from Bobby, who had an actual court case after a grandmother said he abused two kids.  But he had done a lot for them. He did a lot for a lot of people. And I did not read the newspaper story because I don't indulge in base mental behavior and gossip. So some of us stayed his friend, and it was really good people. And he was cleared, but left the organization in other care. It is also possible that the county did it to protect me from BN.

And I still think he probably didn't do anything and either he was repaid for helping people by total betrayal, or if he did do something, I had to eventually say, well I guess I am friends with a bad person. And that is like lutheran theology where you accept the problem and admit the thing that you don't want to be true.  Which is a lot like what happened with gay rights, where people would tell people they were gay, and they said, you know what, I am.  So that is at the heart of NYC and NYU.  And the actual social and spiritual descendants of "protestants," also known as "protestors." So this topic shifts now from a child psychology theme to a theology theme, and my suggestion to the social work people that they also switch from the protestant identity to the lutheran theology identity. I just think that is the thing not to be missed.  

Well some people can see the other thing, which is that the conspiracy is calling the social workers child abusers. I kind of don't see it and am losing my focus.  But maybe someone wanted the social work school to really have people consider me in that category for some reason.  And interestingly, the only thing I have ever done that has hints of that is working at Barnes and Noble. Like I just think the merchandise we have there and its availability to people is really questionable. And yet those people tried to portray me that way to my community, to my latter audiences, and to christian history. When first of all, where did your dollars come from, and second of all, the dirtiest thing I did in the store was work there.

 Gice, Starbucks is too crowded. But a worker named Jamal was nice to me. Thanks, Jamal. Wow. I have never been that nice to people in my life. I am sitting outside.

Pals. Do you think I was wrong about that stuff? And the way I said anti- white when the Mexicans are being put in detention centers? Well I think every single race is getting hit because every single part of our society is getting hit.

So I guess it is a spiritual war being made manifest. And yet there could be a decoy war. Which I have discussed before. 

Ok I see the thing people tried to remind me of. Thanks a lot, I think it will be ok.

Pals did I betray a friend. Well I feel more betrayed on a level that ruins my whole life retroactively. And then the context of that, like who does anyone think they are, and most of all, how low do they see me. 

So that is the next book I guess and makes me right with my parents. To defend our tuition money.

 So what is the theme. It seems we have arrived at Satan’s lair. Which is where? The New York Times.

The secret messages said review that last post for edits. I think the issue is frenemies. A lot of frenemies. All from the same place. Suspicious to me. When the speciality is socializing.

And I have a lot of other friends as a reference point.

I mean what are people thinking?

 I can see that there is one thing past that, how horrible, which is something demonic, and I already know that because of a vision.  And that is to have to worry about false reports after finishing my elementary school social work internship.  And how you would think the risk is from that teacher who treated me like crap, but it was from someone else who wrote papers about me.  What a bunch of racist bullcrap, absolutely encouraged by the social work school.  And how it is two things combined that you would not expect: the evangelical discrimination against the gender people, and the liberal racism.  And the scary scheme thing about it is that the true social justice people and the true evangelicals did see that they were on the same page in a good way, and that was the cool thing that happened on social media, too.  And then what, this other alliance from supposedly the same groups.  The anti trans and anti white, the hate and evil happening now.

Even as I say that, I do not really see that alliance in society that well, but as an evil attack, it is there.  And none of anyone's vision is that good because social media took back their main thing that they provided. So now all we see is bullcrap narratives motivated by people trying to get fame, wealth, and power. And really anyone could die, because it is total mayhem, and who fueled it and benefited from it more than the media and the monetizers?

I still like all those people but they made their choice and it has absolutely tortured me after I paid my parents' life savings to move to a dangerous place and serve people for free, as a person with two other masters degrees and thousands of hours of volunteer experience.