Hello everyone, I just was able to eat that soup that gave me a stomachache last time.  It was because I accidentally ate some weird vegetables in it.  But this time I just ate the broth so far and am okay. And it is so yummy. It is honestly worth a hundred dollars to me. But I got other food, too.  I think this is the first delivery driver to come all the way to the lobby instead of meeting me outside. But I might be forgetting something from four years ago.  But I think I was here for two years before I ordered anything.

Anyway some people helped me feel better, thanks so much. The autoimmune zap does feel bad. There is pain and a sick feeling. It could be so much worse. I am glad to still mostly be able to eat normally except for avoiding a few foods. Like I can still even eat fried chicken occasionally.

I think the chicken curry is okay and won't give me paronichia. I mean that is serious now, that the results of a spicy food can be so serious.  But I am okay. I do sometimes reflect on my health when I feel okay and am thankful. Because whenever there is an issue, I am very bothered even by just the fear.

So anyway, I could not go downtown today or yesterday. I really wanted to go to blessing of the animals but I couldn't.  If anyone is paying attention from a large conspiracy, it is time to reflect on disability and what a lot of people miss out on. Mostly I have had a very full life.  

Ok there are a few other things to say.  One is about forgiveness and a reminder to forgive.  I really feel like I need to get some more prayer work done on that.  Not because of resentments but because of the need out there for a lot of people.  Both the people wronged who feel pain and anger and the bad people.

I mean yeah I do believe we are all bad sometimes but I just mean sometimes you can logically refer to the violators and the hurt people.

There is something else.  From one of the visions that made me perceive God as saying, "you don't know what you are asking," etc, I feel like I can interpret some more and feel him reminding me of the bible verse that says no eye has seen what he has prepared for people who love him, etc.  I mean the idea that eternity in heaven is going to be more awesome than we can imagine and just think of the humor and hilarity. I mean think of how facebook was at its best, and heaven is going to be better.  That is amazing, and the level of being reminded of it is making me be a little bit less selfish.  So I need to really dwell on that and keep other people in mind.  You can tolerate more problems when you have that perspective.  But I also defend my feelings that sometimes you do find your life on earth and need to really make the most of stuff here in certain ways, defending it sometimes, and choosing positive earth outcomes over lazy waiting for blessings in heaven.  However there is an overwhelming reality that we will get plenty of stuff in heaven so we need to accept some suffering and losses here. I mean that is an important part of the most important stuff. To say okay I can take a hit now and be happier later. It is really a key opportunity. And for some reason I became aware of it yesterday and maybe can pray more and care for people who were not told about that stuff.  Because God might tell them himself in some way.

But anyway I feel that God personally reminded me of that, how heaven is going to be great so don't be a brat here. I mean he meant it in a nice way.

Anyway Delores was downstairs and was nice to me. She is an awesome good person and I guess the social work people found her and knew that too. I gave a joke book to the delivery guy. Tomorrow I am mailing one to my friend Ralph from Mensa. I thought it was humble of him to ask for one. There are different kinds of humility scenarios and I just could tell that he was being humble to accept a book.

So anyway I think I should post some more soon on facebook, like normal post for friends.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 3:17 on Sunday. I just ate some apple jacks. I think I might cook the frozen pizza but what I really want is cheese grits. I just remembered that there is some popcorn in the microwave.

My neighbor beat on my door again but it was not as bad but I did not really need that this morning. I haven't been feeling good because of eating a cinnamon candy Wednesday that was too spicy. But I am okay. I should take an iron pill soon too but I did take one yesterday and I took my medicine last night.

I could eat a granola bar too and some fruit snacks.  I think my mood was slightly lower from not doing any creative projects.  But I feel like I discovered that I have done everything I can on the books and am at a resting place with it. But I do not really know. Maybe I am supposed to keep advertising.

I am sad that I missed the puppet show but I just did not feel able to attend and I made my choice to send a snake video to Algeria. 

Does anyone have any thoughts?

 Pals.  This is Refried. It is 1:47. I feel better. I went to the group in question and it was great.  They treat me fine.  There have been some issues before but sometimes I do not know if it is really my paranoia.  

So anyway I met a cool therapist who has been through stuff worse than me possibly. I asked her about forgiveness because she seemed so peaceful and she actually still had some violators in question.  So that really built a bridge with me and I will continue working on my own prayers for people.

I think at 2 pm I might go to the mensa discussion group. 

I learned a lesson which is to always show up if possible.

So okay. Do you gice think it is bad that I am pretending to have an agent? Well to me it is kind of fun and I might as well at this point.

I should sit down and do some comedy homework shouldn't I? 

My girlfriend made me feel better this morning. She gave me secret messages and it was fun. She is mostly proud of me. She said something funny. 

I ate a candy apple a few minutes ago and now I am drinking milk. I think I will go buy a bag of sugar after this meeting. A huge bag of sugar is my favorite thing to buy.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 9:36. I am drinking a coffee right now. I feel a little bit attacked by the liberals this morning. Some of it is just a mood.

Some of it is from a voice inflection, some is from an email, some of it is from a mental health group that sometimes treats me like crap, some of it is from a bill that is hard to pay, some of it is from interpreting the news in a slower way than the aggressive political rollout, and some of it is from my neighborhood.

Definitely that is one of my findings from emotional abuse is the use of prior circuits of pain so that someone can activate a whole set of bad feelings with less obvious provocation.

Anyway I will probably feel better later. I mean am I going to boost some posts or do a book ad? Maybe.

I might try to get the copyright help from my mom sooner than my trip. But I don’t know. I think that would help in some ways and yet it isn’t that urgent. I am kind of ok for a month.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I posted my book. I think possibly I need to say more about the CRC.  What threw me off was that it was Tennessee for that other thing and not Texas. So then that left an empty space that probably should be filled with something about the use of drugs and coercion.

I have been a little slow with this case. It is hard to believe about the essay punishment but no justice. I don't mean that in a way like I don't believe it. I mean that in a way like it is shockingly poor. But anyway I need to check on the botched execution case. Ok I just read the latest article. It is very sad to me. 

Anyway I just cooked those potato perogis and it is yummy. I am also watching the children's illustration piano music videos.  It is just great. I had a good daydream where I went to the hospital and my agent visited me, then two doctors were nice to me before I went to the TV room to eat a meal with Ravneet and four other people. One doctor, one friend from the pretend program, another doctor, and a volunteer friend. We ate potato pergogis and then hibachi steak and shrimp and scallops with white sauce and lemon butter sauce and possibly some A-1 mayo combo. Then we went to the other TV room for hot chocolate and games.  It was fun. I felt like I was really at the mental hospital.  

I do feel some addiction potential with the daydreaming but mostly I feel some impairment from low iron and whatever psych meds did. Like my attention span is compromised for daydreaming and I am lucky to have any social attachments in my mind at all. Depression and other conditions that reduce love feelings are very serious and the mental health people need to really figure out how to help everyone restore their brain's functioning instead of just sedating people and making it worse.

Anyway that is so bad to say the daydream but I think everyone's reputations are protected. Does anyone think it is funny? I kind of do. But some things are not funny like how everyone needs prayer and support right now.  Like the shuttle bus adventure made me more aware of people out there working. It is not freaking easy. It is not easy for anyone. The corporate people, the service professions, and all the people in poverty at night. It is just really a survival situation and it is going to get cold soon.

Does anyone have any opinions? I mean how is it different from making a movie or reality show. Well I do not know. Do people question my judgement? I don't. I feel so much better on less medicine.

 Pals I am sad to not be at the puppet show and I think I will have some regret about it but I really couldnt afford it and feel that a pace of staying in my neighborhood a lot actually does work for my current condition. So I am really sorry everyone, but I did enjoy crank yankers and I feel that it had to be this way. If I change my mind for tomorrow then I will try to get there somehow but I believe I feel torment in audiences and would be thinking thoughts about how it isn't that funny. Is that what you really want? 

Anyway, these are some of my best blog posts. I actually do think there are still some hints of disgruntledness in some places, but mostly it makes sense. 

Will I write that story about the FBI person. Well maybe. Does anyone have any thoughts? I kind of want a pizza. Do you guys think I should order a pizza? I mean I do not know. 

This is a fun VCFA event and very low effort and it did keep me company. So I think that was very thoughtful and I appreciate it. Well have a good day everyone.

 Ok everyone, I just looked up the exact date for literature event and did not see the names of the people I had in mind. RG, Esme W, T'nahesi, JH, and maybe one or two who I am forgetting. All of those I personally think could be twofers. But that is based on my own habit of conflation. Also I am reminded that I feel like we are in a flourishing time period of literature, or are completing one, and it could be good to have multiple winners for some of these big time awards. Like maybe five or so for each one. You think it would diminish it but maybe not. 

For this one, based on the list I just saw, I have to enthusiastically cast my vote for JK Rowling. And then say something so rude, which is that it would happily be for something that was "actually creative."  I really mean that as a genre label, but I think sometimes the genres that seem less strictly philosophical actually get underestimated. People are mad now because I implied that their books were one dimensional, but sorry, I just really like high concept literature.

So okay. I do not feel tortured by this topic. I feel like a normal writer who tries to be successful with various amounts of failure and greed mixed in.  I have to congratulate all the mental health people who helped me. Because this is a positive mental place to be and I am thankful. It took a lot of work from everyone. When I am a euthanasia client in NYC, it will be from avoiding medical pain and not from life despair.