Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Sunday, Aug 2. I had a nice day and went to my friend's comedy class show.  It was great and there was an amazing surprise which was that Jon Stewart was there.  Can you believe that? And there were several people who might have gotten discovered.  So that is great.  I forgot to tell him hello. 

I wanted to tell him my favorite joke of his and could not remember it.  But now I do remember it.  It is when he said Bjork was not at the Oscars because Dick Cheney shot her.  Man that was hilarious.  Because of that swan dress which I also did like.  So that was great. I am going to see if he has a website.

After that I went to Gemini diner and had steak and eggs and it was great.  I talked to my friend Katie and I think she is a match for middle church.  It is really sweet and her religion is healthier than mine so that is kind of interesting. It made me kind of question some of my religious habits, like maybe there is more that I don't understand well than I realize. 

Have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, it's me again. I just need to reiterate how sweet Dr. Oouyang is. The notes are really sweet and I hope that this positive can help me get through a bad time with this problem.  

I need to rest and then go do laundry. I do feel tired. I think I am not manic and have gotten plenty of sleep lately but am worn out from psychological. I mean it is psychiatric actually. But I am okay and not seeing any more visions so far. But that is fine.  That is not really the issue.

The issue is I am going crazy in this apartment and fell behind on chores a little.  And yet not that bad, just some trash to take out and laundry.

Also a friendly face from Mensa.  Some nice people who supported me.  That is nice of them and humble. They took a beating sometimes but I am one of them so we are in it together in terms of seeking credit for a test score from high school that is partially a measure of privilege. I mean just admit it. We read books.

So anyway. Will I do laundry now or at like 6 am. I am thinking at about 2 am. And I can use the elevator so that is really nice. I think another thing is bothering me is that there are some flies and bugs in my apartment. But I have fly paper. So that is not out of control either.  I think my schedule is clear this week so I will clean up if I can.

There was something funny on the notes. People are really creative and I appreciate it. It is fun games and helps Ravneet feel better and be safe too. Is that true Ravneet. Ravneet would say, Well...

Pretty funny. Ok everyone I think we all did okay and this is hard times but let's just get the ideas on paper and it is a meaningful happy purpose. 

I think I am expected to be age appropriate in a certain way which is so crazy. Another creative, funny thing.  But I am saying is that I am an oldie but goody at that organization while also being a child at heart.  And so many of them are like that.  And who cracked the code? People from a long time ago. I mean how sweet and thoughtful. They saw my lonely art appreciation, that did in fact have relief from some stars, and then they cracked the code that I was a children's book person. I mean how sweet.  And I am like, I like Sandy Skoglund and surrealism.  And they are like, this is a children's book author.

So anyway that is happy. Hopefully I won't fall asleep yet and I can get stuff done and be ready to do three socializing tomorrow plus medicine. Yay for anxiety medicine that might actually make me feel better.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I had an online appointment for my face and Dr. Ouyang helped me so much. Thank you Dr. OuYang.  I love all the NYP doctors so much and other medical people too, but people are mean to me sometimes so I can't just go around saying everyone does right. But Dr. Ouyang prescribed me something different than usual and I think it might really help.

So that is cool and at least I have some hope.  But I will also need to use self control. 

Anyway I feel a little better. I think I also need to clean up a little in the apartment and that will help.  And then getting out tomorrow will be good.  And I should go do laundry in a little while. It will be fine.

So what else to say. I do not want to be presumptuous of people if they do not feel mutual with me but I felt a peace from the author Sharon Flake that made me remember teaching days.  And it is reminiscent of the connection I feel with Lucille Clifton for certain reasons and the comfort I felt when Nikki Giovanni died. And I don't know how much to say about it except that I think in some way I am going to sit at the black table for literary heaven. I mean probably I could have kept that to myself and I don't mean it in more thorough ways than it is.  And I do not plan to steal from other people who are those people's Refried Beans, like I am for Ogden Nash, Roald Dahl, and maybe Anne Lamott and a few others. Like what I am saying is the club I am imposing myself on is full of other people's example writers.  But there is something different than that for me that overlaps with my teaching and reading life. I am going to try to send Dr. Tracy a note soon to tell her I met Sharon Flake.  And as for what I have read, shelving is something too, and could be more in some ways. And I do not mean to diminish anything but it was a social peace.  But social peace can also be supernatural but that was a happy time that I had and then maybe I ruined it but I think I didn't. 

People have done a lot for me and I think a lot of people are in for a happy surprise. If you are wrenched by this then you probably have an India on the horizon.  And Africa. So anyway, thanks everyone.

I am going to see if there are notes from my frantic doctor's visit and then I will try to do laundry. I am not sure I have the ticket I need for the comedy show tomorrow but it will be okay. And I should invite my friend Katie to go to the show instead of just meeting up later so what does this mean. Maybe get up early.

Ok there is something I left out but am still thinking about. It is about A.P. and how much like an advertiser she is. So I need to think about some more branding and interpretation.  Also is there a muslim task at hand that is not complete yet even by me. Like maybe I need to be alert to help people.

 Hello everyone. It is 10:42. I am listening to music. I need to take some trash out and do laundry.

I think I will try to do laundry in about an hour.

I had a good time at the conference. I think I am always going to be a little out of it from now on.

I am glad I was able to go to all the sessions. It was easy to attend. I had a good time and met a lot of people.

I feel like I have a lot of children’s book friends now.

Something funny happened from an artist I like who does clay creatures that are cute. I showed one to a good person and told her I think ai scraped him.

So that was a good experience.

I have three or four leads for follow ups and bought three books.

My face is messed up from latuda and anxiety and the bridge mistreating me. I think everyone knows it. Like how can we mess up this persons life. Well we just help Satan like normal. Yours truly, mental health workers.

Anyway I am thinking about doing an online appointment about the face but really what can be done. I just need to calm down.

I still feel kind of scrambled and angsty but I think it is really all contained in my face. And my breathing is ok. So it is like this is how the anxiety is hitting me. From a month of harassment and fear and thwarted living.

But I also feel it might be a test of worthiness for writing for teens. And a message from God to the children’s book community that I probably always will be a teen myself.

And I think they got it and that guy was his name Paul told people to be a child. I mean that is excellent.

I like that lady who said not to sleep in the poppy field too. I mean that is good classic advice.

Well, that is all for now. Thanks everyone for tracking along. I had a fun time I just feel it was weird about my new computer and the face etc.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 8:11 am.  I just tidied up a little bit and put trash into a bag. I also paid some credit card bills and am okay for a month. I need to see if the U.S. bank card has gotten here yet and then I might apply for that synchrony card.

There is a secret message about a baby anteater. I am the baby anteater but I don't know exactly what it means.

I got some sleep last night and took my medicine. I kind of think I should have talked to my friend who wanted to talk but I needed a break. I mean days of a break.  But maybe tonight I will call after the conference.

There is a lot of bad news in the news. How is my face doing. Not that good but it is okay.

I think I should listen to music and try to get my mind in order. I have some coffee and what will I eat for lunch? Maybe an enchilada. Maybe some ice cream.

Well, that is all. Have a good day, everyone.

Hello everyone, it is 3:30. I missed a presentation because of having air meet problems.  But they sent an easy link so there is no excuse for my problems. But it is okay.  And I am not going to the meeting later tonight because I have a comedy meeting.  Possibly I should work on the cheesecake jokes.

I am drinking some coffee now so that is nice. I need to tidy up but I did just drain the sink water. I mean maybe wash the dishes soon because I bought those new sponges.

There is some good news which is the elevator is working again now.  That was kind of rough. But I felt better this week about it and did the best I could.

I put some new sheets on my bed and I think that solves that problem for now.  I think I will order a new sleeping bag sometime.

I paid my late bill but am still getting calls but hopefully tomorrow I can pay all the cards for now.

This morning after I took my medicine I slept some more and had a dream that I was generating inappropriate content on ai.  Not for other people but for myself.  But right now I have no temptation to do that and feel normal. So that is good.

ok anything else. I think that is all.

Gice the person yesterday reminded me of my outburst 7 years ago.  I do need to mention that to someone sometime and say sorry about that.  But I think it is okay.

I am sad that I missed this last presentation but I will try to catch it later.

Well, have a good day, everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried Bean. It is July 30. 

I am going to an online conference today.

I think it will be fun. I already did one session.

I had interesting dreams this morning. 

I think soon I am going to walk to westchester sq. 

But I took my medicine so possibly I won't feel well enough.

But probably I will leave soon and it will be okay.

Definitely the conference said some stuff about ai.

I think it is empowering to people who feel like their work will be copied.

But I use ai sometimes and think that actually I am most likely to be copied.

Like literally possibly more than anyone else.

But it is not all about me. 

I think people are allowed to copy me and then say I copied them.