Great News, Everyone!

 

Hi everyone, I have some happy news, which is that I was accepted into a high IQ society.  The society that accepted me is Infinity International. It is for people with a proven 140 IQ. I am so thankful and it makes me feel better after some suffering and rejection. In my life I actually have had some good acceptance as a writer and school person, but I have also had some severe underestimation and mental battering.  So this is a nice marker to clear up any mispercetions based on my behavior and faults and foibles.

Wow, this was a rough week, I feel that there was quite a spiritual attack, but friends helped me get through it and I am hoping for a nice Christmas. I might buy some cokes at the store tomorrow.

Next Friday I take the Mensa test and I hope that I can get a score that qualifies me directly for their organization as well.  I think what is most likely is that I will barely pass.  But we don't know how it will go, and it is kind of a tough challenge for me to try at all.

Thanks again for the conspiracy, and thanks Ravneet for helping me get through these recent days.

I hope you all have a great Christmas and get lots of presents every year for eternity!

Main lesson: Choose the test center option

       Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today is Tuesday, Dec 17. I am recovering from an unexpected incident that traumatized me on mild levels personally but was actually pretty extreme psychologically.  As I mentioned in my other blog post, I tried to take the GRE at-home-test Sunday. I kept changing my mind about whether to try my best on the whole test or just do well on the verbal section and either skip or tank the other sections.  Just a day before taking the test, I realized that on my practice test, the computer punished my verbal score if I tanked the math test.  Well that meant I needed to do well on the whole thing.  

       It came time to take the test, and the proctor was late to the agreed time for the session.  Then he talked too quietly and was not helpful as we set up the online system.  I think he was doing it on purpose, and there were three things that made no sense whatsoever and had to have been an attempt to drain my patience.

      When it came time to scan my apartment so he could see my testing station was right, I could not easily place the computer within visibility of the door.  To plug it in, it had to be the way I usually use it on zoom.  This is when I decided to give up and cancel so my scores were not affected by a bad experience.  Obviously there are multiple factors, and my computer was heating up, too.

       But it wasn’t a normal choice to forfeit the cost of the test.  The experience with the proctor was so violating that I immediately started contacting the test company to complain.  I also unexpectedly asked for a refund.  The process of communication was blocked by bots and barriers to a normal customer service process.

      The bad feeling has lasted for days, and this morning I sent a letter about it to some seminary friends.  It did help me feel better and I felt God’s love because I owed those pals a Christmas email and now I had some good content.

      So that is weird, and today I got the email from ETS saying my “scores were not reported” because my computer didn’t have visibility to the door.

      I think that tomorrow I will hear back from one of the people I complained to.  I think I will be calm and accept losing the money. I think that it might end up being two separate issues: the bad proctor, and not being able to take the test.

     Except I am not sure it was two separate issues.  I think if I had a good proctor I would have been able to find a solution about the laptop.

      Yesterday I almost filed a complaint with better business bureau, and at night I even wondered if I should report it to police, based on the deliberate nature of the incident. But today I think I am opting out of an ongoing legal battle.  I think that my complaints and their choices of what to do will just be what they are, and their problem is more than apparent and documented.

I'm going to have to stand up for myself on this one.

 Well hello everyone, this is Refried, just blogging a little bit on a Saturday morning.  I have been blogging on these blogs for many years now. I like the old fashioned blogging and think people who say everything is on substack now are not totally right about that.

Tomorrow I am taking the GRE on my own computer at home. I am going to tank the math section and write a letter for my essay portion describing some of my actual intentions.  Because really I am just trying to see if I can do well at the verbal portion and get in the 95^th percentile.  I scored in the 94^th percentile on the main time I actually took the test, and it almost qualifies me for the poetic genius society, which I thought would be fun to be a part of.  But they were strict with scoring and did not let me in even though I also got a 97^th percentile perfect score on the writing portion of that same test many years ago.  If you score the whole thing it puts me in 99.9 range, even 99.99 if you look at it a certain way. But really I only spike to that level occasionally and in real life I’m actually right exactly in the 99.5 range of the poetic genius society.  And I think they should be able to see that easily from my numbers.  So now the fun is kind of taken out of it.  And it matches other experiences of chronic low status and rejection that are suspicious.  Like there starts to be a discrimination pattern and you have to revisit my identity factors and notice the autism, mental illness, christianity, and bent gender.  

Well there are other societies like Mensa that I could qualify for with just my old SAT scores, and I might ask my mom if she can find those and mail them to me.  

This interest started a few years ago when I got marked way too low on some psychiatric testing.  I had lost 30 IQ points from trauma, and the way they described me felt insulting.  Like questionable personality and intelligence, after being quite an entertainer for years and breezing through the top honors college in the country. 

So anyway I have learned a lot from this and changed my mind about some ways of seeing things.  One thing I see differently is Mensa.  I always thought it was kind of prideful behavior to join an IQ society, and then when I was finding these societies online, I felt like Mensa was too low.  It is just 98^th percentile. That’s one in fifty people.

But now I see them as being the inclusive, nonsupremacist organization which really has a noble mission of celebrating intellectual ability and goals, and helping gifted people meet each other.  And personally I don’t feel as much need to prove higher levels by joining the other groups, but might choose the fellowship instead.

My mom is going to see if she can find my old SAT scores, which might qualify me for both societies.  That would be a weird outcome, because my GRE had something truly spectacular, which was a perfect score on the section that virtually no one gets a perfect score on.  Even the perfect math scores have three entire percentile points less than a perfect on analytical.  So it is the highest of the perfect scores.  And yet these IQ societies can’t tolerate it.  They say it doesn’t correlate, but what it doesn’t correlate to is their own inability to produce their own material. To generate genius content instead of jumping through academic hoops. 

Maybe I have caved into nerdy insecurity out of failure, or maybe I am still the punk clown who finds the strictest of standards to be a stage and vault for jokes and mental revolution.

How to Change Your Name

 Hello everyone, this is Refried Bean, just describing my name change process if anyone wants to know how to change a name. It is a lot of work but can be done in a straightforward way with most of the crucial things happening within about two months. 

The first step is to fill out an affidavit form requesting the name change and have it notarized.  A lawyer can help but is not necessary.  You then take this form to the name change office at a courthouse with proper ID and do what they tell you. I think there is also a thirty dollar fee.  They process the request over about a four week period and then have you come in with additional ID. There might also be another document that has to be notarized.  This second appearance creates more of a paper trail and I would suspect that for some people they get it done faster and with just two visits to the courthouse. 

You need to have a reason to change your name, but generally it is your right.  A legitimate reason makes it go more smoothly.  For me, I was making my pen name that I already used for 10 years into my permanent name, so I brought the court a copy of a thin children’s book that I wrote, which also had a photo of me with my name.

Eventually they grant your request and you go to the court house for a third time to pick up the actual court order.  This is the most key document.  It costs about six dollars per copy and you need to get about ten copies so you have enough for all the agencies you want to update during the first year.  The court house keeps copies of the document also, so if you ever need one, you can go back and order more. 

After you have this document, you immediately go to the DMV to update your drivers license, and take it to the social security office to have your new social security card ordered.  At the office, they might instantly type it in their computer, but you still have to wait until they mail you a new card. Several other agencies are updated automatically from the visit to the social security office.  For instance, SSDI and medicare. However a call directly to the medicare office is a good idea, and they change your medicare card too. This takes time, and to me it is questionable that it does not happen faster.

The DMV license becomes a document almost as important as the court order itself, because that is what you take to banks as soon as possible, so you can get a debit card with your new name. It is also a document that most places want to see instead of a court order.  You need to send original copies of the court order to most of the government ID agencies, but most businesses and organizations want to see the license. Also, keep your old license with your old name for places who want to see both IDs.

Changing your name on your birth certificate is interesting because the birth certificate is a historical record in addition to being used as ID.  So you can see a case for not being allowed to change it on the birth certificate.  But what they will do is change it and send you a new birth certificate that says “amended.”

A priority that is another main form of ID is the passport.  This can be done at the post office and is actually somewhat challenging in terms of effort.  You have to make an appointment, get a photo taken, and fill out an application that can’t have things crossed out on it.  Also there is a fee that is more expensive than the other costs for the name change.

It takes several months to get all of this done, but the first days and weeks are crucial to get it started with the visits to social security and DMV.

Other priorities are insurance, Medicaid, organizations you participate in, and asking people you know to call you by your new name.  Some places make you ask twice. I did not appreciate that and felt it should be more straightforward.  But I think they do what they think will be most helpful to establish your new name. I had to call my health insurance company 8 times to finally get a new insurance card.

For credit card companies, you often have to fill out a form or mail in copies of your license and the court order.  It can usually be a photocopy. They will send a new card with your updated name. This could be a good way to document the name change.  I had about 19 credit cards at the time of my name change.

Some places are slow and don’t care, but the fact is that it involves a court order so everyone has to get it right. However, if you are using the name to control other people, you can expect to be defeated, because other people have rights, too. I sometimes use my old name in coffee shops so no one will feel like a fool as they say “Refried Bean.” It is a name for a comedian and humor writer, and I respect other people’s preferences of what to say.

It is nice as the year progresses to be able to fill out forms with your new name when it asks for “legal name.” Eventually you see your old name less and systems have your new name listed correctly. 

As for whether all this trouble is necessary, If you just want people to call you something different, it might be enough to have a nick name, pen name, or stage name.  That is often plenty of preferred identity acknowledgement, and a few years of that can be a good start for if you ever decide to change it permanently.

Thanks everyone, if you feel like sending me a card with my new name, my mailing address is PO Box 37 Bronx, NY 10461.

song: What a Beautiful Name:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5L6QlAH3L4

Most of the squirrels are probably fine

Hello everyone, it is Dec 8.

Friday I went to a short conference about humiliation.  It was excellent and I had a great time. I had ups and downs with socializing but mostly enjoyed it. I gave a five minute speech about my idea for irrigation systems in forests to prevent wildfires.  It went well and I made a climate friend who I can send ideas to if I think of anything else. I actually did think of something else which is heaters and air conditioning for animals as well. 

This is a philosophical conundrum of how much to interfere in nature.  I think we can gain some guidance from the book of genesis which tells us that the whole world has fallen into horror and probably any amount we can intervene in nature’s share of it is good.  Also, I did not know this until a theology class, but apparently nature also sins.  Like some of the tornadoes actually do mean it personally against us.

So anyway that is what I will tell my new pal if I send him a book sometime.  I do not expect to think of a lot of other ideas, but sometimes I do think of stuff so I will do the best I can.

What else to say.  My medicine is hurting my digestion.  I might ask if I can go back on one milligram of Risperdal and 600 trileptal. But I don’t want to be tortured by the apartment people again.

Today I went to the grocery store and accidentally bought sugar free jello.  But I gave it to my neighbor and she was so happy.  So that is nice. Another friend suggested that I make cookies and give them to people on the subway but I am not sure I am strong enough to do even one batch.  But I don’t know.  Maybe if I get some ingredients I can make a few choices and bag them up as an assortment for people. Or maybe it is supposed to be just for people here at the apartment.

Tomorrow I go to my mental health program and then talk to my therapist at 3:30.  

The other thing on my mind is whether to order some more joke books to give people, and if so, does that mean keeping two or even four credit cards that I was going to close.

Well I don’t know. I just don’t know.  Tomorrow I am sending around another video ad and I will see if I get any more book sales.  I sold five books last time.  I hope people like the books. Five books sold from an ad is an awesome start and maybe my probation time is over. 

What else to say.  I added a phone-a-friend tonight who I actually called a month or so ago.  It was a good call and I can call again without feeling shy. The friend and his friend are writing a Broadway musical and I think it will be great. 

Do you think I am going to be sent to a hospital about my medicine? I do not know.  What should I do.  I kind of think the Latuda is making me have fewer intrusive thoughts. But it might be depressing me as well.  And I feel some rebellion in my mind sometimes, that could result in questionable choices. It’s not causing dramatic weight loss, but I haven’t totally gotten rid of that half mg of Risperdal either.  So I really don’t know what to do.

Well have a nice day everyone, do the best you can and you could win a mllion jackpots on any day for any blink or think.

hi from Greenville

Hello everyone, I am in Greenville visiting my family for thanksgiving. Five more days until T Day. Last night I had temporal lobe seizures and cool dreams.  It was nice and I am thankful. I think it was a gift from God and helped me feel loved. Then I went back to sleep and had another dream where I was doing some kind of social work and had to actually hold these snakes so people could introduce themselves.  And I did well but there were some snafus and interuptions.  So that is weird. I can't remember it very well.

Now I am awake and I want to go to a restaurant called Joy of Tokyo and get some yummy take-out food. But the yard people are here cutting the grass.  They are using a huge mower. I hope they do okay. Mom has had issues with the yard services and fired four companies.

 

I feel sad on facebook a little bit because I am not seeing enough friends' posts.  There are too many ads and other content. They could change the world again if they let people see even ten percent more of their friends' posts.

 

I won't go on and on about big tech, but spellcheck is changing my messages in texts too much as well. One of my texts to my sister said thanks mom and I am like why did I say that, do I have dementia?  But it was specllcheck.  And in that text I was correcting what was said in an earlier text because of spellcheck. They will take everything if we let them and our government needs to keep up.

 

So okay, I ordered copies of my new book. I discovered a kind review on my amazon page and it was a great surprise. The bullying when I share a video now is giving me hope that I will sell some books.  Because people can't bully me and cancel me if they want an audience for their harrassment.

 

Well have a great day everyone. Thanks a lot for helping me survive.

new years resolution

i guess my new years resolution is to participate more in subject/verb agreement.

really sorry to mess that up too much, but maybe other people can feel smart about it.

gice can you tell i am procrastinating something.

probably laundry but really i just don't know what i am supposed to be doing.

ok just remembered, a zoom call, okay bye everyone