Wow it took me several days to figure this out, but basically the housing people decided to not obey the law on air conditioning, or follow the directions to correct their other abuse, and they have decided to cheat us and abuse us anyway. Literally they turned the air on again for two days and then proceeded with their normal two weeks of illegal discomfort. So I will report them again tomorrow, not just to the OMH people, but as abuse. I just kept using my fan, like ok, maybe it is fine for now. It is not fine. Tomorrow it will be 90-100 in here. That was the whole complaint and they did it anyway as disrespect.

Part of their defense is that the abuse helps establish legally that I have no other place to go.  And this supposedly would be useful if right wing weirdos tried to take away my housing.  But mostly up here the racial problems are from the leftists, and Karla has plenty of people to excuse her lying, cheating, and stealing. So definitely as someone who gets the worst of both worlds, I am an easy target as usual.  

But there will be a list of complaints that stay with Karla for her short career, and last time I got criminally abused, it was complaint number twenty that resulted in the bullies disappearing.  Now Karla has tried to assure me that as long as she is here, I will have housing, but she has these other terms and conditions where I have to agree let her treat me like crap. It's a little abuse dynamic where I agree not to tell as she takes away rent value and practices some kind of activism against me and purposely tries to ruin my outside work, like comedy class. For other clients, the idea is to have work goals as part of the housing program.  But for me, any success is some kind of supremacy to be dismantled. 

Also, the new example is The Bridge using the word repair on the grievances record, like the air conditioning was broken and not turned off.  That was a lie from Daniella so I would let up on calling Karla the liar that she is. Daniella is still working with her on that. My therapist said they just don't have enough money to get good people so they have to save money on air conditioning.

 Ok everyone, I posted on facebook and it is really good material. I do not know how people will feel about it. Who I will lose and gain, etc. But definitely there were three or four good posts in a row, and it has been a while. 

I think I am not passing out books in the park until Wednesday or Thursday.

I ate too much at McDonalds but it was yummy but I kind of don't feel good but it is not that bad.

I mailed four joke books. 

The person from yesterday who read my whale book said it was only okay and she kind of liked some of the poems and not other ones.  That really made my day and I am glad it was interesting to her. It was some of my favorite feedback that I have gotten.

At one pm I have therapy.

Last night I had a dream that I went back to the spirituality and social work program.  It was weird because I had a dream of part of it and was impressed, like I felt that it indicated certain levels of spirituality from Dr. Nicotera. But then there was more to the dream where I went to the library with a new group, plus some old members, but they were people I did not know in real life, and one girl told me about how her high school colors were pink and purple but not a specific shade of pink and purple.  And then people got mad at me because I had been embarrassed when they did read-alouds last time in the library. So that is interesting.

Anyway definitely some zingers online. I mean I did bust those people. I am kind of sad about some of it because one person was a potential phone a friend and I forgot and now it is probably too late.

Well anyway it is just a lot of people to turn on me and they think if they are unanimous in their character defamation then there is no one else to vouch for me but even unanimity is going to just show the bullying at this point.

 Pals. I am ok on medicine. I feel fine. I really did catch some people. They wanted me to post a post about Karla and then they would heroically be witnesses. What a bunch of jerks and losers. 

I thought of something funny to say tomorrow but I don’t know if I will or not. 

 Ok everyone, the reason all those people betrayed me was to hide from the eyes of the people I am mailing books to tomorrow. It is some democrats. I am not a democrat but am left leaning.

It was kind of depressing but not that big of a deal. Also Karla is pretending to be a child abuser for advocacy purposes.  But I still don't appreciate it and feel very oppressed and persecuted.  I do have thirty bullies among my health care places and a larger network that supports them, plus my traitor friends who saw no other way to show racial support, bringing shame upon themselves, the population they pretend to care about, and our whole society and world.

 Well everyone, today I caught several hundred facebook friends trying to help my abusers in the Bronx hurt my life and career on purpose. I thought it was only three or four people. but some considerable networking has happened and some of the Bronx people are staff at various locations and I haven't even met them.  So to me that is really weird and I feel sorry for you all. I mean to me it does turn into child abuse when you target the career of a children's book writer on purpose and seek to make them suicidal.

And then the racism. But that was the conclusion already. I think what I missed was the attempted murder of it all. Like how you all want me to commit suicide or go to the hospital and be tortured. So that is some pretty bad betrayal. I think it is already seen for what it is.

Possibly you all are looking for your day in court where you seem brave to stand up to me, but by then you will be an official historical villain with no way out of it.

And then as a study on privilege, with all the liberal bullcrap and political problems, I can think of no more disgusting privilege than for someone to be able to throw away friendship that easily.

 Basically I thought of a really good comeback to say about the oppressor in question but I am not saying it and it makes me realize just how much I don't say certain kinds of things.  And most people don't, and that should have been good enough.  But people chose to pretend we were guilty anyway, and your lies have ruined the whole world. There probably won't be any signs of recovery for about a hundred years. 

I believe it is too late to go back and do the right thing.

So anyway, should I allude to the idea on my Bronx Page. I do not know.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Monday, Oct 12. I just had an interesting dream where I was in a hospital and an army plane that was rectangular in shape hovered outside my window and I wanted to wave an american flag but the flag was my roommate's and she said I could not wave it. So then I went to go use the bathroom which was a ladies room and it said Sarah on it, like it had been named after me as my old name.  So then people tried to come in my stall and there was a guy in the stall next to me so I had to say something. Then I was at this other city where there was a building and it had to do with preparing for Camp Opportunity and something was going on with a skateboard company or something and then I was on a train and there were PFR people shooting machine guns into the air.  Before that I was at Penn Station and it had to do with NY Cares and sitcoms. I mean it was an interesting dream.

So anyway sometimes I feel something lacking like what to be working on. Should I go pass out books at the park. I wish that Bronx event had been a successful book drop but oh well.

I feel targeted by racism again but I am thankful for having a month or two where I did not feel it as much. But I also feel more of the reality how it is going to be called what it is. People really thought God and no one else would see it and say it but it will be said. And I am aware of the people who think it is me and I feel sorry for you.  You are going to be humiliated.