Pals, good news that cheers me up. Lee said I could mail him a book. I just kind of recognize the address and am not sure why the other book did not get to him.  But he might get two books this time, one for a friend.  A Joke Book. Pretty funny. My mouse father has been handling some very important business lately. I have decided to skip comedy tonight and work on inspection. I can do it.  Even with the extra time it is not that easy.  But I just threw out a bag of trash and picked up some clothes in the bathroom. So next is the main thing I am procrastinating which is cleaning out the sink.  I can do it.  After that it is mostly easy and I could wait until much later. I will do the floor soon after that but I think I am going to clear the table.  That will make me feel like I really got it clean enough. I think I will put the clothes on a chair and then put the boxes of books in the cart. 

Pals.  Do the SCBWI people think I am mad at them? I am not at all. I think they have to be consistent and decided that a priority right now is defending their profession from very overt plagiarism from non players.  Like it isn't even from peers.  But they would say I am a peer but I would say my work is what is going to be copied. And there are some jokes and phrases that if they get copied, I will take a baseball bat to a china shop.  I need to google what is available in NYC for that.

So anyway, let's calm down. I am going to be able to clean my apartment in time. What do you think they will say about the bugs? Well I have a lot of bug traps that are working.

Maybe clear off the table before doing the sink.

I think the people I was jealous of got disqualified temporarily. It might put everyone in a jam for me to say that but I am thinking add S and D and do a group snapshot sometime. Does anyone have any thoughts. I do not know if this is the same list as before.

I think that cold empty feeling from this morning was because of the fire drill. But I do not know. I mean maybe they really are targeting my comedy career or something. That is really weird. I am not even that good at comedy and my ideas this time are not as funny.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Thursday, Oct 8 at 2:35. I washed a dish and threw away some trash. I need to get some more trash bags. I might ask the people in the office if they have a trash bag that I can borrow.  But that is kind of bad because I had a lot of notice about this inspection. But I just realized that I can use grocery bags instead. Ok so that problem is solved. Now the question is, do I go to comedy class tonight? It got rescheduled. The way back home is rough and takes a couple of hours. 

I guess I am mainly disturbed by the news right now. Like why is Trump so eager to be at war with Iran but not defend Ukraine against Russia.  But no one wants that kind of war but why allow that kind of invasion. I think being bad at religion is part of it.

Anyway okay that reminds me to try again to find that address for the joke book. I just kind of don't know what to do with myself right now, and whether to go to the comedy class. I think I might stay here.  But honestly I need some reassurance about it. Like I think I might just feel better waiting until next week to go back to comedy. But I could get some feedback on the jokes but I do normally skip one class, don't I?

Pals I am not sure this inspection is that easy and I think I am going to stay home. I think I should clear the table.  Maybe clear it into a bag and put hte bag in the closet. Maybe put these two boxes of books in the closet, too.

I haven't posted that much on my normal facebook page lately, have I? But I do have two ads going.

Does anyone have any thoughts? 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Thursday. Oct 8. I might skip comedy tonight because of inspection. I need to wash the dishes and do the counter. I am going to try to do that at 12 pm noon. I just went to the post office and Walgreens. I got some water and cokes.

Soon I need to do a grocery order but it might be tomorrow or Saturday or even Sunday. I feel kind of depressed because I am lower than the SCBWI standards.  I think I won't be getting mad but it adds to my feeling of me always being the one to not count. 

I feel better after running that ad, though. I mean maybe there is a conspiracy and the books are reaching some people, but I don't think they are.  And I also think it is weird to apply that social work strategy to me, to take away any social reward and redistribute it later, supposedly to me but probably to other people who didn't do what I did. It is just weird to do that to my whole career when I don't even believe in it for mental health.

And then this is the year to announce that I survived 30 years with mental illness and I am going to have to say that I should have shot myself in the garbage dump when I was 23.  

 I do not feel that good but it is okay. It is just some fatigue and not that bad. I think possibly some of it is because I am boosting that mouse video. I think it is a cute video. The numbers are not as good as they said they would be. So possibly I will adjust my expectations for instagram.

I decided not to apply for that self publishing award. I would have to change the book cover and take out a few pictures. I mean actually it could be done but I like the books the way they are.

I hope the SCBWI people are not mad at me and don't make me lose membership over ai use.

I think I am finishing up my career and it was meant to be and I am just kind of a sloppy person.

I watched a video from my lawyers office and they are awesome. I think I should email Tristan sometime with my wishes in writing that he be included in sorting out rights with the backup file people, even with Wade as the executor.  I mean this blog post could be used as that request.

I miss Ravneet. My mind is not as inappropriate as some people might think.

Soon I will sleep or go to support group.  Right now I am drinking coffee and I think I will watch youtube.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Wednesday, Oct 7. I just took my medicine and earlier I took an iron pill. It is 5 pm. I probably will end up sleeping but who knows, maybe I will go to support group at 7.

Friday I have inspection. I need to do the dishes. I think if I don't fall asleep soon then I should get the kitchen area clean tonight.  Then I can do an easier prep for inspection.  But really it is not that bad. I think I can stay up late thursday and get it done.  But I do not know. Sometimes I feel kind of paralyzed.

Possibly I should find some youtube videos to watch because I did not really do that much today besides therapy and laundry. But I also talked to a phone a friend. I think I should take a shower soon, too.

Does anyone have any thoughts?

I think I have enough jokes prepared for my comedy class but maybe it would be good if I could think of one or two more. I do not really know how to brainstorm that well for it, other than to suddenly think of something randomly.

Gice Tripp's theology camp starts tomorrow. But I have comedy class and a children's book presentation but I will attend friday and saturday. I still have not mailed joke books to certain people.

There is kind of a lull in attention material.  Maybe that means someone else deserves attention.

But I do not know.  Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Tuesday, Oct 6. I am watching Watership Down on youtube. It is pretty good. I tried to watch it a few years ago and couldn't because of trauma symptoms. But now I can watch it. Before that, it was when I was a little kid that I saw it and my dad tried to explain it to me.

The beginning is kind of bad and has a false creation myth. I think I remember my dad saying it was not true and I appreciate that. But I could be remembering the time jsut a few years ago that I tried to watch it.

Ok now there is biting and I remmeber the three red marks that would be on the rabbits. It is such a scary movie. Like kind of cool to make a scary movie about rabbits. I mean think of the Rats of Nimh like that, too. I am glad to participate in this genre but my books are not as scary and the mice are kind of cute.

My mouse father is ready to take legal action against anyone who calls me a bad person.

So anyway I need to go do laundry. I think I will try to do that soon but not quite yet.  

Gice I missed a meeting today because I could not find the link. So I went to the MC meeting and I hope MC is okay. I might have said the wrong thing at some point but really I think it was interesting.

This movie is kind of a good background movie if you are an artist working on some mice or something.

Should I do some more canva videos? Maybe when I do laundry.

I decided not to boost the art posts yet. I just don't feel like it and I decided to just do that video. Maybe there will be another video but I do not know. Facebook is not crazy about the blob art and I don't know why. Do they think it is inappropriate or something? I just don't think it is.

But anyway Reuben and Evangelina are back from visiting Tiffany.  They were there for several years and now they are back in my apartment.  Isn't that weird? They really were there and they really are back.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Pals. This is Refried. I did a few chores. I am about a third done with cleaning my apartment. I think next I might do laundry but I would try to do that at 11 pm tonight. So maybe next is dishes and counter. I mean maybe at 2 pm like I planned. 

I feel kind of good about what I got done. The bag of trash, picking up stuff, and making the bed. It did make a difference. So now I might watch the video from Alisa Childers about a certain topic. I do not know if it directly pertains to me. I have certain opinions about the topic.

I do not feel like walking to the places today. I feel like staying in and getting my apartment under control. I should also do the phone a friend later. I have good lunch food and I recovered from not feeling well two days ago.[

Well have a good day everyone.