Hello everyone, the air conditioning is back on.  I feel a lot better and I am relieved to not have the social bad feelings from it for too long, too.  Because after a while it can hurt your mental health to feel persecuted and disrespected on certain levels.

I think I was a little heavy handed with calling Karla a liar but that is the pattern is to lie to my face, like that is being used as a deliberate tool of abuse and I do think it was a bad choice that shapes a permanent reputation that could have been different.  I myself have stuff like that, too, which brings me to my next topic.  

The topic is that I got some conspiracy rewards, possibly for taking the train downtown more often, or for having a surprisingly good attitude about the shuttle busses last night.  So one of the rewards is that people gave me an idea for a new book.  And I don't know if they thought about it as much as me, but I think it is a possible project.  

So here it is.  I think I would use ai for it in an unprecedented way as compared to my other work.  In fact, now that I think about it, maybe instead of a novel it should be a story and I shouldn't use ai.  Okay I think it will be a story and that will keep me from being as inappropriate with it.  

Ok so here is the idea.  It is a suspense thriller genre where a female FBI agent becomes a stripper to bust a trafficking ring.  Maybe just do a drug ring so it won't be about a sad topic that no one should get fun from.  Okay so a drug ring and that is a somewhat predictable plot and a certain genre.  And it will be like really appealing in an irresistable way, and then maybe the thing that makes it more literary is to have a family of groundhogs that lives in the corners of the bar part of the club or something, and they do some kind of service for people's angel animals who are all a little depressed because their assigned humans are going to a strip club too often.  Okay so I will maybe work on that. It might be a little stuffy like my other clean teen YA work. I mean I do not want to tempt anyone to actually go to a place like that but I think reminding people of reading opportunities is not a bad idea.  Like reading is a good compromise for that kind of stuff.  Reading is kind of a good habit and certain stuff is a bad habit so the two things kind of cancel each other out. I mean this post by itself might be enough entertainment.

Which I feel is actually a sign of justice and the consequences of abuse. You will find yourself called out if you do not sincerely repent. So anyway this brings us to another thing which is how I did consistently get punished for denouncing lying. Like every time I ever say something about it, people think I am the religious person who should get put in my place.  Meanwhile they want me to flog myself for all historical racism.  But if I take any stand against lying, even in a five page social work paper, then someone sees to it that I am tripped up on purpose so I seem like a hypocrit.  Well I am not a hypocrit, and it is a sign of an ethics problem when actual virtue is not supported by a profession, and instead replaced by political agendas meant to repel some groups from working in a main career field.

 Hello everyone. I just walked to the grocery store to stock up on coffee. It was a successful trip but the construction people had left no path to keep walking down the street and the unfortunately blocked the way on both sides of the street.  Even one side is illegal so I reported them.  It was a good report but they might fix it before they are discovered.

I had to do another report for abuse because of the air conditioning. I think that my prior report to OMH should have been enough but I think OMH is allowing it.  So the next step is legal aid and to confront all three places if the law is in fact broken six times since my initial report two years ago. Which I believe it has been broken.  And I think everyone's choice to disregard the autism factor isn't going to help them.

I think I should have added one more fact to the report which is that Karla's go-to defense is lying.  She lies a lot.  I feel bad for her.  She is going to double down on it and do it more as a way of not backing down.  But I feel bad for her because it is pretty bad leadership and honestly it is bad for even the lowest jobs in society. Like how shameful that no one taught you not to lie and then you never figured it out yourself as an adult and think it is okay to do in mental health work with clients. People think this is cruel of me.  They will try to catch me in a lie to put me in my place. Really I do pretty well and I feel bad for that social work practice too.  They tried it in social work school and honestly I think it was abuse that made me feel bad for many years.  The scenario they created to try to trap me.  They just don't feel God's gaze on them and think they will never answer for it.  How sad for them.  I mean what do you do for a living. Aiding and abetting criminals with your own sins mixed in.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Thursday, Oct 1. That is my anniversary day for my first day at work at Barnes and Noble in 1999.

Today I went to comedy class and it was great. I had a few jokes and they were okay. One of them needed work and I knew it so I talked too fast.  But it was okay. I think it was a good start for the class. The class is awesome. It is a small class and everyone is funny and has potential.  I think I needed to tell that one person that I liked her pigeon jokes. But she will probably be okay.

I think Ben made them feel the fear. I think it will be a fun class. 

There was a stretch of subway route where I had to take shuttle busses.  I question if there is really work being done or if MTA is finding ways to cheat people out of the normal service for a while. part of the route involved being on the highway on a bus with standing room only.  I think that is really poor, but eventually I got a seat, the air conditioning was nice, the people were also nice to be with, and I was okay. The trip added maybe an hour to the total commute and it wasn't like a four hour trip or something. So really I am okay.

When I got back to housing, one of my neighbors was kind of out of it and was yelling in the elevator in kind of a scary way. It is a different person than the neighbor who tried to break down my door. I mean this is a social work conspiracy. Social workers manage this kind of behavior and socializing and I think they might be doing some kind of termination.  I have always felt that termination is a scam that robs people of social rewards that they earn through kind living. I truly believe that and have not changed my mind about it. I also believe that process recordings are a waste of time and the focus should be on the notes of a case. I also think interns should not be used as dummies to make clients feel better by failing in front of them. New York people do that all the time, often as racial support.  I am embarrassed for all of them.  All of the agencies, clients, workers, and especially the schools.

Well, that is all, have a great day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 3 pm on Wednesday. I am doing ok and mailed some books today. Then I reread one of the books I mailed. It is pretty interesting but not unbelievable or anything. 

I also talked to my therapist at Starbucks. It was fun but I forgot to talk to her about one topic. 

Then I turned in my rent check. Daniella came to my room to see how hot it is. She adjusted the thermostat. But I don’t know if it is cooling off but I feel ok after a cold shower and using the fan.

So hopefully that will be ok soon. It does hurt me a lot when it is too hot. I feel like Karla tried to spin it like I did something wrong for not calling the cops on my neighbor. But I think it is ok now. No one should be trying to break down my door at any time. But to act like maybe I was a bad social worker for not calling 911 is bullcrap.

But anyway I think the reason Karla did that is because the mental health people know some of the news is making me feel guilty.

But I am ok but sad for everyone. 

Well, have a good day everyone.

 hey everyone, I hope you are having a good day. It is Tuesday, Sept 29. I went to a one day conference yesterday and it was awesome!! thanks Pastors, Priests, and Guides. The communion part was especially amazing. It was episcopalian.  I do like the episcopalians who combined catholic and protestant.

Also this particular church was good and I might go back sometime.  I mean honestly I might go the the blessing of the animals and bring three stuffed animals to be blessed.   Because they do stuffed animals and real animals. I mean that is so sweet. It is Oct 4. That is really soon.

Wow, that was great, and I did have a full feeling that lasted for hours. So maybe more in person services for me sometimes.

I think I might need to walk to starubucks now and get a coffee. I hope Karla is not mad because I called her at 11:30 because my neighbor was trying to break down my door and saying she was going to kill me.  And I just don't want to call the police on her because it will be treated as a crime instead of a psychiatric problem.  But the more that no one does anything, the more it becomes a night time routine.

Anyway I will take my rent check downstairs too in just a few minutes. I think I am caught up on medicine and sleep but I kind of still don't feel great. I think it is because of the warm temperature from no air conditioning.  So I will do a report.

Also I will email my therapist.  I hope my therapist is not mad after all that video exhaustion last week. I think it is okay. I think my therapist is proud of me for making a video.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 4;17 on Sunday, Sept 27. I think I will go sit outside again after I write this blog post. I just read some of a book and I think it was interesting. I also cooked a frozen pizza and it is yummy.

My church service online was good today. I feel that when evangelicals do well, there is a certain pattern of lightness and kindness that is a good presentation of christianity.  Like it is easy and nice and should be, because most of the people are carrying their crosses during the week and need some relief.  And then the other people who never got told, hear something comforting.

I ate some apple jacks earlier and had a coffee and a half.  I am using the decaf some so really I can do an extra.  Later I have a bible study and that is all.

Today I talked on the phone with my mom and we had a good conversation.  She is doing okay after hip surgery two weeks ago. My friend Reco McGhee died but I think actually he was more my sister's friend and Reco Wilson was my friend. And yet wait a minute I think I am confusing Reco with someone else and there are three Recos. Ok I am suddenly a little bit sadder because I did know Reco Mcghee.  So who is that other guy from my sister's class? Wow I did love all my pelham road pals.

Ok I need to go sit outside some more. It is just too warm in my apartment but it could be worse but I don't appreciate it. I think this storm we had could have been much worse even for the places that got hit harder. I mean we could have had a hurricane.

So anyway, does anyone have any thoughts? I am going to pass out books in the park soon I think. But tomorrow is the PPG retreat. Wow I guess take a shower and wake up early for that.  And take an iron pill soon. well have a good day, everyone.