Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 12:24 on Monday night or Tuesday morning. Some crazy stuff happened today. I was on my way to comedy class, thinking about recent wheeling and dealings, and stumbled upon another issue in my mind. So then I made a phone call and got a good response. And then as I walked to comedy class, there was unexpected construction equipment everywhere around Lincoln center area, like for blocks and blocks, and I started coughing and gagging. Like wretching with no end in sight to the chemical problems. But I kept walking and got away from it and finished what I was working on. And then felt some feelings of excitement and relief, because I think God has just done another surprising switch up where what I really needed was provided amidst a disguise of other horrible issues. But it is not over and I have to type up some stuff tonight. But I expect it to be light and momentary.

I thought I might not be able to make it back to my comedy class but I was able to and worked on some new jokes. It didn’t go that well but actually I have enough for a great routine and am almost done. So that is exciting and I am friends with everyone in the class. And it feels different now, like I have recovered from some of the torture from the past three years. I mean how weird but maybe I can really stick with this hobby and have a community.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Sunday, May 17. I got good sleep but I am taking my medicine after the comedy show. It is fine, it is an 8 hour delay and I don't need to be persecuted for it.

I am going to drink some coffee and leave here at about 1 pm. I kind of want to go to red lobster but I did not think about it in time and me and my friends are keeping it simple. We are going to a comedy show.

I am missing my writers group and I hope we can meet again next month. Because I think we canceled. 

Gice it is a challenge to get through all this with my mental illness and disability.

Anyway, there is something kind of funny which is that the hospital helped me again and I am okay.

I wonder if the kirkus people have read my story collection yet. 

Soon I will make coffee. Gice. The lawyer friends. Pretty fun and funny.

I think that contract about the books is legally binding.  I think I am mostly protected from libel accusations, plagiarism, and people trying to take the book rights. I don't know if I should announce that myself but I think that is what just happened and wow it was supernatural and disguised.

Buster is working through some stuff because Reuben got employee of the month at NYP. Buster is almost okay but had a hard time with it.

Gice you know what I really enjoyed is the attention from Montifiore and Einstein.  That was a good time, almost normal, and yet I was a little manic wasn't I.

Ok I think the star wars is 132 and it is done. Thanks because wow I couldn't do a whole nother thing.

Well, have a good day everyone. 

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. My friend Beth called and I feel much better. I felt depressed earlier after the racism in my neighborhood. But sometimes my neighborhood is in on the conspiracy and it is not easy for all the working people in the stores, etc. 

I think I can get a refund on the Amazon order if I need to. I think it is a serious problem and if it goes really wrong I can accept the loss. But 700 dollars is not a joke. And harrassment from postal workers borders on crime.

I hope things get better in our country soon. Possibly it will be better after the trump years.

Gice did I almost have a lawyer and got manic? I mean it has been a while since I got manic. But I think I got good book material and it was stuff I did need to write about. Like writing a hundred books and not including that stuff would be weird. It was kind of like the blob mentality stuff. I think I am more worried about my books being challenged than I need to be. I think they will be fine. But the blindness of people to the work behind it could really be an issue. 

I am not sure I could have gotten through a trial. I mean maybe if I had just waited a day before emailing then I would have a case. But maybe I can try again in a month or so. 

 Hello everyone, I am making some coffee. I am thankful for what I have in life.  But I think poverty and loss has become the norm for me so I am accepting that possibly too much.  But I have no choice.  But this has happened before. Where I am like well at least I am not working 14 hours in China, at least I am not ins a war zone, at least I have food. But in regular life everything is gone and wasted. 

So I mean did I mess up and send too many emails. That might have been it but I felt like I should tell them all the stuff. Am I supposed to try again somewhere else? I mean it is the same stuff.

My question is just that I feel the supernatural traction of it so maybe that is what I am supposed to do.

What about that email to Tiffany? I think that was okay and she will know what to do.

Gice I am glad I took my medicine and got sleep. I didn't call my sister.  Should I have? Well I do not know. I think my sister got triggered enough today.

Well have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. Today at the post office one of the people overchaged me and pretended not to hear me say media mail. So I filled out a satisfaction survey complaining and then I suspected that the messed up order was on purpose.  So I tried to report that but something went wrong.  I also realized that I was one digit off on the zip code and the form disappeared and I was not able to complete the report.

I think I am going to have to accept losing 700 dollars and paying for it on credit for a year and a half and never getting the order. I think I have no choice other than to accept that.

Does anyone have any thoughts?

I just got good sleep and I took my medicine so that is good. I don't know how I feel about that other email but I did what seemed right at the time. I don't know how much mental illness is a factor in my life because I have been more disalbed for two years and because life really doesn't make sense anyway.

Gice some thai food would be nice but I think I have food but I will think about it.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I got about four hours of sleep and it felt good. I am taking two packages to the post office soon.  Probably in about an hour. It will be a far walk.  I don't think any legal witnesses are needed but there is a funny aspect to it. These packages are going to really cool people. Ok I will say it, one person grew up in actual Compton.  As many people know, in creative writing school I had a funny conversation with my teacher named Trinie and I mixed up the Comptons with the Hamptons.  And she happened to live in both L.A. and NYC.

I mean the comedy of it all.  And that isn't even the thing.  The thing is that the other package is to a psychologist who I don't know but who I think would find my case most interesting. 

I think I might need to follow up with some people soon but I think everyone can be patient.

Gice I have an order of books that did not get here correctly. And I paid for it with affirm and it needs to get here and the issue was with the post office but Amazon has the order so they do need to get it to me.

Karla was nice to me at inspection yesterday. I really enjoyed talking to her. 

There is something else but I am waiting and making sure it is not a weird manic idea. 

 Ok I found an inconsistency, where I said they were targeting a readership past my time.  But when you are preventing publication, you are not trying to ruin someone in front of their audience but keep them from presenting to their audience. So people might see an issue of me wanting something both ways.  And in this case also "wanting" some persecution. So like there are three problems. 

But I think what I am saying might not be an issue.  Like I think it is consistent with a multifaceted group of people doing anything and everything to ruin any of it, so why not target all of it.  Target every possibility, target every audience real or imagined, so yes publication or not I lose. So possibly it is not that bad that I went ahead and added a phrase here and there.  I just feel like they did both things. For some people to miss out entirely and for some people to see a shell of what it could have been.

And then the conspirators are saying, no, that's the good stuff. And it has to do with the concept of "meta," too.  Like to step back and name it. To be above it.

Well that is interesting. Remember when Matthew Dickman didn't like that section of my humor paper on chicken poems?  And later I was like, no, that is good stuff.

I don't think I was able to interpret all the secret messages. 

Gice I know some people don't like that abortion post on my jokes page, but I think it is a good post and I am leaving it. It doesn't mean I have reverted. And I know how stupid it is in some ways, like people can say, gee, because we all carry so many scalpels everywhere.  But that is why I am leaving it, is because it is just a stupid post and I do care about the issue and think there are solutions that have not been accepted because people are lazy and wanted to fight instead of fix.

So anyway, that is all, have a good day everyone.