Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is Sunday, June 21. I do not feel like walking right now. I am going to make some coffee instead of walking to the coffee shop. My new facebook page is doing well.  One of the videos has gotten 170 thousand views, really with about 17 thousand "thru-plays." But there are some in between plays in there too that include good jokes.  It is around 30 thousand thru plays for the whole page so far and that is literally like a thousand times the amount of people in the class shows.  Really maybe more like 800 times.  That is really worth it. And I am at 1.8k followers.  I kind of have mixed feelings about some aspects like cost, appearance, etc.  But I think mostly it is good for me to have a video page like that.  I actually am aware of the potential of phone videos. Like the selfie videos.  Am I right though?  Do I need to be doing a different kind of page where I journalism the stuff in my life? I am thinking no, stick with the comedy.

Not many trolls except I was not happy to see a mention of my teacher who I gave credit to in a video.  I literally did last initial and they looked him up and blamed me for some of his humor that is a different topic that I do not do.  I mean am I funneling that to India in a bad way? I think I am okay and just doing my thing. I hope everyone stays safe though. This also goes back to my awareness of destiny and how God ordained for that person to be my very excellent comedy teacher.  And how different we are.

So anyway, my hope is that this will be some good content food for the people who view it all. It is of a certain nature.  There is a juiciness to some of it.  Like me as a disabled, mentally ill person, my gendered appearance choices which could not be more organic and consistent, the christianity, the unboosted jokes, etc. What will be interesting is maybe after this boost if I can tolerate all the unshared stuff. I think it will be fine.

So anyway, my critique group. I did not do well for them this month but I am meeting with Janice today at 3 pm. I am aware too of how I did not give good critique on Jody's book on google docs but there was an issue with my internet for that, I did try about four times and couldn't, and I was also thrown off by her having to redo a lot. So I will try again, that is all I can do. I still have the glasses.

 Hello everyone.  I think I am going to take an inventory of the year so far.  That is kind of rude but honestly I am bored and I do feel like I need to improve my attitude about some stuff.

So okay, I think early on was that book of rhymes and it was supernatural. That was really cool, but are the rhymes that good? I am not sure the meter is even right on some of them.  But anyway, that was a good start, and then the book of three books for that.

Then I also ordered about 200 books and gave those away. That is a few goals completed, one big hospital send, a class set, and some bonus people.  That is good.

Then the trip to Greenville, and I found out I did not have to caregive for my mom's hip surgery.  That went well.

Also, I feel like my mom gave me enough money in the winter.  This summer I do not have enough money but I made my choice to get a lawyer and that was in fact worth it. I did need that and feel better and feel like some things will be resolved just from not writing anything with no regard for anything.

So anyway, the comedy class was another good thing and the jokes were good. I feel like my appearance was not that good in the video but tolerable for my page and adds variety. So that is okay. Also now, a facebook page, compiled patiently from several years of doing the best I can.

Ok now I am kind of drawing a blank.  I transitioned from some phone a friends to other phone a friends, and I continued attending nami groups.  I also had some hospital appointments and feel some community from that.

What else. I gave joke books to delivery drivers and about 30 other people, maybe even forty. I sent a few queries, I attended the children's book conference, I participated in Writing For Your Life and 540.

I kept my PO Box, I reduced my horrible medicine, and I bought three new shirts and two pairs of jeans.

I used my SNAP benefits and was relieved from the grocery store commute problem.

I socialized with three friends in New York, and maybe went downtown a few other times.

What else. Ok, the videos.  I think that is the other major thing.  I started making ai videos and sending them to India, and I am nearing the 200 million mark.  But there is a delay and I am using good self control.  

What about church. I attended online sometimes but just can't tithe. I mean I have kept up a tithing charade despite living off credit cards and charity.  There is something to it, but my facebook pages need to be seen as legitimate christian missions, too, and can't a church help with that? I mean why not, I do not know, and yet I feel that with this conspiracy, it could be appropriate for me to stick to my civilian status.

Ok what else.  I watched the news, and prayed a medium amount. I could have done much better but had some good days.  I saw a few visions but not a lot.  Maybe if we reduce the latuda I will see some good stuff again.

What else.  I passed inspection every week so far and tolerated a lot of missed appointments from the staff person in question.  The power play of a rude gesture of disrespect.  So time to pray for forgiveness again.  Hopefully something will get better soon, and yet it never really does, I am on a downward path and it is not the christian "descent to greatness." It is just me being bullied.

I think that is all from this year. I am forgetting Ravneet! I just miss Ravneet and I am not sure that the secret messages are maintaining our closeness enough. but possibly I kept that official in a good way.

Ok is there anything else. It is midyear. It went by fast.  I liked that post where someone talked about their summer bucket list.  That is a cute idea.  Summer goes by fast.

Ok therapy and taking the shuttle to North Central Bronx. That has gone well.  

Kirkus reviews. That was another thing.  Posts on my jokes page, only mostly okay on normal page.

Watching youtube, mixing it up with the music and food videos, maybe not watching as much this year.

I just can't think of anything else. Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I am feeling a little bit better and I think that I felt some angst from the numbers slowing down when it is the middle of the night in India.  I mean it just messes with me psychologically and now it is back to normal.  I was thinking at 850 I might stop the ads but actually I believe I will keep the ads running.

Anyway I know I missed a great Mensa party, but to me, the real issue is that I forgot the afternoon online discussion today when ten minutes before, I was planning to log in.  So actually, I had memory lapses three times today, but it was normal stuff every time.  It isn't stuff like not knowing where I am or something.  It is just being forgetful.  I need to accept that as part of my life.

I wish Hilary had won the election in 2016. That was what was needed.  Things were more positive then and would have stayed that way for a while, probably.   There would have been economic problems from too much government, but tech advances probably would have made up for it. But I think some people wanted to be mad and that is what we got. 

Anyway, this is a good prayer window and I have taken advantage of some of it but not perfect. You know what is good sometimes is to pray for other people's praying and prayers. I mean let them get some stuff.

Some people still don't understand that I am disabled.  But I wish I could work.  

Gice I think this year will be the last main effort with the books unless something happens. And then I will keep them available for as long as I can but kind of give up on the project. It was a twenty year thing.  Some work reached people. I had readings and participated in things.  Some jokes reached people.  The fiction didn't really reach a lot of people. I mean maybe it is not too late to send some stories to lesser publications. Some people might be happy to get a story from me. It's just that as a whole, it wasn't inferior.  It was consistently entertaining and absolutely worthy of a place on shelves and in classrooms.

Well, have a good day everyone.

 Hello everyone, I just took my medicine. I think if I take it in the afternoon a few more times, then I will be back to normal soon with my sleep patterns.

I talked to a new phone a friend a while ago, and now I am going to probably sleep soon. Tomorrow I am not going downtown but possibly Monday I will try out a new walking route.  And yet it puts me at risk of spending money.  So hmm I do not know what to do about that.

Today I read through a few thin books.  I still have some reading issues. I actually wonder if a lot of us do because of online habits.

I was thinking about watching the Batman and Robin movie because I saw an ad online. I mean who knows, maybe that is how they manipulate people.  They said it was the 29th anniversary. I mean who celerbates a 29 year anniversary.  Probably they automated some ads to try to sell rentals somehow online.

Anyway I am kind of getting sick of my page that I started and my own personae.  But possibly it is just from some facebooking snafus.

I wonder if I should chatgpt some health stuff like temporal lobe epilepsy.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I made an unexpected decision to only go for the Indian audience with the stand-up page. I mean that is different than I intended, but I actually think it is some transparency that is good to have for the other pages. And weirdly, the numbers are higher than I thought. The boosted video view posts are going to be in the range of the ai blobs posts. I mean that is pretty amazing.  

I could still boost to america and maybe reach about 9000 people with a normal boost, and get a third of that for whole "thru-plays." I mean that is more than at a comedy club. So maybe I will do that but for now, this is all I can do. I think it is working out well.  And I will do some more poems and jokes on my jokes page. I really need a budget for it.  I mean what am I supposed to do. 

Anyway, I feel like taking a third walk but am going to wait until later to do that. I think I will try to go to the Mensa discussion at 2 pm. 

I just think possibly I was not patient enough with the USA ad, but now I made my decision and I think I will be happy with it.

I feel kind of bored sometimes but am glad for the safety and rations. But honestly sometimes I have a feeling of things getting worse in some ways. I think some of it is on purpose from mental health people. And I need to stay immune in some ways and pray for all populations.  They are trying to repel me from some groups. I feel sorry for them.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. I started my new comedy page. I was not expecting to get it done so fast.  It is rolling along and I am boosting some posts. I will see how it goes.  I actually think my selfie phone videos might end up doing better.  But might as well have some stand up mic stand videos too. Right now I am boosting my favorite one about april fools.  Possibly there will be some trolls. But I mean that is kind of their problem.  

I think it is the conspiracy that I have no american career. But some friends said that they perceive me as a normal writer.  So I will try to stay positive. I just feel like there are no book sales. 

I really miss my girlfriend.  I got a message from her earlier but I don't know what it means. I just feel like this week I have not understood the messages very well or communicated at all for a while.

And then the zeroes on book sales are starting to really get to me.  But I think part of that is because I think I have finished the give away list and maybe I haven't.  Maybe a few addresses would be good. I mean I could do that later today. I am thinking around three oclock.  I have a few library books left, and a few joke books, and pinnacle of human folly. Maybe that is what I will do next week.

This past week I walked about 23 miles total.  That is the correct amount and I will try to do that every week.  I have a walking buddy on the phone and can text photos.  So that is good.

I actually have some new phone buddies that contacted me themselves. So that is nice and a relief.

I just do feel depressed sometimes like there is no horizon of things getting better, just decline and hopefully no bullying but probably it will get a little worse.

 Hello everyone, this is Refried. It is 8:44 on Saturday. I think I will walk to Starbucks soon. I just uploaded some more videos and am almost done starting my stand up jokes page.  I think unexpectedly I will boost to India mostly instead of the United States. I don't feel that it is urgent, and I might be better off printing some poems on memes soon to add to my poems and jokes page. And then do another memes book as well.

The volume is kind of low on some of the videos, and I think that was the choice of the people who did the class.  I kind of don't appreciate it, but people can turn up the volume if they need to.

I closed my eyes some in the videos but it is okay. Not all of them are like that.  Interestingly, I think that finally my poem reading videos will find an audience, and who knows, maybe that will be what it is all about on this page. That is kind of weird in a way.

I am also going to do phone selfie videos.  I think some of that is funnier.  But honestly I expect it all to blend as just part of normal internet content.  I simply am not going to waste my life and work.  It will reach some people even if they don't understand everything.  The captions don't match either, which I don't appreciate, but I will get over it.  It will be part of making it not matter so much that i can't tolerate it.

So now the missing component is the financials. Hopefully I will figure something out. I think I am going to boost the new york t shirt video to get page views. Or a poems video.  I don't need a lot of page follows, just some is recommended. Hmm, actually, I could do a meme for that.  Instead of a video. Like I could take that pink meme or a groundhog meme or something.  Hmm I just am not sure that is that honest, like possibly I should go ahead and do a video.