Hello everyone, today is Saturday, February 15. I noticed that I have had some blog readers in the last month or so, probably because of my facebook ads. 

I keep having to erase my writing as I write today, because I respond to some grievances and go in a direction I did not intend. I truly am scrambled with a confused mission and no consistent intent behind my writing.  I think that is okay and some audience will see what happened.  Like they will understand the level of meaning that was taken away. So it left me not knowing whether to describe and document mistreatment like a journalist, speak out against injustice like an activist, prescribe a different way like a church leader, or joke around like the columnist I will never be.  

Actually in heaven I think I will be a columnist, and an advertiser and a sketch comedy person. I don't feel like those things were bitterly withheld from me in this life, especially the acting hobby, but I think that is what my healthy self will be good at some other time.

And I am totally happy to be the writer that I am for now.  I just question the missing audience.  But there was an audience. People in India like my jokes.  And people in Libya will be happy to receive the reward that America forfeited. It will be a good judgement day and have scenes like the Airplane movie.

That reminds me to send my friend a note, I think she wrote a book and I might try to buy a copy.

I think people did a reparitions experiment with me but they failed and made me do double reparitions.  How could they not see that I had already had a life loss and delay. I feel bad for all these people who fumbled the opportunity we sent them.  I mean they probably see me like that horror movie character who walks into the basement, but I see them as the horror movie audience who wasted their money and I'll turn to them in the theatre and tell them what I think about it.